Seen In A Certain Light
by Lli
Summary: After an extraordinary event, can one return to an ordinary life? Holly, at least, is determined to try. And, needless to say, everyone pitches in to help - regardless of whether or not she wants them to.
1. Chapter 1

So, first and foremost, a large round of applause for ilex-ferox, beta extraordinaire, who went (and is continuing to go) waaaaaay above and beyond on this one. Also, thanks to GMontag who, unwittingly, started this whole thing by pointing out that there are very, very few stories in the AF fandom over 60 000 words. So, of course, I decided I needed to write one. Welcome to my first novel, in which, as per usual with me, not much happens. Rated **T** because the author likes to project her potty mouth and because - let's face it, this is me - eventually there are going to be references to sordid goings on of the A/H variety.

Also, for the first bit, everyone's going to be a bit OOC; I'm playing the trauma card as an excuse. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter One: Unprecedented

Trouble crouches beside Artemis, watching in fascinated horror as Holly's body begins to visibly rearrange itself. 'I can't take her down to Haven General like this,' he says.

Artemis shakes his head.

'The Council will have to be informed; there's absolutely no precedent-' Trouble breaks off as one of her joints gives a resounding pop. 'D'Arvit, I hope she can't feel this.'

Artemis shakes his head again. 'The brain would have shut itself down under such stress, even if there weren't a sedative in the actual injection.' Science is his security blanket, and he wraps it tightly around himself. 'She can't feel a thing.'

'Can we move her?'

'Does it look like we can move her?' The boy gestures to her writhing spine as Butler fights to hold her still.

Trouble grimaces. 'Here just isn't very...'

Artemis glances around the decaying warehouse, in an equally decrepit corner of Dublin. 'This isn't surgery, there should be no risk of infection. Just so long as we aren't interrupted by anyone.'

'I've got men standing guard. They'll mesmerise anyone approaching. Though, at this hour, you people are usually fast asleep.'

'Usually,' agrees Artemis, watching Holly's fingers clench. His breathing comes in spurts, his ribcage contracting around his heart with every painful crack of her bones.

Trouble can see he is losing the boy's attention. Not that he can blame him. 'When she's still, we'll move then.'

'Yes. Butler and I will take her to the Manor.'

'Ex_cuse _me? Wait a second there, Fowl. If you think for one minute that I am going to let one of my officers disappear into that house of yours-'

Artemis's eyes focus on Trouble with alarming intensity. 'And if you, Commander, think for one moment that I will allow my best friend to be left in the hands of the Council to become some science experiment, locked away in a psych hospital goodness only knows how far under the earth, you are delusional. Besides,' his eyes go back to Holly on the floor, 'I have a debt to repay.'

'More than one,' Butler comments.

His charge gives a curt nod.

The LEPrecon Commander can hardly believe his pointy ears. 'That's all very heart-warming coming, as it is, from a _felon_, but don't forget who you're talking to here, Fowl. I'm not Root, you can't bully me into following your every whim.'

'No,' allows the boy, 'but Butler can.'

Trouble swallows, remembering that fateful night on the Manor lawns. But he rallies valiantly. 'As a member of the People, and as an officer of the LEP, Holly is my responsibility, and no concern of yours.'

'Once again,' Artemis smiles ruefully, 'you are mistaken. By the time it will be safe to move her, Holly will no longer be a member of the People and, as such, her position as an officer of the LEP will be entirely theoretical. However, she has helped me despite my species, and various other short comings, so I fail to see why I shouldn't return the favour.'

Trouble looks at the boy in something approaching wonder. 'You actually care about her, don't you?'

Artemis shrugs, wanting to be mature about the situation but not quite capable of shaking off the reaction of his subconscious 16 year old self.

'You know, Stockholm Syndrome is only supposed to affect the kidnapped, not the kidnapper.'

'We will return with her to Fowl Manor. Butler is fully trained in first aid, and I fail to see what pertinent information any of your doctors or scientists will be privy to which I do not already have.' Artemis acts as though he hadn't heard.

Trouble rubs his temples. If arguing with Artemis weren't so frustrating it would nearly be banal. He always knows he's going to lose before he's even opened his mouth.

'I'm going to call the Council,' Trouble replies.

'By all means.' Having won his point, Artemis once again loses interest in Trouble.

* * *

Holly Short will always vividly remember her last conscious moment as a member of the People, not that she recognised it for what it was at the time.

Lying on her back on dirty concrete, her vision beginning to blur, the only thought in her mind had been: _Well d'Arvit, I really buggered that one up, didn't I?_

There will be times when she wishes she had gone out with a little more eloquence - but there you go.

When she wakes up, which in itself is a surprise, she stares fuzzily at the room around her. High ceilings, wood panelling, velvet curtains pulled back to let the evening sun in through French windows-

Holly pauses.

_Evening sun?_

Frowning, she pulls back the duvet and swings her feet to the ground. Toes sink into thick carpet and her frown deepens as she realises the sun isn't affecting her at all. Not that she misses the weak knees, the shakes, the nausea, it's just that-

'I'd get back into bed if I were you, Holly, before Butler finds you.'

Holly jumps, one hand on her hammering heart. 'King Frond the V! Artemis, you just scared the living d'Arvit out of me. Don't you ever _knock?_'

Sitting in an armchair at the foot of her bed, Artemis raises an eyebrow, 'When I've been in the room for hours already?'

'Watching me sleep that fascinating, is it?' Holly bites back, trying to cover her embarrassment at not having seen him. How on earth had she missed him? He's good, but her fairy senses are better.

'Actually, yes,' he replies. He opens his mouth to say more but apparently thinks better of it and quickly shuts it again.

Holly raises an eyebrow, 'Become a bit of a Peeping Tom with puberty, have we?'

'No,' Artemis glares at her, a faint blush creeping up his neck. Getting to his feet, he changes the subject. 'How do you feel? Muscle pain? Nausea? Headache? Can you move all your fingers and toes? What's the product of 57 multiplied by 48?'

Backing away from his rapid fire questions, Holly squirms as he puts a wrist against her forehead, checking her temperature. 'Have you lost it, Arty?' she swats away his hand, 'Elves don't get temperatures. I feel fine and I have no d'Arvitting idea what 57 multiplied by 48 is. And yes, look!' Sitting on the edge of the bed she sticks her arms and legs forward and wiggles all ten fingers and all ten toes.

Artemis purses his lips at her waggling digits as though they have all personally offended him.

'And what's all this about, anyway? Why am I here and not in Haven General? What happened after Opal shot me? Did Trouble's boys get her? And,' Holly remembers her original conundrum, 'why am I not being affected by that sunlight? Though, now that you mention it, I do feel a little weird. Like... like something's shifted. Not to mention I'm bone dry in the magic department. And you look different. Have you done something to your hair?'

Artemis sits down beside her on the bed, without saying anything. He looks at his hands as he fiddles with the crease in his trouser leg.

Holly feels something cold take hold of her intestines, 'Artemis,' her voice is quiet, 'what's happened? What's wrong? Are you... you're not hurt are you? She didn't shoot you after all, did she?' She lays a hand on his shoulder.

The boy takes her hand in his own. Holly swallows. Frond, someone must have died. 'Artemis...'

'The shot was never meant for me, Holly,' his voice is so quiet she has to lean in to hear him. 'She thought threatening me would be a way of making you do something rash. Apparently,' he tries for a weak grin, 'she was right.'

'What exactly are you trying to say here, Artemis?' Holly draws away from him, eyes narrowed, but his hand tightens on hers and she doesn't get far.

'Commander Kelp wanted to be the one to tell you, but he won't be back for goodness knows how long yet, and it wouldn't be right that you not know-'

Holy snorts, 'Yes, I'm sure the morals of the situation are really weighing you down. You want to beat Trouble to the punch and tell me first. Alright, I get it, so get on with it, will you?'

Artemis frowns at her, clearly peeved. She watches the sunlight play across his face, the shadows of the window's leading bisecting his features.

'It was _interesting_ to watch you sleep,' he replies coldly, 'because since losing consciousness you have grown nearly 40 cm.'

'_What?_' Holly looks down at their hands in his lap. The last time they had held hands, naked, except for their underwear, and glaring at No. 1 for all they were worth, his hands had dwarfed hers. Now they were nearly the same.

Artemis bites his lip. 'Holly, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have started like that. There's... this isn't an easy thing to say-'

'Stand up.'

'Holly-'

'Stand up, Artemis.'

He stands, taking her with him.

She swallows audibly. 'Artemis, what's wrong with me?'

The boy chuckles bitterly. 'You're human, Holly. That's what Opal's gun did. It was one of her science experiments, like the brain augmentations, like the magic enhancements. She wanted to do the worst thing she could imagine to you,' he laughs again, a horrible, sickly sound. 'I'm so sorry Holly,' voice pale.

Holly hasn't heard a word. Her eyes bore into his collar bone, something she hasn't been at eyelevel with in years. She tries to take a deep breath. _Gotta keep calm,_ she tells herself. Instead, she chokes on the inhalation and it becomes a sob. Without a second thought, she pitches forward into Artemis.

'Oof,' exhales Artemis as, midway through a scientific explanation which hadn't been making either of them feel better, he struggles to support her weight. 'Holly-'

'Hold me,' she speaks into his shirt.

'Holly-'

'Just do it!' Stronger men than Artemis have quailed before that voice.

With all the possible awkwardness of a sixteen year old holding the love of his entire teenaged life, Artemis holds her. He even, though very gingerly, pats her hair as she begins, in hiccups and gasps, to cry.

And this is how Butler finds them when he brings up tea: standing in the fading light of day, Holly's hands fisted into the back of Artemis' shirt, his long fingers shockingly white in the red of her hair. His mismatched eyes are wide above Holly's head, staring at Butler with a strange mixture of fear, misery, and, faintly, a disbelieving sense of triumph. She had clung to _him_.

Butler sets the tea tray down gently, coming forward to untangle Holly from his charge.

'Butler,' she gives him a watery smile, as he sits her down and places a cup of tea in her hand. Vainly, she rubs at the tears tracks on her face. 'Thanks for the tea.' She sticks to the obvious, unsure if she is capable of more.

'Don't mention it.'

The three of them sit in silence, one trying to come to grips with the end of her life as she knew it, one alternating between fervent wishes that his shirt never dries and curses for his pubescent sentimentality, and one chafing against his uncommon inability to make things right again. Outside the sky gets progressively darker and the air gets colder.

Eventually, they are sitting in utter darkness, but not one of them notice. Artemis stares into the gloom, seeing the room at an entirely different hour.

Butler, Artemis and Trouble stand beside the bed. Holly lies blessedly still, her breathing regular, her pulse strong.

'One of the Councillors suggested keeping her underground,' Trouble speaks suddenly, 'to look into her situation.'

'To find a cure?'

Trouble licks his lips. 'To find out how Opal succeeded. They think it might help alchemy research.'

'Alchemy research,' Artemis repeats.

'Yes.'

'But that would lead to a cure,' Butler puts in.

'We understand the mechanics of cancer,' Artemis points out, 'and yet still have no cure. What did you say to them, Commander?'

'I told them you'd been right about them.'

'How unpleasant for you.'

'You're right about another thing too: they can't touch her now that she's human. It's against the Book.' Trouble fiddles with his uniform, 'Thank you for taking her.'

Artemis nods.

'I'll come back tonight, if I can. I've only got half an hour before sunrise as it is. Hopefully there'll be more news, but you know how slow the Council can be, even when in a good mood. Foaly'll be in touch I'm sure.'

'Of course,' replies Artemis.

Trouble swallows, nods, and takes to the sky without further ado.

Butler moves one of the armchairs to the foot of the bed. 'You may as well sit down, Artemis.'

The boy nods again, but doesn't move.

Gently, Butler takes him by the arm and pushes him into the chair. Artemis doesn't resist. Butler sighs.

'I'll go fix breakfast, shall I?'

Artemis nods.

Butler gives up.

* * *

The sound of Artemis' cell phone makes them all jump. The boy jerks out of his reverie. 'Hello?' he snaps with unnecessary force.

'Ah, always such a joy to hear your melodious tones, Fowl,' comes Foaly's whinny. 'Turn your computer on, would you? Trouble should be there any minute, and I want in on this conversation.'

'And what if it's a private conversation?'

'I could always turn your computer on for you,' Foaly replies.

Artemis snaps the phone shut and goes over to the laptop he brought in with him so many hours earlier. Butler realises with a start that the room is nearly pitch black and makes for the lights.

'Was that Foaly?' Holly looks up from the bottom of her cup.

'Mhmm. Your Commander should be here shortly,' Artemis says to his keyboard.

'Fabulous,' Holly swallows the last of her tea. 'Wonderful.'

From the light switch Butler heads to the French doors. In the black of the new moon the stars are bright above the hazy lights of Dublin.

Trouble Kelp materialises on the balcony railing. If the bodyguard is surprised, he doesn't show it. Without looking down, he puts out a hand to hold Trouble in place. 'Be gentle,' he says.

'Has Fowl told her already?' Trouble slips off his helmet.

Butler nods.

Trouble rolls out his eyes. 'Classic,' he mutters, hopping to the floor.

Holly looks up as he nears her chair.

'I already know,' her face is calm, her eyes unblinking. Trouble shivers. Her face is calm, smooth like the ocean in the eye of a storm. But he can feel wind pricking the back of his neck.

'I know you already know,' he smiles wryly, 'I was sort of expecting it.'

'Fifteen years old and still predictable,' Holly monotones. Trouble thinks he sees Artemis' lips twitch in response, but it could have been the poor lighting. He decides he doesn't need to know.

'Holly-'

'No, no, wait, don't tell me... I've lost my job,' Holly gives him a game-show host's grin.

Trouble sighs, putting his helmet down on the coffee table. 'Don't be like this Holly, please. I know it's hard-'

Her eyes go dark, and the wind tickling Trouble's neck now crackles along his ears, sinking its teeth into his skin. 'You know, do you? You _know_-'

'He's only trying to help Holly,' Foaly interrupts.

'I don't want help. I don't need help. What the hell kind of help can any of you _possibly_ give me?' She rises from the chair, her words whipping from her like hail. But Butler can see the knobs of her spine through her thin cotton nightgown and they are shivering in terror.

Artemis decides now is not the time to point out that if anyone is going to be able to help her it would be Foaly and himself.

'Sit _down_, Short,' Trouble draws himself up, 'and stop feeling so d'Arvitting sorry for yourself. Shit happened. We know. But you will not talk to your commanding officer like that.' His voice gentles and he curses that sore, soft spot, like a bruise just below his heart, that Holly had unwittingly inflicted upon him years ago, 'Holly, we're your friends. We'll... we'll work this out. We'll take care of you,' he eyes Artemis for a moment, 'all of us.'

Artemis watches her sway in the slight breeze, her whole body billowing like a sheet in the wind. She looks emaciated, he thinks, as though she has simply been stretched longer instead of made larger. He knows this isn't the case, but still he would swear that her limbs look too fragile, too spindly-thin to support the weight of her life.

She sits back down, landing with a thump, a graceless tangle of coltish limbs still unused to themselves. 'But that's just it,' she whispers, 'I don't want to be taken care of.'

Foaly looks away. Butler swallows hard. Trouble runs his hands through his hair. Only Artemis watches her, unable to look away from the train wreck of her body.

Trouble rests a hand on her shoulder. 'The Council's been informed. I don't know what they'll decide, but don't worry, I won't let them...' he pauses, unwilling to mention what they had already tried to do. 'I won't let them hurt you,' he finishes, looking at Artemis over her head. The boy nods silently, he won't tell.

'Thanks, Trubs,' she rests a hand on his wrist, the storm subsiding as quickly and inexplicably as it had come. 'You're a good friend. I'm sorry, I-'

'Don't be,' he smiles. 'Who knows, maybe we can keep you on as our above ground liaison. Have you do all the kinds of stunts you and the mud boy used to do, only without the risk of you getting hauled off to a science lab.'

Holly pats his wrist, 'We'll see.'

'Well, I've got a question here, sorry to interrupt,' Foaly butts in, and Trouble rolls his eyes, 'but where's she gonna _live_ 'til we get the legalities sorted out? Come to that, where's she gonna live _after _we get the legalities sorted out?'

Artemis frowns at the laptop screen, 'What on earth are you talking about? She'll live here obviously.' The words are out before he realises. He can feel three pairs of eyes fix on him. Butler smiles slightly.

The silence is interrupted by:

'What if I don't want to live here?' Holly asks, indignant. 'I am capable of renting an apartment, you know. I've been doing it since before you were born.'

Artemis blinks at her, taken aback. 'No one is questioning your ability to sign a lease Holly, but why waste your money, which, I might add, you haven't currently got, when you can simply stay here?'

'And what, sponge off of you for the rest of my life? What about your parents? What'll they say?' She is back on her feet, looking much more solid than before. Trouble steps back, out of the way, like a child watching a lightning storm from the safety of their living room couch.

'Holly, after all the things I have accomplished, do you really think I will have trouble convincing my parents of something so insignificant? And it's not like we haven't got the money-'

'Don't throw your money in my face, Fowl. Don't forget how you made it,' Holly balls her fists. 'I won't freeload. Especially not off blood money!'

Artemis draws back as though slapped. 'You're delirious, Captain Short. Clearly, you are in need of prolonged bed rest and I suggest you get some immediately.' His face is white, his mouth a pencil line.

'Artemis, I-' Holly puts her hands over her mouth, eyes wide. 'I didn't mean- d'Arvit. I'm being horrible tonight. Artemis-'

The combination of Artemis and Holly is an unstable compound to begin with, but add in emotional trauma and overt romantic tension and their combustion time becomes instantaneous. Relatively used to this by now, however, Butler steps forward, putting a hand on each of their shoulders; to reassure. But also to keep Holly from giving Artemis a bloody nose when he inevitably comes back with another witty response.

'Let's cross that bridge when we get to it, how about?' he speaks mildly, 'In the meantime, Holly, I know you hate it but, though he could have phrased it better, Artemis is right: you need to rest. You shouldn't even have gotten out of bed. Who knows what could still be going on in your system? For now it'll be easier if you simply stay here. Just until things get sorted out. Are you alright with that?'

Holly nods, her body already sagging against Butler's. 'Of course, yes. I didn't mean-'

'I know,' interrupts Butler. 'Artemis, would you go get some water, please? I have some vitamins I wants her to take.'

Artemis nods, his face still knotted with anger and hurt, and moves away.

'Commander, Foaly, if you wouldn't mind?'

'Pfff, better you than me, Mud Man,' Foaly shakes his head. 'Holly, sometimes I am amazed the two of you manage to get out of the house, never mind save the world on a regular basis.'

Holly hangs her head, turning her face away.

Foaly gnaws his lower lip, realising too late that now is not the time for witty repartee. 'Aww, come on, don't worry about it, Holly. Artemis can take a little insult here and there. And I was only kidding about the two of you. We'll figure this out. I'm a genius remember? And Artemis isn't a complete moron either.'

Holly gives him a weak smile.

'Atta girl. Oh! Speaking of money, send me your credit code and I'll have your savings exchanged for ... what do you want? Euro? And I'll set you up a nice human account. Sound good?'

'Fabulous. Thanks, Foaly.' Holly heaves a mental sigh. Not totally destitute then.

'No problemo. I'll see you soon. 'Night Butler.'

'Good night Foaly.'

The laptop screen blacks out. Artemis, returning with a bottle of water, sighs. 'I wish he'd let me turn it off manually, he knows that's bad for the computer.'

Trouble shrugs, 'He's gotta make his exit. I'll be back tomorrow night if I haven't got a Council meeting. Either way, I'll have Foaly call with an update. Not that he won't call anyway, any excuse to make long distance calls with government money.' He looks up at Holly, opens his mouth to say something, and closes it again. He lays a hand on her shoulder instead, and disappears into the night.

'I'll never get used to that,' Butler comments conversationally, handing her two pills and the bottle, 'just poof, and you guys are gone.'

'Well, don't worry,' Holly swallows dutifully, 'I'll never do it to you again.'

Butler grimaces. 'I'm sorry, I didn't think. Would you prefer it if we left?'

Holly nods, then stops. 'Actually... would, could, you stay?'

'Of course.' Butler smiles, moving to gather up the tea things, 'But I'll just go put another kettle on first, if you don't mind.'

The door closes behind him and silence hangs cold and heavy in the room.

Artemis returns to the chair at the foot of the bed. Holly hugs her knees to her chest, pulling the nightgown over them. Gently, she rocks back and forth on the duvet.

'I'm sorry, Artemis,' she says at last. 'I didn't mean what I said. It was a terrible thing to say. I'm just... I'm so... I don't know what's going on. Or how to react. I'm sad, then I'm angry, then I'm numb all over and then I don't even know what. But I do... I do appreciate what you're doing. It's very good of you. I... you're a good friend, Arty.'

'If you appreciate what I'm doing, why won't you accept it?' The hurt is palpable, rolling off him in lapping little waves, licking at her feet.

She flops backwards onto the bed, sighing. 'Nearly all my life I've been on my own. I have always taken care of myself. I am the one person who I can always depend on. I am entirely independent. And I'm proud of that. I'm proud of myself. It wasn't easy, getting where I am now. Where I was,' she amends tonelessly. 'But if... if I don't even have that anymore, if I just live here, and let you... take care of me... what do I have left? My independence, my pride, they're all I have Artemis, don't take them away from me.'

'But isn't that what friends are supposed to be for? Taking care of one another? Isn't that what all the books say?'

'There's taking care and then there's taking care. I won't become anyone's leech.'

'Leeches take without asking. I'm offering.'

'You weren't offering earlier, you were telling. You didn't even ask my opinion.'

'Is that the problem? For goodness sake, I simply thought...' _well, actually, I didn't really think at all. I spoke before I had a chance to... '_I assumed you'd be relieved to know you had a home.'

'Come up here onto the bed, Arty. I don't like talking to you when I can't see you; I'm at too much of a disadvantage even when I can.'

'Not right now you're not. I hardly seem capable of forming coherent sentences,' but he clambers up beside her nonetheless. They lie side by side and stare up at the canopy, not quite touching.

For a while they drop the argument and lay silent, bodies slowly relaxing, the tangles of their muscles and the stiffness of their bones unwind and lay calm.

'This is my fault,' Artemis says at last. 'I am the reason that you are... the way you are. And I can admit that. But I owe you so much already. There are very few people in the world to whom I feel indebted, and you are most definitely one of them. And yet... you are always doing _more_. Your interest rates are astronomical.' He runs his hands over his face, 'I would like to take care of you, Holly, if you... if you'd let me. It's all I can do.'

He's speaking through his fingers, voice muffled, barely audible, but with words no less astute. 'I don't believe anyone would think less of you for it. No one below ground would even have to know.' This is a lie on his part. Very, very deep down, he knows he would want everyone to know. To know that she trusted him, that she let him do what she would let no one else_. _That she chose _him _to care for her_. _And he would want everyone to know that he was capable of doing exactly that.

'You're fifteen Artemis. What happens in twenty years when you meet some nice little woman and you lobotomize her half a dozen times until she agrees to marry you and then: _Oh yeah, this is Holly, we used to work together, and now she lives here. But only in the west wing, so don't worry about it. It's just like having a poltergeist!_'

'I would never give someone a lobotomy. That's utterly unprincipled.'

'That's not the point. And since when do you care?'

'I need to make amends, Holly. Don't you understand that at least?'

'Okay, new situation, twenty years from now and you're, as is more likely, still very much single, tottering around in this big house, avoiding me because you've promised to take care of me and still feel like you should. So, subsequently, you resent me and have grown to hate me more than life itself.'

'And you used to be so optimistic...'

'Changing species changes a girl, what can I say? Anyway, the bottom line is, I take care of myself. I always have and I always will. Thank you, Arty. Honestly, it's so good of you, I'm having trouble believing you aren't feverish. But I don't need to be molly coddled.'

The boy sighs. 'I act immorally, you lecture me, I act compassionately, you mock me. What exactly do you want from me, Holly?'

She turns away from him. 'I don't know,' she whispers to the headboard.


	2. Chapter 2

Before this goes any further, I'd just like to say (this is mostly for QuixoticKid, because I was sceptical about it too) that yeah, I know, the premise is less than original/more than a little iffy, but that was the point - I wanted to see if I could make it work. Though, truthfully, if EC's got his characters shooting lightening from their fingertips and randomly synthesizing brain fluids, I would not be surprised if they suddenly started switching species as well.

Continuing thank yous! to ilex-ferox.

* * *

Chapter Two: Shot Through the Heart

Butler checks his watch. It's been forty-five minutes. Things should be settled by now. He presses an ear to the door. Silence. Either they're asleep or they've killed each other. Balancing the tea tray on one massive palm, he opens the door, entering the darkened bedroom with some trepidation. In the dim light he can make out two shapes lying horizontally across the bed. He rolls his eyes and sets the tray down. Both curled into balls, they are nestled back to back, unconsciously seeking each other's warmth in the cool night air. Butler is reminded of a pair of kittens. Gently, he pulls the duvet free and tucks it around them. Let them sleep.

He returns to the teapot and pours himself a cup, drinking slowly. He stares out of the window but doesn't see the dark sky and muddy lights. Instead, he sees a gun pressing into pale flesh. The ghostly image of a moment passed. A moment in which his whole field of vision had narrowed to a few centimetres where glimmering metal touched soft white, or perhaps in which those few centimetres had expanded until there was nothing else; he isn't sure which. A moment in which all sensation had fallen from him; like a tide, the world had simply washed away, leaving him scorched and alone on a burning sandbar. He was too old, too slow, _what could he do?_

Then he had looked up. His eyes had met hers and he'd seen that he was not the only one on that particular sandbar. And he had known it would be alright. She would protect their boy now.

Butler takes a sip of tea. It hurts to know you are redundant. But, at least, he has the consolation of knowing that Artemis will still be protected. And, when it comes down to it, this is all Butler really needs.

* * *

_What will I do?_ Holly keeps her eyes shut and her breathing slow and regular as Butler tucks them in. _What under the earth – what _on _earth- can I possibly do? I can't live as one of them. As a human. I can't. They're too awful._

_Artemis and Butler aren't that bad. They're two of your closest friends. _

_Artemis and Butler are two very special cases. In more ways than one. And I'm not just talking about the humans themselves here. What about the cars, the factories, the pollution, the child labour, the diseases, even worse: the drugs. The unhappiness. The violence. The _hamburgers _for Frond's sake._

_Maybe you could make it better._

_Oh yeah, make centuries of societal screw ups and international relations, pettier than two boys in a sandbox, just go away? Just hop over to visit my friendly local branches of TB and infant mortality and say: oh, hey there, would you guys mind closing up shop? Yes, that's a brilliant plan, just d'Arvitting brilliant. Like I haven't got enough on my plate simply dealing with the fact that I'm now a different species, unemployed and homeless. Oh Frond, what if I never get to go back to the Haven? I belong with my people. With the People. And my magic and my wings. _Holly chokes on a sob. _I_'_ll never fly again._

_But you'll live under the sky for the rest of your life._

_It isn't worth it._

_Are you sure? It's beautiful here. You're strong, you'll learn to live with it._

_I don't want to be strong. I'm sick of being strong. I'm too scared to be strong._

_Which is ironic when, if I recall correctly, someone recently offered to, and I quote, 'take care of you'? Why don't you let him? You want to._

_Absolutely not. This Artemis we're talking about. He's 15. He's a liar and thief._

_Exactly: a useful guy to have around. _

_He would also lie to me, steal from me._ _Again._

_We've been over this lying thing. It was for Angeline. You, yourself, said you might have done the same. _

_He made me believe I killed people!_

_  
He was a worried teenage boy who saw a chance to save his mother. _

_Stop making excuses for him. Why are you defending him, anyway? You're me. This whole thing is ridiculous._

_I'm your better half, obviously. Look girl, you say you're tired, you've got too much on your plate. Why not let someone else worry about the petty things? Besides, he wouldn't even be worrying. After all, he's definitely got the money._

_No._

_What's so wrong with letting someone else take care of you?_

_No. I said it before; my pride is all I have left. I will not lose it too._

_There's nothing shameful in being loved._

_We're not talking about love._

_.... right._

Holly curls herself up tighter, feeling the ridges of his spine lock into hers like the gears of some strange, delicate clock. The steady beat of his heart counts out the seconds, the minutes, the hours of her new life.

* * *

Artemis keeps his breathing calm as Butler covers them up, and contemplates the backs of his eyelids.

He had been hoping for tranquility, for blessed darkness. Instead his eyelids have betrayed him, becoming projector screens. Noise and light bloom across them, garish and blinding.

'_Stop where you are, Holly.'_

Artemis can still feel the gun pressing against his throat, can still feel Butler's eyes drilling into the back of his head thinking: _Artemis... I told you to stay in the car. Artemis, why don't you ever listen? Artemis, how the hell am I going to get you out of this one?_

_Holly froze. 'Opal... ok. Ok. Look, I've stopped, I'm not going anywhere,' she raised her hands, palms empty. _

_Trouble and his retrieval squad continued to close in around them._

'_I want all of you to stop.' Opal made the gun click ominously._

_Artemis took several calming breaths. Butler was here, Holly was here. He was in no danger. _Oh Frond, I am going to die, _he thought. _No. Out of the question. I am Artemis Fowl the Second. This is not the first time we have fought Opal. I didn't die before, and I won't die now.

'_Trouble, cut it out!' Holly's voice was a little wild. 'Stop!'_

_Trouble raised his visor. Artemis couldn't see his face but he could see Holly's become desperate. The squad members muttered, inching forward._

'_I said stop!' Holly nearly screamed, her eyes wide. They stopped._

'_Atta girl,' Opal giggled. 'You're just so terribly easy to play with, Holly. Honestly, it's nearly boring.'_

'_Go d'Arvit yourself, Opal.'_

'_Is that anyway to talk to an unstable pixie holding a gun to your little boy's neck?' Opal nodded towards Artemis. 'Really now, Holly,' she smiled a nasty little smile with her rosebud mouth. In that instant Artemis was sure he had never hated anyone the way he hated Opal Koboi._

_Holly edged forward, palms still raised. 'Sure. Fine. Whatever you want. Just put the gun down, ok?' _

'_And just how close do you think I'm going to let you get before I shoot him?' Opal asked, her voice light, casual. A 'would you like sugar with your tea?' voice. _

_Artemis tried to be patient, to wait for a distraction. But the gun was digging into his flesh and he was having trouble concentrating._

_Holly stopped, only a few feet away. Opal smiled again. 'Oh no, come closer. I want him to be able to see your eyes.'_

'_What?' Holly frowned, coming closer nonetheless._

Oh no,_ thought Artemis. 'Holly, don't! Get back, it's a-'_

_The gun went off. Never meant for him at all, it pierced Holly through the heart._

_Artemis was sure the whole world shuddered then. The ground bucked, throwing him forward, sending his stomach slamming into his spine. The sense of déjà vu was strong, it reeked of gas and formaldehyde, stinging his skin, making him taste bile._

'_Holly!' He didn't recognise his own voice over Trouble's shouting and Opal's hysterical giggling. It was a terrible voice, high and raw, sharp like rusted metal. 'Holly!'_

_He found himself on his knees beside her, Butler somehow there with him. The giant man fumbled for a pulse on her tiny throat. Everything seemed to be wet and Artemis tasted salt on his lips. However- 'Butler, there's no blood. There's no wound.' He swiped at the liquid on his face. Tears. Only tears. _

'_There won't be,' Opal cackled, straining against the cuffs Lieutenant Coil had slapped on her. 'Don't get so worked up, Mud Boy, she isn't dead. It's something worse. And it's all your fault!' she finished gleefully._

'_What on earth are you talking about?' Trouble asked, warm eyes furious._

_Opal looked up at him coquettishly through her eyelashes. 'I'm talking about humanity. Hers, to be precise.'_

'_Hu-' Trouble gaped. Everyone froze. _It would nearly be funny_, thought Artemis, _if it wasn't so horrifying_._

'_That's not possible,' Trouble spoke into a vacuum of silence._

'_When have possibilities ever stopped me?' Opal smirked as she was hauled away. 'Take good care of her now, Mud Boy. I'm sure she'll appreciate it.'_

_In the wake of her laughter, Artemis looked down at Holly, at her chest barely rising. Her face was peaceful, utterly unaware. She would hate it. More than anything. Artemis had to admit Opal had chosen her revenge well. This was the worst she could ever have done. _

_He tried to ignore the very small part of him that was smirking in triumph._

* * *

Holly wakes up the next morning wondering why her limbs are so sore. She uncurls herself from the ball she's slept in and discovers it's because she is freezing. Artemis has stolen all the duvet. 'Once a thief, always a thief,' she mutters to herself. And then the thought: _Wait, why am I in bed with Artemis?_

Blinking owlishly at her unfamiliar surroundings, she watches sunlight filter through the window. And everything comes back to her.

Oh yes. Human.

Holly digs her fingers into her hair and makes a wordless noise of grief.

When she calms down enough to look up again, the morning light is seeping across the floor, warming her skin as she rocks to and fro. It smoothes her hair and strokes her arms until she can no longer ignore it. Holly goes to the window, putting her fingers to the cool glass.

The world outside is all delicate greens and blues and violets. She can see the dew still glittering on the grass. Everything looks as though it is made of coloured glass. She wants, more than anything, to feel pain, anger, something extreme and passionate, but all she feels is tranquility. She forgets about her longer limbs, her transfigured DNA, her fear, and just lets herself drift, peaceful as the dust motes hanging illuminated in the shafts of light.

'It's very pretty, isn't it?' Artemis has crept up on her again. She puts a hand to her shuddering heart.

'Don't _do _that,' she chides.

'Sorry,' he shrugs.

'Right,' she rolls her eyes. 'But yes... it is beautiful.'

He nods, but doesn't bother wasting any more words on what they can appreciate better in silence. That is something about him that, Holly has to admit, she has always liked. Even in the middle of a crisis, he can and will appreciate beauty. Even though she would also be the first to say that there is a time and a place for aesthetic appreciation, and that Artemis doesn't always realise when and where that is. But at least he appreciates it.

'Would it be so bad,' Artemis continues after a while, 'to live here?'

Holly sighs, leaning her forehead on the window pane. She had known this was coming. She wouldn't be surprised to find out that Artemis had arranged for this to be a particularly pretty morning beforehand.

'Artemis... here isn't the problem, it's me that needs sorting out. I need space. My own space.'

'We've got plenty of space. You could have a whole wing.'

'That's not what I meant.'

'I know,' he sighs.

'Why are you pushing this so hard, anyway? Since when do you want me around so badly? It's very forward of you.'

Artemis looks at her, silent. Holly thinks of their landing on Hybras, when he had called to her; when he had eaten up the sight of her as though it was a tangible thing, manna to keep him alive. Artemis thinks of Hyrbas as well, only later; when she was lying still on the ground, eyes wide and staring and empty.

'I thought you were dead. Again.' His voice quivers and he frowns. Holly remembers, always a shock, just how young he truly is.

She feels the need to apologise but doesn't know how or why. Instead she snorts, trying to brush off the intimacy of the moment, trying to get back to their usual banter, to where she is comfortable. 'It'd take more than some psycho pixie with a fancy pedicure to kill me. Honestly Artemis, have a little faith.'

The boy smirks and graciously allows her to change the subject. He knows he wants her to stay. He knows she should stay. He knows he never wants to let her out his sight again. And he knows that there is absolutely no way he can tell her that.

'You're awake,' Butler arrives in the doorway, carrying a breakfast tray. 'I didn't expect you to be up so early. I'll go get more breakfast.'

'Don't bother, I need to speak to Mother, I'll get my own,' Artemis makes a vain attempt to straighten his hair, 'I also need to change.' He frowns then, looking over at Holly. 'You'll need clothes. Perhaps we can go into town after breakfast. Mother will enjoy that.'

'Artemis,' Holly crosses her arms over her chest, 'this falls into the same category as living here. I don't need charity, I-'

'You're wearing one of my mother's old nightgowns. You'll have to stay here at least a few weeks before everything is sorted out. You cannot spend them in my mother's nightgown, for numerous reasons. Not the least of which is my father will probably recognise it and wonder.'

Holly purses her lips.

'It's like you said,' Artemis puts a hand on the doorframe and speaks to the hallway, 'the money was made because of you. You should at least get to enjoy some of it.' He walks out before she can reply.

Butler offers Holly a piece of toast. 'I see things have really improved between you two.'

Holly takes the toast and flops down next to him on the sofa. She leans her head against his arm. 'Butler, what the d'Arvit am I going to do?'

'Well,' Butler butters another piece of toast, 'you're going to get a job and a library card and a gym pass. You're going to buy a nice flat somewhere and grow ferns on your balcony. You're going to live. You're going to be happy.'

'How can you know that?'

'Because you are a happy person, one who will always make the best of what she has. And because Artemis will commit murder to make sure you've got everything you could possibly want. Let's face it, when the two of you join forces, there is very little in the universe that can stand against you.'

'He wants me to live here.'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'You know why.' Butler downs half his toast with one bite. 'He's terrified you'll up and leave him one of these days, either by dying or by simply losing interest. And then what will become of him?'

'He can't do that to me. Keep me locked up. I'm not a pet. Besides, after what he did... he can't expect me to just... to just... He lied to me!'

Butler munches his toast placidly. 'True. He also kidnapped you, but you don't seem quite so fussed about that one.'

'He was different then.'

'He's different now.'

'Well, I forgave him, didn't I? Just that, is more than he deserved.'

'Oh yes, definitely. You've always given him more than he deserves.'

'I have to draw the line somewhere.'

'Do you?'

'Yes.' Holly stares down at her untouched toast, 'I need to protect myself. I need to be whole_._ With Artemis it's too easy for me to get sucked in and become... we just... we get mashed together, until I can't tell what's what or who's who. For heaven's sake, we've started switching body parts! I can't... I can't give that much of myself. That's too much.'

'Sometimes we don't always get a choice about how much we give. We just wake up one morning and discover what we thought we had safely under lock and key has up and vanished. Though, the upside to that is usually we get something equally valuable in return.'

'Usually.'

'In this case, definitely. I'd say it's already sitting on your doorstep begging to be let in.'

'He'll use me. He'll lie to me.'

'Probably. That's the way he is.'

'I can't.'

'Like I said,' Butler finishes his toast, dusting his fingers, 'we don't always get a choice.'

Holly can feel her chin tremble and quickly bites into her toast to hide it.

Butler sighs. He puts an arm around the tiny woman. 'I know it seems meaningless now, but it is going to be alright. Trust me.'

Holly chuckles weakly, 'Better you than your employer.'

Butler smiles. 'I'll get the paper, shall I? You can start in on the property section.'

'Fantastic.'

* * *

'Mother, I have something to tell you.' Artemis sits on edge of his mother's bed, watching her apply mascara.

'Yes, darling?'

'We have a guest,' he fidgets with his cuffs. 'Holly. There was some trouble. We went after Opal, the, ah, pixie who -'

'I know who Opal is, Arty.' Angeline smiles at him from her mirror. 'Is Holly alright?'

'Oh, yes. Well, yes and no. She's,' he fingers his collar, 'human.'

His mother puts the mascara brush down. 'Pardon me?'

'Opal shot her with a, well, it's rather complicated to explain. But the end result is a total... mm... re-expression of Holly's DNA. We share the same genome, you'll be interested to know, so it's not entirely impossible -'

'But she will be cut off from her people! Exiled from her home! Oh the poor girl. How can she possibly be alright? You've told her she is welcome here for as long as she wants, haven't you? I'll have Martha make up a room in the family wing. The poor girl,' she repeats.

'She doesn't want to stay here.' Artemis can't quite keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Angeline raises an eyebrow at his tone. 'Oh?'

'Doesn't want to be a 'leech'. Needs to have her own space.'

'Needs to be in control of something, at least,' Angeline nods. 'Well, that's understandable.'

'It is?'

'Tut, Arty, think. She's a strong woman. She's just had everything taken from her, she feels helpless and useless and frightened. In order to feel worthwhile again, she needs to take charge of something. She needs to prove to herself and the world that she is still capable. Get her confidence back.'

'Oh.' Artemis pulls at the crease in his trouser leg. 'I still fail to see why she can't simply take charge of one of our gardens, or something.'

'Give her time to come to terms with things, darling. Eventually, she may very well wish to live here.'

There is something in his mother's voice that makes Artemis' eyes narrow in suspicion. But she just smiles serenely and begins to brush her hair.

'The real question is: what will we tell your father?'

* * *

'Alright, say 'aw',' Butler taps Holly's lips with the tongue depressor.

She rolls her eyes. 'Awwwwwwwww,' Opening her mouth, she keeps the noise up the entire time Butler pokes around in it.

'Please, you can stop now,' he pulls back. 'I know you think this is pointless but it never hurts to be sure everything is in working order.'

'Yeah...' Holly fiddles with the newspaper she held, 'I just... this makes it real, you know?'

'Yes.' Butler hits her knees lightly, watching her legs twitch in response. 'But, and this sounds harsh, the sooner you come to terms with your situation, the sooner you can start enjoying life again.'

'But I don't _want_ -'

Butler interrupts, giving her a flat stare, unimpressed. 'To what? Be happy? You're not made for depression, Holly, so don't force yourself. You're better than that.'

'I just changed _species_. I've lost my magic, I've lost the right to fly, I'll be exiled from my home, I'll never see my friends again, I have barely anything to my name. Can't you cut me some slack?' Holly puts the paper down with a smack, grabbing at her sudden anger, desperate to feel something other than helplessness.

'No. You don't want to be cut slack. You've never wanted to be cut slack. Yes, all that has happened, but I still believe you to be entirely capable. If I sat around letting you cry into my shoulder and pitying you, that would prove nothing except that you can't handle this. I respect you too much to pity you. Now hold out your left arm, I want to check mobility.'

Dumbfounded, Holly does as she is told.

'Thanks, Butler.' She speaks quietly, sometime later, as, very slowly, warmth takes the places of her fury.

'You're welcome,' he replies, hugging her to him briefly. Holly smiles and sniffs into his stomach.

* * *

'Sorry, we're clo- _Foaly_?' Mulch blinks in surprise. 'What in Frond's name are you doing here?'

'I've got some news.' Foaly stands awkwardly in the doorway.

Mulch sets aside his papers. 'O-okay. Shoot.'

'It's Holly. She... she... something went wrong with Opal...' Foaly fiddles with his fingers, too miserable to continue.

Unfortunately, this leaves Mulch assuming the worst. 'No.' He stands up, the sudden movement sending flurries of paper to the ground. '_No. _She can't be. She's- she's not-'

'She's not dead,' Foaly shakes his head.

'Oh thank Frond.' Mulch sits down again, sending flurries of paper up into the air.

'She's human.'

There is silence. Mulch's jaw drops. Literally. Down the hall, Doodah can be heard singing a Broadway tune. His seems like another world. In the office, between Mulch and Foaly, there is nothing but horror stretching for eternity.

'That's not possible,' whispers Mulch, what feels like years later.

'Neither was escaping a bio bomb,' Foaly replies.

'But... how? I don't understand. Why?' He starts rearranging papers on his desk, moving one pile to another and vice versa, not noticing or caring what goes where.

'Opal wanted revenge. Thought this was the best way to get it. She grabbed Artemis, stuck a gun into his neck, lured Holly in and shot her through the heart.'

'Shot her through the heart,' repeats Mulch.

'Yeah.'

'With what? Some kind of crazy species-ray? I mean come on, what is this, a mud man sci-fi movie? Elves can't just become humans. She just can't.' Mulch swallows audibly.

Foaly doesn't bother answering the questions. As tempting as it is to go into the science of it, even he knows now is not the time.

'She'll hate it.' Mulch shakes his head.

'At least she as friends on the surface to take care of her,' Foaly offers, feeling, for the first time in their long and colourful acquaintance, truly fond of the grubby, hirsute dwarf.

'Oh yeah, she'll just love having to depend on Artemis for help. Her pride'll take that one lying down for sure. Frond, Opal really thought this one out well. Holly'll be miserable and furious and humiliated,' Mulch gestures to one side, then the other. 'He'll be miserable because she's miserable, but also ecstatic because finally here's his chance with her, and then he'll feel guilty for feeling ecstatic. Then _meanwhile,_ she'll guess that he's secretly happy and she'll resent that and finally end up hating him and then, wham-o! The whole thing will just end up one big mess of screaming and bloody noses and broken hearts. I can see it already.'

Foaly frowns. His finger traces little arcs in the air as he tries to follow Mulch's leaps in logic. 'Uh, sure,' he says at last, 'if you say so.'

Mulch sniffs loudly and blows his nose on a random sheet of paperwork. 'Trust me, this is a disaster.'

Foaly reaches out and tentatively pats Mulch on the shoulder. The dwarf sags. 'I'm trying to be melodramatic and clownish here,' he says, 'to lighten the mood. But it's not making me feel any better.' He looks up at Foaly, and the centaur watches his tears as they get caught and lost in the wild hair of his beard. 'I'm going to miss her.'

Foaly nods, but can't think of anything to say that doesn't sound trite. In a rare moment of dignity, he stays silent, one hand on the other fairy's shoulder.

Suddenly Mulch gasps. 'Foaly... they're not going to mind wipe her, are they?'

'I don't know,' comes the miserable reply.


	3. Chapter 3

So here's something a bit more normal to make up for my whacked out drabble. Enjoy! (I swear Artemis gets less lame very soon)

Did I mention how awesome a beta ilex-ferox is?

* * *

Chapter Three: Making A Point

Trouble stalks the hall outside the Council room. His face has taken on hues to make his predecessor proud. An unfortunate sprite laughs too loudly as he and a co-worker pass and, consequently, gets such a dressing down as leaves the be-muscled, rugby-loving retrieval captain closer to tears than he's ever been. Including that time his pet cockroach drowned in the bubble bath bottle...

Foaly approaches the seething elf with caution. 'Err, Trouble?'

'What?' snaps Kelp without looking up from the floor. 'Oh, it's you, Foaly. Sorry, I...'

'It's okay,' the centaur replies quickly, backing up a step. Trouble gives him a rueful smile and Foaly steps forward again. 'What have they decided?' he asks.

The Commander sits down on one of the benches lining the walls. 'They came _this_ close to having her wiped,' he holds his thumb and forefinger so close together Foaly is sure they're actually touching. The centaur can feel his stomach going into freefall.

'But they didn't?' he asks, voice a little desperate.

'No, they didn't.' He smiles suddenly, 'Not after Vinyáya got up and threw Poole bodily into a bowl of fruit punch, at any rate.'

Foaly blinks. 'She did w_hat_?'

Trouble smiles wryly. 'Sometimes I'm really glad she usually agrees with me. Poole's going to smell like durian fruit for weeks.'

Foaly snickers appreciatively. 'So, what's going on now?'

Trouble shrugs, 'They're discussing whether or not to fund a search for the cure. Mindwiping's a security procedure so I got to stay, but this isn't and they don't want me throwing my weight around in directions they don't want it to go. They're not going to fund anything. They'll probably ban it. They want to make up a retirement cover story, or something stupid like that.'

Foaly's shoulders slump. 'I can't believe I'm going to have to rely on Artemis for lab space. Frond, that chafes. But what about... is she...'

Trouble closes his eyes. 'Exiled? Yes. I have to take back her copy of the Book.' He swallows, 'Foaly, how can I possibly do that to her?'

'She'll understand,' Foaly lies.

Trouble looks at him in amazement. 'It's a betrayal. I feel like scum and I haven't even done it yet. And besides, you saw her last night, she was off her hinges! Who knows how she'll react to this.'

'She's had a day to calm down. She'll understand you're just doing what you have to.'

'How can I expect her to understand, or ever forgive me for that matter, when I can't myself?'

Foaly opens his mouth to speak but closes it without having said anything. What do you say to a question like that?

Silent, they wait there until the Council comes filing out.

* * *

Angeline is oddly nervous as she and Artemis walk to Holly's room. Behind the door at the end of the hall is the woman who restored her sanity, her husband, her life. Who made her son what he is today, who gives her son a reason to be good. She owes this woman much more than she will ever be able to repay.

'Mother has some things for you to wear.' Artemis is all business, not bothering to knock, going straight to his laptop. Completely different from the frustrated young man who had sat on the edge of his mother's bed only minutes before.

Angeline watches as a slight, dark woman uncurls from the sofa. Angeline can understand why her son is so smitten. A good haircut and a bit of eyeliner and you could send this girl onto the catwalk. Angeline catches herself thinking about exotic-looking grandchildren and shakes her head, returning to the present.

'I - I thought perhaps you would rather stay close to the Manor,' she smiles at Holly, 'so, if it's alright with you, I can simply lend you some things from my younger days, just for the time being, of course. I had the most beautiful outfits then and they've been wasting away in the attic for more years then I care to think about. I just couldn't bear to part with them, I knew the minute I did, I'd want them for something. I'll have someone bring them down and Marguerite can do a few alterations, how does that sound?'

'That... er, that'd be wonderful, thank you,' Holly smiles, and Angeline can see that the other woman is even more nervous that she is. 'I really appreciate this.'

Angeline laughs lightly, 'Not at all. Besides, after what you have done for me and my family, it's the least I can do.'

Holly's face goes very still. 'Just what exactly have I done for her and her family, Artemis?' she asks, deceptively calm.

The other woman laughs again. 'I'm afraid I know the whole story. I had Artemis tell me everything after the incident with Ms. Koboi.'

'Artemis...' Holly's voice holds that very familiar undertone of swiftly approaching death.

'It hardly makes a difference, Holly. She's had Opal in her mind, after all. She already knew something was amiss.' Artemis' voice is authoritative but, unconsciously, he has backed further into the corner.

'But _everything?_' Holly nearly wails, feeling a blush rising to her face.

Artemis blinks, comprehension dawning. 'Is _that_ what you're worried about?'

'The fact that yet another human knows about the People is obviously kinda more disturbing but seeing as what's done is done, I'm going for damage control here,' Holly replies caustically.

'Obviously I didn't include _everything_,' Artemis tries to say this with dignity, but is somewhat undermined by the violent blush spreading across his cheeks as well.

'Oh?' asks his mother, 'And just what did you leave out?'

'Nothing!' Holly and Artemis reply in unison.

'Nothing important, at any rate,' Holly amends.

'Utterly insignificant,' Artemis confirms.

Angeline frowns.

'Never mind Mother, it was nothing, really,' Artemis waves his hands dismissively.

'The lady doth protest too much, methinks,' mutters Butler.

Unnoticed by Angeline, Holly gives him a rabbit-punch to the knee. He just chuckles.

* * *

Angeline takes Holly across the manor to her room. Marguerite, a pretty, freckled little thing from Brittany is already waiting for them in the dressing room beside two dusty boxes.

Opening one of the boxes, Angeline brings out several dresses and eyes them speculatively.

'I don't suppose you've just got an old pair of trousers kicking around?' Holly asks.

Angeline chuckles. 'Afraid not. I was vehemently anti-trousers until after Artemis was born. A girl has to live it up while she can. It's a pity I haven't anything left from my teens, I was closer to your size then. Oh well, these will do for the time being. Now, come here and put this one on, and Marguerite will take it in.'

Holly wriggles out of the old nightgown Butler had found for her that first night and pulls the proffered dress over her head. Marguerite winks at her at starts pinning. Her fingers are deft and Holly isn't pricked once. She's impressed.

Angeline, meanwhile, circles, chin in hand. 'A little more on the left, I think, Marguerite. That's good, yes.' She catches Holly watching her and smiles a little sheepishly. 'I know every mother must say this, but I've always wanted a daughter. It's selfish, but I just love dressing people up.'

Holly chuckles. 'It's too bad you didn't have a girl first. I think it would've been good for Artemis to have had an older sister who forced him into her dresses when he was four or five. Just to put the world into perspective a bit.'

Angeline gives a delighted giggle, 'That would have been a sight to see.' But then her expression sobers and she is quiet.

'Angeline? What's wrong?'

'Nothing,' Angeline's mouth quirks upwards, 'just... it would have been good for him to have an older sister for other reasons. To take care of him when... when...'

'Your illness was not your fault.'

'He was a child. And I... I just... a mother is supposed to protect her children. Not the other way around.'

'Most mothers don't have children like Artemis, or husbands that disappear off the Russian Coast. Besides, if you hadn't... if things hadn't been the way they'd been,' Holly doesn't want to say 'if you hadn't gone crazy', 'he never would have kidnapped me and then we never would have met and he would have turned out terribly anyway. So really, you did him a favour,' she smirks, crossing her arms – right into one of Marguerite's pins. 'Ouch!'

'Be careful, Miss,' Marguerite chuckles.

'Thanks for the timely warning,' Holly grins.

The girl smiles back. 'Here's another one – I'm going to pull this off now, arms up!'

Obediently Holly raises her arms, holding very still and feeling like she's a child again.

* * *

Holly sits in the bay window of her room, watching the sun sink into the clouds. Angeline made a concerted effort to keep her day busy with clothes and tea and dainty sandwiches and Holly deeply appreciates this. She has too many things to think about to want to spend any time thinking about them.

But now she is alone, with only herself for company. Now night is coming and, with it, Trouble and the Council's decision. Now seems like a horrible eternity.

She takes a deep breath and leans her head back against the window frame, grimacing at the thought of another interview with Trouble. _No more snapping people's heads off,_ she tells herself. _Butler's right, you've got to get a grip. No more excuses. This is not Trouble's fault. You've got to be nice to him, he's doing all he can. You've got to tack a smile on and stop making him, making everyone, worry. They're doing so much for you already. Be happy. Or at least look it._

She knows she behaved horribly last night, and she's ashamed of herself. _It's just so hard, _she thinks, _one minute I'm okay, everything's under control, and then bam! some tiny thing makes me realise the enormity of what I've lost and it all wells up again and spills out before I have a chance to think. _She shudders to remember the things she said. To Trouble, to Foaly. To Artemis.

Speaking of whom.

Holly sighs. Not now. Artemis is one thing too many. Baby steps. _If only he'd stop being so... so generous. Frond, he's such a jerk he can't even be a jerk when I need him to. _She runs that sentence back through her head and laughs quietly. The sun sets completely and Holly Short, without realising it, stares into the night, smiling.

* * *

Foaly meticulously places half a dozen carrots next to his keyboard, in a line from biggest to smallest. Next he aligns all his monitors, microphones and various doodads at exactly 90 degree angles to each other. Finally, he takes a sip of water from his bottle, licking his dry lips as he does so. Indulging his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder helps him to relax.

Very delicately, so as not to disturb anything on his newly rearranged desk, he sits down and types in the Fowl number. He takes a calming breath. He checks his reflection in a monitor to make sure his eyes and nose aren't still red from crying. He runs through his pre-arranged list of carefully carefree wisecracks.

He doesn't want Holly knowing just how much this hurts. He doesn't want anyone knowing. She could barely keep herself together last night as it was, if she thinks he's going through hell, she'll only fret and feel guilty.

And he'll be damned if he causes her any more pain. But Frond, he may never see his best friend face to face again.

* * *

This time Artemis pre-empts Foaly and has the laptop up and running before the centaur calls.

'Not gonna give me any sass about this being a private call, Arty?' Foaly drawls the pet name, knowing just how it gets under Artemis' skin.

'Your theatrics wreak havoc on my software,' replies Artemis placidly.

'Oops, sorry about that,' A carrot appears, seemingly from nowhere, and Foaly makes a point of chewing loudly. 'I always forget how delicate your antiquated mud man technology is.'

Artemis rolls his eyes. 'You're even more insulting than usual today. Someone get their budget slashed lately?' he shoots back.

Foaly cringes involuntarily, 'Don't say things like that! Someone touch some wood!'

Holly raps on the coffee table, which also has the effect of focusing their attention on her. 'Knock it off Foaly,' she says.

'Sorry,' and, as he tosses the carrot top off screen, he actually seems to mean it. 'How are you doing up there? Trouble's going to take some blood samples from you so I can start running a couple of tests.'

'You will be sending me the results, I presume,' Artemis comments.

'Well, since you asked so nicely,' Foaly replies snippily, but he is smiling, 'of course I'm sending you the results. Painful as it is to admit, I'm going to need all the help I can get.'

Artemis nods without commenting.

Holly feels a surge of gratitude shoot through the crushing weight of her utter certainty that they'll fail.

'Sorry I'm late.' Right on cue Trouble comes in from the balcony, taking off his wings as he crosses the floor. 'Council was, well... being the Council.'

Holly sits down beside Artemis on the sofa. She has the feeling she won't want to be standing. 'What did they say?'

Trouble sighs, running a hand through his buzz cut. 'Holly-'

'I'm not allowed back, am I?'

Trouble shakes his head. 'No. D'Arvit, Holly, I'm sorry. I tried-'

'I know,' Holly speaks softly, consolingly. She can see the guilt on his face. 'You did your best, Trubs. It's what I expected after all.'

Trouble does not look at all satisfied with his best. 'Someone'll package up your... your personal effects and they'll be shipped here, to the Manor. I'll make sure I get someone trustworthy. I can at least do that much.'

'As long as it isn't Mulch,' Holly smiles.

Trouble rolls his eyes, 'I'm not a complete moron. No, I'll have someone official do it, Maize or Verbena.'

'Actually, speaking of Mulch, has anyone told him?' Holly asks.

'Yeah,' Foaly replies. 'I saw him this morning. He...ah, he didn't take it so well. I'll have him call soon. And by "have him call soon", I mean he'll probably be coming by in a couple days, as soon as he can sneak aboveground.'

Holly nods, silently biting her lip. Artemis watches her teeth drag and release her skin, until blood wells just below the surface.

Suddenly Holly laughs, 'Wait, you mean you actually spoke to Mulch of your own free will, Foaly?'

The centaur shrugs, a little abashed. 'He's a smelly, uncouth, obnoxious, immoral wastrel, but he does care about you. Come to think of it,' Foaly adds as an afterthought, 'you may be his only redeeming quality.'

Holly smiles, imagining Mulch's outrage at that particular character sketch.

'Reminds me of someone else we know,' mutters Trouble, unheard except by Butler.

'Artemis doesn't smell,' Butler mutters back, as primly as a man of his proportions can.

Trouble raises his eyebrows. 'All mud men smell.'

Butler just rolls his eyes.

Meanwhile, Holly has other questions. 'So, what does this mean exactly? Am I not allowed contact with anyone? Or am I just not allowed back underground? They're not going to wipe me are they?' Her voice wavers then, becoming thin and uneven, like rice paper.

Trouble shakes his head. 'No,' he frowns. At length he admits, 'It was suggested though, by Poole. But Vinyáya threw a fit. Literally. I've never seen her so mad. It was scary, to be honest.'

Holly smiles at the thought. 'And contact?'

Trouble shifts uncomfortably. 'It depends, they really haven't decided yet. I don't know. You know how paranoid they get.'

'Be that as it may,' Foaly interjects, 'it's not exactly like I, for one, am going to listen to them, so don't worry. After all, if you can slip Mud Boy here a fairy communicator without getting caught, I can definitely keep a line open to you. Talk about basic,' Foaly has taken up another carrot and is waving it to underline his point.

Trouble sighs. 'And as your commanding officer, Foaly, I really do not need to hear that.'

'Oops,' says Foaly, as always failing utterly to look penitent.

'What about research on a cure?' asks Holly, 'surely the Council didn't approve that?'

'What do you think?' Trouble's face hardens. 'They want this whole thing hushed up completely. Say you've retired to Machu Picchu or something.'

'Great,' Holly sighs.

'As with the issue of communication, I fail to see how their permission matters,' Artemis puts in. 'I have perfectly adequate lab facilities at my disposal. I can conduct the research above ground, or however you wish, Foaly.'

'If we hook up a live feed maybe,' Foaly gnaws his carrot thoughtfully.

Artemis nods, trying to ignore that little voice urging him not to do anything at all. He has to at least pretend to be trying. He sighs inwardly. Holly deserves more than just pretence. She deserves the real thing, and he knows it. But, as he watches her gnaw her lip again, he recognises, to himself at least, just how fully he does not want her to be cured. He knows this is a terrible thing to want. He knows this is despicable, tantamount to a betrayal, but he can't help himself. He is what he is.

He wonders how long he will have to pretend before she gives up hope. And then he cringes at his own contemptibility.

'Foaly said he wanted some blood samples?' Holly looks at Trouble.

'Oh yeah, oops. I've got the syringes here with me somewhere. Good thing you remembered.' He fumbles in his pockets, his expression distracted. 'Ah! Here we go.'

Holly makes a face as he swabs her arm, tightens the tourniquet and slides the needle home. 'I've always hated needles.'

'Who doesn't?' asks Trouble. 'How much do you want, Foaly?'

'Two vials, just to be sure.'

Holly raises her eyebrows. 'If you slip and break them, I'll still be here; you can always take more blood.'

'I'm just being cautious, okay, Holly? Need I remind you that the last time my paranoia was disregarded goblins nearly –'

'Alright, alright, point taken. Though I still say the tinfoil hat was overdoing it.'

'I ditched the hat didn't I?' Foaly whinnies, indignant.

'Only because you knew Caballine wouldn't go near you if you didn't!'

'Yeah, so?'

Holly opens her mouth to retort but Trouble interrupts, before his courage fails him.

'There's... there's one more thing, Holly,' he looks determinedly at the floor.

Foaly's face falls and he bites his lip.

'What?' asks Holly, innocent and smiling.

'Because you are officially no longer a member of the People,' Trouble's voice catches, 'I have to... I have to take your Book.'

Holly's smile freezes in place.

'No,' her hands fly to her neck, closing around the tiny book 'You can't.'

'I'm so sorry Holly.'

'Trouble please,' she whispers, 'there's no reason to- it's not like I'd ever show it...'

'The Council demanded it.'

'What a pity they didn't demand it of that sprite in Ho Chi Minh City,' Artemis comments.

Trouble glares at him. 'That sprite was still a sprite. Besides, do you think we can keep track of every fairy that slips away? This is different; Holly is actually no longer a member of the First Family. The council knows Holly exists and they know she's human now. It's not the same at all.'

'Why are you defending them?' Holly demands, still clutching her Book.

'I'm not!' Trouble throws up his hands, 'I'm just trying to explain.'

'Trouble, I can't. Please don't make me. Please, Trouble.'

Trouble feels ill. He fights down bile rising in his throat. 'I have to Holly, or someone else'll be sent up here. It's against the law, Holly; you know humans aren't allowed to keep copies of the Book.'

Artemis clears his throat pointedly.

'Well, if we could find all your copies of the Book we'd take them,' Troubles informs him witheringly. 'I'm sorry, Holly, I really am. You have to believe that.' He feels like a traitor. He hates the Council for asking this of him, he hates himself for acquiescing, he even hates Holly for making it difficult. He knows that's ridiculous, but he can't help himself.

Holly can see how unhappy Trouble is and it's that, more than any feeling of duty, or fear of reprisal, that makes her take the necklace off and place it in his hands. 'I know you are. I believe you.' She takes a deep breath, 'I know this isn't your fault. I'm sorry they made you do it.'

Artemis can't believe her. _If I were Trouble, I would have found her a way out. And if I were her, I certainly wouldn't forgive him. _

Trouble had wanted her forgiveness but, now that he has it, he only feels worse. He needs desperately to leave. 'Thank you, Holly. I'd better go. I... I'm sorry.' He lifts a limp hand in farewell and tries not to run as he heads out to the balcony.

'Poor Trouble,' Holly's hand is still closed over the place her Book used to hang. However, she finds that all of last night's anger is gone. In its place there's only sadness, and the feeling of inexpressible loss.

'He's doing his best, he really is, Holly. Foaly has rarely sounded more earnest.

Holly smiles sadly, 'I know.'

She yawns suddenly, and stretches. 'If you guys don't mind, I think I'm going to call it a night. I haven't been sleeping well.'

Foaly nods, 'Sure thing. I'll phone tomorrow about the bank. Good night, Holly.'

''Night.'

He nods to Butler and Artemis and disconnects the line. Artemis, disbelieving, shuts off the computer manually.

'Are you alright?' Butler turns to Holly. 'Want a cup of tea? Midnight snack?'

'Nah,' she shakes her head, 'bad for the digestion. I'm just going to hop right into bed.' She speaks softly, slowly, but steadily.

Butler looks sceptical but is fully prepared to support her attempt at normality.

'Alright, well, good night then.' He leans down and places a fatherly kiss on her dark forehead. 'Sleep well.'

'I will,' she lies.

'Good night Holly,' Artemis tucks the computer under his arm, reconsiders, and holds it out to her. 'Would you like me to leave this here? In case you can't sleep?'

'No, no, take it with you, I'll be fine. Really.' Holly can't see the joys of trawling through human websites. Just another grisly reminder of her new family tree.

Artemis nods. 'Good night then.'

'Good night.'

He lingers a moment longer, before turning abruptly on his heel and leaving with Butler.

Holly heaves a sigh. Silence echoes around her, filling her head, blocking up her ears. For a moment she wants to run after Butler and Artemis and ask them to stay but her pride, to say nothing of her exhaustion, keeps her in her seat.

Minutes pass. Impossibly slowly they become hours, which also, eventually, pass. Holly paces her room. She turns the taps in her bathroom on and off. She inspects the toilet and shakes her head in wonder and disgust. She looks through her closet, so recently filled with the bright clothes of Angeline's youth. But in the dark the colours are only shades of dark and darker. She moves to the bed.

There is a window above her pillow that looks out onto the Manor grounds. She discovers that if she presses her forehead to it and looks way, way down to the ground, it's nearly like being in freefall. It's nearly like flying.

Holly steps back from the glass, rubbing her face. Nearly like flying. Who is she trying to kid? Silently, tears fall at the thought of never flying again. She wipes them away in surprise, she hadn't meant to cry.

Rubbing her eyes, she looks at the clock. 2 am. With a groan she presses her face back against the window.

There's a knock at her door.

'Come in.'

Artemis shuts the door quietly behind him, seemingly unsurprised to find her standing on her bed fully dressed at two in the morning. 'Still awake,' he remarks blandly.

'Give the boy a hand,' comes the acid reply. 'What, you thought you'd just knock on my door for kicks?'

'No, you've been a nocturnal creature for over 80 years. I was relatively sure you wouldn't have been able to readjust in only two nights, despite your earlier false confidence. And I thought perhaps an entire night of solitary insomnia to contemplate your new life might not be quite what you wanted.'

Holly blinks at the uncommon thoughtfulness of the gesture. 'You just couldn't sleep either, could you?' she crosses her arms and frowns.

'Does it matter? I'm here now.'

'Are you just going to try again to con me into staying? Because if that's your plan -'

'I just thought you might want company. I can go, if you'd rather.'

Holly sighs. 'No, no, you're here, you might as well stay.' She gives him a wan smile. 'As usual, you're right; I wasn't looking forward to spending the night with me, myself and I.'

Artemis perches himself delicately on the edge of the bed. 'What were you doing just now when I came in?'

Holly purses her lips, feeling a little silly. 'I was... I had my face pressed to the window. Come over here and try it.'

Artemis removes his shoes and steps up beside her.

'You see? If you just look straight down to the ground it's nearly like you're falling.'

'Which is nearly like flying.'

'Yeah, exactly. Give the boy a hand,' Holly repeats herself listlessly.

'Do you miss it?' His face is impassive, giving away nothing of the sudden flood of ideas spilling into his head.

She sighs. 'Yes. Well, in theory, I guess. I didn't get to fly every day after all. I could've though. I loved it...' she draws a circle in the condensation on the glass. 'I can't really make myself believe I'll never do it again, I keep thinking that it's just that today I don't need to. But, every now and again, it sinks in and... well, that hurts. When that happens, I miss it.'

Artemis nods. It is something he seems to be doing a lot of recently. Too much. He wants to speak, make conversation. Make an excuse to be here. When they worked together there was always something to talk about: the latest near-death experience, what his newest master-plan was, exactly how impractical said plan was. Now, he has nothing to say.

A sudden fear shoots through him. _We never get to hang out. _What if that is because, in truth, they have nothing to say to each other? What if all this is false closeness and they really were just bonded by trauma? But then he remembers her glassy eyes staring up at him as the universe staggered around them. It isn't even relevant anymore, he discovers; however dissimilar they are, or were, they have become so much a part of the other that it wouldn't matter if they sat in silence for the next five decades, just so long as the other was there.

_So then why, _he thinks, _and after all we've been through, _why_ can't I comfort her now? Why am I suddenly mute? What is the point of unfathomable intellect if I can't _think of something to bloody say_?_

Of course he knows perfectly well what the problem is: the problem is that he has many things to say, but doesn't want to say any of them, possibly even less than she wants to hear them. So the words are left hanging between them, growing heavy and waterlogged in the shadowy space between their bodies. They ignore them as best they can, but awareness grows like a mould, continuing until the smell is impossible to ignore.

'Holly...' he begins.

'Let's not,' she puts a hand over his mouth.

'Let's not what? Talk? You don't even know what I'm going to say yet.'

'No, but I could see you thinking just now. And when you think I never want to hear the end result. It always ends up in one of us nearly dying.'

'No one will die, I swear.'

'You say that now.' Holly licks her lips, feeling herself about to acquiesce. _I need to get a backbone, _she thinks. But that is difficult when, very deep down, she really does want to hear what she already knows he will say._ '_Fine,' she sighs at last, 'talk. But I take no responsibility for the consequences.'

Artemis opens his mouth. He'll start off with something safe. 'Please, stay here.'

She raises an eyebrow. 'Did the great Artemis Fowl just say please?'

'Don't mock me.'

'Artemis, we've had this conversation. I am not staying here.'

'How will I know...' he pauses. How to finish this sentence without sounding desperate, paranoid or obsessive?

'How will you know what?'

'I miss you,' he snaps, then frowns. Already, this isn't going to plan.

Holly blinks. 'Artemis, I'm right here.'

'But you're not, are you? It's been so long since we were... how we were... before.'

'What? Sworn enemies?'

'Friends.' He swallows. 'I miss that.'

'Well, you did lie to me.'

'And you did kiss me.'

Holly's eyebrows shoot up at his audacity. 'Oh, this is my fault then, is that what you're saying?'

'No. _No. _And it's not that that was a bad thing-' Artemis screeches to a halt. 'I mean... What I meant to say was...' he pauses, fumbling for words. He is flustered and frustrated, sighing in exasperation as he chafes against his unaccustomed difficulty. 'Holly, I don't know what I mean anymore,' he snaps. 'Things have got out of hand.'

'You shouldn't have lied.'

'I know. If you had any idea how excruciatingly aware I am of that...'

'And I told you, your elf kissing days are over.'

Artemis knows what he is about to say is pushing it, but once you start it's very hard to stop. 'Technically, I wouldn't be kissing an elf any longer.'

Holly doesn't say a word.

'I probably shouldn't have said that,' he allows.

'Since when do you do what you should?' Holly replies, her voice simply resigned, not accusatory.

'I'm sorry, I'll go. I just... I want to say that when I thought... when I thought you'd died again, I realised that I couldn't... that I _couldn't_...' he shrugs, palms raised in a silent gesture of defeat, 'not without you.' He moves away from her, his words too close to the truth for him to be comfortable.

Holly swallows. The sound echoes across the room.

'You're only fifteen,' she says, with a small, self-deprecating laugh. 'Why on earth am I letting you say things like this? Anyone in their right mind would smile and pat you on the shoulder and tell you, "That's nice honey, but why don't you find someone your own age?" Why am I not doing that right now?'

'Because I'm not that kind of fifteen year old. Not to mention that I'm actually sixteen now. Or nineteen, depending on how you look at it.'

'No,' Holly agrees, 'I suppose you're not. And I'm sorry I missed your birthday. Happy belated.'

'Just stay,' there is a pleading note in his voice that he doesn't like but can't control. His ever diminishing rationality says it will probably only further his cause anyway.

'No,' she shakes her head. 'I need to sort myself out. You still lied to me. You still made me believe... Artemis, look: it doesn't matter what I feel, it's going to take time for that to heal. Never mind that it's going to take time for me to get my life sorted out.'

'But what do you feel?' Artemis licks his lips. 'Do you...' His throat becomes suddenly and inexplicably clogged. Try as he might, four letters refuse to leave it.

Holly gives him a wan smile. 'Let's just say, I've never been very strong on common sense, especially when it comes to you. But I'm telling you now, don't push it, Artemis. This is so much more than you deserve.'

'I know.'

'And it's going to take me a lot of time.'

'I'm very patient.'

Holly grimaces, 'Tell me about it. The number of things that would still be secret if you had been just a little more impatient as a child.'

She sobers again, 'The point is, you're going to have to work for this one. I am not going to just roll over,' she grimaces again, 'like I usually do.'

Artemis's mouth twitches. 'Hardly usual. It takes me ages to convince you of anything.'

'Probably because most things you try to convince me of are insane!' Holly retorts.

'Genius and madness walk a very fine line,' he sniffs.

'Don't flatter yourself, Mud Boy.' Holly sits down, leaning against the wall. 'It's getting late,' she comments.

'Yes,' Artemis sinks down beside her. 'Would you like me to go?'

Holly tilts her head to the side, watching him out of the corner of her eye. 'Would you get any sleep if you did?'

'Doubtful,' he admits.

'Me neither.' She tugs a pillow towards them, 'You might as well stay a little longer. You can't do any more harm than you already have.'

'Never say never,' Artemis quips.

'Very true. Especially about you.'

They sit in silence, revelling in the sensation of their sleeves touching while both pretend not to notice. A few minutes became a few more, and then a few more again, right up until the next morning at eight o'clock when Butler knocks, enters, and finds them fast asleep once again curled horizontally and fully clothed across the bed. He smiles and quietly goes down to the gym.


	4. Chapter 4

Cheesiness coming up! Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Four: Work, Labour, Employment

'_But it's midday, I can't go out at midday.' Her voice is urgent and her hands fist in the light fabric of her dress. _

'_Yes, you can,' he says, expression uncharacteristically kind. 'You don't have to worry about that anymore, you know that.'_

_She sighs, 'I do know, but...' she licks her lips, 'I'm scared.'_

_He pauses, unsure how to respond. She isn't the one who gets scared. She is the one who looks down at an encroaching demon army and says 'It'll be fine. We're going to be fine. Really.'. Worried yes, but not scared. He reaches out and, fingers trembling, brushes her cheek._

_Her wide eyes snap to his face, staring at him over his fingers. _

'_I'm being pretty silly, aren't I?' she whispers against his hand._

_His stomach clenches at the feel of her breath against his skin. All he can see are his pale fingers outlined against her dark face. As though the world is only their shadows and light. _

'_No,' he whispers as well. He feels as though he is in a church; as though he were a peasant six hundred years ago entering at last, after months of walking, some great cathedral and falling to his knees in awe below the stained glass and impossible arches. To speak loudly would be profane. _

_She takes a step towards him and he feels his breath hitch, the peasant's gasp of wonder as the doves rise, suddenly disturbed, into the dusty sunlight above the pews._

_Like the doves, she is easily startled. She stops, steps away, shakes her head mutely. Slowly she backs up until she is framed in the open door, her shadow thrown onto the floor, its head at his feet._

'_I can't.'_

'_You'd rather the sun?'_

_She laughs, but it's laced with hysteria. 'It's safer.'_

'_It used to make you sick.' He is aware of his hypocrisy._

'_So did you,' she says, and goes out into the sun._

_Oddly, the thought cheers him._

* * *

At noon, Butler returns to fetch his favourite catatonic duo.

'Rise and shine kids, it's lunch time.'

'Unnnnng,' comes Holly's eloquent rebuttal.

'Seconded,' Artemis mumbles into his pillow.

'Sorry, but I'm afraid it's time for Holly to meet the family. It's about time your father knew what was up, Artemis.'

The boy sits up, looking uncharacteristically rumpled. His hair sticks out at odd angles, his eyes are bleary, his shirt is a disgrace and his trousers are nearly unsalvageable. Butler _tsk_s like a mother hen. 'You look a mess, go take a quick shower before we head for lunch,' he says to the boy.

'Just who, exactly, works for whom here?' gripes Artemis as he slowly works his way off the bed.

Butler just makes a shooing gesture and turns back to Holly, an all together more difficult task. Thus ignored, Artemis slouches back to his own room.

'You know, Holly,' Butler sits down beside her on the bed, 'that's the second time I've come in to find you two sharing a bed.'

Instantly awake, Holly flips onto her back and glares. 'It's not like that and you know it.'

'Oh really?' Butler raises an eyebrow, 'Are you sure?'

'Butler,' Holly bolts upright, 'don't-'

But just what Butler shouldn't do the world will never know as, at that precise moment, he seizes his chance, grabs Holly under the arms, and lifts her bodily off of the bed. Slinging her ignominiously over his shoulder he escorts her, ever the gentleman, to her bathroom and delivers her right into the tub.

'Shower first, refutation later,' he says and points to the taps.

'Underhanded devil,' Holly replies, trying hard not to laugh.

'Only in the mornings,' he smiles, 'We'll wait for you in the hall.'

Truth be told, the shower does her a world of good. There really isn't anything like hot water and soap to make everything seem a little bit more hopeful. And, covering herself in lather as sunlight comes pouring through the high windows, glinting off white porcelain and silver, Holly has to admit that this is one of the best showers she's ever had.

She joins them in the hall, smelling like wildflowers and looking nearly as colourful. Self-coconsciously she pulls at her dress. 'I feel a bit like No. 1 in that muumuu,' she admits.

'Well,' Butler replies truthfully, 'you look much better.'

'That's not saying much,' Holly retorts.

Artemis doesn't express an opinion on the matter. Mostly because he's afraid it would come out sounding something like: 'Holly, you could make Mulch's beard look attractive.' And that will really never do.

The Fowls parents are eating in the solarium, accompanied by a solitary bodyguard. Holly eyes the man with professional consideration. Younger, shorter, and slighter than Butler, he fits solidly into the 'average' range. His hair is thick and dark, how Holly assumes Butler's would be if he let it grow.

She twists her neck to look back at Butler. 'Why's there only one bodyguard for the both of them? Is he a Butler too?'

'Of course he is,' Butler replies. 'My third cousin, actually. He was working in Monte Carlo, but when Juliet left for Mexico, we needed someone for Angeline and Mr. Fowl. They've decided to that with Mr. Fowl's shift into aboveboard enterprise, they don't need quite so many of us hanging around.'

'Huh,' Holly nods thoughtfully.

As the threesome approaches, Artemis Senior looks at Holly from over his tea cup with unconcealed curiousity. 'I didn't realise we were expecting guests,' he says.

'I'm so sorry, darling,' Angeline smiles brightly, 'I utterly forgot to mention it. This is Holly, she, ah, works with Arty.'

Artemis Senior raises a sceptical eyebrow at the young woman. Is she even legal yet? Then again, is Arty? 'You work with my son, do you, Miss, ah- ?'

'Short. Holly Short. And, er, yes, I do.' Holly shrugs mentally, it's true after all.

Artemis Sr. doesn't comment on the aptness of her surname, instead, ever the charmer, stands to pull out a chair for her. 'How lovely. What, pray tell, is your area of expertise? Pardon my saying so, but you don't look nearly old enough to be one of Artemis' usual collaborators.'

'I'm in law enforcement,' Holly smiles beatifically.

Artemis' father blinks. 'Law enforcement?' he repeats, dumbfounded. She smiles up at him, the picture of innocence. Mentally, she's cackling. There's nothing like absolutely mystifying a Fowl to put a smile on Holly's face.

'She's joking, Father,' Artemis replies, hurriedly changing the subject, 'I didn't realise our raspberries were ready yet, how lovely.'

'Oh, they're absolutely delicious,' his mother agrees. 'You must try some, Holly.'

Holly takes the proffered bowl and ignores Artemis Senior's puzzled eyes following her every move.

'_Law_ enforcement?' he repeats to himself, utterly baffled by this latest addition to his family circle.

* * *

So now Holly is lying in the grass as, some distance away, the older Fowls relax with their various newspapers in the shade of a gazebo. She is fully exposed to the sky, shocked at the strength of her audacity, watching the sun make patterns on the back of her eyelids. Maybe, if she doesn't think about anything but the warmth of the sun and the sharp scent of crushed grass, everything will be alright.

Suddenly there is a shadow over her and darkness covers her face, depriving her of her light show. 'Are you Artemis' friend?' asks a voice from above.

Holly cracks one eye open. Two big eyed, button nosed faces are right next to hers.

'Ack!' She scrambles to her feet, still ungraceful in her longer limbs. She curses mentally, _Frond, human hearing is _terrible.

'You needn't be alarmed. I'm Myles and this,' Myles gestures disdainfully, 'is Beckett. We're Artemis' younger brothers.'

Holly relaxes as comprehension dawns. Butler had told her about these two. 'Chip off the old block aren't you, Myles?' she laughs at his frown. 'And don't you two have a nanny or something?'

'Nanny went potty!' Beckett tells her gleefully.

'And you thought you'd take advantage of the situation and beat it?' Holly surmises. To herself she thinks: _Is it bad that I find the normal-sounding kid to be the oddity here?_

Myles purses his lips. 'Beckett, _must _you–'

'Buttafly!' Beckett interrupts joyfully, hurtling down the incline after the delicate white insect.

'Oops!' Holly goes after him, 'be careful, this grass is slippery!'

Right on cue, Beckett's feet slide out from under him and he rolls the remaining inches to level ground.

'Oh d'Arvit!' she rushes forward but trips on her hem and goes tumbling down to join Beckett in a heap at the bottom.

Heaving a hefty sigh, Myles follows them, sedately walking down on two feet.

Beckett hiccups, his lips quivering as he opens them to wail.

'Oh no, no, it's okay kiddo. Shh, shhh,' Holly scoops him up onto her hip as she stands, swaying them both gently back and forth, her eyes nearly as wide as his at the thought of a crying child. Childcare is really not her forte.

Beckett moans piteously.

'Oh stop, you didn't break anything,' Myles tells him contemptuously, eyeing his brother's position enviously. 'If I pretend to hurt myself, will you carry me too?'

'Not pretennin!' Beckett returns indignantly.

'Chip off the old block in more ways than just the obnoxiously large vocabulary,' Holly mutters, rolling her eyes. 'Don't bother faking it. Here, jump on my back. It'll be good exercise for me, if nothing else.'

Artemis Senior is pouring tea for his wife when an odd silhouette breasts the hill leading down to the flower gardens. The Butlers, hanging about, tense as one buts as the shape approaches, they pause in confusion. It appears to be-

'Is that Holly?' Angeline asks.

'Oh, for goodness sake,' Artemis rises, 'they've attacked her.'

Artemis Senior watches as his son strides off towards what is now barely discernable as a girl apparently buried beneath his twin sons.

'Who exactly is Holly, if you don't mind me asking?' He turns to his wife, 'Truthfully now, darling. Please.'

'A friend of your son,' Angeline replies innocently.

'Of all my sons, apparently,' he muses. 'I didn't realise Artemis, ah, had any friends of the female gender. Actually, I wasn't aware that Artemis had any friends at all.'

'He has several,' replies Butler, feeling the need to defend his charge.

'Really now?' Artemis Senior muses, watching his son take Myles off Holly's back and gallantly offer to take Beckett as well. He can't hear what she says, but her sceptical look is obvious enough, even from where he sits. Artemis puts Myles on the ground and crosses his arms, clearly insulted. Holly's weight shifts and she leans back, her hip bones jutting aggressively beneath Beckett's legs. Artemis Senior raises his eyebrows, 'They look more like argumentative siblings than friends to me.'

Butler smiles, 'It's good for Artemis to have someone who will talk back to him.'

'I see,' the man continues watching the unfolding drama of the piggy back, 'Just when exactly did she arrive, again? And why?'

Angeline thinks of how best to phrase their vague cover story, 'She arrived about a day ago. But she was utterly jetlagged. She's having some trouble with, ah, her papers, so I offered her a place to stay until things sorted themselves out.'

'Papers? Where's she from?'

'Ah...' Angeline pauses, looking at Butler for help.

'South,' Butler replies.

'How precise,' Artemis Senior raises an eyebrow.

'Well,' Butler returns, unfazed, 'she does work with your son.'

Artemis Senior concedes the point with a nod of his head. 'Interesting colouring she has, though. I wonder what her ancestry is.'

'Well, I'm sure you'll be very polite, however, and refrain from poking about in the poor girl's business. Won't you, Timmy?' his wife asks, mild as milk.

'Of course, darling,' he agrees brightly, looking vaguely miffed.

* * *

Time passes strangely over the next week. There are moments when everything seems to have come to a standstill and Holly closes her eyes, begging for the hour to be over. And for the next and the next and the next, until enough have gone by that her eyes will close of their own accord and she will fall into blessed unconsciousness.

Then there are others when she looks back over the day and wonders how on earth all that fitted into what seemed only a few minutes. She loses track of whole days, they vanish into the hazy grey of heartache, while seconds last for eternity, clear cut and bright, like insects caught in amber.

Slowly, in stops and starts, she begins to acclimatise. Flushing the toilet, for example, which at first she simply didn't think of and then, once she did, refused to do, she now does with no more than a momentary grimace.

Other things, however, she has yet to come to terms with.

'Frond, Butler, what's that smell?' She covers her nose with her hand. 'It reeks.'

Butler sniffs the air. 'It's lamb,' he tells her, 'with rosemary and garlic, from what I can tell. That'll be Pierre starting dinner.'

Holly stares at him, horrified. '_Lamb?_' she repeats.

'You know, baby sheep.'

'Yes, I realise. You people eat _baby sheep?_' her faces takes on such a look of revulsion that even Butler, who loves lamb, feels vaguely queasy.

'Holly, I'm sorry, but humans eat meat.'

'I'll be right back,' she says, running from the room.

Butler frowns, and follows. He finds her throwing up into a toilet down the hall. He stands in the doorway, helpless.

'Holly... I'm sorry. I didn't realise it would affect you so badly. I shouldn't have been so flippant.' He wets a cloth and hands it to her.

'I can't,' she says.

'You don't have to, there are lots of vegetarians in the world.'

'No, I mean, I can't do this,' she gestures to the world at large, '_be _this. Baby sheep!' she repeats a little wildly.

'We don't always eat cute things, you know.'

'I know, sometimes you eat endangered ones, or gentle ones, or, or...' she looks around helplessly, trying to find some way of illustrating her point. 'We can talk to them you know. You can't eat someone you talk to.'

'I... didn't realise.'

'You people never do,' Holly slumps over the toilet bowl.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean that,' she says a moment later.

'Yes, you did.'

'Well... yes, I did. But I know it isn't your fault. I don't mean to take this out on you.'

'Let's get you some water,' Butler suggests instead of responding, helping her to her feet.

Holly tries to look grateful, and not think about how even the water tastes dirty up here.

That night, dinner is not the happiest of events. Holly, as the guests, sits at Artemis Senior's right hand, across from Angeline and beside Artemis. Artemis Senior carves. He offers the first piece to Holly. On Artemis' other side, Butler winces.

Holly's eyes go wide and her face pales. It's all she can do to keep from throwing up then and there. 'I'm afraid I don't eat meat,' she manages.

Not for the first time, the head of the Fowl family looks at her in wonder. 'Oh come now, everyone needs a bit of protein in their diet. Pierre makes the finest lamb outside Greece. Just give it a little try.' He smiles encouragingly, 'After all, when in Rome...'

Holly sits frozen, wanting to be polite but too horrified to speak. Artemis Senior moves the lamb towards her, still smiling.

Suddenly, his son snatches Holly's plate out from under her. 'She doesn't eat meat, Father,' Artemis reiterates.

'Nonsense son, put the girl's plate down and let's not make a drama out of this.'

'Timmy,' Angeline speaks softly, 'let it go.'

Holly swallows. She feels humiliated and sick to her stomach. She wants to cry. She wants to punch Artemis Senior on his aristocratic nose.

The man shrugs, placing the lamb on his wife's plate instead, 'If you insist. It's really a treat though, Miss Short. Maybe next time?'

Holly forgets about politeness for a moment and gives him a look that clearly reads: over my dead body.

Beside her, Artemis winces.

'No meat neither!' pipes up Beckett from down the table. He grins madly and bangs the table with his fork. 'No meat no meat no meat!'

Angeline calmly takes his fork away and serves him some potatoes, leaving him to makes do with his spoon.

Holly looks over at Beckett. He grins at her. She smiles back before thinking.

After dinner Holly escapes as soon as possible to her room and is once again sick in the toilet. She hadn't realised it would affect her so violently. Sure, she's always known humans eat meat and that she finds that repugnant, but she's never actually had to _watch_ anyone eat it before. It had all been just theoretical knowledge and disgust. She clutches her stomach again.

There's a knock at her door.

'Go away, Artemis,' she says.

As expected, he comes in anyway.

'I made you some tea. Well,' he admits, 'I asked Butler to make some tea. It's mint, he says it will help your stomach.' He puts the teapot on the counter and fills the cup with water. 'You might want this first though.'

Holly accepts the water gratefully, gargling and spitting out the first gulp. She pulls a face. 'I always forget how gross vomit tastes.'

Artemis doesn't feel a reply is necessary and, instead, fills her empty cup with tea.

She leans against the toilet, sitting cross legged on the floor, and cradles the cup. 'Thanks for this; just the smell is making me feel better.'

'Not at all.' Artemis pauses. 'I'm sorry about my father. He's very... enthusiastic, sometimes.'

Holly snorts softly at the understatement. Then she pauses, remembering just how far Artemis had gone to save said father. She tries to be a little gentler. 'How are things with your dad, Artemis? Are you guys getting along, after all this time?'

Artemis perches on the counter, dangling his feet. 'Oh yes, we get along very well. We spend much more time together now then we ever did before.'

'He certainly dotes on the twins.'

'Yes, he adores them.' Artemis thinks of himself at that age, and what a different approach his father had taken to parenting.

'It wasn't like that with you, was it?' Holly guesses his thoughts.

'No, it wasn't.' Artemis runs his immaculate fingernails along the porcelain, 'He didn't have as much time for Mother and me, in the old days.'

'But now?'

'Oh, now, yes. He's gone legitimate after all, mostly investing in alternative energy and the like. Endeavours that take his money, not his time. He wants me to be good,' the boy adds as an afterthought.

'What do you mean?'

Artemis purses his lips, thinking back to his father's many speeches. 'He knows I'm a criminal. He knows my morals are flexible at best. He wants me to grow to be a good man, one who doesn't hurt people. He wants me to be honourable and compassionate; to be a hero. Really, he wants me to be you.'

Holly blinks at the unexpected compliment. But Artemis hadn't intended to be complimentary; for once he has simply said what he thought.

'You do do good things, Artemis. You've saved the People who knows how many times. And your Mother? What about her? She'd still be crazy if you hadn't returned that gold to me,' Holly ticks things off on her fingers. 'And me. You've saved me.'

His lips twitch, 'None of those were entirely selfless acts. Especially not the latter.'

Holly blushes a little at his forthrightness and looks down into her cup, unable to help feeling pleased. 'Well, be that as it may, I don't see where your father gets off telling you to be good, when he was hardly a saint himself. You don't need to live up to his expectations, Artemis.'

'The irony here is incredible. You, of all people, to be the one trying so hard to raise my self-esteem.'

'You're an ass, Artemis, and you've done some really despicable things, but I don't think you're a bad person. Well, at least, not any more at any rate. Besides which, if anyone has the right to lecture you, it's me, who's had to deal with the results of your bankrupt morals and not your father, who just lies around getting his white Irish bum saved at inconvenient times. So don't let him make you feel bad. That's my job.'

Artemis laughs. Holly grins up at him from the floor.

'He isn't a bad person though, Holly, really. Please don't hate him.'

She sighs. 'I don't hate him, Artemis, I just think he's a hypocrite. Though I'm sure I'd've been nicer about what I just said if my feelings hadn't just gotten a bit bruised tonight.'

'I'm sorry about that. I'll talk to him. I didn't realise it would affect you so strongly.'

'Neither did I,' she sips her tea quietly. 'By the way, Artemis, is there a gym or something here? I really want to blow off some steam, if you know what I mean.'

Artemis tries to hide his smile, thankful that for once, at least, she isn't choosing to blow off her steam on him. 'Of course, it's on the ground floor. I'll show you.'

* * *

'Holly,' Artemis speaks suddenly, 'can you still speak Gnommish?'

'Great Mother of Frond!' Holly is losing count of the number of times Artemis has snuck up on her in the past few days. '_Don't _sneak up on me when I'm punching things, Artemis, I might punch you. And it's a good thing I'm not armed or you could've had a Neutrino blast through your nasal cavity.' She wipes sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, making her hair stick up in tufts. She is wearing one of Artemis' undershirts and a pair of shorts they had found buried at the back of his closet (At Holly's sceptical look, he had explained that his father had once cherished a dream of his taking up football. A dream that had, obviously, never materialised, though the shorts lived on).

The cotton shirt is stuck to her back, sweat molding it to the lines of her shoulder blades and the knobs of her spine. She pulls at it, trying to cool herself off. 'What was your question again?

'What? Oh,' Artemis tears his eyes away from her spine, flushing slightly, 'can you still speak Gnommish?'

'Of course I can,' Holly looks puzzled. 'I think in it. Why?'

'I've been wondering about it as, clearly, we've been communicating in English, but technically the only language you will ever have studied is Gnommish. Unless the People don't take grammar courses as children, in which case, you are extremely fortunate. Anyway, I knew you couldn't have lost the entirety of your linguistic capacities since you still spoke English, but I'm curious to know the extent to which you have retained them.' Artemis looks thoughtful. 'What about Italian?'

'What about what about Italian?'

'Can you speak it?'

'_Si, ragazzo mio_,' recognising that it would be a while before Artemis lets her get back to her punch bag, Holly begins to stretch, to keep her muscles from seizing.

'Japanese?'

'日本語を話すことができます.'

'Slovenian?'

'Zelim dve zelene shchipauke.'

'Hindi?'

'Yes, clearly I speak-' her eyes widen and she pauses halfway to her toes. 'That was English.'

'Did you mean to speak Hindi?'

'Yes.'

Artemis purses his lips. 'Did you ever speak Hindi as an elf?'

'Eh...' Holly thinks back. 'No, I don't think so.'

'French? Did you speak French before?'

'Oui, je le parlais. En fait, j'ai passé une année à Disneyworld Paris pendant mon entrainement.'

'Really? I never knew.'

Holly shrugs, 'It never came up.'

'Alright, what about Vietnamese, did you ever speak that?'

A moment's consideration. 'No.'

'Can you now?'

She bites her lip. 'Hello, my – no, that's English again.' She straightens, crossing her arms. 'Artemis, a) what does this mean and b) what made you think of it _now_?'

Artemis clears his throat professorially, 'Well, I believe that as a consequence of losing your magic you may have lost those languages which you never used as an elf but that you have retained all those which you've actually spoken. After all, a language is a language: once utilised it would be imprinted in the brain.

'As to what brought it to mind, my father obviously doesn't believe you're in law enforcement, nor should he as, considering your new age, it's utterly impossible. I thought perhaps we could pass you off as an interpreter. Vaguely more probable.'

'Oh.' Holly digests this. 'You've put some thought into this, haven't you? That's... actually a really good idea. Both of them.'

'Of course they are, they're mine.'

'Oh, go jump in a lake, Arty,' she rolls her eyes, trying to keep herself from laughing.

He just smiles, quietly watching the light slide over her face as she fights down her smile.

'Will you miss them?' he asks, tentative, not wanting to damage her fragile good humour.

'Ah,' she sighs, 'yes, I will. But, let's face it, if I didn't use them in my first eighty years, I doubt I'll use them in my last. If I even get that many. It's like... mental spring cleaning, or something.'

'You're taking this very well,' he remarks.

'There's only so much you can lose, before loss kinda starts to lose its value. This is just one more thing. And what's the point? I have bigger things to worry about.'

'I'm sure you would be able to learn languages very quickly, in any case. Should you want to.'

She gives him an appreciative smile. 'Thanks, Arty. Now, would you let me get back to my practice?'

'I was actually going to ask if you wanted the password to the armoury.'

Holly freezes. 'You have an _armoury_?

'Well, Butler can hardly sleep with all his guns under his bed, there wouldn't be enough space.'

'Ugh, they're not all those terrible barbarian guns are they? Have you guys got anything non-lethal? I don't shoot bullets.'

Artemis leads her down a side corridor. 'I have no idea. We have got a collection of old LEP handguns but Butler really does keep those, well, not under his bed per se, but they are all over in the Manor.'

Holly shrugs, 'Nah, I'm lazy, let's see what you've got down here.'

An hour later, Holly's latest least favourite Fowl enters the gym's visitor's gallery in search of Butler. Instead, he finds a diminutive redhead working through a series of patterns, brandishing two wicked looking knives. Had he not been hospitalised in Northern Europe at the time, Artemis Senior would have been able to place the knives as one of the gifts Juliet received for her eighteenth birthday. As it is, he just blinks in amazement.

'Maybe she really is in law enforcement,' he says out loud.

'Actually, she's a pilot,' says Butler, coming up behind his employer.

'Ah! Butler, I was looking for you.' Artemis Senior turns an inquisitive eye on Holly, 'Pilot, you say?'

'Yes. She's very good. One of the best. We also use her as an interpreter from time to time,' Butler and Artemis have just put the finishing touches to Holly's employment record with the Fowls.

'She speaks more languages than my son?'

'Oh yes,' Butler smiles.

'Impressive. How old is she again?'

Butler shrugs, 'I've never asked. You know how women can get about their age.'

'She can't be older than Artemis,' the other man muses, 'but she seems... different. She carries herself like someone older. And she walks like someone trained in, well, law enforcement. Have you noticed?'

'Of course. I believe she did go through some kind of combat training at one point in her life.'

Artemis Senior shakes his head. 'Where does my son _find _these people? That associate of his, I'll never forget him, what was his name? Ah yes, Diggence. What a character.'

'Yes, Mr. Diggence is certainly ... unique.'

'Is she any good?' he asks suddenly.

'Holly? At what, precisely?'

Artermis Senior waves his hands vaguely. 'Well, the thing is, I've been meaning to talk to you about finding someone for Artemis. I know you don't consider yourself... suitable anymore. But I can hardly broach the subject with Artemis, he refuses to hear anything about it. And it isn't as though I'm asking you to retire. Goodness knows what would happen to this household if you were to leave us; I don't intend on ever letting you retire. But Artemis does need someone to go with him when he leaves the Manor. I know he is nearly entirely legal these days, but he still seems to get... well, into trouble. And I think it would make everyone feel better, especially you, if we knew he had someone with him. I don't... I'm not trying to offend you.'

'Not at all,' Butler smiles ruefully, 'I've thought the same thing myself, many times. It would make me feel infinitely more comfortable to know he has someone with him when he's away.' He taps his chin thoughtfully, a myriad of possibilities opening up before him. 'You know sir, you may just have something there.'

'So she's good?'

'Well,' Butler replies honestly, 'she's no Butler, but she's quick and a crack shot. And she knows Artemis. They work well together, though it doesn't always show. I could always teach her a few things here and there.'

'Then it's settled!' Artemis Senior starts forward towards the oblivious girl. A recommendation from Butler is more than enough to satisfy him.

'Er, wait a minute, sir. Why don't you let me suggest it to Artemis first? And then I'll talk to Holly. She's... ah... a little bit touchy about accepting work.'

'She's a little bit touchy about more than just that!' the other replies huffily, remembering dinner.

'If I may sir, I wouldn't try to force-feed her meat again. She's never eaten meat in her life. It's a... a religious thing.'

'A religious thing? What is she? Part of some kind of strange cult?'

'No, it's a very old religion. Very few families left, long standing traditions, a particular way of life. Very respectful of the environment, that sort of thing.'

'She's some sort of pagan?'

'No-o,' Butler replies evasively, 'it's nothing you'll ever have heard of. And it's hard to explain. I don't really know too much about it as it is. At any rate, meat is very offensive to them.'

'So, she won't eat meat, but she was trained to fight. I take it she won't kill to protect my son, then?' Artemis Senior smiles, only half-joking.

Butler, however, is serious. 'For Artemis she just might.'

* * *

Still later, up in his room, Artemis fiddles with something on his desk, rearranging wires in meaningless miniscule adjustments. He knows that the project's done, that he's just wasting time. He gives a frustrated sigh and leans back in his chair. A set of wings sits on his desk like the skeleton of some enormous, prehistoric dragonfly.

It's a project he began months ago, but never put too much thought into. Then, suddenly, there was more incentive. He has been working on them obsessively for the past few days, ever since he found her staring down from her window.

_You're going to have to work for this one._

In some ways, that makes it easier. He has never shied away from effort; mental effort, at any rate. Now he can look at this whole mess as a challenge. A riddle to be solved, instead of as simply Holly and himself: the woman he loves and his many fears; of rejection; of her death; of his own inadequacy. Not to mention his uncertainty, his confusion, his inexperience, his desire, his incomprehensible neediness - the list goes on.

Artemis sighs. No, it is infinitely easier to think of it as a game. He will be good, he will be generous, he will be caring and, eventually, she will take him back. At least, if everything goes according to plan.

He checks his watch. 12:45am. She'll still be awake.

But what will she say? It's such an overt gesture. _Why on earth is this worrying me? _wonders Artemis, _there is no possible way in which I can be more obvious than I already have been. For Frond's sake I've nearly begged her to live in the Manor. _And, for the first time since this whole thing began, Artemis wonders at his lack of shame. Somehow, somewhere, he seems to have permanently abandoned his dignity without even noticing.

Biting the bullet, he slings the rig over a shoulder and goes out into the hall. It seems an eternity to her room. _Just think of pulling yourself through the DNA cannons. This can't be any worse. _He begins to walk. His footsteps echo off the polished wood. _Debatable, _he thinks.

She opens the door at his knock. 'And here I was expecting Father Christmas,' she smiles.

'Actually, I have brought you something,' he steps into the room and lays the wings down on the coffee table.

Holly's eyes widen. 'What the d'Arvit are those?'

'I should have thought you'd be able to recognise wings by now, Cap- Holly.'

'But... how? Where under the earth did you get them? They aren't standard LEP issue. Besides which, those wouldn't work, I'm too heavy now.'

'Have a little faith, Holly. First of all, you'll notice the wing span is rather larger on these. Secondly, I've incorporated a moonbelt into the harness. You'll be light as a feather.'

'You made these? For me? In _three days_?'

'No, it's been a pet project of mine for some time now; I've simply had an extra incentive to finish them over the past few days.'

'Don't you want them yourself?'

'What on earth would I do with wings? I'd kill myself.'

'True. Very true,' Holly runs her fingers along the delicate metalwork, a look of disbelief on her face. Then her eyes narrow, 'What would you have done with them once you finished, if I weren't here?'

'Who knows,' Artemis replies. 'They run off a solar battery, so first I would have had to patent that. And then there's the moonbelt technology.'

'Both rightfully Foaly's.'

'Perhaps I would have sold them to a sportswear manufacturer,' Artemis finishes as though she hadn't spoken.

Holly rolls her eyes. 'Well, they're certainly much prettier than LEP issue wings, I'll give you that much.'

'Good aesthetics never hurts sales, I find.'

Holly chuckles.

'Don't you want to try them?' he asks. _Don't you want them?_ is what he thinks to himself. _Don't you want me?_ is what he means.

'I...yes, obviously! Yes!' She grins at him. 'Flying! Oh, Artemis.'

He helps her strap them on, fiddling with the padding and circuitry as an excuse to be near her. They both know she can do it herself, but she doesn't.

'But what if someone sees me?' she asks suddenly.

'What do you mean?'

'Well, I can't shield anymore, what if someone sees me flying?'

'At this hour it's hardly likely and, at other times, what have you got to hide? You're human. So what if you have a fancy toy?'

Holly blinks. 'Oh yeah. Wow... I'm just so used to hiding.'

'I know.' He opens the French windows, 'Go on, I'm as curious as you are.'

'Really, you just needed a guinea pig, didn't you?' She starts the motor and hovers a few feet above the balcony. Familiarising herself to the controls, she floats higher and does a slow somersault. Then she takes off into the night, skimming the ground, weaving between trees, spinning and looping through the gardens. Artemis leans on the railing and watches. But she is gone a long time and eventually he gets cold. Returning inside, he sits down on the sofa, looking at his watch, wondering if perhaps she will simply never come back.

He's asleep by the time she lands on the balcony once more. Her hair is sticking every which way as she unhooks the wings and hangs them over the back of a chair. She closes the windows to keep out the cool night air. In his sleep he's fallen awkwardly onto his side, half lying down, half sitting. He looks so harmless, lying in the watery blue squares of moonlight and crooked black shadows of the windows' leading.

She lifts his legs up onto the sofa and covers him in one of her blankets.

Sitting across from him in one of the armchairs, she leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees, and watches him sleep, still feeling the sting of the wind on her skin. _I'm as bad as he is,_ she thinks, remembering her accusations on waking to find him watching her, the first time. _Isn't it funny though? Of all the things in the world to be scared of, this scrawny human boy terrifies me more than anything. _

_I do want to trust him though. I do. More than anything. But look what happened last time. _

_I want to believe that he cares, but what if he doesn't?_

Shaking her head, Holly smooths back his hair, and goes to bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the wait! Just finished moving continents so I'm a bit frazzled at the moment.

I'm going to run out of ways to say that ilex-ferox is awesome. But that doesn't make it any less true!!

* * *

Chapter Five: Question and Answer

Foaly calls bright and early the next morning.

'Helloooo up there, Sleeping Beauty. Rise and shine, Princess.'

Holly crawls out of bed looking more than a little the worse for the wear. She plops down in front of the laptop Artemis has left in her room, propping her face in her hands. 'What?' she asks.

'Good morning to you too. You should be grateful, I've been up all night working and, now that my shift is finally over, instead of running home to my lovely wife what am I doing? That's right, I'm calling my best friend, because I am just that nice.'

'That's a beautiful story Foaly. You shouldn't have. _Really._'

'Don't worry, baggy eyes, I'll be quick. Your bank account is all set up and your card is in the mail. Isn't it amazing what humans let you do over the internet? I just love the little buggers. But not only that, and this is where you realise how good a friend I am, I have gotten you citizenship!'

Holly blinks. 'Citizenship of what?'

'Of the Kingdom of Antarctica,' Foaly deadpans, 'of the Republic of Ireland obviously, where else? As of 2:37 this morning, Holly Short is officially a citizen of the Emerald Isle and always has been, ever since her birth in South Dublin, 18 years ago.'

'_18_? I'm barely legal! Again! No one's going to believe that.'

'Uh, don't know if you've looked in a mirror lately, but you sure as hell only look barely legal.'

'I do?'

'Mm hmm.'

Holly considers this. 'No wonder Artemis' dad didn't believe I was in law enforcement.'

Foaly chokes. 'You told him you were in _law enforcement_? Are you nuts? Couldn't you think of a better lie? Like: Oh, I'm taking a gap year after high school, or something?'

'I hate lying. Besides, to me, I'm still 84. High school ended decades ago. It never even occurred to me. S'ok though, Angeline told him I work with Artemis so I think he thinks I'm some kind of crazy Mafia king-pin's daughter, or who knows what. We're planning on telling him I'm an interpreter.' She has no idea that that lie has already been spread.

'Mm, Artemis told me about the language thing.'

'Weird, isn't it?'

'Yeah, but compared to the fact that you've switched species, I'm finding it relatively easy to believe.'

Holly chuckles, 'Fair enough.'

Foaly watches her for a second. 'You look a lot better, Holly. That... I'm glad.'

'I _feel_ better. I mean, I still feel... empty sometimes. And it hurts, but, well, things just don't seem quite so hopeless right now.'

'Good.'

'I'm sorry I made you worry so much.'

'I wasn't worried.'

'Foaly, you were lining up your carrots. You only do that when you're worried.'

'Ok, well, maybe a little bit.'

She smiles, putting her hand to the screen. His smiles back, his cheeks stretching under her fingers.

'Your passport should arrive today,' he says eventually.

'Wow, you are efficient. Thanks, Foaly.'

'Any time. You have a good day, alright?'

'And you have a good sleep. Say hi to Caballine for me.'

'Will do!'

Holly flicks off the computer, smiling at her reflection in the blackened screen.

'That was nice of Foaly,' Artemis comments from the couch.

She sits backwards on her chair to face him. 'He loves doing stuff like that. Makes him feel devious.'

Artemis rubs his neck as he sits up. 'Thank you for the blanket.'

'Thank you for the wings.'

The light is entirely different now. Instead of the cold underwater film of moonlight that left him looking like a sylph, the morning sunlight brings out the faint colours of his pale skin until he looks nearly human. With a growing sense of contentment, Holly watches him yawn and stretch and finger comb his hair. She will never tell him but, in that moment, she is as happy as she has ever been. There's something about being able to watch people you care for do simple, everyday things that brings such inexplicable pleasure. Maybe it's gratitude - knowing that those simple, everyday things are actually the rarest of all.

'How does your back feel?' she asks at length.

'As though I slept on a couch of miniscule proportions,' comes the grumpy reply.

'Wonder why? Go lie on the bed, Artemis; I'll find us some tea.'

In mild confusion, Artemis watches her leave. Why on earth she seems so peaceful he has no idea. But he's never been very good at understanding her wild mood swings, so he shrugs to himself and does as she says, stretching out on the magnificently large bed.

He dozes off again, waking with a start to find her sitting next to him, calmly sipping tea and reading.

'How long have I been asleep?'

'Forty minutes or so. Do you want that tea? It might be a bit lukewarm by now.'

'Please.' Lukewarm or not, he needs the caffeine.

'Your mother wants to go into town today,' Holly comments, seemingly casual.

'Ah yes?'

'Mmm, she says I'll need real clothes if I'm determined to live in the real world.'

'And what did you say to that?'

'I asked her if we could wait another day until my bank card arrived.'

'And she said?'

'She laughed at me and told me to get dressed.'

'You'll be doing her a favour, really. My mother adores doing things like this.'

'Things like what?'

'Decorating.'

'You're making me feel like a Christmas tree.'

'You know what that is?'

'Foaly showed me pictures once. What a ridiculous waste. I suppose you guys have a dozen every year here.'

'Not a dozen. Usually just one very large one in the drawing room.'

'Fabulous.' Holly sighs. 'Any excuse to kill things will do, won't it?'

'Actually, our trees are generally still living. Father has them planted on the grounds on New Year's Day.'

'Oh.'

Artemis watches her sip her tea. He knows he should get off the bed and let her get dressed but he can't quite bring himself to do it. Two minutes more, he promises himself.

In the end Angeline comes knocking, wondering where on earth Holly has disappeared to.

'You're not even dressed yet!' she exclaims when Holly opens the door.

'No, sorry, I'll go do that. I just... we...' she gestures helplessly.

'Foaly called,' Artemis supplies. 'We distracted her.' Well, it was mostly true.

'Ah,' Angeline replies, her lips twitching at her son's rumpled clothes, 'of course. Well, stop it, Arty, and go get dressed yourself. I don't suppose you want to come into town as well?'

He doesn't, not really, but the idea of Holly disappearing to who knows where for the entire day is simply impossible. 'Yes, actually, there are a few things I would like to pick up.'

Angeline doesn't question him further. 'Well then, go on! Hurry up! We'll meet you in the hall.'

Artemis hurries away, already fantasizing about the minty taste of his toothpaste.

* * *

They meet in the hall, Butler, Artemis, Holly, Angeline, and Butler Junior, as Holly has taken to thinking of him. She counts at least three guns and two knives on him but is quite sure there's more. Somehow, none of these weapons make her feel any more relaxed about their upcoming excursion.

They pile into Angeline's convertible, the three in the back only somewhat squashed; luckily, Holly and Artemis are small enough to make up for Butler's girth.

'Is he any good?' Holly asks quietly, gesturing with her chin towards their driver.

'Of course,' answers Butler, 'he's a Butler.'

'You have no idea how much it scares me to know there is more than just one of you running around in the world,' Holly says.

Artemis _tsk_s. 'There isn't. Butler is one of a kind. Don't worry.'

Holly nudges Butler. 'Hear that, big man?'

Butler smiles. 'Was,' he says, 'not is.'

Holly lays a hand on his arm.

* * *

After Butler and Butler have thoroughly checked it for booby traps, they take the lift down from the top floor of the car park.

'Doesn't it get tiring?' asks Holly.

'Doesn't what get tiring?' responds Angeline.

'Having to check everything before you go anywhere. Don't you ever just, you know, walk down the pavement? Just go somewhere, without thinking about it.'

'The last time we just went somewhere, I ended up in a cryogenics unit,' Butler reminds her.

'Good point.' Out of the corner of her eye, Holly watches the reaction of Other Butler to this revelation. Not a twitch. _Man, these guys are good,_ thinks Holly.

The lift door bings open and spits them out onto an unusually sunny pavement in central Dublin.

'There are so many people.' Holly backs up, colliding with the mass of Butler.

'And they won't look twice at you,' he lays his hands on her shoulders.

Holly swallows audibly. 'This goes against... against _everything..._ my whole life...'

'Just think, when you leave the Manor, you'll have to live amongst the masses every day,' Artemis comments, utterly casual, as he checks his nails.

Holly takes a deep breath, her lips pursing of their own accord. 'Well then, it's a good thing I don't have a problem with it, isn't it, Artemis?' She begins to walk away.

Butler sighs. 'You don't have to goad her into everything, you know.'

'It's the fastest, surest way of making her do anything,' Artemis replies, unperturbed.

'And isn't going to make her want to stay any more than she does now.'

'I'll deal with that later. Right now she needs to learn to assimilate.'

Butler gives up.

Angeline catches up with Holly, taking her arm in hers. 'Truly, no one will know. You're safe.'

Holly nods but doesn't speak.

'To answer your question,' Angeline continues, to distract her, 'yes, it does get tiring. Days like this are rare, when I can simply walk down the side walk in the sun. And not just because it rains 356 days out of 365 in Ireland. Of course, I've started doing it more and more. As Timmy has given up his old way of life there's been a lot more time for doing everyday things. But I still find it strange, even five, really six now I suppose, years on. Before I couldn't leave the house without a chauffeur, a Butler and a bag carrier trained in jujitsu. We went from point A to point B directly, in a car, no dilly dallying in plain sight. I prefer this I think. Though sometimes I still feel a little scared.'

'Don't worry,' Holly smirks, 'if anyone tries to mug you, I'll break their nose.'

'How very gallant of you. I'm glad all that practice on my son will come in useful.'

'Ehhh,' Holly replies, tugging at her collar.

Angeline giggles.

'Your mother and Holly certainly get along fine,' Butler comments, 'useful, that.'

Artemis arches an eyebrow. 'But not really necessary, as she doesn't intend to live in the Manor.'

'If she likes Angeline, it'd be yet another reason to stay. Besides, it's not like she'll buy a flat in Antarctica. I have a feeling she'll be visiting the Manor often enough.'

'How on earth would you know? She's utterly unstable. It wouldn't surprise me if she decided to move to the Amazon Basin simply to prove her ridiculous point.'

'I doubt it. At least,' Butler reconsiders, 'not unless you do something really unforgivable.'

'Yes, you're very droll. My sides split,' Artemis deadpans.

'I try.'

'You really needn't.'

Butler laughs. He had forgotten how Holly's presence always makes their lives a little brighter. Artemis jokes, Butler laughs, banter flies and everyone can forget, momentarily at least, the surrounding uncertainties. Butler eyes his charge, even the uncertainties she herself causes.

'Besides,' adds Artemis, 'whatever love she has for my mother is certainly negated by how little she likes my father.'

'Ah,' says Butler. 'Maybe with time?'

Artemis gives him a look that speaks volumes.

Up ahead, Angeline has stopped at the main entrance to Powerscourt Centre. 'I was thinking about starting with Matt Doody, he is one of my favourite local designers.' Taking Holly's clueless silence as acquiescence, she continues, 'Gentlemen, we are going to go in. If you care to join us, I take absolutely no responsibility for your ensuing boredom. If you're continuing on, would you care to meet for lunch at, say, one?'

Artemis eyes the store and Butler can see him trying to find a way of justifying following them in. At last he sighs, 'Lunch sounds lovely, Mother.'

'Coward,' Holly chuckles.

'You say that now,' Artemis replies with dignity.

'Make a reservation, would you, darling?' Angeline kisses her son's cheek, 'And call me. See you later!'

Holly watches people stream past her as she and Angeline go from shop to shop, Butler Junior in tow with the bags. It isn't so terribly different from downtown Haven, she thinks to herself. Teenyboppers window shopping, teenygothers hanging out on corners, fiddling with their piercings, mothers with pushchairs, chattering away, uni students in baggy jeans carrying book bags the size of small cars. High heels striding purposefully down pavements, worn out sneakers shuffling along, asking for change. Except for the cars.

Holly wonders how anyone can hear themselves think over the constant growl of motors, how they can find breath to breathe through the clouds of exhaust fumes. True, her human senses don't really pick up on the reek of petrol or the smog of outlying factory chimneys, but she knows they're there from previous experience. And it makes her ill just thinking about it.

Holly's communicator buzzes. She looks down at it and wishes the Council had asked for that back, instead of her Book. She sighs, flipping it open. 'Mm hmm?'

'Is Mother there?'

'Obviously.'

'Where are you now?'

'Eh... we just finished up with Deborah Veale in Kilkenny's. We're on – ah – Naussau Street,' she switches to Gnommish, 'Arty, enough is enough. I can't... I don't want to be rude to your mother but this is getting ridiculous, you have to tell her to stop. I feel so... so... this isn't how I live. All this money... it makes me uncomfortable.'

Artemis laughs. 'Let her enjoy herself, Holly. She doesn't spend more than she ought.'

Holly doesn't say anything about the purchase of a certain lemur. 'I just need a pair of trousers and a shirt. I love shopping as much as the next girl but I'm not a d'Arvitting debutante. I don't need tailor made sweatpants.'

He sighs, 'Alright, alright, put her on. We've booked a table; that will distract her. And, if it makes you feel better, afterwards Butler can take you to look at knives or something.'

'Gee thanks, if I'm really good, will I get a lolly too?' she smirks to hear him exhale sharply through his nose. 'Here's your mum.'

Angeline, looking somewhat confused at the sudden cascade of unknown language next to her, takes the tiny communicator and holds it gingerly to her ear, extending her little finger towards her mouth as she's seen Holly do. 'Hello?' she asks. Her expression clears at the sound of her son's voice. 'Darling! Yes, mm hmm, really? No, no, that's lovely. Of course. Already? Oh well, alright then. Excellent, yes, fifteen minutes. See you then.'

Holly slips the communicator back into her jacket pocket. 'Where are we going for lunch?'

'Arty didn't tell you?'

'I didn't really give him the chance,' Holly admits.

'A restaurant back in Powerscourt, a place called Café Fresh. It's all vegetarian - lots of fusion food - and has been quite well received, actually. Several women from my reading group were there last week, said it was absolutely lovely. If you like vegetables.'

Holly can't wait.

* * *

'This is delicious!' her surprise is evident as she takes her first bite of what she believes may be the world's most massive salad.

Artemis smirks. 'I know it's difficult to believe, but we Neanderthals do know how to cook.'

'It _is _difficult to believe. Though, this could always be the exception that proves the rule.'

'Thank you,' says Butler, 'I'm glad you've enjoyed my meals so much over the years.'

'Butler, you're an exception to so many rules,' Holly waves a forkful of baby spinach at him, 'that you don't even count.'

'Or maybe there simply isn't a rule to be proved at all,' Artemis continues doggedly.

Holly raises her eyebrows. 'Are you saying that there are things in this world that other humans are capable of doing, but that you, Artemis Fowl the Second, are not? Is that what you're saying?'

'I don't follow,' Artemis' brow furrows.

Holly smirks, 'Mulch told me about that sandwich you made him.' She puts the word sandwich in finger quotations.

The boy groans. 'It's harder than it looks, alright?'

Holly laughs until she chokes on a pecan.

* * *

Lunch finished, they return home with what Angeline considers to be far too few, and Holly far too many, bags.

Sitting in the back once more as they speed down the highway, Holly pulls distractedly at her clothes, accidently whacking Artemis in the ribs in the process.

'Would you please stop tugging at your collar, not only is it distracting but you're giving me bruises. What's the matter with it?'

'It feels funny. And it smells ever since we left those stores. It smells like-'

'Mud Man?'

'Exactly.' Holly looks down at her lap, 'I suppose I'd better get used to that. _I _smell like Mud Man now.'

'If it's any consolation, you don't smell any different to me.'

'Yeah, I'm sure you can tell what I smell like when we're speeding along a windy road with the top down.'

Artemis sighs.

Holly shakes her head and lays a hand on his arm, 'Thanks, Arty.'

'It was a foolish thing to say anyway. I have no idea what you smelled like before.'

'Liar, liar...' Holly punches him gently and chuckles.

Angeline and Butler watch this and smile at each other in the rear-view mirror. Even Butler's third cousin lets his lips twitch in the barest hint of a smile.

* * *

Back at the Manor, Artemis Senior prepares himself. His curiosity is killing him. He wants to know just who this Holly character is. He has run a background check on her, but that's only served to make him more curious. Born June 11th, 1990 (as he thought, not even older than his son) in the National Maternity Hospital ("south" in only the loosest of ways, Butler), to parents Coral and Fen Short, whom he assumes to be immigrants because they do not have Irish citizenship. Indeed, they don't appear to have _any _citizenship from what he could find. Apparently, they also left the country soon after she was born as there is no record of her enrolment in the National Education Welfare Board in Ireland, nor was she ever vaccinated. And also, he wonders, why would she have paperwork troubles if she's a native? All in all, the girl is an utter conundrum.

And, conscious that last night did not go favourably, he wants to make it up to her. She is, after all, the only one of his son's friends, apart from Butler, whom he has ever met. He is determined to get to know her, especially if he is going to hire her.

From an upper window he watches the convertible pull up and its passengers, with their many bags, disembark. He goes down to help with carrying things.

'Well, how was it? A successful day?' He kisses Angeline on the forehead, smiling just to see her. He doesn't think he will ever get tired of looking at her.

She laughs then pouts. 'Holly is really quite stubborn about gifts. She doesn't seem to understand that I'm doing this out of an entirely selfish desire to dress her up!'

'Tsk, honestly,' he replies, 'how silly of her! Though, speaking of Miss Short, I have a proposition for you, young lady.' He turns to Holly a moment too late to see her twitch at the civilian title. 'Butler informs me that you are a pilot of a rather high calibre. Unfortunately, Artemis is still working on remodelling our helicopter, but I recently bought the prototype of an electric car and, as most pilots I've met enjoy cars nearly as much as planes, I was wondering if you'd care to join me for a spin? I'd love to see it put through its paces by a professional,' he smiles disarmingly.

There are few things in the world Holly would rather do less, but she smiles and nods. 'That'd be just great.' Luckily only Artemis and Butler pick up on the false note in her voice. 'Just let me put these bags upstairs.'

'Oh, don't worry about that, I'll have someone take them up.'

'Don't be silly, darling,' Angeline interjects, 'Where's the fun in new clothes if you don't get to go through them all as soon as you get home? Just give us twenty minutes then you can go out and play.'

Artemis Senior concedes gracefully.

Safely in her room, Holly flops onto her bed. 'Unnngh,' she groans into her pillow.

Then comes the inevitable knock on her door.

'Come on in,' she calls, rolling her eyes.

To her surprise, Butler enters, not Artemis.

'I forgot to mention this to you last night. Artemis' father saw you practising in the gym and now he's thinking about hiring you.'

'Hiring me? What for?'

'For Artemis. As a bodyguard.'

'But I'm not a Butler,' she says the first thing that comes into her mind. 'Ung, no, wait, I mean, what? Are you serious? A bodyguard? I'd kill him myself before anyone else had the chance to. No, I can't. He's not serious is he? Does Artemis know?'

'Yes, he is and no, he doesn't, not so far as I'm aware. And why not? You know Artemis, perhaps better than anyone. You're good enough, and it wouldn't take me long to make you better. I mean, you'll never be _me,_ but-'

Holly chucks a pillow smack at his smirk.

He catches it a millimetre before it connects and grins at her as he tosses it back. 'Nice try.'

There is another knock at the door and Artemis enters without waiting for a response. 'Butler! Have you told her about our cover story?'

'Ah, no, I was just getting to that. But you go ahead.'

'Cover story?'

'For my father,' Artemis begins.

'Hol- oh, you're all here already,' Angeline arrives in the doorway, hastily shutting the door behind her. 'What are we going to tell your father? He's getting curious, you know how he is.'

'I was just about to explain that.'

'Oh, sorry, dear, please continue.'

'Thank you. Now, my father. Ah...' Artemis collects his thoughts, 'right. Well, having taken into consideration your LEP training and natural aptitudes, Butler and I have told my father that we hire you as a sort of combination pilot-driver-interpreter, when we travel to places where neither of us speak the language. Obviously, he must assume that we've worked together many times, seeing as we've invited you to stay with us, but he shouldn't ask about the jobs, he knows how things are there.'

'I, ah, also told him you've had some sort of combat training... I didn't specify. It could be anything from judo to guerrilla warfare for all he knows. He was watching you go at it with those knives, I had to come up with something,' Butler shrugs at Artemis' raised eyebrows, 'Nice footwork, by the way.'

'Thanks,' Holly blushes a little, 'I haven't worked with knives in ages. We do very little knife-work at the Academy. It's considered to be more a part of wilderness training.'

'What about her parents?' asks Angeline.

'Which reminds me, your passport should have arrived by now,' Artemis interjects.

Holly runs a hand through her hair. 'Why do you all have to be so d'Arvitting inquisitive? Even your little brother sounds like he ate an encyclopaedia.'

Artemis smiles, 'Myles? Yes, he is rather bright.'

'Rather bright,' Holly mimics. 'Yeah, and goblins are only just a little below average.'

'_Anyway,_' Artemis continues, but is interrupted by yet another knock.

'Grand Central Station, how may we help you?' calls Holly.

Artemis Senior enters, seeming surprised at the number of other guests. 'I just came to ask if you were ready?'

'Why not?' Holly asks rhetorically, hopping off the bed. 'See you guys in a bit.'

Angeline, Artemis and Butler watch the other two head off down the hall.

'Here goes nothing,' says Butler.

Mother and son nod silently.

* * *

Holly runs a hand along the sleek side of the car. It is black and low and sparkles in the afternoon sun. Holly is in love.

'It's beautiful,' she says, her appreciation clearly evident.

Her companion smiles, happy to have pleased her. 'Isn't she just?' He tosses her the keys, 'Let's see what she can do.'

Holly catches the key without looking up from the shiny surface of the bonnet. 'Brilliant,' she says.

She takes the driveway sedately enough and Artemis Senior is just about to open fire when they leave the Manor grounds and turn onto the main road. Suddenly they are going seven times their previous speed. The man's eyes widen as the scenery whips past them in an undistinguishable blur.

He's brought her out here to interview her and they both know it. Unfortunately for Artemis Senior, though Holly may look like a pretty wee girl, after her colourful career under Julius and her equally colourful relationship with her passenger's son, she is an adept in the art of avoiding questions, even from someone as wily as himself. She weaves the car in and out of traffic with a skill that, had he not been too busy fearing for his life, he would have found unbelievable and which, more importantly, leaves him incapable of forming coherent sentences.

For her part, Holly doesn't bother trying to make distracting conversation; she simply enjoys the deep satisfaction that comes of doing what she was born to do.

Finally, when the power gauge begins to nosedive towards the red end, she returns them to Fowl Manor. Artemis Senior has no idea where they've been, but is dimly aware that is a miracle they weren't pulled over by the Garda.

Flushed with satisfaction, Holly switches off the engine, handing the keys back to her passenger. 'Thanks for that,' she says, unbuckling her seatbelt. 'It was just what I needed.'

'I... I'm glad you enjoyed yourself,' he stutters. 'Ah, er... b-before you go, I just have a few questions.'

'Oh yes?'

'Yes, I hope you don't mind. I'm a terribly curious person.'

'Like father, like son.'

'Precisely. Which is what I wanted to ask you about. How long have you, ah, worked with my son? If you don't mind my saying so, you two seem quite close for occasional co-workers.'

'Fair enough. I've known him since he was twelve.'

'_Twelve? _What on earth did you have to do with him when he was twelve?'

Holly thinks about this for a moment. 'He kidnapped me. For ransom,' she says at last.

Artemis Senior blinks. On the one hand, her family must have serious money to make her worth kidnapping (and it would be just like a Fowl to pinch rival families' offspring) which would explain the lack of legal documents. On the other, surely his son hadn't been kidnapping people at the age of twelve? That was jumping the gun, even for a Fowl. He decides to give Artemis the benefit of the doubt.

'You're quite the joker, aren't you? Well, don't worry, I'll find out sooner or later.'

Holly just smiles, showing her incisors. Artemis Senior swears he's seen that exact same smile on his son's face. He decides to move on. 'You have quite remarkable eyes, Miss Short. Your mother must be quite beautiful.'

'My mother is dead,' replies Holly. 'But yes, I think she was very beautiful. Thank you.'

'I'm sorry.'

Holly shrugs, 'It was a long time ago.'

'You were raised by your father, then?'

'Oh no, he died before my mother.'

'Oh. What happened to them, if you don't mind my asking?'

'Not at all. My father was killed in action and my mother died of poisoning after she was involved in a waste removal incident.'

'I'm very sorry.' Not how the rich and unknown usually die, he thinks.

Holly smiles, a little sadly, 'Thank you.'

Artemis Senior pauses, silent for a moment. Holly hopes he's thinking that he can't, in all decency, continue after that. _Using my parents' deaths to fend off questions,_ she thinks, _Artemis really must be rubbing off on me, how callous._

Abruptly, he looks her in the eye, 'Miss Short, let me be frank. I don't know who you are and, aside from a birth certificate, you seemingly do not exist. Personal curiosity aside however, I want to know just what my son has gotten himself involved with. If you are going to live in my house, I should like to who it is that I am harbouring.'

'I appreciate your bluntness,' Holly smiles, 'but an invitation from your son does not entitle you to my life story. You, of all people, should be able to understand someone's need for privacy. Artemis knows who and what I am. Isn't that enough for you?'

'My son is a young man, Miss Short, and young men, no matter how intelligent, are all susceptible to the charms of pretty young women.'

Holly looks at the man as though he has grown a second head. 'You don't know your son at all, do you?' she asks, indignant on Artemis' behalf. 'Yes, young men are all, in varying degrees, susceptible to charm. And yes, even Artemis went through a phase like that. For three months, when he was thirteen,' she deadpans. 'He wouldn't jeopardise the safety of his family, not for anyone.' She glares at the man beside her, 'How can you think so little of your own son? If you _knew_-' She stops abruptly.

Artemis Senior blinks, 'If I knew what?'

'Nothing. It's none of your business. But let me just say that your son deserves more of your respect. He, at least, isn't a hypocrite. He knows his own defects. And, back to the original point, even if Artemis is being led astray by his wandering eyes, Butler isn't. And Butler is as good a friend of mine as Artemis is.'

'Yes, he does seem very fond of you,' he speaks quietly, a little taken aback by the ferocity of her verbal slap in the face.

'He is. Because we're friends. And we have been for years. So why don't you take all that excess energy and time you've been putting into looking me up and spend it learning about your son. Frond, no wonder he was so terrible as a child!' With that, and one final glare, she steps out of the car, slamming the door behind her.

Head of the infamous Fowl clan, one-time kingpin of the criminal underworld, controller of countless millions, Artemis Fowl I watches one small woman storm into his manor and, for the first time in a long while, feels ashamed.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the wait guys, real life hit with a resounding _thwack_.

As always, props to ilex-ferox, beta extraordinaire.

* * *

Chapter Six: Unexpected

'_I don't understand,' she tells him. 'You people do such wonderful things, make such incredible inventions, and then you let them all go to waste. Or hide them under things horrible past imagining. Why do you do that? It's like... as though you simply can't stand the idea of fulfilling your own potential.'_

'_You mean the bicycles?' he asks._

'_Yes. Well, that's what made me think of it, at least. But there are other examples, obviously. You, yourself, are a perfect one. Actually, you sort of encapsulate your whole species.'_

'_Our species,' he reminds her, but gently._

'_Our species,' she repeats._

'_I'm... making forays into decency,' he points out. 'So maybe we all will.' Now that we have you, he nearly adds._

'_Now that you have me,' she laughs. Then she sighs. 'Honestly, I feel so small right now. For the first time in my life I feel like I can't change anything. Is this what most humans feel like? No wonder you are all so angry and destructive. It's the only way to make yourself heard. That's... well, that's so sad.'_

_He doesn't know what to say. He has never felt insignificant on the global scale. _

'_I suppose you've never felt that way, have you?'_

'_No,' he admits. He loves it when she reads his mind. _

'_You're very lucky. Don't squander it,' she gives him a lopsided grin, 'like you have in the past.'_

'_Maybe that's why you're here - to make a decent person out of me. That would hardly be an insignificant achievement,' he smirks._

_She blinks, then blushes, laughing it off. 'So humble,' she says. _

'_Would you really do that for me?' she asks later, when they are talking about something else entirely._

'_Do what?'_

'_Be good,' she says._

_He shrugs, trying to play it casual. 'I've been trying, haven't I?' he points out. _

_She nods slowly. 'I suppose you have. I just didn't realise... why.'_

_Because I love you, he wants to say. But, despite everything, that is still too much. He shrugs again, 'You're so violent when I do things you don't approve of.'_

_Her lips twitch, 'Of course, why else?' _

_But, looking at him as she rises to leave, she sees the truth and, unintentionally, she beams._

* * *

Holly yanks open the front doors, entering with such a look of fury that the front hall's occupants all take an unconscious step back, though they are all of them much larger than she is, and two of them are trained fighters.

She makes a beeline for Artemis. The idea of anyone having so loveless a childhood makes her furious. She feels betrayed on his behalf by his father's lack of trust. _For Frond's sake, he has kidnapped me, lied to me, used me in more ways than were possible to count, and _I_ still had complete faith in him, well, nearly. So why doesn't his father? What excuse does he have?_

Artemis leans back as she approaches, recognising the oh-so-familiar signs of moral outrage etched across her face.

'Holly,' he begins, raising his hands defensively. Before he can get any farther, she wraps her arms around him and hugs him so tightly he gasps.

'Everyone deserves to be loved as a child,' she speaks into his chest, 'even you, Artemis. I was so furious I nearly broke his nose. Next time, I'm leaving him in the bloody ocean.'

'He's my father, Holly,' Artemis replies simply.

She looks up at him and he looks down at her, their faces inches apart. They have forgotten their audience. Her jaw is set and she shakes her head, clearly upset. He shrugs. She sighs. He gives her a half smile. With a soft laugh, she reaches up, patting his cheek.

'So smart and yet so incredibly dumb,' she says.

His half smile becomes a whole.

'Wow, things really have changed. Since when do you have a girlfriend, Arty? And she's hot too. What did you do? Brainwash her?'

Instantly, Artemis and Holly break apart.

'_Juliet?_' Holly gapes. Then she realises what she's just said and freezes.

The beauty frowns, flicking her hair over one shoulder. 'How do you know my name?'

Butler steps in to save the day. 'I've gotten a bit soft in my old age, Juliet. Poor Holly's had to listen to goodness only knows how many stories about my little sister.'

'Ri-ight,' Juliet looks less than convinced, but lets it drop. She takes a step closer. 'Holly, is it? You know, now that I get a good look at you, you look pretty familiar. You sure we haven't met before?'

Holly shakes her head vigorously. 'No. I've only ever seen pictures, sorry.'

'Huh,' Juliet shrugs. 'Oh well, serves me right, thinking I was all oh so fantastic with faces.'

'When did you get in?' Holly asks, anxious to change the subject.

'Half an hour ago. I guess Dom must've told you, I wrestle in Mexico.'

'Been there what, five years now? And all of a sudden, she decides to hop on the next flight to Ireland and come back.'

Holly smiles. Juliet may have grown elegant, poised and, if possible, even more drop dead gorgeous, but at least she hadn't lost her exuberance.

'What about you, Holly? How on earth does a girl as pretty as you end up with these two?'

Holly laughs, 'I was abducted by force.'

'I don't doubt it. You must be suffering from some serious Stockholm's to still be around!'

'You have no idea,' Holly deadpans.

Juliet grins, slapping Artemis on the back. 'I like this one. Way better than that what's-her-name, Frenchy- La-French. The one that was visiting when I came back for Christmas last year.'

'Minerva?' Artemis supplies, rolling his eyes.

Juliet snaps her fingers, 'That's the one!'

'I'm sorry to disappoint you Juliet, but Minerva, as with Holly, was never my girlfriend.'

'But she wanted to be,' Juliet waggles her eyebrows.

'You are so juvenile sometimes.'

'Ah, Arty, I've missed you.'

Angeline comes in from the kitchen, arm in arm with her husband. Artemis can feel Holly stiffen beside him.

'Juliet!' Angeline beams, 'What a lovely surprise!'

'Mrs. Fowl! You're looking wonderful!' They kiss each other's cheeks before Juliet wraps her arms around the smaller woman. 'I missed you!'

At length, Angeline settles them all in a drawing room, with tea and cakes a plenty.

'So, tell me Juliet, are you here for long? Why the sudden return?'

Juliet sucks on a grape thoughtfully. 'I'm thinking of finally going to uni. I want to open a, well, school, actually.'

'A school?'

'Yeah... when I was travelling through Mexico there were so many kids... they didn't have anything. And they had no chance of ever, like, getting anywhere because they had no education. So one day, I was thinking about it and thought, well why not start a school in one of the slums? I'd fund it through my wrestling. We could raise good money like that - it's so popular in Mexico and if you make something fashionable and stick a cause behind it, you attract even bigger spenders. If I have enough I want turn to it into a boarding school for the orphans. Especially for girls. Mexico is so macho - these girls have even less of chance than others. It just...it makes me so mad!'

'That's a brilliant idea,' Holly beams. 'You could even train the girls. To fight, I mean.'

'Yeah! Exactly. I mean to. It is sooo important for a girl to know how to defend herself,' Juliet turns to Holly in her excitement.

Artemis, trapped between the two enthusing women, feels decidedly in the way.

'Well, if you need any help, financially speaking,' Artemis Senior offers.

'Thanks Mr. F., but I really want to do this on my own.'

Holly gives Artemis a pointed look which he chooses to ignore.

Juliet laughs, continuing, 'I mean, I'll probably come crawling back after a couple years but, for now, I'm gonna try it my way. Just buy a ticket to my next match.'

'With pleasure,' he replies gallantly.

'Actually,' Butler puts in, 'speaking of fighting, you should take Holly down to the dojo. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.'

'Oh my gosh, you fight?' Juliet's face lights up.

'I'm no Butler,' Holly begins uneasily.

'Artemis,' Juliet interrupts, putting a hand on his shoulder, 'I'm the closest thing you'll ever have to a big sister so, for once, listen to me when I give you advice and marry her. Quick, before she realises what she's getting into.'

Artemis puts his head in his hands.

'Too late for that,' Artemis Senior sighs. 'Apparently she's known him since the tender age of twelve.'

'When he was anything but tender,' Holly rolls her eyes.

'_Tell_ me about. This one time, I'll never forget it - they were _so _hideous - he had me wear these horrible wraparound sunglasses. Like, _hello_ '90s, and I had to go down to the basement to...' Juliet frowns.

Artemis, Butler, Holly and Angeline hold their breath.

'I... I can't quite remember what for, actually,' she finishes, puzzled.

'What on earth did you make her wear sunglasses in the basement for, son?' asks Artemis Senior.

'I haven't the faintest idea. Are you sure you didn't dream that?' Artemis asks.

Juliet purses her lips. 'Now that you mention it...Well, at any rate, I wouldn't put it past you to have done something so horrendous when you were twelve,' she chuckles.

A collectively held breath is released.

* * *

After dinner, Holly sits on her bed, sucking the end of her pen, eyes sliding down the 'for rent' columns of her newspaper.

'Found anything?' Artemis asks from the couch, working hard for neutrality.

'Mm,' she responds, circling something.

He fights the urge to go and peer over her shoulder. He loses. 'But that's a terrible neighbourhood! You can't be serious. Holly-'

One blue eye and one hazel fix on him pointedly.

He goes quietly back to _Alcools_. But peace is short lived as Artemis indulges his hitherto unknown masochistic streak. 'What are you going to do about employment?'

Holly looks at him over the top of the paper, sees that his face is set, and folds it away. 'I am never letting you read in my room again,' she cautions, before sighing, 'Honestly, I don't know yet. I have to make up a CV, which'll be interesting because I can hardly put LEPrecon on it, Ireland or not.'

Artemis chuckles. 'Very true.'

'I'm thinking about actually becoming an interpreter. Or, I don't know, conservation work would be interesting. Or I could rejoin the police. Though,' she pauses thoughtfully, 'I was also thinking of maybe getting into sports car racing.'

'You're not serious?'

She grins, shaking her head. 'Too many exhaust fumes. Too many people.'

'My father is considering hiring you as a bodyguard.'

'Ah, he told you about that did he?'

'You knew?'

'Butler told me.'

'Well?'

'Well what?'

'What do you mean 'well what'? You know perfectly well "what".'

'You sure you trust me? You never know, one smart remark too many and oops! you're dead in a ditch somewhere. No Butler to save you from me.'

'Holly.'

'I said I needed space and I meant it.'

'It wouldn't be constant, like it was with Butler. Only when I'm away from the Manor.'

'I don't know. Maybe. I don't have Butler's poker face, either.'

'We can work on that,' Artemis presses.

'We'll see. Maybe,' she repeats.

Artemis suppresses a groan of frustration and returns to his poetry.

Holly stares into space for a moment before shaking herself and taking up her newspaper again.

* * *

That night, at one in the morning, just before she explodes with curiosity, Juliet sneaks after Holly to the kitchen.

'Hey,' the blonde slides up to sit on the counter as Holly chops up carrot sticks.

'Hi.'

'I was wondering if you'd like to do a bit of sparring with me. I'm bored.'

'...Right now?' Holly blinks, her eyes clicking to the clock.

'If you're up for it,' Juliet grins.

'Just let me put these in some water.'

The two women slip down to the dojo, whispering and giggling, feeling like school girls out of bed past lights out and revelling in it.

They do laps of the gym, stretching and chatting. Holly knows she is out of her depth, but then again, very, very few people wouldn't be.

'I just hope you're not disappointed,' Holly says as they face each other, beginning to circle.

'If Dom thinks you're good, you're good. Obviously, you're not a Butler, but I've been wrestling for so long it'll be a relief just to have a bit of variety.'

Holly smiles; she remembers how fond of Juliet she'd been.

She doesn't let Juliet down. Though the taller woman is unarguably better, Holly is still good enough to make her work. And, thinks Juliet, she's wonderfully unpredictable.

As they are winding down, there comes a discreet 'ahem'. Their heads snap to the outer door.

If calculated by hair mass versus body mass, what is standing in the doorway could, arguably, be the world's hairiest living creature.

Mulch Diggums has always had impeccable timing, after all.

'Mulch,' says Juliet, then frowns, not knowing where the name came from.

'Hey Stinker,' Mulch winks, 'I thought you were supposed to have forgotten all about me.'

'Only in my dreams, unfortunately,' Juliet shoots back. She frowns again. _What? _Things begin shuffling in her brain, memories realign themselves, thoughts re-emerge.

'Mulch,' she says again. She turns to Holly. 'Holly.'

'That's me.'

'Holy shit,' says Juliet. She sits down abruptly, eyes wide, darting between Holly and Mulch. 'What's going on? I... I know you two. I can see... I ... I don't understand.'

Mulch and Holly eye each other nervously. _Way to go, _Holly mouths at him. He shrugs. Holly makes a snap decision.

'It's all true, what you're seeing. We wiped your mind to make you forget, but Mulch must have triggered your memory-recall. I didn't realise his smell was quite so potent.' Holly revels in a sudden sense of freedom. Of being truthful. She hates lying and hiding herself, it goes against her nature.

Mulch, meanwhile, looks less than pleased at her reference to himself.

'Oh. My. _God,_' Juliet says from the floor. 'Holly. _Holly_! I remember... Jesus! What are you doing here? And why are you so tall?! And Mulch? What is going _on_? Holy shit, holy shit! I really forgot, didn't I? Oh my God.'

'I just came to talk to Holly,' Mulch shrugs. 'I haven't seen her in over a week.'

'You've been up here a week?' Juliet turns to the other woman, her disbelief evident on her face.

Holly thinks about this. '... Yes, actually.'

'She's one of you now,' Mulch explains, 'joined the dark side.'

'One of...?' Juliet's eyes bug out. 'What did Artemis _do_ to you? What have I _missed?_'

'It wasn't Artemis,' Holly waves her hands quickly. 'It was Opal. The one... the crazy pixie that tried to take over Haven while we were rescuing Artemis' dad.'

Juliet scrunches up her face, 'No... ohhh... yes. Yep, I remember. But since when does she have whacko species changing powers? Did you piss her off and instead of turning you into a frog she thought it'd be even funnier to change you into a human?'

Holly sighs, 'I'll start from the beginning, shall I?'

'Please,' says Mulch, setting himself down on bench. 'Foaly's a terrible story teller; turns the blood and gutsiest thriller into a total snore-fest. It's a gift, really.'

After spending an appropriate amount of time gaping and repeating 'Oh my God!' Juliet gets down to the nitty-gritty. 'So, you're living here now?'

'Only for the time being. I keep telling Artemis I need to get my own place, but does he listen? No. He never listens,' Holly throws up her hands in disgust, talking to herself now. 'Being a genius does not make you omnisient. He doesn't understand the consequences of my living here. He says one thing now but, who knows, next month he may realise he had it all wrong, and then where will I be?'

Mulch and Juliet glance at each other out of the corner of their eyes and smirk.

'What do you think about...' Juliet pauses, thinking, 'what do you think about us finding ourselves a flat? I have no intention of living at the Manor for the academic year. Besides which, sharing is always cheaper.' She grins suddenly, 'And this way you can have all the weird, hairy guests over you want.'

'Hey!'

Holly blinks, coming out of her Artemis-reverie. 'Us? Share a flat?'

'Uh huh,' Juliet nods. 'What do you think?'

Holly grins, 'That's brilliant.'

'Aw man, that is so not fair.' Mulch points a finger at Juliet, 'You had better keep me up to date on the situation, missy, or you'll have some serious plumbing issues to deal with.'

'Situation, what situation?' Holly frowns, puzzled.

Mulch looks at her pityingly. 'Your situation, idiot. I want to know the _minute _you and Fowl hook up. If Foaly knows before I do, I'll never hear the end of it.'

Holly gapes. 'What am I? Some kind of afternoon soap opera?'

'Well, you sure beat PPTV,' grins Mulch.

Holly groans, burying her face in her hands. 'I hate you all,' she mutters through her fingers.

'S'ok, we'll grow on you, give us time,' Mulch pats her hip, as high as he can reach.

'Yeah, like a foot fungus, maybe,' Holly shoots back.

Mulch chuckles, 'I'm glad this whole 'Mud Woman' thing hasn't put a damper on your zinging wit. Now _that_ would have been tragic.'

'You're too kind,' Holly glares.

'Hey,' Mulch shrugs, 'at least I love you for your mind, not just your body!'

Holly groans again.

Several hours and countless kilometres down Memory Lane later, Mulch gives Holly a tight squeeze around the middle. 'Keep your chin up, Holly. Don't give her the satisfaction of being miserable.'

'I'm trying,' Holly says, as she and Juliet walk Mulch to the door.

'That's my girl,' Mulch gives her a thumbs up. 'Well, I will see you two ladies later. Don't cry for me, I'll be back soon enough. I know how hard it is for you to go without.'

'How considerate,' Holly monotones.

'Really, don't worry about us,' Juliet assures the dwarf, 'we'll be just fine.'

'Take your time,' adds Holly.

'As much as you need,' agrees Juliet.

Mulch cackles. 'Ah, I've missed you two. Oh! Before I go - Holly, don't be too hard on the kid. You're his much better half and if you leave him he's just plain done for. If nothing else, consider it a favour to the rest of the world.'

He's a kilometre underground before Holly can formulate a proper reply.

* * *

The next day dawns as bright and sunny as all the previous ones. Holly swears the world is trying to give her a complex. Since when is it sunny in Ireland?

Dragging herself out of bed at noon, she wanders out into the grounds to join the family. Sitting down beside Artemis, she watches Myles pedal some weird red contraption up and down the drive.

'What's that?' Holly asks, pointing to Beckett tottering around on his tricycle.

'Beckett on a tricycle,' replies Artemis, not looking up from the Financial Times. 'Good morning, by the way.'

'Same to you. What's a tricycle?'

'A bicycle with three wheels, as I'm sure you can see.'

'Bicycle?'

'A bicy-' Artemis does look up then. 'You don't know what a bicycle is?'

'Would I be asking if I did?'

'Sorry, it's simply... well... they're very common.'

'Chemical toilets are common above ground too, doesn't mean we have them below.'

Artemis concedes the point and explains.

Holly watches Myles a moment longer. 'How do you... would you teach me?' she asks.

'To ride a bicycle?' Artemis queries, unenthused.

'Yeah. Well, I mean, first you'd have to show me what exactly one is. But it looks kinda fun. And it's the only way you savages know to get around without spewing chemicals.'

'Yes, please, by all means, flatter my species. I'm sure that will make me more inclined to do you a favour.'

'Oh come on, Arty. Sometimes you dislike our fellow man even more than I do.'

Once again, she has a point.

'Alright. Come with me. There are bicycles in one of the garages. But,' he holds up a finger, 'I want you to know that I am making an incredible sacrifice here. I don't, as a general rule,_ exercise,_' he lets his upper lip curl dramatically on the word.

Don't worry,' she pats his arm, 'it shows.'

'Excuse me,' Artemis frowns, 'but not all of us can be violent, testosterone-driven thugs.'

'Oh, is that what I am? I hadn't realised.' She sticks her tongue out and marches ahead.

'Yes, well, we all know the brain isn't the law's preferred muscle.'

'Oooh, now that hurts.'

Artemis knows this banter is a little beneath them both, but she's laughing. She's nearly herself. And that's good enough for him.

'Alright, now pay attention, I hate repeating myself,' Artemis perches himself uneasily atop one of the several bicycles they have found tucked behind a Porsche.

Holly rolls her eyes.

'You sit here, on the seat –'

'Good Frond, really? I thought I was supposed to sit on the handlebars.' Holly cocks her head to the side and puts her hands on her hips.

'Oh, stop that,' Artemis replies testily. He hates bicycles - all that balance, exertion, _sweat_. He also hates making a fool of himself in front of Holly; something which currently seems, from his perch on the bike seat, to be an inescapable and probably physically painful event. He sighs and resigns himself to ignominy. 'Put your hands on the bars and your feet on the pedals. You have to keep pedalling or you fall over. That's all there is to it really.'

'Hmm,' Holly purses her lips, eyes glinting maliciously, 'I think I might need a demonstration.'

Artemis says something uncharacteristically vulgar in Gnommish, involving, at best, impressive contortion and, at worst, a very questionable knowledge of anatomy.

Holly raises an eyebrow. 'Where'd you pick that up? Been hanging out in some LEP locker rooms, Arty?'

'Goodness, no. From Mulch.'

Holly laughs, 'It figures.' She swings a leg over her bike and squirms into a comfortable position.

'You need to push back the kick stand as well,' Artemis points out.

'The what?'

'That little metal bit there, push it back, off the ground.'

'Oh.' Holly does as she's told, the places a tentative foot on the pedal and pushes. 'Ooh!' her face breaks into a grin.

'Keep pedalling!'Artemis calls as both the bike and her grin begin to wobble.

'Right!' she brings the other foot down and, after a few more wobbles, manages a relatively smooth figure of eight. Grinning a challenge, she begins pedalling back down the drive towards Myles, utterly nonchalant.

Artemis sighs. And now, if he doesn't bike back as well, she will mock him until next Easter. With much less grace, Artemis follows Holly back the way they came.

Butler raises an eyebrow as they come into view. 'I can't remember the last time I even saw you look at a bike, Artemis.'

Artemis just looks peeved.

'These things are awesome!' Holly enthuses, oblivious to Artemis' sulk. 'What a brilliant way to get around. Why don't all of you people use them?'

'You mean you've never seen a bicycle before?' interjects Artemis Senior. 'Where on earth did you spend your childhood?'

Holly rolls her eyes, 'Oh, you know, here and there.'

'My, oh my, you really have lived in some very remote places!' Artemis Senior raises his eyebrows in affable inquisition.

'Very remote,' agrees Artemis, in a tone his father recognises as the one he himself used to use when cauterising particularly undesirable veins of inquiry.

Holly's eyes flick from father to son and back again, before smiling brightly at nothing at all and turning back to Butler. 'So, anyway, explain to me why these aren't absolutely everywhere?'

Butler shrugs. 'You know us humans, lazy little buggers. Why bike when we can drive?'

Holly's shoulders slump a little.

'Though, in most cities, bicycles are very common,' Artemis adds quickly.

'Not as common as cars though,' Holly shoots back.

Artemis grimaces.

* * *

'Okay,' Juliet flops down beside Holly, entering her room without knocking. 'I've been looking through the papers and here's our list. What are you doing tomorrow? I think we should take a car and go look at some of these, what do you say? Holly? Ho-olly?' She waves her fingers in front of Holly's serene, smiling face.

'Huh? What? Sorry Juliet, what were you saying? I totally blanked out there,' Holly snaps out of her daydream.

'Riiiight,' Juliet smirks, imagining just what exactly Holly has been thinking of. She isn't far off the mark. 'I was talking about flats. Do you want to go out tomorrow and check some of them out?'

'Yeah, I guess we should,' Holly wrinkles her nose at the thought of more people.

'Don't get too excited about it there, girl.'

'Sorry. I just... all those people.'

'Well, it's that or this, your choice,' Juliet puts it bluntly.

'True,' Holly nods decisively. 'Let's do this.'

'That's the spirit,' Juliet grins. 'Also, Mrs. Fowl wants me to grab you for dinner. Don't worry, Butler talked to Pierre, it's all vegetarian,' she says seeing Holly's horrified face. 'Poor Mr. F's gonna have a heart attack.'

Holly snickers. 'Yet another reason to get out of here.'

'Exactly. And I do a mean tofu lasagne.'

'Is there anything you Butlers can't do?'

Juliet frowns, thinking hard. 'Nothing comes to mind.'

Holly giggles, following Juliet to the table.

* * *

Foaly scrolls through his results. On one monitor is Holly's new blood work, on another, the chemical makeup of Opal's serum. Trouble brought him the two darts left in her gun and Vinyáya stepped in during the enquiry, ensuring that Foaly got first crack at everything found in her lab – where he finds another canister of the muddy red serum, just waiting to transform unsuspecting fairies. Needless to say, he handles it with the utmost care.

'What've you found?' Vinyáya leans over his shoulder, eyeing the information on the screens, unable to make head nor tail of it.

'Nothing good,' Foaly mutters. 'From what I can tell, she's mixed together human blood, fairy magic and several chemical compounds I've never seen before, but which seem to be some kind of mutagenic. Is it the magic that caused the change? Is it a chemical reaction? D'Arvitted, if I know.'

'What about Holly's blood? Is it showing any signs of reverting?'

'Nope.' Foaly pulls a carrot from a nearby drawer and uses it as a pointer. 'Her DNA isn't perfectly human, there's still the odd quirk, but it's on the same scale as, say, the mutation that causes freckles. Everyone's got genetic quirks, after all.'

'So, this means...?'

'This means: I hope Artemis has some brilliant idea, because nothing's coming to me. But, hey, it's early days, right?'

'Though,' Vinyáya tucks a stray strand of hair behind one pointed ear, 'correct me if I'm wrong, but if there's magic involved, won't that make it irreversible? Like a healing?'

Foaly sighs, putting his chin in his hand. 'I was hoping you wouldn't bring that up. I'm trying not to think about it.'

'Sorry, my mistake,' Vinyáya rolls her eyes. She pats Foaly's shoulder. 'Well, good luck, cowboy,' she winks.

Foaly snorts. The levity of some people.

In the hall outside the Ops Booth, Vinyáya finds Trouble Kelp pacing back and forth, hounded by his younger brother.

'But Trouble, Mummy _said_ –'

'Grub! I don't care what Mum said!' For the first time in nearly a decade, Vinyáya watches as Trouble Kelp loses his temper. 'You are doing traffic duty and that is final. You're not fit for anything else. Now get out of my sight before you're working sewage!'

Grub, in a rare show of bravery, or perhaps, and more believably, just plain stupidity, raises his chin defiantly, 'But Mu-'

'I think your Commander has made himself clear, Corporal Kelp,' Vinyáya interrupts before she has the LEP's first case of fratricide on her hands. 'I'd get going, if I were you.'

Talking back to his brother is one thing, but talking back to the patently terrifying Wing Commander is quite another. He gets going.

Trouble runs his hands through his hair. 'Thanks, Vinyáya.'

'Don't worry about it. If he was my... well, let's just say he's lucky he's got such a caring brother.'

Trouble snorts, 'I don't feel very caring right now.'

'Good,' Vinyáya smiles wickedly, 'because now we have to go bully the Councillors into keeping Holly on as an officer. Consequently, I need you feeling anything but caring. Though there has been a handy rise in aboveground smuggling this last month. Perfect timing, don't you think?'

'You're horrible,' Trouble grins.

'Well, what's a girl to do? It was either frighten them or sleep with them; this way just think of all the money I've saved on birth control.'

Trouble snickers.


	7. Chapter 7

Continuing right along...

So, seeing as Colfer has never really described the twins, I'm giving them brown eyes (Against my wonderful beta's judgment, I'm afraid to say. BTW, have you heard of my beta? Have I mentioned yet in these author's notes how **awesome **ilex-ferox is?) because Colfer did that whole bit about Artemis Sr. and Jr. having the same colour eyes, etc., so I'd rather not infringe on their uniquenes.

* * *

Chapter Seven: Brotherly Love

'No,' says Butler, pulling her back onto both feet. 'You need more wind up before hand. Again.'

Holly bites back a snarky remark and centers her weight, letting her arms hang loose at her sides. But her knuckles are white around the handles of the knives she holds.

'Stop trying to strangle the knives, Holly. And keep your elbow in line with your wrist when you turn.' Juliet watches critically from across the room.

Holly looks straight ahead. Without warning, her right arm slices upwards, the blade of her knife whistling through the air. Had there been someone in front of her, she would have sliced them open from groin to chin. Before the knife reaches the apex of the swing she's moving again, crouching low, whirling around an imaginary principle, a deadly planet orbiting its fragile sun.

'Better,' Butler nods when she finishes. 'But you're going to need to practice to get your speed up.'

Gulping air, Holly nods without speaking. She hasn't got the energy to form words yet.

'And you need more force behind your thrusts, Holly.' Juliet clicks her tongue.

'One last time,' Butler says, circling the gasping woman speculatively.

Holly's head falls backwards for a split second before she centers her weight again. She stares at the wall ahead of her. She imagines Abbot charging towards them. She imagines Ark Sool telling her she cannot attend Julius Root's recycling. She imagines Artemis' cold eyes as he tells her she's been spilling sacred secrets for days. She imagines Opal Koboi with a gun pressed to his reedy neck. She moves through the pattern so fast even Butler has trouble following her movements. But the snicks and whistles of air being sliced are audible enough.

She falls to her knees at the end, utterly spent.

Butler rests a hand on her trembling shoulder. 'Good. But don't imagine things that make you angry. It'll make you sloppy, even if it makes you strong.'

Holly nods.

'I think that's enough for now. I'd like to go over human firearms with you tonight, however,' Butler offers her a hand up.

'Okay,' she manages, but stays where she is. 'I'm not shooting bullets, though.'

Butler sighs through his nose. 'I know. But you should still know how to use them. And remember what I told you about imagining things.'

'Okay,' she repeats.

'And stretch before your muscles get cold and seize up on you,' Juliet hops off the table she's sitting on.

'Okay.'

'I've got to go take the twins to the dentist, are you okay on your own?' Butler offers her his hand once more.

'Of course,' rallying, Holly pushes herself to her feet, stretching her arms up over her head. 'I'm not a Butler, but I'm not utterly useless.'

Butler nods. 'Come on, Juliet. Let's give her some peace and quiet.'

'You sure you don't want some company?' Juliet asks, eyebrows raised.

'Nah, I've got to think things over. Like whether or not I actually want to become anybody's bodyguard,' she gives them a pointed look.

Juliet laughs. 'See you at dinner.'

Holly nods as she presses her palms to the floor, slowly bringing her torso in to meet her knees.

'And, Holly,' Butler calls from the doorway, 'you did well.'

She shoots him an appreciative smile. A smile that drops away as soon as the door closes. _Frond, _she cringes, _I have so far to go. And I haven't even agreed to anything yet._

* * *

Artemis stares at the strings of numbers and letters streaming across his computer screen. Holly's entire genetic makeup is there before his eyes but, for the first time in his life, science fails to satisfy. Her blood seems almost actively refuse to be broken down into letters and numbers. There is simply too much to her for that.

_Or perhaps,_ he thinks, rubbing his face, _I simply need more sleep._

A car comes up the drive, crunching gravel. His heart lurches and he goes to the window. Are they back already?

No. It's only his father and the twins.

Artemis glares at nothing in particular, returning to his chair and playing with the mouse of his laptop. The house hunting alone is bad enough; he shudders to think what it is going to be like when she actually moves out. He doesn't even want to consider it. So of course he does.

_Space,_ his lips curl around the word, _she needs space. Well, she's had it, hasn't she? I've barely seen her since Juliet arrived, always off looking at flats, or running about in the gym with Butler, or... _

He catches sight of his petulant face in the screen and shakes his head. _Get a hold of yourself, _he tells his reflection.

'You there, Mud Boy?' Foaly's voice breaks into his inner monologue.

'Obviously.'

'Are you ever in a good mood?'

'Nearly as often as you're certain that no one's hacking your system.'

'That often, eh?' Foaly's face comes up on the next monitor along. 'I take it Holly's out?'

Artemis can feel a pout forming and hurriedly changes it to a frown. Foaly smirks. 'She just needs space. Have some patience, Arty.'

'Why does everyone keep saying that?' Artemis throws up his hands, 'I am utterly sick of hearing about how she "needs space"_._'

'Ahh, young love,' Foaly goads him. 'Have to say I'm impressed though, Fowl. I didn't realise you could muster such deep feelings about anything found outside your wallet.'

'Just tell me what you've found,' Artemis snaps.

'Actually, I was hoping to keep you distracted with some witty repartee to be honest,' Foaly gnaws on his lip. 'Things aren't looking so hot at the moment. If it was just straight science this would be easier, but Opal's mixed healing magic in there as well and, like we saw with your big man, healings can't be undone.'

Artemis's lips thin.

'Nothing to say? No zinging 'I'm Artemis Fowl II, I can do anything' comeback?'

Artemis shakes his head.

Foaly eyes the boy for a moment. 'You don't want us to find a cure, do you?' he asks finally.

Artemis swallows.

'I won't tell,' promises Foaly.

Artemis shakes his head. 'No,' his voice is level, apparently at ease, 'I don't. And, before you start, I know how terrible that is. I know exactly how despicable I am.' He shrugs, 'But I'm here aren't, I? I'm going to try. If there's a cure I need to find it. I owe her too much. But, to be perfectly honest, there's nothing I want less in the world.'

Foaly watches the boy's face, unaccustomed to seeing it so expressive. As much as it hurt him to lose Holly, the centaur realises just how much more it would hurt Artemis. 'If I were you,' he admits, 'I don't know that I'd even pretend to try.'

'Of course you would,' Artemis smiles ruefully, 'if you loved her. It does the most horrendous things to your common sense.'

Foaly nods slowly. Then he smiles, 'Well, if that's the case, let's crunch some numbers. Just give me one minute.' Foaly moves off screen to get a carrot, and to let Artemis recover his poise in private.

* * *

'Holly, would you care to join me?'

Holly looks up to see Myles holding out a Scrabble box. She blinks. 'Oh, uh, okay. Sure,' she flashes him a smile.

Myles beams.

Needless to say, twenty minutes later, Holly is regretting her decision.

'You realise he's four and a half, right?' Butler crouches down beside Holly as she lies on her stomach, glaring at the board.

'Yes, thank you, I'm aware of that.'

'What language are you playing in?' Butler asks, realising he doesn't recognise half the words.

'Latin,' replies Myles, calmly laying down three letters and coming away with fifty points. Holly groans.

'Of course, how silly of me,' Butler rolls his eyes. 'What else would you play in?'

She chuckles.

'So, how's the house hunt going? Juliet only glares at me when I bring it up.'

Holly glares at him.

'That well, huh?'

'You bet.'

'You know, you could always-'

Holly put her hands over her ears, 'Not you too!'

'I was going to say, live in a university residence,' Butler finishes with a smirk.

'I'd almost rather live here,' Holly makes a face.

'Are you leaving?' Myles looks up, concerned.

'Uh huh, just as soon as Juliet and I can find a place.'

'Why?' his big brown eyes get bigger.

'It's a long story, kiddo.'

'Is it because of Artemis? You shouldn't let him scare you off, we're quite a nice family, really.'

Holly and Butler share a grin.

'You could stay in my room if you don't find a house,' Myles offers gallantly.

'Ah, thanks Myles, but I'm pretty sure I'll be okay. But that's very thoughtful of you,' Holly bites down on her smile.

Butler turns his laugh into a cough. 'Maybe it's genetic,' he whispers to her in Gnommish, 'some kind of deficiency in their system that makes you necessary.'

She throws a Q square at him. 'Yeah, there's a deficiency alright, it's called morals.'

He ruffles her hair, and she swats at his hand. 'Have some respect for your elders!'

Laughing, Butler leaves her in peace, and goes in search of Artemis.

Artemis, however, finds Holly first.

'You told Juliet? Are you _serious_?'

Holly and Myles look up from their game. 'Told her what?' Holly asks.

Artemis crosses his arms, 'You know perfectly well what I mean.'

'I trust her,' Holly shrugs. 'Besides, if we're going to live together, it'd be pretty awkward if she didn't know. And I didn't tell her, she saw Mulch and things went from there.'

'May I speak to you alone for a minute?' Artemis reaches down to take her arm.

'I'm in the middle of getting my ass totally kicked actually, if you don't mind.'

'I do mind, get up.'

'What's the big deal anyway, Arty? She knew before.'

'I simply can't believe that you would pass out that sort of information so freely. Especially after the ordeal with my father.'

Myles's eyes flick between his brother and Holly, trying to figure out just what they were talking about. Holly sighs, deciding that yet another Fowl boy in on the secret is the last thing she needs. ''Scuse me a second would you, Myles? Your brother's just so demanding.'

Myles frowns at his older brother, but replies gracefully enough, 'Of course, Holly.'

Artemis looks at Myles speculatively for a moment. Sometimes that boy reminds him too much of himself for comfort.

* * *

Myles watches as his brother and Holly head for the door without a backwards glance. The boy frowns, but his cherubic face can't do justice to his jealousy.

Like Artemis, Myles has inherited a large portion of the Fowl brains, not to mention guile. Unlike Artemis, he is currently enjoying one of the world's happiest childhoods – one in which aurum potestas est is nothing but an old carving along the mantelpiece. He considers himself intelligent, possibly even a genius, but, though occasionally underhanded, certainly not criminal - simply because becoming a criminal has never occurred to him. Nor does it occur to him that Artemis, so similar to himself, should have such a very different outlet for his talents. No, Myles sees Artemis and himself as two peas in a pod, nigh on identical.

The only problem with this is that Artemis came first.

Beckett is an average child. He is cute and sweet and almost always covered in something sticky. Adults dote on him because it is easy to do so (and, in their mother's case, because she feels sorry for him, not having the natural talents of his brothers). Myles, on the other hand, impresses them. But, in their surprise they never say: Would you look at that, isn't Myles brilliant? No, in their surprise they say: Would you look at that? Just like Artemis at that age.

Myles has had the misfortune to be born a genius in a family where genius is run of the mill.

So not only has Artemis already done everything Myles will do, he is also their mother's undisputed favourite. After all, for Angeline Artemis was once all that she had left of her husband, thereby becoming the dearest thing in the world to her. Never mind the fact that these days, wracked by guilt, she is still trying to make up for her descent into madness all those years ago.

But Myles knows neither of these things. Not quite five yet he sees only his brilliant big brother, apple of their mother's eye, stealing his thunder before he even considers gathering the storm clouds.

And then Holly arrived.

Holly, the first person he has ever seen argue with his brother; Holly, the first person he has ever seen deny his brother anything; Holly, who is fierce and funny and different from anyone he has ever met in his sheltered Manor life. And, just like his brother before him, he finds her fascinating. He wants her to turn her strange eyes on him and smile, sharp teeth flashing white against her dark skin.

For the first time in his life, Myles is considering thievery. After all, he thinks, Artemis can't have everything in life.

* * *

They go down the hall and into a small study with a view of the lake.

'You're father's a totally different story, Artemis, and you know it,' Holly starts before the door is even fully closed.

'My father is not the point,' Artemis replies, 'the point is that you willingly allowed Juliet to regain her memories after you went to so much trouble to remove them.'

'I didn't go to any trouble at all. If you remember, I wasn't exactly best pleased about that particular scheme.'

'But you didn't go against your orders. Why now?'

Holly pauses. 'Because,' she begins, remembering the rush of freedom she'd felt, 'because I don't take orders from anyone anymore, do I? In some ways... in some ways I'm utterly free now.'

'And you've decided to celebrate your new-found freedom by divulging the People's secrets?'

Holly frowns, 'Not at all. It's like I said: Juliet knew before, anyway. Besides, I trust her, she won't betray us. And, honestly, I _like_ her, she's a friend, just like Butler. Or you. Speaking of whom, why are you so worked up about this anyway? You're _hardly _in a position to talk, Artemis Fowl.'

Artemis pinches the bridge of his nose. 'It's dangerous.'

Holly rolls her eyes, 'No, really? I had no idea. Don't worry, Arty, I am perfectly aware of the consequences here. I just... I hate having to lie. I want the people I care about to understand who and what I am. Maybe that's selfish, but I just feel like I'm playing a part otherwise. And I told you already,' she adds defensively, 'she saw Mulch.'

'And you did your utmost to prevent her from regaining her memories, I'm sure.'

'And, like I already asked, why are you so bothered by this? That's my job.'

Artemis frowns in concentration. He can feel jealousy climbing up from his stomach like a worm, wriggling along his trachea, sliding over his tongue and out towards his teeth. He bites down on his cheek to keep from blurting out the truth. 'I just want to be sure you're sure, that's all. In case this was some act of rebellion against the Council in return for abandoning you. Something you would regret later.'

Holly narrows her eyes at him, disbelieving. 'You know I wouldn't do something like that.'

'Well, to be honest, I wasn't so sure. Lately you've not always been the embodiment of charity and compassion,' Artemis shoots back, alluding to her first few nights.

Holly takes a step back. 'Artemis...' she trails off, her face clearly showing her hurt and confusion. 'Are you really that angry with me?'

'I'm not angry.'

'Right.' Her voice is heavy with disbelief. 'Well, if you're not angry, what's wrong?'

'I'm simply not the embodiment of charity and compassion either,' he says, and stalks out of the room, leaving Holly alone and cut to the quick.

'Ow,' she says to the room at large.

* * *

Artemis sits on one of the bar stools around the island counter in the Fowl's enormous kitchen, playing with empty pea pods.

'So, what do you want to talk to me about?' asks Butler, calmly shelling peas for a salad; Pierre is away for the weekend.

'What on earth makes you think that I want to talk?' Artemis replies, knowing perfectly well how childish he sounds.

Butler just looks at him.

'Holly told Juliet.'

'I know. Juliet told me - she's over the moon. I don't know that they'll have the calmest of domestic lives, but they'll certainly have fun,' Butler reaches for the balsamic vinegar. 'It'll be good for Holly to have a friend, I think.'

'She has us,' Artemis points out, still petulant.

'I mean someone, if not near her own age, than at least with similar interests, a similar – ah – enthusiasm, that sort of a friend. Holly's a sociable creature, she needs a couple of girlfriends kicking around. And who better than Juliet, who knew before?'

'Huh,' grunts Artemis.

Butler fights down a smile. 'I don't suppose you're... oh, what's that word? Jealous?'

Artemis glares at his giant bodyguard. 'Jealous? Don't be absurd. What do I have to be jealous of?' he fiddles with an errant pea.

'I'm sure I've no idea,' Butler pours the vinegar.

'She doesn't need space from Juliet,' Artemis mutters at last.

'I don't think she cares for Juliet quite as much as she cares for you. Besides, Juliet never-'

'Lied to her, yes, I know.' Artemis throws his head back with a groan, 'Butler, this is a disaster. She's utterly unstable.'

'You two've been fighting again, haven't you?' Butler feels like a primary school teacher.

'I may have been a little high-handed.'

Butler sighs, putting the vinegar down and picking up the olive oil. 'Artemis, I know it seems longer than it has been, and that she's been adjusting very well, but she's still hurting. Her whole life just got turned upside down, remember. Juliet is simple. She watches wrestling movies, paints her nails and laughs a lot. Right now, Juliet is probably about all Holly can handle. So stop acting like an actual sixteen year old and be gentle with her. I know that you can.'

Artemis flicks an empty pod back and forth. 'Sometimes, being a genius has decided disadvantages. I'm expected to be so much more mature, expected to under_stand_. Well, I don't,' he looks up at Butler, defiant. 'I don't understand and these days, appalling as it is, _I_ hurt too.'

Butler reaches out to the boy. 'Maybe now you'll think twice before you flaunt your numerous psychology degrees,' he smirks, patting Artemis' pale cheek.

'Oh yes, rub it in, rub it in,' Artemis responds bitterly.

'Seriously, Artemis, it's like I told Holly - things are tough right now but you are strong, the both of you, and you'll work it out. I'm not going to sympathise with your whining and stand around patting your hand and pitying you because I know you don't need or want it. You're better than that, just like she is.'

Artemis slumps on the stool before slowly nodding. 'As usual, old friend, you're right...' he makes a face, 'I suppose I had better go apologise.'

'Best idea you've had all day,' Butler smiles at him. 'And Artemis,' he speaks as the boy slides to the floor, 'it's going to be okay.'

Artemis _tsk_s as he walks away. 'Well, obviously. This is me we're talking about.'

Butler chuckles, shaking his head.

* * *

'Hey, Myles? I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to take a rain check on that game. I've got some things I need to do. But maybe tomorrow, okay? Sorry, buddy!' Holly pats the boy's hair and leaves before she can see his look of dejection.

'Don't call me buddy,' he mutters after her retreating figure, pouting ferociously. She doesn't hear him.

Returning to her room, Holly straps on the wings, making a face as they remind her of Artemis in all his contradictory glory. Stepping out onto the balcony, she sighs. _This is really going a bit overboard, _she thinks, _literally taking flight, just to avoid Artemis for a couple of hours? _She moves to take off the wings, then pauses. _I have the right to fly when I want! I just need some d'Arvitting privacy for a bit. And who would want to talk to Artemis when he acts like such a brat anyway?_

She shakes her head, listening to how petty she sounds. _Man, he really brings out the worst in me sometimes._

_And, at others, the best, _points out her pesky other half.

_Oh, shut up. Let me enjoy my sulk in peace for once._

She flies out as twilight falls, going south without any sort of destination in mind. Her mind back in the Manor, it isn't until her feet touch ground that she realises she's landed. When she recognises where she is, she groans. An ancient oak, a bend in a river.

Automatically she looks up, searching the night sky for the moon. It's nearly full. She swings up onto a low branch, and runs her fingers along the dips and ridges of the tough bark. Quietly, she starts to cry. Leaning against the trunk she curls her legs to her body, wraps her arms around herself, and sobs unashamedly.

How long she stays there she has no idea, but the moon is high in the sky by the time she wipes her face with the backs of her hands.

'Frond, I must look a mess,' she says aloud, trying to cheer herself up. Her lower lip droops. She wants to be held. She wants someone to make her laugh. And, though he doesn't usually do either of those, she wants - 'Artemis. Oh, d'Arvit.'

And then - a true appreciator of irony - she does laugh.

* * *

The next morning Holly rises late and, with a start, realises she and Juliet had made plans to look at yet more flats today. In ten minutes.

'Oh _Frond,_' Holly throws herself out of bed, into the nearest clothes and into the hall.

'Holly! Where are you going in such a rush?' Juliet and Holly narrowly avoid colliding as they both turn a corner at full tilt.

'I was looking for you.'

'Oh good, ditto! You still up for going out? Where were you at dinner last night? We were worried. And speaking of worried, I just saw Artemis, he's looking for you.' Juliet waggles her eyebrows, 'Boy, you should have seen him last night; he nearly snapped a maid's head off. It's a good thing you came back, for the safety of the staff.'

'Ha, ha,' Holly glares. 'I went out. Flying. Needed some space. And yes, I'm up for it, let's go.'

'Don't you want to talk to Artemis?'

'Does it look like I want to talk to Artemis?' Holly asks, already heading for the stairs.

'Holly, I really think you might want to talk to him. I think he might think you've left,' Juliet catches her friend's arm, 'for good, I mean.'

Holly's frown weakens at the thought of how much that would hurt him. She bites her lip, remembering how much she had missed him, cold and alone in the branches of the tree. Then she remembers how ridiculous he had been the afternoon before.

'Let him, it'll do him good,' turning, she stalks down the stairs. 'I'll show him the embodiment of charity and compassion!' she mutters.

'What was that?' Juliet asks.

'Nothing. Never mind.'

* * *

Holly has to admit that house hunting is really not one of her favourite pass times. In fact, to be perfectly honest, she's starting to think it might even rank just below facing down crazed Extinctionists. Needless to say, it has been a long two weeks.

But, after her latest run in with Artemis, the time has come. Either she will cave in and stay with him, which she simply can't allow, or she will grow bitter from constantly thwarting herself. _If I can just have some time alone, _she insists to herself, _I'll be able to think clearly. I'll sort all this out._

_What needs sorting out? He's been only too clear -_

_We've been over this already._

_I still think –_

_I don't care what you think._

_You're impossible._

_I'm cautious._

_You're a coward._

Juliet lets out a quiet groan behind her, interrupting her inner dispute. 'Gross,' she mutters in Holly's ear, 'let's get out of here.'

Holly nods, having already seen more of this particular flat than she has ever wanted to. Stepping out of the bathroom, she wrinkles her nose. Scratch that; she would take Extinctionists over this any day.

'Sorry, Mr. Million, I'm afraid this isn't quite what we're looking for,' Juliet turns to the landlord, 'but thanks for showing us around!' Flashing a heart-stopping smile, Juliet grabs Holly's arm and propels them both out into the hall. They're back in the car before Mr. Million has even opened his mouth to say goodbye.

'God, talk about nasty!' Juliet drums sparkly nails on the steering wheel. 'Did you _see_ that mould? Eww.'

'Sometimes 20/20 vision is a curse,' Holly wrinkles her nose.

'Sad but true.' Juliet speeds through a red light, 'Wanna get lunch?'

'Please! Nothing like squalor to make a girl ravenous.'

Juliet snorts.

Working their way through a plate of yam fries and sandwiches, they watch the rain drip down the diner's enormous windows and rehash the day's events.

'God, do you remember the first one, the one on the ground floor?'

'The one that reeked of cat pee?'

'Exactly! Could you believe that guy though? A crowbar couldn't have pried his eyes off you.'

'Don't remind me,' Holly shudders.

Juliet slurps her drink, grinning maliciously. 'And then there were those college boys looking for roommates...'

'Stop! Please stop!' Holly puts her hands over her ears, laughing. 'Their eyes nearly fell out of their heads when you flipped their buddy over the table.'

Juliet sniffs. 'How is grabbing a potential roommate's ass supposed to further your cause? I mean_ honestly_.'

Holly shakes her head, still chuckling. 'How many do we have left?'

'Three,' Juliet consults her list. 'I'd really like to find something soon though. I've gotten out of the habit of living like the Fowls. After Mexico, it makes me a little uncomfortable, to be honest. And this whole running around looking at grossness while trying to be polite is starting to grate.'

'Tell me about it,' Holly smiles ruefully. 'Ha, Foaly once asked me if I missed having a normal life. You know, going to work, paying your rent, coming home in the evenings to PPTV and a cup of tea. This was right after Artemis and I got back from eight years in the past - I was flying him home to the Manor. He was unconscious, just crashed a plane into a Kraken trying to save us from Opal,' Holly isn't seeing the diner anymore, remembering the wind and the sky and the tingling of her lips.

'What did you tell Foaly?'

'Hmm?' Holly refocuses on Juliet, 'Oh. I told him no. Not at all.' She laughs, 'And this is exactly why! Landlords are clearly so much more obnoxious than crazed pixies.'

Juliet chuckles, but her mouth pulls down at the corners. She reaches for Holly's hand. 'You okay?'

Holly takes a sip of her tea. 'I think so,' she says at last. 'I want to be. Well, no. Sometimes, I want to be miserable and throw things and scream and break down walls. But that's not really me. I know that deep underneath, I want to be happy again, even if, sometimes, that feels like treachery.'

Juliet squeezes the tiny dark hand in her own. 'Being happy is never wrong. It isn't treachery. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost.'

'Why do you think I'm looking for this flat?' Holly smiles.

'Good girl,' Juliet nods. 'Besides, if you ever really need to break down some walls, I will always be here for you.'

'Thanks, Juliet.'

Juliet winks at her and pops the last of the fries into her mouth.

'Hey!' comes Holly's scandalised realisation, a moment too late.

* * *

They eye the building from the pavement, as though trying to x-ray through its concrete and steel.

'It doesn't seem so bad,' Holly remarks, clearly surprised.

'And it's close to the university.'

'This could be it.'

'Shhh, knock on wood. Don't jinx it already.'

'Sorry,' Holly raps her knuckles on a nearby tree. 'You ready?'

'Let's do this thing.'

They take the lift up, simply because the thought of an actual working lift thrills them.

'It's so clean,' Holly whispers, eying the well-kept lobby.

'Shhh,' repeats Juliet.

Their flat is at the very top. Juliet points out that it was also right next to the roof exit. Handy should anyone want to receive visits from airborne guests. Standing on the balcony beside Juliet and Mrs. Freeman, the landlady, Holly thinks that the view alone is reason enough. It reminds her of flying. She grins, thinking of flying from this balcony.

The flat itself is relatively small - kitchen and living room combined, with a cabinets to separate them. Two bedrooms, a bathroom, a balcony. Holly is thrilled.

She and Juliet stand in the bathroom oggling the pristine bathtub.

'The price is right,' says Juliet.

'We've gone to so many.'

'It's been a lo-ong few weeks,' agrees Juliet.

'The view is fabulous.'

'You want to?'

'Yes,' Holly turns to Juliet and grins.

'Artemis'll freak out when he sees how small it is,' Juliet cautions.

'I'll make sure to have a camera handy,' comes the gleeful response.

* * *

Artemis is waiting for them on the front steps when they return.

Holly winces from behind the wheel. Having had the day to think, she's starting to feel more than a little guilty about running away from him.

'You want me to stick around?' asks Juliet.

'No,' Holly sighs, 'I owe him an apology.'

Juliet nods. 'Though I'm willing to bet he owes you one too.'

Holly smiles, 'Isn't that always the way with us?'

'He really does care about you, you know. Well, as much as it is possible for him to care.'

'Or at least, he thinks he does,' Holly responds, parking the car.

'Holly, he misses you. You've been spending so much time with me lately he must be half crazy with jealousy. Never mind that we're moving out together. He's never been a very good loser – never had much chance to practice.'

'You've been talking to your brother, haven't you?'

Juliet chuckles. 'Guilty as charged.'

Holly shakes her head. 'You're both impossible. I swear Butler gossips more than my grandmother did.'

'How long are you going to make him wait?'

'I don't know.' She looks Juliet in the eye, 'Do you think I'm a coward?'

'I think you're hurt and have a lot to think about. But I also think that, despite whatever else he is and whatever he wants, right now he would like to help, and that you should let him - at least a little bit. Besides, it's not like you don't care about him too. I saw your face, that day in the hall.'

Holly thinks back to her conversation with Artemis Senior and frowns. She had told him to have a little more faith in his son. Maybe it's time she takes her own advice.

'Okay. Alright. I can do this.'

'That's the spirit.' Juliet pauses, half in the car and half out, 'And remember, if you need any help, just holler, I'll be there in a flash.'

Holly grins her thanks.

'Holly,' Artemis stands as she approaches, brushing off the seat of his trousers.

'Hey,' she gives him a small wave, feeling shy.

He takes a breath, fighting down the urge to be cutting. _It won't get you what you want. _'I thought... yesterday, I thought you'd left.'

'I went flying, I was gone until pretty late. And then Juliet and I left early this morning.'

Artemis doesn't mention the fact that he had asked Juliet to bring Holly to him before they left. Holly scuffs her toe in the gravel.

'Those wings are something else,' she says at last. 'Thanks again.'

'Not at all.'

Silence. Artemis plays with the buttons of his cuffs.

'I'm sorry,' they both speak at once, then blush.

'You go -'

'No, please, go ahead -'

'We're both pretty crap at this, aren't we?' Holly plops herself down on the steps, arms dangling off her knees.

'Yes,' Artemis sinks down next to her. 'But we always have been.'

'And yet we do it so often. You'd think practice would make perfect.'

'If only we were so lucky.'

'Why were you so angry, anyway?' Holly turns to him.

Artemis purses his lips, a faint blush rising at the thought of his emotions being so... _base._

'I may have been a little jealous,' he admits at length, under the cover of inspecting his nails.

Holly blinks. Then explodes into laughter.

Artemis watches her, nonplussed.

'Oh- oh Artemis-' her words are lost in giggles. Taking a deep breath she tries again, wiping her eyes. 'Butler was right, after all. Artemis – Arty - don't be ridiculous. I told you this is going to take me time. I'm not going to run away, I just need to think. And before you starting whining or conning me or both, let me just say that our flat is only an hour away and you can come visit anytime you like.'

'May I?' Then he frowns, 'You found a flat?'

She grins at his disappointed expression. 'We did. We're going to move in a couple of days. Once we find some furniture.'

He watches her speak, detailing their plans to hunt up a sofa, where to find futons, Juliet's inexplicable desire to have a piano. She seems so content, smiling over these ordinary difficulties. His stomach fills with warmth and, taking a gamble, he raises her chin and kisses her.

It doesn't last long. He does it to prove that he can and knows he's gone too far almost immediately, though she doesn't resist. In fact, it may be her unthinking acquiescence that makes him pause, knowing he could go on and knowing that he shouldn't. For a moment, it has to be admitted, he pushes his luck. But then he thinks better of it and, dropping his hand, moves back, swallowing.

She stares at him, wide eyed, momentarily unsure which surprises her more: that he hadn't pressed his advantage or that he had been brave enough to kiss her at all.

She licks her lips; she is like a soldier who has lost a leg but can still feel it ache, even years later. She fights down both the urge to giggle like an idiot and to slap him. Instead, she raises an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

'I'm sorry,' he says, rising abruptly, turning his head away from her so that she can't see his smile.

Without thinking, she catches hold of his trouser leg as he turns to go. 'Don't be,' she looks away from him as well, speaking to the driveway.

'Holly, I shouldn't have, please don't –' he lets his voice go soft and pleading.

'Last night,' she interrupts him, 'when I went flying, I ended up by that oak tree. You know - the very first one. Anyway, I was pretty upset, who knows who long I spent just sitting in its branches. And while I was sitting there I was trying so hard to be furious with you but, instead, I just missed you.'

She turns then, looking him straight in the eye, her voice level and certain. 'We're friends. We're...you... honestly, you might be the best friend I've ever had, ironically enough. I've been scared and I've been stupid - y_ou've _been stupid - and we're still all of that but, until I get sorted out, we can be friends, can't we? We're good for each other.'

'That's what I've been trying to tell you for weeks now,' but he smirks at her and sits down again. _Yes, we can be friends. I can be an excellent friend. _

'Sorry, I tend to tune you out when you start lecturing me,' she grins back, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

He sighs, shaking his head in mock consternation as, laughing, she takes his hand in hers.

They stay there until Juliet loses an arm wrestling match with Butler and is forced to fetch them for dinner.


	8. Chapter 8

Once again, I am so sorry!! Watson, my faithful (though, so far, really a bit wimpy) laptop has yet again got the flu. And this time it may be terminal. Luckily I haven't lost anything and fingers crossed he'll make it through (please, God, I don't have the money for a new laptop right now...). Anyway, I'll try to be a bit quicker on the updating front.

All mistakes are my fault, and mine alone. My beta is too cool for words.

* * *

Chapter Eight: L'Aubade

_Suddenly she turns to him, taking hold of his arm._

'_Hold me,' she says, 'there's absolutely nothing left now. Please. Just hold me.'_

_He does, and wonders if that makes anything better._

'_Do you think,' she says after some time, 'that there's a reason for this? That there's a reason this happened? That I did something to deserve this?'_

'_No,' he replies, forceful. 'No, I don't.'_

_Her face presses against his shoulder. 'I just... I can't help but feel as though I could have done something to prevent things getting this out of control. As though I've forgotten something important.'_

'_This is not your fault,' his voice is scratchy._

'_I know,' she curls closer to him, 'but I can't help but wonder sometimes.'_

_He holds her tighter, not bothering to hide his smile of triumph._

* * *

'I have another present for you!' Foaly's whinny wakes Holly the next morning. 'It'll be downstairs with your postman in a couple of hours!'

'Unnng,' Holly peers over the edge of her bed at the laptop across the room. 'Foaly, it's 6:00 am. And Artemis'll have your hooves if you keep turning his computer on and off like that.'

'I know; you're lucky I'm calling this late.' Foaly brays with laughter.

'Lucky, yes, that's exactly what I was thinking.' Holly clambers out from under her duvet, stumbling over to plop down in front of the screen. Her expression brightens as she sees who else is with Foaly. 'No°1!'

'Good morning!' The little imp waves at her, grinning away. 'Qwan and I have been touring ancient time-tunnel sites, or I would have called sooner. We only just back from Tír na nÓg yesterday.'

'And how are the ancient time-tunnel sites?'

N°1 rolls his eyes. 'Pretty boring, but there was a fantastic pizza place right next to the last one we went to.'

Holly laughs as, in the background, Foaly's voice can be heard berating N°1's bodyguards.

'It must be pretty crowded in the Ops Booth,' Holly comments.

'You're telling me,' Mulch's head appears next to the imp's. 'Not enough space in here to swing a dead cat.

'And he means that literally,' N°1 assures her.

Holly wrinkles her nose at the image. 'Lucky that Foaly doesn't allow dead animals into the Ops Booth.'

'Who's bringing dead animals into the Ops Booth?' Foaly's voice comes from off screen. 'Don't even think about it, dwarf! Between these two Neanderthals and yourself, the smell is bad enough already.'

'Watch it, Pony Boy, or I might just get hungry,' Mulch turns to face the invisible centaur.

'Is that a threat, convict?'

'You tell me, genius. And don't call me convict, I was cleared!'

'By a technicality that-'

As dwarf and centaur battle it out backstage, N°1 turns back to Holly. 'How are you, Holly? Comfortable? Content?'

'Both those things.'

'Really?' The little demon seems pleasantly surprised. 'Good. How is Artemis?'

'Devious, underhanded and duplicitous.'

'Same as usual then?'

'Pretty much.'

'I'm glad you're happy together,' N°1 smiles.

Holly opens her mouth to deny the underlying connotations of 'together' but instead says, 'Me too.'

Unfortunately, Foaly and Mulch choose that moment to return to the conversation.

'Wait, what are you saying? Since when are you _together _–'

'You're going to have a clogged toilet until January! Juliet swore she'd tell me if you –'

'Guys, guys, hold your horses –'

N°1 snickers and Foaly glares at him.

'- we live in the same house, obviously we spend time together,' Holly waves her hands in front of the screen, trying to reassure them.

Unnoticed by Foaly and Mulch, N°1 winks at her. Her lips twitch in response.

'So you're not...?'

'Aw man, I was really looking forward to blocking up your toilets. Are you sure?'

'Sorry, guys.' Holly laughs as, behind her, the summer sun rises, colouring the underside of the clouds pink and gold. 'Speaking of Artemis, however, how's my cure coming along?'

'Eh,' Foaly shuffles. 'Well, we're breaking down the mutagens, to see what they can tell us. And N°1 is helping with the magic component – all of her chemicals are permeated with magic. What's interesting though, is that the different components can be separated and still retain their function.'

'Pardon?' Holly frowns.

'Well, at first, I thought about maybe taking out the overtly magical components – this was before I knew that it was basically threaded into her chemistry at a molecular level – and seeing what we could do with that. It turns out that you can separate the human DNA and the mutagens and they'll still recombine later, remaking a working whole, which makes me think it's the mutagens that are the key.

'And the outcome of all this is...?'

'That it's going to take some more time,' Foaly admits after a moment.

Holly nods. 'Of course. I was just curious as to what exactly's been done to me, you know?'

'What about Mud Weasel, he come with anything mindboggling yet?' Mulch asks brazenly.

Foaly swallows, his eyes flicking to Holly momentarily. 'No-o, though it was him that realised we could remix the serum after having separated it.'

'Because that's oh so useful,' Mulch snorts.

'Well then, you find a cure, smart ass,' Foaly crosses his arms, wanting to change the subject.

'Look, Donkey Boy, it's always me that has to save everyone else's behind in this place. I am getting seriously sick of-'

N°1 looks over at Holly and they both roll their eyes.

* * *

'Good morning,' Angeline smiles at Holly as the redhead takes a plate from the sideboard and begins loading it with food.

Holly grins over her shoulder at the other woman. 'Good morning!'

'Having a good day already?' Angeline smiles at her exuberance.

'Got a call from home early this morning,' Holly shrugs. 'It's good to see their faces.'

Angeline nods in understanding. 'You have some very caring friends.'

'I do,' Holly sits down across from Artemis' mother, wondering how she manages to look so well-groomed, even at 8:00am. _An army of hairdressers,_ she thinks to herself. 'I'm lucky.'

Angeline laughs softly, 'Lucky?'

Holly swallows a bite of toast. 'Yes, lucky. I could have been alone through all this.'

'I suppose that's true,' Angeline agrees. 'Oh! I nearly forgot, this came for you in the post.'

Holly takes the proffered envelope. 'The government's already sending me mail? I've only existed for a couple of months. Wow, they are good.' Sliding a nail under the flap, she pulls out the contents. Then she realises what this is. 'Oh, Foaly,' she shakes her head fondly.

'Foaly? What is it?'

'An international driving licence. He told me I'd get a present in the post today. I'd nearly forgotten, what with everything else. Ha, this is great! I really needed one of these. Perfect timing too, I'm supposed to go mattress shopping today, which is a bit tricky on the bus.'

'Only a trifle,' Angeline chuckles. 'But you should take Artemis with you; he's been glaring at his computer screen for the past week, it would be good for him to get out of the house. And we know an excellent place for mattresses.'

Holly fingers her new licence, thinking about why Artemis has been glaring at a computer screen for a week. 'That's a good idea. I'll ask him.'

Angeline smiles, content to have done her good deed for the day.

* * *

'I like this one,' Holly falls backwards onto a futon, arms outstretched.

Artemis winces at the solid thump her landing makes. 'You might as well sleep on the floor, it's so hard. What is the point in that?'

Holly props herself up on her elbows to speak to him. 'It's what I had at home. Yours are all so soft and cushiony, they make me feel like I'm drowning.'

The saleswoman eyes her two latest customers, more than a little perplexed. First of all, neither of them look past the age of consent. Secondly, why on earth would the boy have more than one mattress? And thirdly, she has never met two other individuals with more decided opinions on mattresses in her life. And she has had many an opinionated customer in the past two years.

'We have quite an extensive selection of firmer mattresses over to the left, if you want. They're not quite futons, but they're not waterbeds either.'

'Ooh,' Holly rolls off of the mattress, 'I could get a waterbed!'

'Please, tell me you're joking?'

Holly raises an eyebrow. 'What I do with my bed is none of your business, Artemis,' she speaks over her shoulder, stalking after the saleswoman.

Artemis, though blushing at the obvious connotations of that, maintains his dignity and says nothing.

In the end, Holly's original wish wins through and she, much to Artemis' dismay, buys the futon.

_At least,_ whispers a very quiet voice in the furthest corner of his mind, _she bought a large one._

Holly gives him a funny look when the blood, yet again, rushes to his face; this time for no apparent reason. 'Penny for your thoughts,' she asks, raising an eyebrow.

'They're not worth that much,' Artemis grumbles, slamming the passenger door.

Holly shrugs to herself and slips into the driver's seat. 'You want to go for lunch?'

'I'll phone to see if –'

Holly puts a hand on his arm as he reaches for his mobile phone. 'Let's just eat somewhere casual, how about?'

Artemis grimaces, but puts down the phone. 'If you insist.'

She laughs, starting the engine. 'I do. It'll be good for you. A cultural experience.'

He rolls his eyes. 'Poverty is not a cultural experience.'

'Sure it is. It's just more vertical than horizontal.'

'Pardon me?'

'You know, you travel horizontally around the globe, you travel up and down through the classes. Okay,' she rolls her eyes at his sceptical expression, 'it wasn't a very good analogy, so sue me.'

He fights down the urge to kiss her again, then and there, as she speeds through a yellow light. This whole business is proving to be more difficult than anticipated.

They eat takeout sushi, sitting on a bench in Phoenix Park, balancing the trays on their knees. Artemis prods his California roll with evident misgivings.

Holly smacks his hand with her chopsticks. 'Just put it your mouth and chew, Arty. You nearly had that poor shop assistant in tears you were so rude. The least you can do is eat it with a bit of grace. Frond, I can't take you anywhere, can I?'

'It's _fake_ crab!' Artemis protests, horrified.

'Then you should have gotten a vegetarian one. No fake veggies, are there?' Holly munches contentedly on her sushi.

'Yes, yes, flaunt your higher moral ground.' Gingerly, he lifts one piece and puts it in his mouth.

Holly raises her eyebrows expectantly.

He chews slowly and swallows. 'Well, I've certainly had better,' he says at last.

She groans, laughing, and chucks a packet of soy sauce at him. 'You are such a prat, Mud Boy!'

Artemis dodges the soy sauce with unusual coordination and sniffs, sticking his nose in the air. Holly chuckles fondly as she rises to put her tray in the recycling bin. He unabashedly watches her as she walks away.

Holly turns back to him and, seeing his food still untouched, puts her hands on her hips. 'Are you going to eat that or not? Juliet and I want to start moving some things today you know, not next year.' She grins as he shakes himself and returns to his food.

* * *

Holly peers at Artemis out of the corner of her eye. He is leaning his forehead against the window, watching the passing scenery as they return to the Manor. She smiles to herself, looking back to the road in front of her. In the past couple of days she's remembered how much she enjoys his company. His sarcasm, his vampire smile, his long suffering sighs when she does something he finds inexpressibly common, ridiculous, or just plain stupid.

Mostly she's remembering how easy it is to be _normal _with him. Considering that when she's with him her life is usually one near death experience after another, considering that he occasionally terrifies her with his power over her, it's incredible how easy she finds it is to relax around him. _That's part of what's so terrifying_, she thinks. _Slowly but surely, he's lulling me into a false sense of security. Like a spider, biting the fly so that it relaxes as it's eaten._

_Well, at least you'll go down smiling._

_How reassuring._

Artemis' lips twitch as, beside him, Holly steals peeks at him when she thinks he isn't looking. When, smiling absently, she finally returns her eyes to the road, his mouth stretches into a full blown smirk. That disgusting sushi may just have been worth it.

The Manor gates open for them and she drives them up to the front door. Juliet is waiting, perched upon two large orange suitcases.

'I thought you guys would never get back!' She opens the driver's door, bending to kiss Holly's cheeks. 'Did Artemis try to kidnap you again?'

'No,' Holly laughs, 'other way round. I force-fed him pre-packaged sushi.'

'Really? Now that takes guts,' Juliet grins. 'How was it, Arty?'

Artemis shoots her a withering look over the roof of the car. 'Is Butler coming with us?'

'To help move? You betcha. You think Holly and I are going to move that mattress by ourselves? God, I might break a nail.'

'You're coming with us?' Holly asks Artemis, surprised.

Artemis nods. After more than two weeks of losing her to Juliet, Artemis plans to take full advantage of their newly resurrected friendship - he isn't going to let her out of his sight.

Holly smiles at him.

Juliet raises a delicate eyebrow, feeling herself becoming superfluous. 'I'll just go grab Butler then, shall I? You have any bags, Holly?'

'What? Oh yeah, all those clothes. Come help me carry them, Artemis.'

The boy wrinkles his nose.

'It'll be good for you. Just think: if ever we need to hop onto a moving train again...' Holly winks at him.

'Fine, yes, coming.'

Luggage successfully loaded, Holly, Juliet, Butler and Artemis squash themselves in around the mattress and bags and head back into town.

Everything goes swimmingly until they get to the mattress.

'Ugh, God, Holly, did you have to get a double? You're tiny, a single would have been more than enough,' Juliet grunts as she and Holly manoeuvre the futon into the lift.

Butler laughs to see them struggle.

'I like to stretch out, okay?' Holly defends herself, invisible behind the mattress.

'Artemis, you're skinnier than me, hop in there with her so she has someone to help her. Dom and I'll take the stairs and meet you,' Juliet motions to the boy.

'Oh great, thanks, Artemis'll be tons of help,' comes Holly's disembodied voice.

'I got us into that train, didn't I?' Artemis huffs, cramming himself into the lift.

'Debatable,' Holly laughs as the doors close. She stands on her tiptoes, pulling down the edge of the futon and peering over it. 'Hey, there,' her eyes crinkle as she grins at him.

He smiles to see the top of her head poking out like a little girl in a blanket fort on the kitchen floor. 'You're ridiculous,' he tells her.

She laughs again and drops back onto her heels as they ding to a stop.

'Did you two really need to pick the top floor?' Butler asks as he and Juliet appear on the other side of the lift doors. 'My Kevlar is killing me.'

'Best view,' says Holly, while she and Artemis struggle to push the mattress out into the hall. Butler grabs the edge and pulls it out with one firm tug. Holly, once more visible, crosses her arms.

'I want to be a two metre plus man with muscles of steel. Life would be so much easier.'

Butler ruffles her hair in passing as he and Juliet carry the futon into the flat. 'Keep eating your broccoli and you never know,' he calls from inside.

Holly and Artemis share a sceptical look.

'That it then?' Butler asks as they deposit the futon on Holly's floor.

'Until we get more furniture ,' Juliet grins at Butler's less than ecstatic expression. 'Hey, this is the price you pay to have your little sister living close by.'

'True,' Butler hugs her to him with one arm. 'And I've missed you.'

'Looks like I arrived just in time, too. Poor Holly.'

'She's doing a lot better. And you're right, you got here just in time. Though I'm not sure Artemis would agree. I think he was hoping she'd gradually just forget about moving out as time went by.'

'I bet he did,' Juliet laughs. 'But this'll be good for her.'

'I think so,' Butler nods, 'especially with you around to keep her entertained.'

'You make me feel like a video game.'

'But one with excellent graphics,' Butler kisses the top of her head. 'Come on, let's go puncture the romantic tension.'

Juliet giggles. 'I've missed you too, big brother.'

He smiles down at her.

* * *

After dinner that night, Holly returns to her room, wanting nothing more than to curl up with a book until she falls asleep, something which won't be far off. At long last she is learning to sleep through the night.

Instead, she opens her door to find Trouble Kelp waiting for her, next to three large packing boxes.

'Trouble,' she blinks. Foaly has been calling regularly enough, chattering away, with Mulch occasionally putting in an appearance, but Trouble she hasn't seen since the night he took her Book. 'It's good to see you,' she tells him, truthfully.

He gives her an uncertain smile. 'Sorry this took me so long, things got kinda busy. But I wanted to be the one to deliver it. It – this - is your stuff,' he explains unnecessarily.

'That's great! And don't worry about it, I've only just found a flat as it is.'

'Really? Oh. Well, that's lucky, I guess. Is it nice?' He shuffles self consciously.

'Yeah, it's fantastic. I mean it's pretty small, but then so was my place in Haven City. And this one's got a fantastic view.'

'Good. That's great. Really great.'

'Trouble –' Holly gnaws on her lip, 'Trouble, please, sit down. Do you have a minute? I've missed you. It's been weeks. I really would like to talk to you. Please.'

Trouble swallows, looking up at her face. His heart breaks a little, remembering when he used to look down. 'Sure, of course I have a minute. I've... I've missed you too,' he says. _Understatement of the year,_ he thinks.

She grins at him. 'So, tell me about things. How's Vinyáya? No.1? Any good gossip?'

Trouble rolls his eyes. 'Vinyáya's fine, in great form. No.1's good too, he's been asking about you. I'm going to have to get him a surface visa before he turns someone into a newt or something.'

Holly giggles, imagining No.1's wide, innocent eyes as he holds up some poor office worker by their newly grown tail.

'Oh! Lili Frond got together with Chix Verbil.'

'You mean for the night?'

'No, I mean seriously. They've been together for almost a month now.'

'Wow...' Holly blinks, she hasn't realised that she's been away so long. 'Has it really been that long?'

'Longer.' He knows she's talking about herself, not Lili and Chix.

Holly shakes her head.

There's a knock at the door and Artemis enters before Holly answers. 'Holly, do you have –' he pauses. 'Commander.'

'Fowl.' Trouble rises from his seat.

Holly pulls a face at the tension that is only too palpable in the room.

'Trouble came by to drop off my things,' she tells Artemis.

'Did he now?' Artemis raises an eyebrow, instantly the chilly, predatory man she had been forgetting he could be. 'Did you bring her Book back as well?'

Trouble flushes, 'You know I couldn't –'

'No,' Artemis smiles his vampire smile, 'you couldn't.' His face hardens. Holly has been doing so well lately; the last thing she needs is this buffoon and all her old things to remind her, yet again, of what she has lost. He will not see her made unhappy by some bumbling, be-muscled Recon thug.

'Artemis,' Holly stands, crossing her arms. She speaks in her old voice, her 'I-love-you-but-so-help-me-Frond-I-am-going-to-kill-you' voice. His lips twitch, he's missed that voice. It reminds him of when times were simpler.

'Look, Fowl, I came to see Holly. This is a personal call; she doesn't need a chaperone.'

Artemis raises both his eyebrows this time. 'This is my house, I go where I please. Besides, the last time you called on Holly, it was hardly –'

'Artemis, cut it out,' Holly closes in on him. 'You made your point, you don't need to be rude.'

'What point?' Trouble nearly spits out. 'There's a reason to his attitude problem? I thought it was just how he came.'

Holly sighs. 'With Artemis, there's always a point.' _And this time it's to show that he would've taken better care of me than you did, _she thinks. 'But be that as it may, you don't have to sink to his level and start acting like a child as well. You're both impossible,' she glares.

Artemis, undaunted by Holly's glare, sits down on one of the chairs, lounging with his legs stretched out in front of him and eyeing Trouble frostily. He is a perfect portrait of violence just waiting to happen. Trouble frowns; he doesn't remember the boy being quite this aggressive.

Unconsciously, Holly leans closer to Artemis putting a hand on his arm.

Trouble looks at them, seeing clearly, perhaps for the first time, how close they really are. His mouth tightens around his sorrow. 'I'd better go,' he says.

'No,' Holly's hand presses down on Artemis' sleeve, 'stay. We were only just getting started.'

Trouble shakes his head. 'I'll get Foaly to let me know next time he calls. We can talk then. I should be getting back anyway; you wouldn't believe the paperwork I have.' He reaches up to touch her cheek, swallowing his sorrow. 'I'll see you soon, Holly. It was good to talk to you. Thanks.'

'You too, Trouble,' Holly nods, watching as he disappears into the night. Her heart gives a little lurch as she catches sight of the full moon hanging bright above them. She swallows on a dry throat and turns on Artemis, the easiest target when she is feeling fragile. 'What in Frond's name got into you, Artemis? You were _so rude._'

Artemis shrugs, his face still cold and closed.

'Artemis, I am waiting for an explanation here.' Holly crosses her arms and taps her foot. 'And it better be good or I am going to rip you a new one.'

'Must you be so vulgar?' Artemis asks.

'_Artemis._'

'He makes you unhappy,' Artemis snaps. 'He makes you remember.'

Holly pauses, taken aback by this. She had thought he was just being territorial. Then she frowns, 'What about Foaly? He makes me remember and you're perfectly fine with him.'

'I like Foaly,' Artemis admits. 'Besides, he's... well, he's positive, he doesn't try to drag you down with guilt trips and Council regulations.'

'Not everyone has the choice or the luxury of being able to blow off the Council.'

Artemis' sceptical look tells her exactly what he thinks of that.

Holly sighs. 'Think what you like, Artemis, but Trouble is doing his best. But now, if you don't mind, I am tired and I want to go to bed.' She doesn't try to be subtle about dismissing him.

He stands, straightening his trousers. 'Goodnight,' he says, still frosty.

Repenting a little, she takes hold of his sleeve. 'Goodnight, Arty.'

Artemis gives her the tiniest of smiles.

Holly runs her hands through her hair as the door closes behind him. She stares out into the night, standing fully in the light of the moon. Grief wells up inside her again. How had she not known the moon was full? She has never not known before. Even kilometres below ground, the tug of the full moon can be felt - calling, calling.

Like a sleepwalker, she follows the path its light makes, going out to stand on the balcony. She wants to feel the ache, the yearning. She wants to feel magic surge in her veins, pulling her like a tide.

'How can I feel nothing?' she asks aloud. '_How?_'

Silence is the only answer she gets.

And then the knock at the door. Artemis enters, already gesticulating with the book in his hand.

'No, Holly, I simply can't –' he breaks off when he catches sight of her face.

'What's the matter?' He comes to stand behind her, watching the chilly light of the moon flicker over her face. It shines cold and metallic along the ridges of her cheek bones, turning her skin to stormy water. As though she is something much more ancient and much more powerful than a slight human woman. 'Are you unhappy?'

'Not at all,' she replies, cold as the light in which she stands.

'Holly.'

'What, Artemis? What do you want me to say? Yes, I'm unhappy. So what? What can you do about it?'

'We are trying to find a cure,' Artemis replies evenly, suppressing the twinge of guilt that accompanies this off-white lie.

Holly sighs, resting her chin on her hands. 'I know. I _know. _And I'm grateful.'

Again, that twinge of guilt.

'Is it Trouble?' His voice hardens.

Holly laughs, but without humour. 'No, it's not Trouble. It's... it's a full moon, Artemis. This used to be special. I used to hear music drowning my mind and feel the world rushing in my blood. Now I am deaf and feel nothing. Now all I have is the knowledge that I _should _feel something and an ache, knowing that I don't. It _hurts,_ not to feel. It _hurts._' She pauses. 'Frond, that doesn't even make sense.'

She turns to him then, 'I keep thinking it'll get easier. It's been how long? A month? More? And sometimes I think it is. I know that it is. But then... but then things like this...' she stares out into the night, unable to speak, struck mute by the force of all she has lost.

* * *

Holly wakes first. Artemis sleeps beside her, curled up on her many pillows. It reminds her of her first few nights, when she had been terrified of spending the night alone. Once again his hair sticks up every which way, his collar is crumpled, and he's stolen all the duvet. Once again she has fallen asleep scared to be alone and he has stayed. She brushes his hair back from his face.

He came in with a book, she remembers. Holly peers over the edge of the bed, searching. Where has it gotten to? Aha.

_Alcools._ She's seen him with it before. Curious, she opens it in the middle and rolls her eyes. Poetry. Of course. _At least it's in French and not a language I can't speak any longer, _she thinks bitterly.

_Cut that out._

_Right. Sorry, s_he nods to herself then makes a face. _Frond, I'm becoming a schizophrenic. _

Shaking her head she begins to read.

Artemis wakes up to find her sitting next to him, utterly absorbed in his book. 'What time is it?' he asks, blearily.

Holly doesn't look up from the book she's stolen. 'You know, Artemis, these poems are really depressing. Why are you reading this?'

'Apollinaire is a classic poet, credited as the forefather of the surrealist movement in literature. They're beautiful.'

'But they're so full of regret. He falls in love and then he regrets it. If his memories are only going to make him miserable, why does he bother falling love at all? Isn't the happiness worth the pain?'

'I wouldn't know; is it?' He props himself up on his elbows, watching her face.

Holly frowns. She thinks about all the memories she's been clinging to, the past she's been wishing she could return to. She thinks of the moon hanging swollen and silent above her. She looks at the pale face before her, the rising sun bringing out the faintest gold in his cheeks, the violet under his eyes, the blue of his veins. 'Yes,' she says, 'it is.'


	9. Chapter 9

Trying to be a bit quicker on the updating front. Wish me luck! Fluff ahead...

And, as always, multiple thank yous! to ilex-ferox.

* * *

Chapter Nine: A Couch, Among Other Things

'I have found us a couch,' Juliet bounds into Holly's room, 'and it is _awesome._'

Holly raises her eyebrows. 'And where exactly did you find this couch?'

'I went down to Blackberry Fair,' Juliet grins crookedly. 'I wasn't expecting to find anything but then there it was, just sitting there! It was so perfect I bought it on the spot. It's down in the front hall, come and see!'

More than a little fearful, Holly follows Juliet downstairs.

'You're kidding,' Holly says when she catches sight of the new addition to their home.

'Nuh uh, isn't it great?'

'Actually... yeah, it is,' Holly laughs.

'You do realise that this isn't an antique?' Artemis asks from his perch on an arm rest.

'Obviously. I'm not an idiot, Arty,' Juliet flips her ponytail over one shoulder.

The couch isn't at all Holly's usual style, and she wouldn't have thought it to be Juliet's, nonetheless, she has to admit it has character. Vaguely in the style of the late 20th century, dark wooden feet support a massive stretch of turquoise velveteen. It makes no attempts at being historically correct, more like a flamboyant set piece in a 1970s production of an Oscar Wilde play than anything else.

Holly sprawls across the seat, unable to touch both ends at once. 'It's huge!'

'That's the best part. Think about it, a few pillows and we are _set _for all night marathons of gnome wrestling championships!'

Artemis cringes, 'It's so gaudy.'

'I know!' Juliet crows. 'It's the last thing anyone's going to expect in our living room.'

'Jesus! What is that _thing_?' Butler enters, carrying a plate of sandwiches.

'Our new couch,' Juliet waggles her eyebrows, 'which, brother mine, needs to be delivered to our flat.'

Butler rolls his eyes. 'Can't you ever do anything on a small scale? What about a nice little loveseat or something? Why something with enough velveteen to make a circus tent? It's enormous.'

'Cowards, all of you!' Juliet thumps down beside Holly. 'At least you like it, Holly. That's all that really matters.'

Holly burrows further into the velveteen, 'I love it.'

Butler groans, 'I shudder to think what you'll buy for a bed, Juliet.'

* * *

'The couch isn't going to fit into the lift,' Butler points out as they stand in the lobby the next day. They are surrounded by a cluster of mismatched chairs, a bright yellow bookshelf and a tiny kitchen table which - since being adopted by Juliet - has gone from dark pine to sky blue.

'What a pity,' Artemis snaps his fingers.

Juliet shakes her head, 'Well then, we'll just have to carry it up.'

'You're kidding me,' Butler stares at his sister in something akin to horror.

Juliet pats her brother's stomach, 'Don't worry Dom, it'll be good for you. You need the exercise.'

'I'm so glad I have you looking out for me,' he monotones.

'You and I'll take the couch, Holly and Artemis can worry about everything else,' Juliet reaches down to grab hold of the couch's underside.

Holly eyes the clutter then Artemis with evident misgivings but says nothing, more than glad not to have to deal with the monstrous couch.

As Juliet and Butler struggle up the stairs, Artemis shakes his head, helping Holly stack chairs into the lift. 'I can't believe she actually bought that eyesore.'

Holly laughs, 'At least it's interesting.'

As the lift doors close, he turns to look at her over the pile of furniture between them. 'Do you like it? The furniture, I mean.'

Holly shrugs, 'I'm usually more of a browns and greens kind of girl - if I put thought into it at all - but this is kind of nice. I think it reminds her of Mexico - she was showing me photos the other day - things are so colourful there, never mind sunny... I think the rain here will get her down.'

'It's colourful here,' Artemis defends his homeland.

Holly laughs, 'There are more colours in the world than just green, Artemis.'

Artemis chuckles ruefully, 'Touché.'

'And really, I... they're so fresh, all these colours. You know, clean and bright. Just what you need for a new beginning,' she smiles.

'I wonder what colour she'll paint the walls?' Artemis asks jokingly.

'We've been talking about periwinkle,' Holly replies in all seriousness, but her eyes twinkle.

Artemis rolls his eyes. 'Why am I not surprised?'

* * *

Artemis and Holly have moved all their various odds and ends in by the time Butler and Juliet appear at the top of the stairs.

Holly hurries to help the gasping siblings while Artemis clears a space in the tiny living room.

'I hope you never have to leave in a hurry,' he calls to them from inside the flat, eyeing the dimensions of the main room and mentally calculating the remainder once the couch is in place.

Juliet wants to laugh, but hasn't got the breath to.

'Oh God,' she collapses onto the sofa as soon as they put it down, 'it's a good thing you're so beautiful, Couch, or I would have left you back on the fourth floor.'

Holly brings Butler a glass of water, patting his arm. 'You okay?' she asks quietly, under the cover of Artemis and Juliet bickering over furniture rearrangements.

He nods. 'Yes, just a little winded,' he gives her a lopsided smile. 'Not what I once was.'

Holly shrugs, 'Still better than most.'

Butler hugs her to him with one arm. 'Though, speaking of me, I've been meaning to ask you - any thoughts about taking Artemis' father up on that job offer? I mean, I'm assuming, since you've been letting me teach you...'

In truth, Holly hasn't really thought about it, there's been so much else taking up space in her head. She makes a snap decision, a result of the sunshine and camaraderie of the past few days. 'Yes, I'll do it. I need the money after all.'

'Good,' the giant grins down at her, 'that's certainly a load off my mind. I had no idea how I was going to convince Artemis to replace me if it wasn't with you.'

'You're all he's ever known, Butler; you can't blame him for trying to hold onto you.' Holly reaches up to pat his cheek but has to settle for his collar bone instead. 'Besides, you're more a father to him than anything else, really.'

'A father that takes orders,' Butler says.

'Nearly everyone takes orders from Artemis,' Holly points out.

'Pardon?' Artemis registers his name while trying to explain to Juliet that a piano is now a physical impossibility in this room.

'You've got yourself a new bodyguard,' Butler says.

Immediately, Artemis' eyes turn to Holly. She crosses her arms and shifts her weight onto one foot, an eyebrow raised in defiance. It's a posture he associates with their past, after he's suggested something particularly outrageous and she's telling him exactly where he can stuff it. Knowing she's about to tell him off is reassuring in some strange way.

'Only for outings,' she specifies. 'You're on your own inside the Manor grounds.' She pauses, 'And I won't do shopping excursions either. The tailor can poke you with as many pins as he wants.'

'You're too kind,' Artemis returns.

'What can I say?' Holly lifts her chin, 'You bring out the best in those around you.'

Butler grimaces. 'Yes, I can see this is going to work out wonderfully.'

But Holly is smiling.

* * *

'I didn't realise, when I said yes, that you needed someone so soon,' Holly grumbles three days later as she stands with arms outstretched to get a suit altered.

'Well,' Butler smiles, 'you could hardly have expected me to say as much when I knew the effect it would have on your decision.'

Holly rolls her eyes, 'You're as bad as Artemis.'

Butler shrugs, unashamed. 'I do what I have to, to keep him safe.'

'You could go with him yourself,' Holly points out. 'That would keep him safe. And better fed. I hope you realise there's no way I am cooking for him, too.'

Butler shakes his head, 'Holly, I'm really no longer young enough to protect him, should he need it. You've always kept him safe before, you might as well get paid for it now.'

Holly thinks back to all the times she's saved Artemis. 'But before... things were different before. I could do more. What if now I'm not enough either? I'm not trained like you are. I'm...' Holly is visualising Artemis on the floor of the gorilla cage and her heart is doing flip flops. Like her younger self, she feels butterflies take her stomach by storm. 'Butler, I can't do this. This is ridiculous, who am I trying to kid here?'

Recognising that, this time, Holly's unwillingness stems from an entirely different source than previously, Butler puts a hand on her shoulder. 'Holly, look at me. Do you really think I'd let Artemis go off with just anyone - no matter how much we both liked her? I'll come with you the first few times and, between the two of us, everything will be absolutely fine. Besides, things aren't like they were before. He's going to an academic conference, not brunch with Britva.'

'You're coming too?' Holly relaxes visibly. 'Oh good,' she says in a small voice which doesn't, in any way, describe her relief.

'Though, I still don't see why I can't just wear my own clothes,' she says after a minute, pulling at the hem of her suit jacket and getting _tsk_ed at by the shop assistant.

'Just think of it as another uniform.'

Holly raises an eyebrow, 'An _Armani_ uniform?'

'Your budget's a lot bigger now,' Butler shrugs, smiling.

Holly snorts. 'And can this uniform vibrate out of the visible spectrum?'

Butler laughs. 'No, but it _can_ double as dinner wear.'

'Oh good,' Holly replies sarcastically, 'I was really worried about that one. Though,' she sighs dramatically, 'black does absolutely nothing for my colouring.'

'I'm sure Juliet will have a snappy tie ready for you before we go.'

'What about sunglasses? Do I get a snazzy pair of secret agent sunglasses as well?'

'They'll impede your vision.'

'My vision is better than yours has ever been, buddy,' Holly, at last free from the assistant and his pins, crosses her arms.

'No sunglasses unless absolutely necessary.'

Holly pouts.

* * *

Butler and Holly return to the Manor after the alterations - something Holly is not best pleased about.

'I'm all moved out as of yesterday,' Holly points out as they roll up the drive, 'and we don't leave until ten tonight. You could just drop me at the flat and I could come back to the Manor later.'

'There are still a few things I want to go over with you.'

'Of course,' she says resignedly.

'Besides,' Butler looks positively mischievous, 'Myles has been asking after you.'

Holly rolls her eyes. 'I wish you guys would stop encouraging him. He's coming up to his fifth birthday. I'm coming up to my _eighty_-fifth.'

'And Artemis is coming up to his seventeenth,' Butler points out, seemingly at random. 'Well, twentieth.'

'I'm getting out of the car, _now_,' Holly says.

Juliet is waiting for them inside the entrance hall. 'There you two are! I have been waiting for_ever._ Now, Holly, I got you a tie because those suits are _so _boring and I want you to be the best dressed bodyguard there. I have a reputation to keep up, you know. Also, I saw this awesome pair of sunglasses; though they'll be kind of pointless tonight, they'll look great on you tomorrow. And don't let Dom give you any sass about the glasses, they won't impede anything.'

Holly laughs, taking the bag Juliet offers her. 'Thanks, Juliet.'

'No problem. Accessorising the world is what I'm here for. Don't even worry about it,' Juliet smiles.

'Though,' Holly frowns, 'this is a conference on general relativity, just how many other bodyguards are there going to be?'

'Ah,' Juliet shrugs, 'one or two. Artemis may be the youngest, but he isn't the only crime lord with an interest in science.'

'Just how illegal is he these days?' Holly asks.

Butler purses his lips. 'Ten percent? If that. He's more of a dabbler in crime these days than a lord.'

'Fabulous.' Holly crosses her arms.

'Artemis is Artemis, Holly,' Butler shrugs. 'Some things can't be changed.'

Holly makes a face.

'Come on,' Butler takes her by the arm, 'let's go find you some guns.'

'I love how you say that in the plural,' Holly laughs.

Six hours later, in the warm summer twilight, Holly stands on the steps of Fowl Manor beside Butler. Both are impeccably turned out in black Armani though Holly, laughing, has added Juliet's gift of a gold silk tie. It's ostentatious but it makes her smile and consequently relax. Although being fully kitted out with an iris cam, a throat mike, two (disguised) Neutrinos, a Swiss-made watch that is also a bomb and four shrike throwing knives, also helps her loosen up. If she's honest, it's the purloined fairy technology that's most comforting. Even if it does make her nostalgic. She's caught herself countless times reaching to adjust a helmet that she isn't wearing.

'You okay?' Butler asks.

'Yes,' she shrugs, straightening her jacket, 'I just keep wondering where my LEP uniform is.'

Butler nods in understanding as the front door opens.

'Sorry I'm late,' Artemis comes out, followed by his father. 'Myles borrowed some of my notes for his bedtime reading.'

Holly snickers. 'You're not serious?'

Artemis shrugs, 'Actually, I'm surprised he hasn't asked for them earlier.'

Holly stares at him.

'I'm joking, I'm joking,' Artemis waves his hands.

Holly stares at him.

'Oh stop that, I have made jokes before,' he huffs.

'That's true,' Holly agrees. 'Yes, I definitely remember you making one a couple years ago.'

Artemis purses his lips. 'Shall we go?'

'Not yet,' Holly shakes a finger at him, 'Someone may have studded that car with bombs in the past twenty minutes since Butler last checked it, I've got to make sure it's safe!'

'So glad to see you're taking your job seriously,' Artemis follows her down to the car.

'Hey, if this car explodes I'm dead too, don't forget.'

'Well, at least that tie would be reduced to cinders.'

'Watch it there, Arty, this was a gift.'

'Don't worry, I realise that; I give your taste much more credit.'

Butler and Artemis Senior watch as the other two disappear behind the Bentley.

'I can't believe how relaxed he is around her,' comments Artemis' father quietly. 'He's never that forthcoming with me.'

Butler smiles fondly in the direction of their bickering voices. 'He and Holly have gone through a lot together. She's put up with him at his worst; which, where she's concerned, has been bad enough to make even your ancestors cringe. No offence, sir.'

'They're not just co-workers, are they?' the other man is unruffled by the allusion to his family.

Butler shakes his head. 'No, they're... well, they're the most mismatched pair that's ever existed, but I doubt you'll find two people closer to each other in this, or any other, world. She'll make him the man you want him to be.'

'Did he really kidnap her?' he asks.

Butler blinks, wondering where he's found that out. 'Yes, but that isn't the worst of it.'

'Oh, Artemis,' his father sighs, staring out towards the car. 'I've done wrong by him, haven't I, Butler?'

'Yes, sir,' Butler replies, but not unkindly.

Artemis Senior smiles ruefully. 'At least you're honest with me.'

'With all due respect sir, Artemis is my employer, not you. His welfare has taken up most of my adult life so, when it comes to rectifying what has made him unhappy, you'll forgive me if I'm a little blunt.'

Artemis Senior looks the giant man in the eye. Standing on the steps of his ancestral home, surrounded by his family, Artemis Fowl I suddenly feels completely alone. His eldest son, his brilliant first-born, will forever be a mystery to him. He is the boy's father, yes, but here is the man who cared for him, because his father was too busy; there is the girl who shaped him, because his father was gone. His eldest son, his brilliant first-born is not, and never has been, his. He feels a sudden, gaping sense of loss.

'I love him, Butler, I really do.'

'I know, sir, and he loves you. Very much.'

'But I want to know him as well. Am I too late for that?'

Butler thinks about everything that this man will never know about his son. 'For some things – many things - yes, you're too late. But, in fairness to you, some of those things you would never have known anyway. You couldn't have known. And that isn't your fault.'

'Things like Holly Short.'

'Things exactly like Holly Short.'

Artemis Senior is silent for a moment before looking Butler in the eyes again. 'Thank you, Butler, for doing all that I couldn't.'

Butler swallows, knowing that he has, to all intents and purposes, taken the place in Artemis' life that this other man should have had. 'It's been the greatest honour of my life, sir. He's done us both proud.'

'Butler, are you coming or what?' Holly calls from the car. 'I know this may come as a shock, but there aren't any booby traps.'

'Though I was tempted to plant one myself, if only to dispose of that hideous tie,' Artemis adds.

'Leave my tie out of this; it's got character.'

'You don't need any more character, you've got too much as it is.'

'You're giving me the warm fuzzies, Arty, you really are. Now, unless you want me to speed the entire way to the airport, _get in the car._'

Artemis gets in the car.

'You're going as well, Butler?' Artemis Senior asks.

Butler smiles, 'Well, someone needs to protect Holly, after all.'

Artemis Senior frowns. 'From what?'

'Your son.'

* * *

Holly gets them to the airport in record time. Looking, if possible, even paler than usual, Artemis steps out of the passenger seat with shaking knees. 'I thought the idea behind hiring you was to preserve my life, not hasten my demise,' he calls to Holly over the roof of the car.

'Are you doubting my driving skills, Fowl?' Holly laughs at his pale face.

'Wouldn't _dream _of it.'

'Good,' Holly hands him his bag, 'then let's check in.'

'I have to carry this?' Artemis eyes his luggage.

Holly crosses her arms and Butler sighs, recognising the beginning of another argument.

'Let's get one thing straight, Arty: I'm neither your mother nor Butler. You're hiring me to protect you, not be your maid. I'm not carrying your luggage. And neither will Butler. It's time you learnt to be a little more self-sufficient. And if you don't like that, well then, fire me.'

'I am self-sufficient - I am one of the highest grossing individuals on this planet.'

'Don't play dumb, Artemis, you know what I mean.'

Artemis sighs and picks up his bag. Playing dumb has never been something he could keep up for very long. 'This is what I get for hiring an ex-civil servant. The adjective is so misplaced.'

Holly just laughs.

Contrary to Artemis' dire warnings, they board the plane, fly, and land at Heathrow without difficulty. Though originally planning to fly there in the Fowl jet, Artemis' plans had to be re-thought when Holly flatly refused to take a private plane. She'd been doing research on fuel emissions.

'When you get the Lear to run off solar power or hydrogen cells or any other clean fuel of your choice, I will gladly fly you to Mars. Until then, if we have to fly, we are taking public flights.'

Artemis had, at first, simply refused. Then, seeing that she wasn't joking, had argued. And, finally, acquiesced. Holly can be more than a little terrifying when she wants to be.

Now, fresh off the plane, smelling of stale air and other people, he hopes she appreciates the sacrifices he makes for her.

'That wasn't so bad now, was it, Arty?' Holly asks as she drives them into town.

She snickers at his wordless look of loathing.

Butler chuckles. 'All the more reason for you to go green, Artemis,' he points out.

'Yes, yes, mock me; I don't mind.'

'At least it wasn't eight hours on the luggage rack of a train,' Holly comments as she pulls up in front of their hotel.

'Are you _still_ bitter about that?'

'I will always be bitter about that,' Holly informs him.

Artemis and Butler share a quick smile, thinking back to their coffees on the beach.

Holly catches the tail-end of their expressions and frowns. 'What's so funny? Am I missing something here?'

'Nothing,' Artemis replies airily, picking up his bag without complaint, 'we were just remembering our trip to the library that same day.'

'I still say you were at the beach,' Holly hands the key over to the valet. 'That is just the sort of thing you would do to me.'

'O ye of little faith,' Artemis shakes his head in mock sadness.

'With good reason,' Butler points out.

'Et tu, Brutus?'

* * *

Holly leans against the wall, scanning the room from behind her enormous sunglasses. Juliet has gone all out; the round lenses are almost bigger than Holly's face. However, the Royal Society lecture hall is so brightly lit that Holly feels entirely justified.

'You look like a deranged insect,' Artemis tells her when she first puts them on that morning.

'Better that than a member of the undead,' she shrugs.

Suddenly, on the far side of the room, her wandering eyes catch sight of an oh-so-familiar head of hair. Holly groans. Of all the people.

She fiddles with her iris-cam for a second, zooming in on the mass of blonde curls. Yes, no doubt about it, Holly's least favourite child genius, now quite the young lady, is sitting across the room from her.

'Fabulous. Just wonderful. Like my day wasn't d'Arvitting brilliant enough already,' Holly mumbles to herself.

'Say again?' Her microphone has picked up her grumbling and relayed it to Butler.

'Nothing, Butler. Just saw an old friend, that's all,' Holly directs her eyes back across the room.

'Ah, yes. Minerva,' says Butler as the picture comes up on his screen in the hotel. 'She has gotten better you know, Holly.'

'Sure, and I know a swear toad who's never said d'Arvit.'

'I take that to mean you're feeling unconvinced?'

'Bingo, Big Man.'

Butler chuckles, 'Don't worry, you won't have to go anywhere near her until dinner tonight.'

'Dinner tonight?' Holly repeats. 'Don't I just stand in a corner and watch all these indescribably brilliant people munching?'

'Well,' admits Butler, 'usually that would be the case, but Artemis put you down as a guest instead of employee. So, see? It's a good thing that suit can do double duty.'

'_Guest_?' Holly's voice rises a few decibels, enough to actually make a slight whispering sound.

'He thought about it long and hard. Wasn't sure which would rile you up more: standing there watching everyone eat or having to make polite conversation.'

'And which is this supposed to be? The piss me off or butter me up option?'

'I don't know that he ever made up his mind as to which you'd actually prefer. Mainly, I think he decided that at least you'd be in a better mood if you ate something.'

'Clever man.' Holly makes a face, 'Though, if I've got to eat across from Minerva Take-Me-Now-Artemis Paradizo, it's possible that I might rather go hungry.'

'Feeling a bit territorial, are we?'

'Not at all, more like overly aware of my gag reflex.'

Butler guffaws. 'Ah, Holly, have I ever told you how glad I am that Artemis kidnapped you?'

'No, actually.' Artemis chooses that moment to look back at her and Holly smiles at him.

'Very.'

Artemis returns her smile before returning to the lecturer. 'Sometimes - but this is very, very rarely you understand - I am too, Butler,' she replies.

Back in the hotel, Butler smiles to himself as he watches the footage coming in from her iris cam.

* * *

Holly moves forward to join Artemis as he rises from his seat. 'So, all set to travel through wormholes back to the Jurassic, Mud Boy?' she asks him, referring to the contents of the lecture.

'You understood what he was saying?' Artemis asks, then dodges her slap.

'Huh, you Mud Men think you're such hot stuff; our warlocks have been working with wormholes since before Frond. We learn this stuff in primary school.'

Artemis raises an eyebrow.

'Well, okay,' she admits, 'sometimes, when I go visit N° 1, Qwan doesn't differentiate between pupil and innocent bystander and lectures us both.'

Artemis laughs. 'To answer your question, however: I'm relatively certain I have had quite enough time travel to last a lifetime.'

'I really hope that's true because I-'

'Artemis!' Minerva moves towards them through the crowd.

Holly sighs, giving up on her vague plans for a painless escape.

'Minerva,' Artemis leans forward to kiss the girl's cheeks.

The blonde smiles up at him prettily and Holly crosses her arms, shifting her weight onto one foot. The movement causes Minerva to catch sight of her, half-hidden behind Artemis.

'Where's Butler?' she asks. 'Isn't he with you?'

'Oh yes,' replies Artemis, 'but he stayed behind at the hotel. Holly will be coming with me from now on.'

'Holly?' Minerva spares the woman a quick look but continues directing her words at Artemis. 'She looks familiar. Is she a member of the staff at the Manor?'

Holly snorts, 'In Artemis' dreams.' She slips her sunglasses off and Minerva focuses on her with a start, eyes widening in amazement.

'Demon,' Minerva breathes.

Holly rolls her eyes. 'No. _Elf_. And not even that anymore.'

Minerva frowns, looking Holly up and down. 'But you're – you can't be –'

'Actually, I can.'

Minerva steps closer. 'Human?' she whispers. 'But how?'

'It's a long story,' Artemis tells her.

'Well, we have quite a lot of time before dinner,' the girl points out.

'Actually, he was just trying to be polite,' Holly interrupts. 'What he actually meant was: it's none of your business.'

Minerva frowns down at Holly's closed expression. 'You know, I did apologize for that kidnapping thing.'

'Really?' Holly feigns surprise, 'Oh dear, then why on earth am I not jumping up and down to be your best friend? Whatever could be the matter with me?'

'Holly-' warns Butler's voice in her ear.

She ignores him. 'If it makes you feel any better, Minerva, sometimes I _still _don't like Artemis - and he kidnapped one of us long before you ever even thought about it.'

Minerva tosses her hair in a manner vaguely reminiscent of Juliet right before she flips out. Since Holly knows she can knock this particular blonde unconscious in under a second, she finds it a lot less intimidating.

However, Artemis, never having been the bone of contention (however unacknowledged) between two women before, is finding the whole experience a little bit terrifying. For a second he wishes that Butler were there to save him – while said Butler tries, with little success, to smother his hilarity in his sleeve.

'Would you shut up?' Holly whispers to the guffawing man.

'Only when you stop acting like a jealous fourteen year old,' he manages between bursts of laughter.

'I'm nothing of the sort,' she hisses in Gnommish.

Artemis, also privy to this conversation having turned his earpiece on after the lecture, feels his stomach take up gymnastics. 'We had better be getting back,' he tells Minerva, 'but we'll see you at the dinner. A pleasure, as always.' He kisses her cheeks again in goodbye and, taking Holly by the arm, turns them both forcibly toward the exit.

'Aw, come on, Arty, it was just getting fun,' Holly trots along beside his much longer legs.

Artemis looks down his nose at her. He wishes they weren't rigged out in LEP gadgetry so that he could talk to her without an audience.

'I'll be right back, you two,' Butler reads his mind, 'nature calls. Don't kill each other while I'm gone.'

'I always forget how biting you can be with people you don't like,' Artemis comments without looking at her.

'Really? I've been pretty nasty to you - I'm surprised you forgot so quickly. Obviously, I haven't been doing it enough.'

He rolls his eyes. 'You undermine your efforts by turning around and being nice to me afterwards.'

'Tell me about it,' Holly sighs spectacularly. 'I've always been a sucker for megalomaniacs.'

They step out on the pavement and Holly immediately goes on the alert, tilting her head back fractionally to get a better look at passers-by, her eyes flicking continuously back and forth. The sun slides out from above the many clouds and lights her from behind, painting a line of gold along her jaw and down her throat. Artemis closes his eyes, stamping down on his body's automatic lurch towards her.

'I'm not a megalomaniac,' he says, eyes still closed.

'Of course not, Arty,' she replies condescendingly. 'And, for Frond's sake, open your eyes before you walk into something. What are you doing?' Holly pulls him out of the path of a fast approaching streetlamp.

Stumbling a little, Artemis looks down at her again. This is the wrong choice. Still shining like polished bronze, she has just enough time to give him a quizzical look before he throws caution to the wind and kisses her again. Her lips are chapped – she left her water bottle in the hotel that morning.

She breaks away first this time, but stays close enough that he can feel her lips move as she speaks. 'Don't push your luck, Fowl,' she whispers.

'Sorry,' he whispers back, clearly anything but.

'I guess I'm not really helping,' she gives him a lopsided smile, stepping back properly. He suppresses the urge to reach for her.

'No,' he comments as they continue walking, 'you're rather the queen of mixed signals.'

Holly nods. 'I know. I'm sorry. You know... well, how I feel. I just need time.'

'And space,' he allows his voice to border on the plaintive, knowing she will find it endearing.

She laughs. 'Yes, and space.'

They walk for a moment in silence.

'Thank you, though,' she swallows audibly, looking up at him. 'You're being much better about this than I thought you would. It's... it's really good of you, I know this is...'

'Awkward? Insufferable? Excruciating?' Artemis keeps his expression politely inquiring to mask his exultation. She is so moral she makes him feel guilty by simply existing, it's time he gave her a taste of her own medicine, whether or not she recognises it as such. Besides, there's nothing like a bit of guilt to hasten a decision.

'All of the above,' Holly laughs. 'You're one of a kind, Artemis Fowl,' she grins.

He smiles his vampire smile.


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

My laptop LIVES!!! Hurrah! To celebrate, here's another chapter. And can you say fluff? Anyone, anyone?:P

As always, ilex-ferox rocks my socks.

* * *

Chapter Ten: Massive

Dinner that night goes better than expected.

At the outset, Artemis, sitting beside Holly and - through some cruel whim of fate - across from Minerva, fears the worst. To all intents and purposes, however, Holly seems to have come to terms with whatever had been bothering her earlier. She tries to tell herself that her newfound zen has nothing to do with Artemis' earlier behaviour. Artemis doesn't bother wasting time lying to himself.

Unfortunately, Holly has difficulty convincing herself. _Look, I just don't like her. She's a brat, whatever Butler says. That's why I was so rude. Not to mention, she did kidnap N°1 not too long ago. _

_Sure, but if she was a brat with a pash on anyone other than Artemis, you'd still at least be civil._

_Not at all. Artemis has nothing to do with this._

_Any minute now your nose is going to be longer than this table._

_Whatever. I'm not lying. And I'm not jealous._

_Yes, you are, and no, obviously you're not anymore. Artemis was pretty clear about his preferences._

_Oh shut _up. Holly chews her unlucky asparagus spear with unnecessary violence.

Artemis meanwhile, blissfully unaware to Holly's raging inner monologue, takes her apparent complaisance as a licence to enjoy himself. Besides, a little healthy competition never hurt anyone, right? Minerva, thrilled at the return of his attention, is more brilliant than usual. Even Holly, between bouts of arguing with herself, is entertained; quietly smirking at the girl's wasted efforts; which of course immediately sends her into another round of internal civil war.

When dinner is finished, Butler comes down to join them and even Holly has to admit that Minerva seems genuinely happy to see him.

'Butler!' The blonde throws her arms around his middle, her hands not quite meeting across his back. 'It's been so long. I miss your cottage!'

Butler ruffles her curls fondly, 'You'll have to come over to the Manor and beat me at chess someday soon.'

Minerva laughs, tinkling and bell-like, 'Don't be so silly, I didn't always win.'

'You're too young to be going senile, Minerva,' Butler chides her, grinning.

She shrugs, 'I'm just trying to be polite.'

Holly swallows a few choice words.

'It was so surprising to see Holly again, though,' Minerva continues, perching on the armrest of Butler's chair, 'and in such a way. What an intriguing phenomenon.'

'Yes, that's _exactly _what I said when I woke up a different species.' Holly can't help herself this time. _Who's she calling a 'phenomenon'? I am not a scientific experiment._

Minerva purses her pretty lips. 'You have to admit that from a scientific point of view-'

'See, that's the one problem with experiencing things first hand,' Holly sighs in mock-dejection, 'the fascinating scientific angle is just a tad harder to appreciate.'

'Juliet's returned from Mexico,' Butler interjects suddenly.

'Really? Oh, how lovely!' Minerva clearly does not want to drop the subject of Holly's transformation but, these days, is polite enough to let it go.

* * *

'You really dislike her, don't you?' Artemis asks Holly as, later, they take the lift back up to their rooms.

'Afraid so. I mean, yes, she's much more polite these days, and she really does seem fond of you, Butler, but, in case you've forgotten, she _did_ kidnap N°1 and then generally get in the way as we tried to rescue her. Plus she's still spoiled, nosy and just plain obnoxious.'

'_I_ kidnapped you,' Artemis points out, venturing onto shaky ground.

'Yes, and when she helps save us from Opal Koboi or escapes being eaten by trolls with me or keeps me from dying on a piece of rock lost in space and time, maybe then I'll like her better.'

Artemis feels rather chuffed for a moment until Holly continues.

'Of course, even if she _does_ do all those things, and I _do_ grow fond of her, she'll probably come up with some even more ingenious way of being cruel and untrustworthy.'

Artemis grimaces.

'Though,' comments Butler, 'perhaps it's true what they say: only those you love can hurt you.'

Outwardly, Holly is cavalier, snorting her scepticism. Inwardly, she grimaces. _They don't even need to love you- they just need to think they do._

_No, _she realises, _that's unfair. Whatever I want to think, I know that Artemis cares – in his own strange way. Besides, these days, I'm not really of any use to him; I've no magic, no gun and no shuttle, after all. _She lets out a quiet chuckle, thinking, _Frond, he really must actually like me._

Peeking at the boy in question out of the corner of her eye, Holly runs her teeth along her lower lip. _I guess, when it comes down to it, Artemis is Artemis and will always be Artemis. I'm just going to have to live with the fact that I love an untrustworthy man. _

_But then, what was I expecting? That the boy who kidnapped me would grow up to be a saint? I fell in love with a criminal. That's what he is and always has been. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be the person I love. And, despite whatever I want to tell myself, I do love him._

Holly blows out her cheeks in consternation.

_And I said _he_ had bad karma. Frond, what I must have done in my past lives._

The lift doors open, shaking Holly from her thoughts. Flustered, she follows as Butler leads the way into the corridor, unaware of Artemis watching her, smiling.

* * *

As she's getting ready for bed her communicator buzzes, rattling along the top of her dresser. She frowns down at the device; these days Artemis is about the only person who calls her on it. Surely he'd just come knocking if he wanted to talk?

'Hello?' she answers.

'Holly! It's me, Trouble,' his words come in a breathless rush, 'and I've got some fantastic news! Where are you right now?'

'London.'

'London? Why? No, never mind. The Council agreed!'

Holly blinks. 'Agreed to what?

'To keeping you on as an employee! Vinyáya and I managed to convince them that having someone above ground wouldn't be such a bad idea, especially with the recently bout of smuggling we've been having. Nothing like a crime wave to get things moving!'

Holly laughs out loud; only Trouble would be excited by a spike in illegal activity. Then the enormity of his news strikes and she shrieks, jumping up and punching the air.

Out in the living room, Artemis and Butler look up as one at the scream and, without speaking, head for her door. They enter to find her almost doubled over with excitement, her hands on her kneews, speaking Gnommish at an incredible rate. Turning to each other, they share a look of complete bafflement.

'That's_ brilliant_ news, Trouble, _thank you!_ Ugh, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that right now. Frond! I can't believe it!'

'Fowl isn't giving you problems, is he?' Trouble's voice grows cold.

'They're let- what? No, no, it's not Artemis. For once.'

Artemis catches his name but other than that is still mystified, her words are too rapid for his, out of practice, ear.

'Maybe Foaly's found a cure?' Butler suggests, doubtful.

Artemis frowns.

'When do you get back to the Manor? I've got some forms for you to sign.' Trouble, meanwhile, has already forgotten about Artemis.

'Tomorrow night. Though actually, Trouble, I've moved out. Foaly has the new address - he'll give you the coordinates. I'm living with Butler's younger sister, Juliet.'

'Something about Juliet,' Butler scowls in concentration.

'I wonder when she'll notice us standing here,' Artemis muses aloud.

'You have a roommate? Hmm, will she be out tomorrow night?'

'No, she -' Holly bites her tongue. She can hardly tell Trouble Juliet knows. 'Actually, I'm not sure. I'll ask her. But – no - you know what? I'll just stay at the Manor for a bit after we arrive and you can come there, if you want.'

'That might be better. I've got something else for you, actually, and I think it should probably be delivered at the Manor.'

Holly's eyebrows rise of their own accord, 'Well, well, well, you are full of surprises this evening. Tomorrow then, at the Manor. Towards midnight? Yeah? Excellent. See you then. And thanks again, Trouble, this is so fantastic,' Holly snaps the communicator shut, smiling from ear to ear.

'Artemis! Bu- ACK!' she jumps at the sight of them already in her doorway, falling back against her dresser, communicator clutched over her heart.

'Yes?' asks Butler, innocently.

'We heard a scream,' Artemis adds nonchalantly, by way of explaining their presence.

'Frond, I think you just took a decade off my life!' But she recovers quickly; running forward, she warps her arms as far they will go around Butler and Artemis and hugs them tightly. 'Trouble just called me! The Council decided to keep me on!'

'That's great, Holly!' Butler extricates himself and picks her up, swinging her around. She wraps her arms around his neck, grinning from ear to ear.

'Congratulations, Holly,' Artemis tries to sound like he means it. Yet another thing to keep her from him.

'I know! I can't believe he managed it, he must really have given them hell,' she sighs as Butler puts her back on the ground. 'The poor guy's probably still beating himself up about my Book.'

'I guess this means I'll have to find someone else for Artemis,' Butler phrases it as a statement, but they all understand it to be a question.

Holly looks up at the bodyguard, then over at his unruly charge. She smiles slightly. 'I doubt it, Butler. I don't think the LEP will have _masses_ for me to do. I'm sure I could manage the odd physics conference here and there.'

Artemis swallows, an unexpected rush of gratitude filling him.

'Thank you,' he says.

'Don't mention it,' Holly smiles. 'Besides, I figure I'm probably going to have to ask you for the odd favour with this job so I'll need all the leverage I can get.'

'Ah, the truth comes out,' Artemis shakes his head in mock-sadness.

'You should take it as a compliment,' Holly smacks his stomach lightly, 'though goodness knows you don't need any more hot air in that head of yours.'

'I am going to go to bed now, before you can insult me further,' Artemis sniffs, tightening his dressing gown around him with dignity.

Holly laughs, ''Night, Arty.' She takes Butler by the hand and starts jumping again. He stands still, laughing and letting his forearm rise and fall with her.

* * *

The next morning Minerva joins them for breakfast. Holly, still buzzing from Trouble's news, is so happy that, at one point, she even goes so far as to offer Minerva the salt.

'Don't you miss being... well, magical?' Minerva asks, taking the salt cellar to double as a conversation starter.

Holly shrugs, 'Sure. But there's not much I can do about it, is there? Besides, once day I might change back.'

'Really?' Minerva leans forward, still wanting the particulars of this story. 'Is it like a disease then, your humanity? Are you searching for a cure, Artemis?'

'Avidly,' replies Artemis with a marked lack of enthusiasm. This does not escape Minerva's notice.

'I'm not sure how I feel about that,' Minerva jokes, 'being compared to influenza.'

'Oh don't worry,' a little of Holly's dislike sneaks past her good humour, 'you're more of a cancer. Much more complex.'

Minerva's lips thin, but she continues brightly, 'Oh well, that's alright then. Would you like the bread knife, Holly?' she offers the utensil to the other woman as she reaches for a roll.

'Yes, thanks.'

Minerva smiles prettily.

Holly takes the knife and, cradling the roll in her other hand begins cutting into it. Just as the knife comes out the other side, the table jerks suddenly and the knife slips, cutting Holly's thumb. She drops the roll in surprise. 'Ouch!' she sticks her thumb in her mouth.

Minerva passes her a handkerchief from her bag without comment.

'Thanks,' Holly says absently, taking the cloth without thinking. She wraps her thumb in it, pressing until the bleeding slows and stops.

Unwinding the handkerchief, Holly stares at her bloodstains for a moment, and her first thought is: _Man, do I need to complete the Ritual. Trubs'll kill me for working on empty. _Then she blinks, shakes her head, and returns to the dining room of Claridges, determined not to think about it. 'Sorry, I don't know if those'll come out.' She hands the handkerchief back to Minerva.

'Don't worry about it,' Minerva replies. Artemis' eyes narrow in sudden suspicion as he watches the handkerchief vanish into the depths of her purse.

* * *

_It's a bit disturbing really, the way they talk about my internal organs,_ Holly thinks as she drives Artemis, Butler, and herself back to the airport. Artemis is on the phone to Foaly.

'We should scan her brain, I'm sure there will be abnormalities. When I had magic – Yes, I am talking about the magic I stole. No, I – Look, do you really think this is the time? Thank you,' Artemis runs his fingers along the door handle as he waits for Foaly to behave himself. 'As I was saying, when I had magic I realised that humans must once have had the same capacity for it as the People, only we have long since stopped using that portion of our brains and subsequently lost the ability. But, perhaps if we can re-stimulate that area of her brain, we could trigger a sort of graft vs. host reaction. Her genes still have trace amounts of elfin DNA sequencing – with its magic restored her body might reject the human mutations in their next replication. No, I don't know if it's safe. No – well, it's an idea isn't it? Alright, when we get back, then. No, don't worry, I know a private hospital that will work fine. No, it won't be a problem - I fund a good deal of their AIDS research. Yes. Yes... very well. Yes, I will. Goodbye.' Artemis turns the fairy-communicator-cum-ostentatious-ring right way round on his finger. 'Foaly insists I tell you he says hello. Despite the fact that he will probably be calling when we get back.'

Holly laughs. 'So, what am I rejecting exactly?'

'Right now, nothing. This is all very farfetched and DNA remodelling is hardly a bone marrow transplant, but we'll see.'

'Basically, you're saying don't get your hopes up.'

'Precisely.'

She shrugs. 'At least you're trying.'

'Mmm,' agrees Artemis.

'Oh, by the way,' Holly turns into the parking lot, 'Trouble's coming by tonight with stuff for me to sign. It's for the job. I couldn't tell him that Juliet knew, so – why am I explaining this to you? You were there.'

'Yes, I was, though you were speaking too fast for us to follow. But don't worry: I'll at least be more polite than you were to Minerva.'

Butler tenses, expecting a fight. But Artemis has gauged Holly's mood well - between the excitement of her new job and the knowledge that he and Foaly are making progress - there is going to be very little capable of aggravating her.

'Well, that gives you plenty of room to manoeuvre then,' Holly quips, unrepentant.

Artemis smiles with all his teeth.

* * *

'You home yet?'

'Yessir, we just walked in the door,' Holly speaks into her communicator as she, Artemis, and Butler start up the stairs. 'Give us ten, okay? And I think Foaly's gonna be on the blower in a bit too. He and Artemis want to play mad scientists with my brain.'

'Better you than me.' Holly can practically hear his shudder. She laughs as he closes the connection.

'Where is everyone, anyway?' Holly asks as they reach the second floor.

'Father's taken the twins camping and Mother should still be at her reading group.'

'Your father camps?' Holly can't quite hide her astonishment.

'Yes,' Artemis seems just as mystified. 'It may be due to your – ah - influence.'

Holly shares a bemused look with Butler. 'I hadn't realised that my magic was so.... well, influential.'

'I still maintain there's something in the Fowl genetics that makes them more susceptible,' Butler smirks. 'Just look at little Myles.'

Artemis gives his enormous manservant a withering look as he opens the door to his study.

Trouble hasn't given them ten minutes, he's already there. And with him is –

'N°1!' Holly grins, holding out her arms to the imp.

He launches himself into them. 'I've been waiting ages,_ aeons_, to come visit you. Well, I mean, not actually of course, but it's _felt _like aeons, which is, I suppose, why we say it. Is time weird, or what? At any rate, I almost threatened to turn Councillor Poole into a guinea pig, I was so frustrated! Wouldn't that have been funny? But how are you doing?'

Holly laughs, 'I'm fine, N°1.'

The apprentice warlock wrinkles his nose. 'Holly, that is such an awful word. It doesn't get much more boring than "fine".'

'Sorry.'

The imp pats her hand consolingly. It's not her fault she's not virtually omnipotent, after all.

'And Artemis?' The imp turns to his favourite human. 'How are you? If you say fine, I will send you back to the Dark Ages. And I mean that literally, it's not just a pleasantry.'

'I'm...' Artemis searches for the best word, 'intrigued.'

'Better than fine. Butler?'

'Spiffing,' the big man deadpans.

N°1 is in raptures. 'See, Holly? Now, Butler here has flair. Spiffing? Did you hear that? That's a colloquialism, that is!'

Holly smiles down at the grinning imp and is struck by a sudden thought. 'Hey, N°1, do you know the game Scrabble?'

The imp purses his lips. 'No, I don't.'

'Butler will you find Myles' board? I think N°1 will get a kick out of it.'

'Neat! Something new! I love new things.'

Trouble clears his throat quietly. 'Holly, if I could borrow you for a minute?'

Holly leaves Artemis and N°1 to themselves and slips over to her friend. 'It was really kind of you to bring him with you, Trubs. I take it he's the other surprise?'

'Yeah,' Trouble's brown eyes crinkle as he smiles. 'And here're the forms, I guess you know the drill.'

In truth, there are no forms - as we would think of them - and Holly isn't actually signing anything. The contract is stored on one of Foaly's info-crystals and all Holly has to do is press her thumb to one of its facets, allowing its micro sensors to record her fingerprint, DNA, and blood type, a process everyone still refers to as 'signing' because it's, well, simpler.

Holly winks, 'Yeah, I think I can just about handle that, even in this condition.'

Trouble laughs softly, not wanting to draw Artemis' attention.

'And thanks again, Trouble. For getting me this job, I mean. I know it must have been a pain in the ass. You've no idea how much I appreciate it though. Really,' she smiles, taking her hand back with a flourish.

He shakes his head. 'It was nothing. Vinyáya did most of the yelling, anyway. Besides, I still feel bad about –'

Holly lays a hand on his shoulder. 'Just forget about it, Trouble.'

'Are you really doing fine?' he asks suddenly, turning his eyes on her.

Holly nods slowly. 'I am. I'm... honestly, I think I'm happy, Trouble.' she laughs. 'Besides, never a dull moment with Artemis around.'

Trouble works hard to keep his lips from curling. 'You really... care for that Mud Boy, don't you?'

'Yes,' Holly says softly, then more confidently, 'I really do.'

'Just watch yourself, okay?' Trouble snorts, a wry half-smile on his face. 'I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but it's difficult.'

'Don't bother, he's as bad as you think he is and then some. But he'll look out for me.'

'Are you sure?' Trouble raises a sceptical brow.

Holly nods without hesitation. 'Yes. In his own way, at least.'

'Well,' Trouble sighs, 'if you ever need help, you know how to get in touch.'

'You're the best, Trouble.' Holly puts a hand on his shoulder.

'I do what I can,' Trouble shrugs.

'And that's more than enough.'

Trouble gives her a grateful smile.

'I found the Scrabble board,' Butler returns triumphant. Needless to say, N°1 is in love.

'They need to make this in Gnommish,' he enthuses, 'and in multilingual editions. This may be the best thing you Mud Men have ever come up with.'

'Holly! Congratulations!' Foaly's bray makes them all jump. He waves at them from the monitor of one of Artemis' computers.

'He needs a ringtone,' Holly mutters to Artemis. Louder, she says, 'Thanks, Foaly. And look what else Trouble brought with him,' she gestures to N°1. 'We're teaching him Scrabble.'

Foaly snorts, 'I didn't realise you were a closet masochist, Holly. You do know there's no way you'll ever win, right?'

'S'okay,' Holly shrugs, 'Lately, I've been losing pretty regularly to Myles, and he's four and a half. At least with N°1 I don't feel so bad about it.'

'That's the spirit,' Foaly snickers. 'Fowl fill you in on his latest thought?'

'Sort of. But I get the feeling I won't understand much else of it.'

Foaly grins, 'Probably not.'

Holly rolls her eyes.

'Though,' continues Foaly, seriously, 'You realise that this is -'

'Unlikelier than a beardless dwarf?'

'More or less,' the centaur nods.

'Oh well, worth a shot,' Holly smiles.

'That's my girl,' Foaly winks at her. 'Anyway, I just phoned to say hi, how are the kids, etc. I've actually gotta go deal with really important crisis-averting stuff down here, so I'll talk to you later.'

'You just don't want Trouble to ream you out for wasting time.'

'Yeah, well, that's another way of putting, I guess you could say.'

'See you, Foaly.'

''Night, Holly.' Foaly gives everyone a quick wave and disappears from the screen as suddenly as he had appeared.

Artemis sighs for his software.

As the Scrabble game nears its end, Butler excuses himself and goes down to the kitchen, returning ten minutes later with snacks. N° 1, glorying in his victory, is fairly sure that his night can't get any better.

'I love cream puffs!' his face lights up.

Butler laughs at Holly's wrinkled nose. 'Not much for pastry?'

'Eating cream like that still kind of makes me nauseas,' Holly admits.

'Really?' Artemis frowns, 'Do you eat dairy poducts? As a people, I mean?'

Trouble answers, 'We've nothing against it, traditionally. Not like we have with meat, anyway. But we haven't really had dairy products since we left the surface - it's against our laws to domesticate or keep animals. We have to ask them for their milk, or wool, or whatever. Something we obviously can't really do from kilometres underground. So, no one's really eaten it for centuries.'

'Hmm,' Artemis taps his lower lip, 'I wonder if you've all become lactose intolerant over the years or if, like humans, it's only certain individuals. Then again, clearly N°1 has no issues with dairy produce.'

Holly shrugs, 'It could also depend on the species. Dwarves eat meat after all.'

'Very true,' Artemis considers. 'What about other types of milks and cheeses? Do you have dairy substitutes underground?'

The two elves look at each other, slowly shaking their heads. 'Not really. Most of our proteins are legume based, though I think there's a company under Nagoya that does a trade in _Amasake_, but it's not very widespread,' Trouble says.

'What are you thinking, Artemis?' Holly asks.

'About importing soya milk to Haven,' the boy replies.

Trouble clears his throat pointedly.

'I'm not serious, Commander,' Artemis waves a hand airily, 'merely curious, that's all.'

'Right,' says Trouble, clearly unconvinced.

Having demolished the cream puffs and committed the recipe to memory (Butler has had to go back down and bring up The Joy of Cooking), N°1 turns to them again. 'I really wish you liked cream puffs, Holly. They're so delicious - the delicate pastry, the slightly sweetened interior...'

'You're starting to sound like Mulch when he talks about clay,' Holly laughs at the imp's dreamy expression.

'Hopefully with more eloquence,' N°1 huffs, then snaps his fingers. 'Trouble! The magic - I nearly forgot!'

Holly frowns, 'What magic?'

'My magic!' N°1 smiles. 'Well, and Opal's.'

Trouble rises, digging a case out of his bag. Flicking up the lid, he brings them a transparent canister, the size and shape of a water bottle. It's full of a dark rust-coloured liquid through which the occasional blue spark appears before hitting the wall of the container and disappearing back into the murky liquid.

'This,' N°1 takes the bottle, 'is most of what's left of Opal's original serum. The LEP found it in her lab. Foaly's obviously kept some of it with him underground. Now, try not to lose it because, not only will you feel really stupid, but we'd be in a bit of a mess. Well, I say a bit, but really I mean-'

'It's alright, N°1, I can visualise the size of the mess just fine,' Holly assures him.

'It's big, isn't it?' the imp hands her the canister.

'Massive,' agrees Holly solemnly.


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

Sorry for the delay. More of that real life shenanigans...

As always, much love for ilex-ferox, the beta to end all betas.

* * *

Chapter Eleven: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

After getting N°1 safely on his way back to Qwan, Commander Kelp decides that he needs five minutes to be just Trouble.

Deftly avoiding multiple interested parties, he slips off to the Ops Booth. The centaur inside buzzes him in without comment. Trouble sinks into one of the padded chairs gratefully, watching Foaly trawl through four monitors of Centaurian computer coding simultaneously. In the dim room, the blue-green glow of the script reflects off the walls like light seen from underwater.

Trouble shakes his head. With his incessant dramatics and constant wisecracks, he sometimes forgets how brilliant Foaly really is. It always comes as a bit of a shock when he remembers.

'What's it like to be married, Foaly?' the elf asks suddenly, his voice loud in the silent, watery air of the booth

'Hmm? Married?' Foaly reaches forward, tapping one of the monitors. Three windows bloom on the screen like jellyfish coming up from the deep. 'It's wonderful.'

'No, I mean, aside from being wonderful. Does it make you look at things differently or feel different or...' Trouble shrugs, not really sure what he's trying to say.

'Sure it does.' With one hairy finger, Foaly drags two of his newly opened windows across the monitor until they reappear in the next one over. 'You're thinking for two people aren't you? It's not just about you anymore.'

'Does that ever bother you?'

'No,' Foaly says, typing something on his virtual keypad. 'Well, I mean, I guess it would if you didn't like the person you were married to. But I love Caballine. Making her happy's even better than making myself happy.' Suddenly Foaly seems to realise what he's saying. He swivels his chair to face Trouble, script crawling down the left side of his face like hundreds of glowing nudibranchs. 'What's this all about? You thinking of getting hitched, Commander?'

Trouble shakes his head. 'Not anymore.'

Foaly raises an eyebrow. 'Not anymore? What changed?'

'Her species,' Trouble replies.

'Ah,' says Foaly, tactfully refraining from gaping and spluttering. 'I didn't realise you... felt that strongly about Holly.'

'She's not really someone you can have wishy-washy feelings towards,' Trouble shrugs. 'You either love her or you hate her.'

Foaly nods. 'But not everyone who loves her wants to marry her,' he points out.

'Well, I guess I feel even stronger than most about her, don't I?' he rises to leave.

'I'm sorry, Trouble,' Foaly says as the Commander reaches for the doorknob. 'I really am.'

'Thanks, Foaly, but save your pity. There are others who need it more.' With that, Commander Kelp returns to duty, back straight and chin high.

Foaly shakes his head. Recon jocks. Why couldn't they just accept that _everyone _needs a hug sometimes?

He fiddles with a control, pulling up his surveillance network at Fowl Manor. He watches as Holly sits on the front steps, talking to Artemis, a smile taking up half her face. Others might need his pity more but he has the feeling that, right at this moment, Holly Short isn't one of them.

* * *

The blood work is finished, the results sitting on her desk. Minerva sips from a glass of lemonade, savouring the moment. After all he did to thwart her when she last meddled with demons, she can't believe Artemis let her walk away so easily this time. For goodness' sake, he nearly handed her this opportunity on a platter.

Minerva frowns suddenly - she knows what she is going to do it will disappoint Butler. And she does care for the massive bodyguard, just not enough to pass up on this chance; this chance of a Nobel Prize that should have been hers four years ago; this chance to show Artemis Fowl exactly what she is capable of. And his admiration will be almost as sweet as her revenge.

So she hasn't got a live demon this time. Surely the ability to change from human to demon - or elf, as the case may be - and back again, will more than suffice. Finally that Holly girl will be of some use to her.

And Artemis just let her walk away. She chuckles to herself, licking her lips in anticipation.

* * *

The next morning, Holly wakes up just past eleven to breakfast in bed. She blinks at the abundance of food before her. 'What's all this about?' she asks Juliet, who sprawls beside her, munching strawberries off Holly's plate.

'I thought we'd celebrate. Dom phoned this morning, told me about your new job. And that Minerva was in town yesterday,' Juliet waggles her eyebrows.

Holly rolls her eyes. 'Thanks for breakfast, Juliet.'

'You're welcome. Now spill: how was London?'

Holly points eloquently to her full mouth.

'You can't chew forever, Holly. And when you're done, I'll still be here.'

Holly swallows, sighing. 'London was fine. Busy. Noisy. Full of people, grime and taxis. I didn't really see much, we were mostly at lectures after all.'

'And Minerva? How was that?'

'What did Butler say?'

'Several choice words,' Juliet laughs.

'I don't like her,' Holly shrugs. 'And I don't like the way she goes after Artemis.'

'Oh?'

Holly looks Juliet in the eyes and gives a half smile, 'To be fair, I wouldn't like the way anyone went after Artemis.'

'Aha!' Juliet claps delightedly. 'Well, if that isn't progress! In a couple of years you two might even start holding hands in public. Who knows! The possibilities are endless.'

'Buzz off, Juliet.' Holly lobs a grape at the girl; Juliet catches it in her mouth. 'Show off,' Holly mutters.

'You betcha. Now, finish your breakfast, we're going to go up and lie on the roof. It is beautiful outside!'

Breakfast, a shower, and a change of clothes later, they finally make it to the roof; and, stepping out into the sun, Holly can't help a delighted 'Ah!'. Though the view is mainly high-rises, the sky above them is blue, with the occasional picture-book cloud scudding past.

'You were right, Juliet,' she goes to the edge standing, hands on hips, to look out over the city, 'it is beautiful out here!'

Juliet flops into her deck-chair. 'Simple pleasures, Holly. That's what being human is all about. And we gotta take 'em where we can get 'em. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some serious sunbathing to do. Unless you've got any more juicy gossip to share?'

Holly laughs, unfolding her own deck-chair and donning her enormous bug-glasses. 'I love him, Juliet,' she says, almost casually, as she sits down.

'Any _new _gossip, I meant.'

Holly chucks her book at Juliet's stomach. 'That I'm okay with it, is what I'm trying to say. That I don't mind anymore.'

Juliet peeks out from under her sunglasses. 'Really?'

Holly nods, smiling. 'Yeah.' Then she chuckles, 'You've no idea what it's like to finally admit that out loud.'

'I can imagine,' Juliet slides her sunglasses back down. 'I just hope he doesn't mess it up.'

'Oh, I have complete faith in the fact that he's going to mess it up royally. Many, many times.' Holly retrieves her book, 'He's going to drive me up the wall. But I'm pretty sure I'll return the favour.'

Juliet laughs. 'Better you than me, honey. But,' she looks over at Holly again, 'I am happy for you, yeah? And, as always, if you ever need any help...'

'I'll holler,' Holly smiles.

'That's my girl.'

* * *

'We,' Juliet straightens, extricating her head from the refrigerator, 'officially have no food. It's time to hit the grocery stores, Holly.'

Holly is sitting upside down on the sofa, reading the paper. Propping herself up on her elbows, she looks at Juliet from above her legs dangling over the back of the couch. 'Do we both have to go?'

'Have you ever been grocery shopping above ground?'

'No-o,' admits Holly reluctantly. Between the food they brought with them from the Manor, the trip to London and her own apathetic eating habits, there hadn't been any call for it yet.

'Well then, yes, we both have to go.' Juliet rummages for her keys in a bowl of odds and ends on the table, pricking herself on a pin and sucking on her finger, resorting to searching one handed. Finally successful, she gestures to the door with the keys, her finger still in her mouth.

'Alright, alright,' Holly clambers to her feet and goes to pull on her shoes.

It's the after work rush-hour on the streets of Dublin; mothers in suits pick their children up from daycare, men in heavy work boots lug grocery bags through the parking lots, boys still half in uniform push bikes alongside girls wearing too much sparkly lip-gloss, hair still pulled back under their regulation berets.

Holly and Juliet move through the crowded pavements with more ease than most, people-watching unashamedly.

'Look there!'

'Where?

'The little old lady at the bus stop. Bright orange jacket.'

'Omigosh, bright orange _fake fur _jacekt? That is too awesome. She must be nearly ninety.'

'Well, she's gotta live it up while she can.'

'I hope my sense of style is that bonkers when I'm ninety. Being the crazy old lady at the end of the block has always held a certain appeal to me.'

'It would,' Holly laughs.

Pushing open the doors of the supermarket, Holly is unprepared for the gale force air-conditioning.

'It's glacial in here!' she manages through chattering teeth, 'I didn't realise I'd have to bring a parka!'

Juliet snickers. 'You get used to it.'

'Do they get this excited with the air conditioning in the winter too?'

'Are you crazy? No way, they crank the heat up. You'll sweat buckets.'

Holly shakes her head in amazement. 'You people are so weird.'

'It's part of our charm,' Juliet winks. 'Now, where the heck are the trolleys? Aha!'

'Hey, I've seen these before!' Holly taps the cart Juliet nabbed from a passing sales boy. 'They're always lying around half stuck in bushes. I didn't realise they had a purpose.'

Juliet cracks up. 'You mean they don't have shopping-trolleys in Haven?'

'Not like this - they're remote controlled. And much more streamlined. Why are these always in bushes, anyway?'

Her companion shrugs. 'Kids grab 'em and run around with them, homeless people use them to cart their stuff around in. Various reasons.'

'Huh,' Holly eyes the trolley once more, then looks up towards the narrow grocery aisles. 'Is it even going to fit down there?'

'With a lot of skill and a little bit of luck, it should do. Cross your fingers.'

Holly shakes her head at this – yet another example of human short-sightedness. How had these Mud Men ever managed to take over the world? They could barely design supermarkets for Frond's sake.

'And now, get ready for your very own guided tour of the produce section,' Juliet offers Holly her arm. 'Shall we?'

'With pleasure.'

In truth, there is very little pleasure involved. Between pesticides, foreign imports and plastic packaging, the grocery store is an environmentalist's nightmare: and very nearly a personal hell for Holly, despite her lack of heightened elfin senses.

'But you can't _tell _there're pesticides on them anymore,' Juliet points out as they eye the red peppers.

'But I still know they're there. And that grosses me out. You're eating _poison_.'

'You've eaten take out for heaven's sake. Do you have any idea how crap that is for you?'

'Ye-ah,' Holly fiddles with the hem of her shirt. 'I dunno... it's just – it's different, looking at them sitting here like this. It's like when you guys buy a hamburger, you don't think twice about where it came from, but if someone gave you an axe and a cow and told you to go for it – well, that's different isn't it? I mean, it shouldn't be, but it is.'

Juliet sighs. 'Let's go look at the organic section. And next time, we're going straight to the Manor and getting our veggies from the gardeners. They've more than enough for the family and staff.'

When Holly opens her mouth to protest Juliet quickly points out that the Fowl vegetables would not only be all organic but also local. Holly gives in.

'Wait ! What about nettles?' Holly asks when they – _finally_ - head for the check out. 'We didn't get any nettles.'

'Nettles?' Juliet frowns.

'Yeah, you know, triangular leaves, they sting you when they're fresh. High in iron. I practically live off nettle smoothies at home.'

'Ohh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the plant you mean. 'Fraid we don't eat too many nettles up here, they're kind of considered a weed,' Juliet laughs at Holly's flabbergasted expression. 'Don't worry, they grow wild nearly everywhere. I'm sure if you flutter your eyelashes at Rupert he'll have someone pick you some from the Manor grounds.'

'Rupert?'

'The Head Gardener.'

'Oh. Do you really think so?'

'Sure, he's a great guy. And fond of a pretty face,' Juliet winks.

Holly laughs, digging out her wallet to ready her change for the cashier. She has so many of those ridiculous little one eurocent pieces she could tile the front of Fowl Manor.

* * *

A week after the London conference, Butler sits across from Minerva, eyeing the chess board between them. 'I don't really see the point in continuing,' he remarks, moving his bishop, 'when we both know I lost at least three moves ago.'

'Do you stop a film halfway simply because you've already guessed the end?' Minerva asks.

'No,' Butler admits, 'but you do.'

The girl giggles. 'True. Check mate.'

'At least it was a quick demise,' Butler smiles.

'I try to be compassionate,' the girls dimples. The rain drums a tattoo on the Manor's stained glass windows and the dim light from outside spreads their colours across the floor, ending at Minerva's chair.

'Don't you want to see Artemis?' Butler asks.

The girl shrugs. 'If he wants to see me. But, after London, I realised it has been so long since I'd spent any time with you. And we were friends before, weren't we? For goodness' sake, you started reading fiction for me!' she laughs, then sobers. 'And I... well, you know how we are. We don't make friends easily.'

Butler reaches forward, patting her cheek. 'I'm flattered,' he says. 'And I'm sure Artemis will be glad to see you when he gets back.'

'Where is he, exactly?' Minerva sips her hot chocolate. 'Off swindling money from hardened Mafia kings?'

'Would I be here if he were?' Butler shakes his head. 'No, he and Holly are in town, doing a series of MRI scans. He has some sort of Graft vs. Host theory. I'm afraid I don't really understand it.'

'MRI scans for Graft vs. Host?' Minerva frowns. 'That doesn't make sense at all. This is for Holly's transformation?'

'Yes,' Butler refills her cup, 'Artemis is trying to find a way of reversing the process.'

'Is he?' Minerva blinks. 'He didn't do it himself then?'

'Oh God, no. A pixie with too much brain and too little sanity had a grudge to settle with them and concocted some crazy serum out of blood and magic and I don't know what else. N°1 brought some over the other day - it looks like a bottle of tomato juice that's gone off. They're running tests on that too. Anyway, long story short, that's how Holly ended up the way she is.'

'Blood?' Minerva wrinkles her pretty little nose. 'Ick, Holly didn't have to swallow it did she?'

'No, Opal shot her with it.'

Minerva shudders delicately. 'How awful.'

'Mmm,' Butler murmurs non-committally. Minerva realises she may be overdoing it.

'Well,' she continues, letting a little of her natural dislike for Holly seep into her voice, 'at least she's thick-skinned. I'm sure she'll get over it. _Artemis _certainly seems to have complete faith in her.'

Butler laughs, soothed by the return of Minerva's animosity. 'She'll be alright, that's for certain.'

Minerva decides that that is enough for today.

* * *

Holly and Artemis return just as Minerva is preparing to leave.

'Minerva,' Artemis blinks in unaccustomed surprise. 'I didn't realise you were visiting.'

The girl shrugs, pulling her hair out of the way of her jacket's buttons. 'I came by to see Butler,' she gestures to the big man behind her.

'Oh.' Artemis opens his mouth to say more when Myles comes running into the hall.

'Holly!' his small, pale face lights up to see her. 'You're back! Will you come listen to the Vivaldi now? I mean, if you aren't busy that is,' he shoots Artemis a quick frown.

Artemis shakes his head. He really needs to teach Myles a thing or two about subtlety. Minerva files this encounter away for further use.

Holly shrugs. 'Sure, Myles, I've definitely got a few minutes.' The boy is starting to grow on her. He reminds her of his older brother, but innocent and open. She likes to think that Artemis would have been like this if things had gone differently. Spending time with Myles is sort of like spending time with Artemis, but without the complications.

Artemis raises his eyebrows. 'Surely you don't have to go quite so soon, Minerva? If you've come all this way, why don't you stay for dinner?'

Holly's lips thin. Minerva beams. She knows she's being used but it doesn't bother her. Who knows, she might even be able to use him in return. Shooting Holly a syrupy smile, she follows Artemis upstairs.

Holly rolls her eyes, calling in Gnommish after Artemis' retreating back, 'Jealous of a five year old? Are you _serious_?'

Artemis doesn't dignify this with a reply. Growling faintly, Holly turns on her heel and storms after Myles.

'I take it things didn't go well at the hospital?' Butler asks the empty hall.

* * *

As Myles rosins his bow, fitting the half sized Tononi under his chin, Holly watches the summer storm turn the outside world into shades of grey and green. He begins the piece, the music only adding to the otherworldly atmosphere of the rain. Underneath the boy's flawless playing she can hear the rushing, rhythmic sound of water hitting the earth. She lets her vision slide out of focus.

'_I dunno,' Foaly's wispy beard flutters as he gnaws on a beet, 'this whole thing sounds kind of iffy.'_

_Artemis nearly growls. 'Obviously it sounds iffy. It _is _iffy. This whole dilemma is iffy.'_

_Foaly eyes the boy for a moment. He has hacked into the hospital's network and is talking to Artemis via one of the computers in the booth, while Holly lies under the scanner._

'_I mean your plan sounds iffy. Iffy like it never had a hope in a dwarf's jaws of working out and you always knew it. Are you having second thoughts, Fowl?'_

'_I'm long past second thoughts, Foaly. I'm into double digits already.'_

'_She's gonna rumble you one of these days,' Foaly tells him._

'_Thank you for the show of support,' Artemis mutters._

'_Just saying,' Foaly shrugs. _

'_Are the results coming through clearly?' the teen asks, switching off the scanner and tapping the glass to let Holly know she's done._

'_As clearly as your antiquated machines can get them,' Foaly confirms._

'_Excellent. Now, any ideas?'_

_Foaly shakes his head, rolling his eyes. 'Artemis, there are no abnormalities. Her brain's as human as yours is. We'd stand as much chance of re-stimulating your chef's magical abilities as hers. You don't need to put on a show for me. Just tell her.'_

'_I don't know what you're talking about,' Artemis replies archly, 'there's always the chance -'_

'_Yes, that one in a million chance. Well, looks like today's your lucky day, Mud Boy; usually with you that chance comes back to bite you in the ass,' Foaly snaps back._

_Artemis shrugs, looking away, towards the door, so that Foaly can't see his triumphant smile. Unfortunately, Holly is entering the booth at exactly that same moment. Artemis' brief moment of joy is replaced by dread and his smile freezes on his face._

'_You could have just called me over the PA system, you know,' Holly tells him, 'it's been on the entire time.'_

'_Ohhh d'Arvit,' Foaly, unbeknownst to its occupants, is watching the events in the booth via the security camera in the far corner. He looks from Holly to Artemis and back again. 'Err, I gotta run guys, talk to you soon!' _

_Neither Artemis nor Holly is paying attention to him anyway. _

'_Before you accuse me of anything,' Artemis stands slowly, not wanting to make any sudden movements, 'I am here, aren't I? We are trying.'_

'_Yeah, real hard, as I've just learnt,' Holly spits._

'_Holly, be reasonable. Would Foaly let me get away with anything else?'_

'_Foaly doesn't really have control of the situation, does he? He comes up with his theories, you come up with yours. Or not, as the case may be.'_

'_I came up with this one, didn't I?'_

_But Holly has known him too long. 'How much do you think I'm willing to bet that you came up with "this one" for the sole purpose of making me feel better?' A sudden thought strikes her as she warms to her subject, 'Why else have such a long, involved conversation about it where I could hear you? You could have waited until you were somewhere more comfortable. You knew this wouldn't work from the start!'_

'_There is no way I could possibly have known that.' Fair enough, he'd had his suspicions - well, okay, alright, if he is honest, the plan had been patently ludicrous, but it had sounded impressive enough. She would have fallen for it hook, line and sinker if not for that bloody PA system. And there had always been the chance it would have worked._

'_Artemis-' Holly strangles the air in front of her, 'Artemis, we were doing so well. Finally I had... _d'Arvit, _Artemis, why do you always have to bugger things up just when you've gained my trust? You had me in the palm of your d'Arvitting hand - and now this. Every time I try to trust you, you turn around and mess it all up!'_

'_Holly-'_

'_No! Shut up and listen for once. Frond, that's the worst part! I _want _to trust you. That's what really gets me. That I could ever, possibly, _want _to trust a thieving, lying, self-centred – Argh!' she turns, slamming the door of the booth behind her as she leaves._

'Holly? Ho-olly?' Myles waves a hand in front of her face. 'What did you think?'

'Oh! Myles!' Holly returns to the present with a snap. 'It was beautiful, kid, it really was. I was all caught up. You're a fantastic player.' She leans forward, patting his head as she rises from her chair.

'You weren't paying attention, were you?' It's more of a statement than a question.

Holly sighs. 'I was, I just... I've got a lot on my mind.'

'Artemis?'

'What else?' Holly admits.

'Of course,' the boy turns away, loosening his bow, preparing to pack away the instrument. 'Well, you'd better go find him then.'

'Myles...' Holly's shoulders slump. _Frond, I can't make anyone happy these days. _'Myles, it was really nice. Honestly. And it was sweet of you to play it for me. Next time, I'll be a better audience, I promise. Heck, if I can, I'll come to your next recital, okay?'

'Really?' the boy brightens immediately.

'If I can,' Holly cautions.

He smiles, brown eyes crinkling at the corners.

Holly had been intending to stay for dinner. Leaving Myles behind in the conservatory, she decides that dinner with the Fowls is possibly the last thing in the world she wants to do right now. Given the choice, at this moment she might even take getting mauled by hungry trolls. It's a close call.

Luckily, she doesn't need to make that choice. Grabbing the keys for the Yaris they'd used that day, she heads down the garage. Unlocking the boot, she digs out her wing rig. _The only problem with these wings_, she decides as she shrugs into the harness, _is that half of the times the I use them I'm trying to get away from Artemis, whom they inevitably remind me of. D'Arvit, what was I - born on Celestial Celebrate Irony Day? For Frond's sake._

She retraces her steps to the entrance hall, leaving the keys on one of the tables. Opening the front door she pauses for a moment, resigning herself to her inevitable drenching, before taking off into the hazy, grey sky.

* * *

Myles watches Holly fly out into the rain, his soft child's face pinched into a disapproving frown. Slowly, he turns and climbs up the stairs. Standing in the first floor corridor he pauses and, instead of going to his room, turns towards his brother's.

He knocks, entering to find Artemis alone at his desk frowning into space and toying with a stoppered vial filled with a sludge like substance the colour of old blood. Artemis tucks the vial away into an inner drawer of his desk as Myles approaches. Before it disappears from sight, however, Myles is sure that he sees a blue light appear from its depths and spark against the glass of the vial.

'What can I do for you, Myles?' Artemis asks, face shuttered, voice even.

'Where's your friend?' asks Myles.

'Gone to fetch Butler, she'll be back in a moment if you wish to speak to her.'

'No, I don't. I was just curious.' Myles shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

'You know, Myles, I've been meaning to speak to you.'

'Oh?' The word comes out too accusatory for Myles' liking.

'Mm hmm. About Holly.'

'What about Holly?' This time his tone is too defensive.

Artemis licks his lips. 'Try to be a little more subtle, would you? No good ever comes of everyone knowing exactly how you feel.'

'Really?' Myles raises an eyebrow. 'And I suppose a lot of good comes from no one knowing that you care at all?'

Artemis frowns at his younger brother. 'What are you talking about?'

'You should be nicer to her,' Myles says it bluntly. 'She doesn't care about me and I know it. I just remind her of you.' His tiny hands ball into fists at his side. 'You have everything, you know that? Intelligence, Mother's preference, Holly – and you treat all of it as though it's nothing. You should take better care of what you have.' The boy swallows, leaning forward in his excitement. 'So what if everyone knows I like Holly? I'm not ashamed of it. Why should I be? She's better than you'll ever be!'

Artemis watches, bemused, as the boy before him works himself into a tantrum. He's never thought of himself as the lucky sibling before now. 'You're right,' he agrees mildly. 'She is.'

'Moreover, you – pardon me?' Myles blinks, his train of thought derailed.

'I said you're right - I should take better care of what I have.' Artemis stares hard at the boy before him. 'After all, it wouldn't do for it to fall into the wrong hands, now would it?'

Myles' lips thin. 'No,' he agrees at length, knowing exactly whose hands his brother is talking about.

* * *

At Holly's knock, Juliet pokes her head around the kitchen cabinets and, giving her a baffled look, comes to open the sliding doors. Holly steps in off the balcony, shoulders drooping and the rest of her dripping.

'Holly, are you okay? You look terrible. Get those wings off, I'll find you a towel,' Juliet moves away, vaulting over the couch in her hurry.

Slowly, Holly undoes the harness, but her brain is as drenched as her body and she holds the sopping wings in front of her, unable to come up with a suitable location for them. Luckily, she has someone there to think for her.

'Here, give those to me, I'll ditch them in the bath,' Juliet reappears with an armful of fluffy towels. 'Go get out of those clothes and dry off. You're going to get sick otherwise.'

'I've never been sick before,' Holly comments listlessly.

'Well, there's a first time for everything, now _go._'

Holly goes. A few minutes later she emerges from her room, dry and dressed in what is universally recognisable as I-feel-like-shit-wear. Her t-shirt is faded, hanging down over sweat pants that end halfway along her feet.

Juliet rolls her eyes. 'What did he do this time?'

Holly gives a weak smile. 'Is it that obvious?'

'Holly,' hand on hip, Juliet gestures with the ladle she's using for their dinner, 'all you need is a box of chocolates and you could be the broken-hearted heroine of just about any Hollywood romcom. Now, what did Artemis do?'

Holly flops onto the couch and tells Juliet about her disastrous visit to the hospital.

'Were you really expecting anything else?' Juliet hands her a bowl of aubergine moussaka. 'I mean, honestly now.'

'No,' Holly admits, 'but I really wanted to be proved wrong.'

* * *

A few days later, Holly makes her way to the bathroom, yawning and stretching. She pauses for a moment to stand in front of the sliding doors, enjoying the sun on her cheeks. As she turns she sees, out of the corner of her eye, someone come out of the bathroom. Someone who isn't Juliet.

To be honest, Holly doesn't really remember the next few seconds. However it happened, she finds herself on top of a thin, gangly red-head with more freckles than face, with her knee digging into his solar plexus.

'Oh... God...' gasps the red-head. 'Can't... breathe...'

Holly realises then that this isn't some crazy cat burglar.

'Oh shit,' she scrambles to her feet, 'I am so sorry. I didn't even think; you scared the shit out of me.'

The redhead looks up at her from the floor, vaguely incredulous. 'Ditto,' he coughs out.

'Here, let me help you up,' Holly holds out a hand which he takes hesitantly, 'I'm really sorry.'

Standing, the man is a good fifty centimetres taller than Holly and all elbows and knees, though clearly past his teens. His hair is thick and bright red, standing up in all directions.

Sheepishly, he rubs the bridge of his long nose, 'Actually, I probably should have been expecting that. You're Holly, right? Juliet told me you're a bodyguard and jump at small noises.'

Just as sheepish, Holly shrugs one shoulder. 'Yeah... I guess I can be a bit... err, jumpy. And we don't usually, well, have guests this early. And, err, yes, I'm Holly. You're...?'

'Oh! Sorry, I'm Arthur. Arthur Flanagan. I'm, err, Juliet and I...' he blushes brighter than his hair.

Holly smiles despite herself. 'Nice to meet you,' she holds out a hand to him. 'Usually, I make better first impressions than this, honest.'

He shakes her hand enthusiastically. 'Hey, I spend the night at the home of a professional wrestler and a bodyguard, what do I expect?'

Holly laughs. He is so thin and fragile looking. Juliet could break him in half before he had the chance to blink. 'I'm just gonna go brush my teeth, but can I get you anything? There's cereal in the cupboard by the 'fridge and we've got fruit for smoothies if you want one.'

'I... er, thanks.'

'Anytime. I'll be right back, make yourself at home.'

Holly comes back to find Arthur standing in the middle of their tiny kitchen looking very much not at home. She gets the feeling he doesn't spend much time in other people's kitchens.

'I'll put the kettle on, do you want tea? I'm afraid neither of us drink coffee so there's none in the house...'

'Tea would be great,' Arthur says, thankful to be taken in hand.

'Or – wait - what about a smoothie? We get our fruit from the Fowl's orchard so it's all organic. Well, I mean, our bananas are imported, but still organic! Or cereal?' Holly feels like a broken record, but she wants to make him feel comfortable while still feeling awkward herself.

'I'll have whatever you're having,' Arthur bites his lip, really not wanting to be a burden.

Holly smiles at him, 'Smoothies it is then. I'm no Juliet in the kitchen, but I do make a killer smoothie.'

Arthur laughs. 'Hey, I boil water better than anyone you've ever met.'

'Between the two of us then, we've got it made.'

'Seems like it,' Arthur fiddles with rim of the counter.

They're silent for a moment.

'Er.... so,' Holly breaks two bananas into the blender, 'how long have you and Juliet been together? You'll pardon me saying so, but you don't exactly seem like one-night stand material.'

Arthur laughs self-consciously. 'That'd be because I'm not. I'd say a month and a half now.'

'A month and a_ half_?' Holly nearly slices herself instead of the strawberry she's cutting. 'Why hasn't she told me?'

'Because she thought happy, gushing couple might not be exactly what you wanted to hear about these days,' Juliet replies, coming into the living room. 'I hope you're making enough for three, Holly.'

Holly gets out another banana. 'I can't believe you didn't tell me! I nearly knocked him unconscious!' Holly waves her knife for emphasis and Arthur backs up against the counter.

'What! Why?'

'He surprised me,' Holly shrugs.

Juliet blinks. Then explodes into laughter. 'What did you think he was? A mass murderer? _Arthur_?'

'I didn't really think about it too much, just knocked him down. As I recall, that's always been your preferred method: shoot first, ask questions later.'

Juliet is too busy laughing to retort.

Holly rolls her eyes and turns the blender on as Arthur helps the giggling Juliet up onto the counter beside him.

'_So_,' Holly slurps her drink a minute later, 'where did you two meet?'

'We're studying Spanish together,' Arthur replies. 'I'm an Art History major but I'm specialising in South American art so I thought I should learn the language.'

'He's in night courses with me,' Juliet clarifies, 'so that he can skip straight into third year Spanish in September.'

'Ah,' Holly sips from her smoothie, her thoughts wandering to men who skip straight into Masters Degrees, never mind third year undergrad.

Arthur leaves soon after breakfast, and the two girls eye each other across the flat.

Juliet clears her throat, 'Penny for your thoughts.'

'I'm trying to figure out why we both go for nerds,' Holly replies truthfully. 'I wouldn't have pegged him as your type.'

'Why not?' Juliet is indignant on Arthur's behalf. 'He's wonderful!'

'Oh no, I think he's great. I mean, he took nearly being killed really quite well. Very gentlemanly. Just, you know, I think even Artemis could out run him.'

'Yeah, well, I can out run you. It evens out.'

Holly laughs, 'Fair enough. I just don't get why we go for people we could beat up. I mean, it's not like we're big on domestic violence or something.'

Juliet cocks her head to the side. 'You have got a point. But Arthur is nothing like Artemis. He's nice. He doesn't have a manipulative bone in his body.'

'Frond, you were right about the gushing couple thing,' Holly makes a face before smiling. 'But seriously, Juliet, I like him. He seems kind. You're lucky.'

Juliet smiles wryly. 'Don't worry, I know exactly how lucky I am.'


	12. Chapter 12

Super-speedy update!! To make up for last time.

As always, three cheers for ilex-ferox, sovereign of the synonym, purveyor of proper punctuation and un-rivalled ruler of research. And who will probably cringe at my misuse of all those nouns. Ah, well.

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Omissions

To be truthful, Minerva is no longer sure which she wants more: Artemis or the Nobel Prize. Her larger, practical side says the Nobel.

Lately however, her small, deeply buried inner sixteen-year old - to whom she rarely listens despite the fact that it always seems to be speaking - has been saying Artemis with unusual force.

So, though the answer would once have been obvious, these days Minerva finds herself unsure. Unconsciously, she has begun paying more and more attention to the overly-emotional, but no less powerful, voice of the sixteen-year old. Occasionally, this worries her. _Though, when you think about it_, she consoles herself, _Artemis may be arguably more of a challenge_.

Either way, solving the riddle of Holly's cure will fulfill both those desires.

She isn't blind, she can tell they're closer than she wants them to be, but even Artemis Fowl must submit to the impossibility presented by a different species. And when she changes Holly back, who will be there waiting to comfort him?

Of course, she may have to smooth out a few a wrinkles; such as being the person who takes Holly away. But Minerva sees it more as offering Holly a choice. A choice Minerva is sure she will make in favour of her people. And Artemis really can't hold Holly's choices against Minerva, can he?

Now she just needs to get her hands on some of that serum.

* * *

It's a couple of weeks before Holly returns to the Manor. In that time she tracks down a pair of pixies selling Dalí forgeries to rich Shamabhalan tourists, apprehends a sprite trying to smuggle a submarine full of Greek calamari to Atlantis, and corners a dwarf in a hotel room in Gouda as he readies twelve crates of stroopwafels for illegal import to Haven. Without exception, when her perps are turned over to their LEP handlers, they are ready and willing to go.

'She's crazy!' one of the pixies blubbers. 'Stark, raving mad!' He had tried to sneak up behind her when she had burst into their underground studio in Barcelona, and had been sent flying through half a dozen framed canvasses of _The Persistence of Memory._

'Take me! Frond, I'll do anything,' the sprite grabs his guard by the lapels, 'just don't make me get into a car with her again! I lost count of the times we nearly went over a cliff.'

The dwarf had valiantly tried to eat his way through the hotel wall and received a sharp buzz baton across the posterior for his trouble. Immediately following which, he had been marched smartly out to the waiting car. At high noon. Luckily for him it had been an overcast day, but it left him speechless with fright nonetheless.

It's while driving the dwarf to the shuttle terminal that Holly decides enough is enough. She needs to take her frustration out on its source, not innocent criminals.

'Having a rough couple of weeks?' Trouble asks, watching as the dwarf is led away.

Holly grunts.

'Well, do me a favour and keep it up. Your results skyrocket when you're angry. Good job, Short.' Trouble allows himself the luxury of a comradely pat on the back. After all, his men are watching them.

'Thanks, Trouble,' Holly doesn't bother playing G.I. for the others. 'See you next time, I've gotta run. There's some stuff I need to deal with back home.'

Trouble doesn't comment on her choice of noun. In fact, he doesn't speak at all. He wants to make her stay, but knows there's nothing he can say that can compete with what's 'back home'. His shoulders slump ever so slightly.

Shaking his head sharply as though to clear it, he turns back to his waiting squad, 'Alright men, let's move out!'

* * *

She ditches the rental car at the airport. A quick flight gets her back to Dublin, where she takes the bus into town, then walks the rest of the way to the flat. She showers, changes, and hauls out her bike, loading it and herself onto a bus heading North. Unlike in Gouda, the Dublin sky is bright and clear and the sun warms Holly's skin as, on the outskirts of the city, she mounts her bike, peddling off towards the Manor. She doesn't go fast, she's in no hurry. This'll happen eventually, no matter what.

By the time she props her bike against the front steps, the sunlight and fresh air have brought back Holly's natural good humour. She lets herself in through the front doors, already halfway across the hall by the time a maid admit her. Waving to her, she takes the stairs two at a time, whistling to herself. As she reaches the upper floor and turns down the corridor towards Artemis' room, she finds she's not even nervous, only happy to be seeing him again.

_It's like I said before, I've known what he was from the beginning. I may as well get used to forgiving if not forgetting; I have a feeling we're going to be in this situation a lot in the years to come._

She pauses mid-step.

_The years to come. _

No. Best not to think of that now. One day at a time. And today it's make-up-with-Artemis-day. Again.

He opens the door before she's even finished knocking. 'You're back,' he says, face impassive.

'So it seems,' she pushes past him, into the room, hopping up to sit on his desk. 'What can I say? My days just seemed so empty when they weren't filled with treachery and betrayal.'

'Holly-'

'Don't bother, Artemis. I'm not mad anymore. I've been terrorising the d'Arvit out of a bunch of fairy smugglers all week and it's really quite therapeutic.'

Artemis shakes his head. 'Therapeutic. Yes, I'm sure.'

'Yeah, there's nothing like putting the fear of Frond into a couple of cocky pixies to really relax a girl,' Holly grins, pretending to ignore his sarcasm.

'Actually, it's excellent timing on your part; I have a trip to Amsterdam coming up and am in need of a... companion.'

'Oh, have you now?' Holly picks a slice of pear out from a plate of salad sitting beside her on the desk and pops it into her mouth.

'Yes, the day after tomorrow.' Artemis takes back his salad, using his fork to rifle through the mixed greens in search of the pecans.

'And just _when_ were you planning on telling me you needed me?'

'When was I planning on telling you that I needed you?' Artemis repeats, the faintest hint of a smile appearing at the double meaning. 'I was thinking about doing it tomorrow.'

Holly chuckles, 'Ah, Artemis. Always so respectful of the needs of others.'

'One does one's best,' Artemis really does smile then. Having dug out the pecans, he offers the salad back to Holly.

She rolls her eyes. 'Case in point.'

'Take a car with you when you go,' he tells her, 'so that you don't have to bus back here to pick me up.'

'Yessir!' Holly throws a mock-salute and he shakes his head.

* * *

Holly returns to the flat, humming to herself as she climbs the stairs.

Juliet looks up from her novel as Holly comes in, an eyebrow raised at her flatmate's high spirits.

'Having a good day, Holly?'

'Mm hmm.'

'Oh yeah? And what brought this on? You've been slamming around here for weeks now.' Juliet leans back in her chair, watching Holly go from room to room. 'So, go on then, tell me. Arrest lots of baddies in Gouda? Win the lotto? Get laid?'

Holly spares Juliet a withering glance for that last one as she hauls her laundry out into the living room.

'It's always possible,' Juliet shrugs. 'There's plenty of other fish in the sea, you know.'

'Nah,' Holly shakes her head, 'I'm not big on fish; I prefer man-eating sharks.'

Juliet laughs, 'Fair enough. But – hey! Wait, where are you going? You gonna tell me or what?'

'Where does it look like I'm going? And I will tell you – but only if you come down to the laundrette with me,' Holly waggles her eyebrows, a habit she's picked up from Juliet.

'But that's so fa-ar.'

'Ah well, I guess you don't really want to know then.'

'Alright, alright, yes, coming.' Juliet rises, taking one side of Holly's laundry basket. 'This had better be good,' she warns Holly.

'Don't get your hopes up,' Holly hops on one foot, tugging on a sneaker, 'it's really not very interesting.'

Juliet sighs, 'And yet, here I am still coming with you. Man, I'm a sucker for punishment.'

'Naw, you've just got to get your fill of me now, because I leave for Amsterdam the day after tomorrow.'

'What?' Juliet cries as they manoeuvre the basket around the front door and out into the hall. 'They've got another smuggler for you?'

'Nope. This isn't for the LEP.' Holly tugs the basket behind her with both hands.

'Oho!' Juliet holds the lift doors open as they push the laundry in. 'Going away with Master Fowl, are we?'

'Mmm,' Holly replies non-committally.

'Really!? When did you speak to him? Did you guys smooth thing out?'

'Yes. A couple of hours ago. More or less.'

'More or less?'

'As much as things are ever going to be smooth between an ex-cop and a criminal.'

Juliet picks up her end of the basket, walking backwards to get out of the lift. 'Good point.' Then she grins, 'Aw man, Holly, that's great news.'

As they reach the entrance, Juliet suddenly drops her end of the basket.

'Hey! Wh-'

'Holly, wait, is Dom going to Amsterdam too?'

'Juliet...' Holly sighs, letting go of her handle as well. 'I have no idea. Artemis didn't mention anything about your brother. I dunno... I got the feeling he wasn't.'

Juliet claps her hands delightedly, 'I knew it!'

'Knew what?'

'You're going away for a romantic weekend!'

Holly groans. 'On second thought, I can do my laundry on my own.'

* * *

Holly pulls up to the Manor, gravel flying under the tyres at her sudden screeching stop. Stepping through the dust cloud, she brushes down her dark suit and takes the steps two at a time.

'You're nearly late,' Artemis says, opening the door just as she reaches for the handle.

'Oh Great Mother of Frond!' Holly puts a hand to her heart. 'You're scarier than anyone who could possibly want to kill you. _I_ need a d'Arvitting bodyguard just to be able to look after you. And I'm not anywhere near late - I was speeding the whole way here.'

'One day, the Garda are going to get you.'

'They'll have to catch me first,' Holly swings her key ring around a finger and winks at him. 'You ready to go?'

'Of course.'

'No one here to say good bye? Wish you _bon voyage_?'

'Myles is giving a violin recital in town. Actually, he was quite put out that you wouldn't be attending.'

'I promised him I'd come to his next one. Drat. Well, maybe next time.'

'Maybe,' Artemis murmurs.

They arrive at the airport in plenty of time, despite Holly's dire warnings at Artemis' insistence that she stick to the speed limit. Once safely installed in the plane, Holly takes out the folder Artemis has given her concerning their itinerary and waves it in his face.

'So, tell me again, why _exactly_ are we going to Amsterdam? There seem to be key pieces of information missing from my folder. Like, for example, why the itinerary is made up solely of our arrival time, our hotel address and room numbers, and our departure time. What kind of itinerary is that? How am I supposed to look into everything Butler insists I look into, if you don't tell me where we're going and why?'

'You'll find out when we get there,' Artemis pulls a sleeping mask over his eyes. 'For now, just enjoy the movie selection.'

'Frond, I'm really starting to see why Butler went prematurely grey,' Holly harrumphs.

Artemis lifts up one corner of the mask, 'Not funny.'

'Neither is your caginess. I'm starting to have a sinking feeling about this trip. It's bad enough when you tell me the truth; if you're holding this much back, Frond only knows how dangerous this is going to be. Last time you left out this much information, I ended up having to cut someone's thumb off.'

'Holly, it isn't going to be dangerous, I promise. You might even enjoy yourself.' Artemis ignores her snort, 'Trust me.'

'I hate it when you ask me to do that,' she crosses her arms over her chest. 'I always do, and I always regret it.'

'Always?' Artemis pushes the mask up, abruptly focusing in on her.

Holly leans back from his sudden scrutiny. 'Er... well, I mean, no, not always. I was exaggerating.'

'But you trust me,' he states.

Holly gets the feeling that there's more to this than simple banter. She reaches over and gently slides the mask back down over his staring eyes. Brushing his hair off his forehead, she smiles. 'Yes, Artemis, I trust you.'

He relaxes back into his seat. 'Thank you,' he murmurs, knowing that he doesn't deserve it.

'You're welcome,' she says, knowing that he knows that he doesn't deserve it.

* * *

They arrive late at night and, by the time they make it to their rooms, all either of them have the energy to do is flop down onto the couch.

'One more time, for posterity's sake, why did we have to arrive this late?' asks Holly.

'I want your first sight of the city to be in the morning,' Artemis replies, his eyes closed.

Holly gives him a funny look. 'Ri-ight,' she shrugs, chalking it up as yet another element in his mysterious plan.

Artemis reaches, eyes still closed, for the telephone. 'Will you call room service and ask them to bring up some hot chocolate?' He passes her the phone.

'You do it.'

'I'm not quite at my most authoritative right now. I wouldn't want the hired help to hear me at less than my best.'

Holly laughs and places the order. She even, when the knock comes ten minutes later, gets up and answers the door.

'You'd better not make me regret all this kindness tomorrow, Artemis,' she warns him, placing the tray on the table before them.

'I won't,' he opens his eyes and leans forward to pour for them both, a gesture of good will. 'Besides, the hot chocolate here is to die for; it's worth the bother.'

Taking a sip, Holly has to admit he's got a point. She kicks off her shoes, props her feet up on the table and leans back into the couch. 'Mmm,' she hums as she closes her eyes and wriggles deeper into the cushions.

Artemis watches her over the rim of his cup and smiles ever so slightly.

'I'm onto you, Arty,' she speaks suddenly, turning her head to peer up at him over the corner of a cushion. 'You're lulling me into a false sense of security so that I won't think about tomorrow, when I'm going to have to take down half a dozen, heavily armed hit men while you con their boss into some sleazy business deal. I can see straight through you.'

'I'm really so transparent?' Artemis sighs in mock dismay.

'With skin that white, you bet you are,' Holly laughs. 'I'm supposed to be the one with an aversion to sunlight; you haven't got an excuse.'

'I don't care for skin cancer?' Artemis offers.

Holly shakes her head, 'You really need to get out more, Arty. It isn't healthy to stay inside with all those computers like that. You'll end up like Foaly in another couple of decades.'

'Heaven forbid.'

'Well, I don't know about you, but I for one do not find paranoia and tinfoil hats attractive qualities in a guy.'

'Then I suppose I'll just have to hope there's a human Caballine out there for me somewhere.'

'Hey, it never hurts to dream.'

'Ouch.'

Holly chuckles. 'Speaking of which, did you know that Juliet has a boyfriend? I nearly KO'd him in our hallway the other day.'

'Do you make a habit of mauling strangers outside your flat?'

'What? No, we were inside the flat.'

'You haven't got a hallway inside your flat.'

Holly rolls her eyes. 'I mean the space in between the couch and the bathroom.'

'Ah, you mean the fifty centimetres that aren't even enough to allow the bathroom door to open fully. That is not a hallway - that's a few floorboards which somehow, miraculously, managed not to be swallowed by your couch.'

'"Tomato, tomahto". The point is that Juliet has had a boyfriend for weeks and I never even knew.'

'Maybe she was worried you would do something like, oh, I don't know, knock him out in the hallway.'

'Pest!' Holly laughs, 'You're such a smartass, Artemis.'

'I try,' Artemis sips his hot chocolate with dignity.

Holly shifts over, leaning her head on his shoulder. His heart nearly shuts down. 'Well, at any rate, he's very nice. Very freckle-y. Looks like one strong breeze would knock him right over.'

'Well, we know how he fares with diminutive red-heads,' Artemis recovers his calm enough to smirk.

'Keep that up and we'll see how _you _fare with diminutive red-heads.'

'I'm shaking in my boots,' he shudders dramatically.

'Cut that out,' she slaps him lightly, 'I'm trying to relax here.'

'Terribly sorry.' Artemis goes very still. Minutes pass. Her hair brushes his neck just above his collar as, excruciatingly slowly, he can feel her body unwinding, her breath evening out. Moving as little as possible, he takes the cup from her fingers and places it on the side table. She murmurs something unintelligible.

'Yes, I totally agree,' he whispers mock-seriously.

'Mmm,' she says, shifting her legs off the table and tucking them under her. He freezes again, but she is fast asleep.

He contemplates moving her but doesn't think he's quite up to the task. Also, he can't think of a reasonable excuse to stay beside her should he move her to a bed. In the end, he shrugs (mentally) and lets his eyes close and his head rest on top of hers.

* * *

Holly wakes up half buried in cushions and next to something warm. She props herself up on an elbow, peeling her cheek off the couch's brocade. Looking back over her shoulder, she sees that Artemis has curled himself around her for warmth. She frowns, trying to remember just when they had got themselves into this position. Nothing comes to mind.

By now relatively used to waking up next to Artemis, she just shrugs, moving to get off the couch. But, as she shifts, an arm she hadn't previously registered clamps down around her, followed by an incomprehensible mumble. She blows out her cheeks and takes another look at the sleeping boy.

His face is turned up towards her, one cheek red from being pressed into the couch. Under his pale eyelids she can see his eyes flicking back and forth. His mouth is slightly open. Absently, she wonders if he ever drools in his sleep. _Probably not, drooling is for the rest of us mere mortals._

Turning over underneath his arm, she wriggles a hand free and lightly runs a finger over his bottom lip. The skin is chapped and Holly wonders if he's getting sick. His head shifts under her touch and she withdraws her hand guiltily. Breathing a sigh of relief when he doesn't wake up, she turns back around and, eventually, goes back to sleep.

* * *

'_You're Myles, yes?'_

'_That's right.' The boy eyes the blonde before him warily. He knows her by sight as a friend of his brother's but has never actually spoken to her. 'You're Minerva?'_

'_That's me,' she smiles winningly. 'Myles, I have a proposition to put to you.'_

'_Oh, really?' Myles sets aside his book._

'_Mm hmm,' Minerva sits down beside him. 'You're.... ah, fond of Holly, aren't you?'_

_Myles shrugs. _

'_Well, you see Myles, the thing is, Holly's sick. It's nothing serious, it's not even really an illness. More like her body has gone through some changes lately that no one was expecting. She has very unique genes. That's the reason she's here, you see. Artemis is experimenting on her to try and change her back.'_

_Myles' eyes widen._

'_But when Artemis finds a cure, Myles, Holly will leave and go back to her home.'_

'_Leave?' Myles repeats uncertainly. 'No, she won't leave, she likes Artemis too much.'_

_Minerva looks down at the boy, a knowing expression on her face. 'Likes Artemis too much? Myles, how long do you think that will last after she is cured? He will do something cruel and hurt her and then, because she's cured, there will be nothing forcing her to stay. She'll leave forever.'_

_Myles licks his lips. 'Why forever?'_

'_Because Holly comes from a secret family, Myles. She isn't supposed to know other people like you or me, and she certainly isn't supposed to live with them.'_

'_Why would Artemis try to cure her if it means she'll leave?'_

'_Because, if he finds a cure, he'll be famous. It would be a very important scientific discovery,' Minerva weaves fact with fiction without batting an eyelash. 'He's using her, that's all.'_

_Myles frowns. 'Is Artemis close to finding the answer?'_

'_Yes,' Minerva nods solemnly. 'In fact, he's got a prototype already made.'_

_He swallows._

'_The thing is, Myles, I'm like your brother; I want to be famous too. Your brother's prototype is also the basis for a different project that I am working on. I'm trying to recreate Holly's changes, you see. The opposite of your brother's project. And this is where you come in, Myles; I want you to get the prototype for me. That way I can start my project and Artemis can never change Holly back. She can stay with you forever.'_

_Myles frowns, 'How do I know I can trust you? How do I know any of this is true?'_

_Minerva smiles, 'Do you know where Holly came from? Has your brother ever acted suspiciously about her origins? Do they ever go away to hospitals, or leave by themselves for days at a time? Or, even, have you ever seen a bottle of thick liquid, like tomato juice gone rancid, in your brother's keeping?'_

_Myles' eyes widen as he remembers the vial Artemis had been holding that day... right after he and Holly had returned from the hospital. 'Yes,' he whispers. 'Is that the prototype?'_

'_Yes, that's it.' Minerva tilts her head, looking him in the eye, 'What do you think, Myles? Will you do this for me?'_

'_Yes,' Myles clenches his jaw. 'Yes.'_

* * *

Myles pushes open the door to his brother's room slowly, as though afraid Artemis could still be inside.

_Don't be ridiculous, he and Holly left two hours ago for Amsterdam. _He frowns, _Probably to run more tests at a hospital there._

He slips into the room, shutting the door behind him. He thought back to the vial he had seen. Luckily for him, he doesn't know about Artemis' illegal activities and the many hidey-holes and secret safes they engender. If he did, he probably would have abandoned the search there and then as utterly impossible.

Which would have been a mistake. Artemis, it's true, has locked away most of Opal's serum in a safe Myles would have no chance of ever unlocking, even if, by pure chance, he somehow managed to find it. However, he had taken a sample of Opal's concoction before locking it away – the vial Myles' saw him toying with. This he has simply left in one of the cubby holes of his roll-top desk, thinking his house to be, after all, one of the most secure buildings on the planet; which, in his defence, it is. Never in a million years would Artemis have suspected that his younger brother would come ferreting through his things, looking for a vial of what appeared to be tomato juice gone bad.

It takes Myles twenty minutes of delicately rifling through papers and gingerly opening drawers, to find what he is looking for. Sighing with relief, he slides the vial into his pocket and slips back out onto the landing.


	13. Chapter 13

Er, so, I somehow managed to get my chapters mixed up and posted chapter 14 instead of 13. Ad then of course the site wouldn't let me log in. Ah well. Think of it as two for one...? This is for all of you who wondered where the heck Amsterdam went.

And heaps of thank yous to ilex-ferox for betaing and not even making fun of me when I forgot my own chapters.

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: Keeping it Casual

'_You know, I don't think I'm ever going to have the opportunity use any of the new stuff Butler's taught me.' She slips her feet between the railings of the bridge, resting her forearms on the top rail and leaning out over the water._

'_Be careful that you don't fall,' he says. Then, 'Are you saying I should try harder to get myself killed? Butler usually said the opposite.'_

_She laughs, shifting her weight onto her arms and kicking her legs out behind her. 'It's just a bit ironic, don't you think? Now that I'm _supposed_ to be keeping you safe, all I do is play tourist. Not that I mind, it makes a nice change.' She knocks superstitiously on the wooden rail._

'_However, it's not quite as thrilling, is it?'_

_She turns to face him, leaning a hip against the railing. 'Maybe there aren't as many goblin gangs or hungry trolls or crazed megalomaniacs running after us but, honestly, I think we've got enough mind games on the go to keep things from getting dull.'_

'_Oh really? And what are we playing right now?' He raises an eyebrow. The one above his hazel eye._

_She brushes his hair off his forehead. 'A waiting game,' she says._

'_Your hair is getting long,' he comments, stepping back from her. Let her come to him for once. Make her realise she wants to._

_Chuckling, she turns back to the canal. 'You never play fair. _You're_ supposed to be the one waiting, not me. You're not supposed to step away, you're supposed to step forward. Don't switch roles like that.'_

'_All's fair in love and war.'_

'_Remind me – which one is this, again?'_

'_A bit of both.'_

_The light is playing tricks with her skin again. Gold swims just below the brown. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, wanting to step forward but unwilling lose what ground he's gained._

_Abruptly, she turns, taking him by the chin – like he has done to her – and kissing him. It isn't the soft, surprised acquiescence he's used to; one arm hooks around his neck, snapping their bodies together and the hand on his chin falls to his chest, clutching the material of his shirt. _

_Then, as suddenly as it started, it's over. She steps back, taking in his wide eyes, and the corners of her lips twitch._

'_You won this one,' she tells him, 'but that doesn't mean you've won the war.' And she turns on her heel, starting back towards their hotel._

_Still reeling from her kiss, he swallows, his throat dry, and calls after her, 'I only fight wars I already know I'll win.' _

_She just laughs._

_Hurrying to catch up with her, he presses a hand to his lips and wonders if he has, in fact, won this particular battle._

'_You're right,' she comments nonchalantly as he joins her, 'my hair is getting long. I can nearly tuck it behind my ears.'_

* * *

Holly wakes a second time to the smell of fresh bread and sliced fruit.

'Nng,' she props herself up on an elbow. _That's one good thing about Artemis,_ she thinks groggily, _I'll never have to worry about how I look in the morning – he's already seen me looking my worst._

'That suit is going to need to be pressed,' Artemis speaks across a coffee table laden with food.

'Managed to call room service on your own, did you?' Holly peels herself off the sofa, rubbing both hands over her face and giving her head a quick shake.

'It was difficult, but I persevered,' Artemis' lips twitch.

'Uh oh, he's making jokes again. 10-4, code red, code red.' Holly feigns terror, 'Someone is going to end up in tears by tonight - if not in pieces.'

Artemis looks up at the ceiling and sighs. 'Tea?'

'Please,' Holly sheds her jacket and rolls up her sleeves, preparing to eat a delicious breakfast. 'What time is it?' she asks, taking a brioche from the basket.

'7:30. If we're quick we'll be just in time for rush hour.'

Holly pauses, brioche half-way to her mouth. 'Rush hour?' she repeats.

'Yes, that's what I said,' Artemis hands her a cup of tea. 'Hurry and eat, or we'll miss it.'

'We _want _to be out in rush hour?' Holly frowns.

'Yes.' Artemis nibbles a slice of peach, 'Well, at least as pedestrians.'

'Artemis,' Holly takes a bite of her bun, then waves it for emphasis, 'have I ever told you that you make _no sense_?'

'Frequently. Eat your breakfast.'

Holly rolls her eyes. 'Yes, mother.'

Half an hour later, fed, showered, changed and heavily armed, Holly puts a hand up to keep the sun out of her eyes as they emerge onto the streets of Amsterdam.

'Frond!' Holly's jaw drops as they walk. 'There are so many bicycles!'

Artemis smiles, 'Mmm.'

'But – where are the cars?' she frowns at the congested roads. 'For goodness' sake, the bicycles are having traffic jams!'

'Mmm.'

Something about Artemis' tone makes Holly tear her eyes away from the swarming mass of brightly coloured metal and plastic. She eyes him for a moment before realisation dawns. Stopping in her tracks, Holly crosses her arms as she turns to him. 'There's no secret meeting with Dutch drug importers, is there?' It's a statement, not a question. 'No crazy international heist going down or... or anything. We're here for the bicycles.' Her voice is incredulous.

'Mmm.'

'You brought me to Amsterdam to see bicycles,' Holly repeats.

'Mmm,' Artemis feigns interest in something far in the distance.

She looks up at him. All she can see of his face is the underside of his jaw and the shadow below his cheekbone. The summer sun is only just clearing the tops of the buildings and its light sweeps along the pavement.

'This is an apology, isn't it?' she says at last.

Still looking away from her, Artemis purses his lips. 'Mmm,' he replies after a moment.

Holly laughs, 'You know, Artemis,' she loops an arm through one of his, 'I think you look your best in the mornings.'

'Oh?' He does look down at her then, thrown by her sudden change of topic.

'Yes, the sunlight makes you look nearly human.'

Artemis huffs and tries to break away. She tightens her hold on his arm. 'Apology accepted,' she says.

He lets her keep her arm where it is.

* * *

When Myles first gave her the vial, eyes wide with adrenaline and guilt, she had bitten her lip to keep from pointing out that a vial isn't a bottle. Butler had said bottle.

However, she supposes Artemis must have divided up his supply because the contents of the vial, she discovers while flipping through the results of her tests, match Butler's admittedly vague description of the serum. For heaven's sake, it even contains magic. Something her computers had no idea what to do with.

Minerva reaches for her teacup and smiles like the Cheshire Cat.

* * *

'Well, well, well, look who's back in town.' Mulch's leer greets Holly from her dining table as she returns to the flat two days later.

'Juliet told you, didn't she?' Holly lets her bag fall with a thump as she crosses her arms.

'I did promise to keep him in the know,' Juliet speaks from the stove where she is sautéing various mosses and larvae for the dwarf. 'Speaking of which, you owe me big time, Diggums. Gossip _and _sautéed bugs? You had better cough up something spectacular.'

Mulch looks unconcerned. 'I'll dig you up a pretty stone, how's about that?'

'It'd better be the world's prettiest bloody stone.'

The dwarf grins. 'Don't tempt me. I'm sure I could get my hands on some exquisite stones.'

'She doesn't want stolen ones, Mulch. And you've gone straight, remember?'

Mulch sighs dramatically, before turning the hairy finger of blame on Holly. 'You're trying to distract me. I came up here for a reason - I want to know _all_ about your weekend. Come on, you can tell old Uncle Mulch.'

Holly rolls her eyes. 'It was hardly a weekend; we left on a Sunday night and came back on a Tuesday night. Last I checked, weekends start on Friday, not Sunday, nights.'

Mulch dismisses this information with a wave of his hand. 'Stop splitting hairs, Holly.'

Hauling her bag to her room, Holly speaks over her shoulder. 'We went, we stayed in a fancy hotel, we ate expensive food, we looked at bicycles, and then we came home.'

Juliet and Mulch frown at each other over the bowl of bugs Juliet has just placed on the table.

'You went all the way to Amsterdam just to look at bikes?'Juliet asks incredulously.

'And what's so interesting about bikes that it took two days to look at?' Mulch, familiar with the human invention form his numerous aboveground sojourns, has never seen the appeal. What a long way to fall. And, let's face it, eventually _everyone_ falls.

Holly reappears in the main room, smiling Artemis' vampire smile. 'Wouldn't you like to know?'

Mulch shudders. 'I hate it when she impersonates Mud Boy. It's like all of his guile just got the ability to break your nose, on top of everything else.'

Opening the fridge, Holly laughs. 'Well then, Uncle mine, unless you want all of Artemis' guile to _actually_ break your nose, may I suggest that you _drop it_?'

'Let's put it this way,' Juliet wipes her hands on a tea towel, 'they've been on their own for two days and she's come home in a good mood. So, either Dom's gonna call any second now to tell me that Artemis is dead in a ditch, or the boy actually managed to do something nice for once. Though what bikes have to do with it, I don't get.'

'You call threats of actual bodily harm a _good _mood?' Mulch asks around a mouthful of moss.

Juliet shrugs. 'If she were angry they wouldn't just be threats.'

'True.'

Holly, perched on the kitchen counter, eats fruit and yoghurt out of a glass and laughs.

'My money's on him dead in a ditch,' Mulch mutters.

Juliet shakes her head, 'Two pretty stones says he was nice.'

'You're on.'

* * *

Artemis returns from Amsterdam to find a long-awaited letter sitting on his desk.

'Did you have a good time?' Butler asks innocently, as he brings the boy a cup of tea.

'Mm hmm,' Artemis replies, pretending to concentrate on his letter.

'That fantastic, huh?' Butler rolls his eyes. 'What does the university have to say?'

'That I've been accepted as a lecturer.'

'What a surprise,' Butler deadpans.

'Not really,' Artemis misses the sarcasm, 'but they want me to teach a first year course; Butler, that's _teenagers_.'

'You can hardly expect preference over senior lecturers, Artemis,' Butler points out.

'I am more intelligent than all of their tenured professors put together. I'm not doing this because I intend to pursue a career in Academia. I'm doing this because I thought it would be an amusing pastime. First year courses are not only dull with regard to their content but are attended almost entirely by obnoxious, hormone-driven morons.'

'That sounds terrible,' Butler fights down a smile.

Artemis opens his mouth to agree when he catches sight of Butler's face. 'You're mocking me,' he accuses.

'Only a little, Artemis.'

The boy sighs. 'I suppose I can always resign if it's too tedious.'

'That's the spirit. Stiff upper lip.'

Artemis shoots the enormous man a withering glare as he puts the letter away in his desk. Butler just chuckles.

Opening an inner drawer, Artemis pauses, looking at an empty space that should be full. _Interesting, _he thinks. _Now who do we know that, out of everything to steal in this room, would take a vial of apparently useless gunk?_

Unbidden, one name comes unbidden into his mind and he smiles nastily. _Let the games begin, Minerva._

* * *

In the aftermath of Amsterdam, Holly finds herself waking up in the mornings and wondering why she has so much space all to herself. Juliet's prattle, which once made her smile, now fails to capture her attention. The flat seems small and cramped yet, at the same time, vast and empty. When Holly walks, she drags her fingers along the walls beside her.

'You could always go visit, you know,' Juliet tells her one day.

'Pardon?' Holly blinks.

Juliet rolls her eyes. 'The Manor. You could always go visit the Manor.'

'What makes you think I want to do that?'

Juliet looks at Holly. Her face has "do I look like an idiot to you?" written all over it.

'I think I'll just go for a walk,' Holly collects her jacket.

'Take your bicycle, that way if you change your mind, you can bike over there.'

'Goodbye, Juliet.'

'I'm just being practical,' the blonde calls as Holly shuts the door.

* * *

'Hello? Artemis?'

'Who else would be answering this phone?' comes the sarcastic reply.

Holly smiles to herself, slipping one hand into her jeans' pocket. 'Are you doing anything right now?'

'No... why?'

'You want to come for a walk?'

'Now?'

'No, I was thinking next Tuesday.' The sarcasm is thick enough to drown in.

A sigh. 'Where are you?'

'Ha'penny Bridge, I'm tourist-watching.'

Another sighs, 'This will involve me coming into town, won't it?'

She shrugs, though he can't see it. 'The Manor grounds are large enough.'

'No, on second thoughts, I will come down. Father's going to dinner at The Tea Rooms with some fellow investors; I'll drive in with him. His dinner's in half an hour.'

'Brilliant. I'll meet you in the hotel lobby?'

'Mm. Have you eaten?'

'No, I was thinking about just going and-'

'Stop, please, you don't need to tell me. It will only make me nauseous. I'll make a reservation at Eden for later tonight.'

Biting her lip, she pulls her hand out of her pocket and runs a fingernail along a crack in the railing. 'Okay,' she smiles.

'I'll see you then,' he says.

'Yes,' she licks her lips.

A middle aged woman from Bar Harbor, Maine, stops her husband for a moment and asks for the camera. Holding the little box in front of her, she frames the shot. Her husband watches over her shoulder; she's still getting used to all this newfangled digital technology. In the tiny screen he sees a slender girl, her forearms pressing into the railing as she leans too far out over the water. Her red hair is lit by the sinking sun and her teeth are bright as she grins up at the hazy summer sky.

'Photographing the natives, Penny?' he chuckles. 'This is hardly Papua New Guinea.'

She swats at him good-naturedly. 'She just looks so _happy_, don't you think?'

* * *

Holly feels decidedly underdressed to be lounging around in the lobby of the Clarence Hotel. But, just when she's sure the desk clerk is going to have her thrown out, a group of nine or ten men in beautifully cut linen enter the hotel; amongst them, Holly spots Artemis Senior and Junior. The fact that she's waiting for one of these impeccably dressed people does nothing to make her feel more at ease. Though, to be fair, Artemis has made an effort to dress casually for her sake. Not only has he foregone a suit jacket and tie, but -

_Frond, are his sleeves rolled up?_ Holly raises an impressed eyebrow, fighting to keep from laughing. Then another thought strikes her. _Oh d'Arvit, I hope his dad doesn't make a big deal out of this..._

'Holly!' the man in question spots her right away, coming over to take her hands in his. 'What a lovely surprise. Are you coming to dinner with us?'

'Err, no.' Holly tries to subtly withdraw her hands but can't quite manage it. 'I'm just grabbing Artemis.'

'Oh? I didn't realise.' Artemis Senior grins at his son. 'So _this _iswhy you suddenly needed a ride into town, Artemis? Well, don't let us old folks get in your way. Have a nice night, now!'

'Thanks,' Holly smiles stiffly.

Artemis looks at the ceiling.

'Old folks, my foot,' Holly mutters to him as, elbowing each other and winking, the others leave them. 'I'm twice his age!'

He chuckles softly. 'Shall we?'

'Please. The desk clerk has been shooting me dirty looks for the past fifteen minutes. Somehow I don't think he feels my jeans add to the décor.'

'I wonder why.'

Holly rolls her eyes. 'Next time I go out for a walk, I'll make sure to wear one of my Deborah Veales.'

* * *

'Which is why-'Artemis turns to his companion only to find she's disappeared. 'Holly? Where - oh for heaven's sake.'

A few feet behind him, Holly has her nose pressed to a shop window. 'I want one,' is all she says when Artemis joins her.

'They pollute, you know,' he replies.

'Yes, but I could get a solar battery from Foaly. And you could show me how to wire it all together.'

'I don't do motor mechanics,' comes the disdainful reply.

Holly turns big, shining eyes on him.

'Stop that, it's beneath you.'

'But they're so beautiful. Well, for a human construction at least.'

'How generous of you.'

'I'm thinking about that red one at the back.'

'It does look as though it could go rather fast.'

'Well, that _is_ the point.'

'Just as long as you never expect me to go near it once I've drawn you a diagram of how to attach a solar battery.'

'Not even once? Come on, it'd be good for you.'

'Out of the question.'

'Coward.'

'I prefer "sane".' He puts a hand under her elbow, 'Our reservation is for fifteen minutes from now.'

Holly presses a hand to her heart as he drags her away. 'Don't worry, I'll be back, Paddy's Motorbike Mayhem.'

Artemis rolls his eyes.

* * *

'I've been hired as a lecturer in the Physics department at the university,' Artemis tells her over dessert. They are sitting out on the terrace; across Meeting House Square, Casablanca is being projected on the wall of the Gallery of Photography. So far, Holly hasn't seen the appeal of this film. Then again, she hasn't been paying very close attention.

'Oh yes?' she raises an eyebrow. 'Do they know how old you are?'

'They know that I'll soon be twenty,' he shrugs.

'And they still hired you?' She stares over her tea cup.

Artemis smiles, showing his incisors. 'Considering my multiple degrees and the fact that Fowl money stocked a good portion of the Long Room, it wasn't a difficult choice, I believe.'

'Show-off,' she chuckles appreciatively. 'Congratulations, Artemis. What'll you be teaching?'

He wrinkles his nose, 'Special Relativity and Nuclear Physics as part of the Theoretical Physics course: Junior and Senior Freshman years respectively.'

She laughs, 'I guess those're the only kids they have that are younger than you are! And not even then, really.'

'It's going to be dull.'

'Oh, poor baby. I'll see if I can rustle up another apocalypse in time for Christmas, shall I?' Holly winks.

'Your sympathy is deeply touching. However, my point was that I'm going to need a driver. Butler picks up the twins from kindergarten at the same time as I finish, unfortunately.'

Holly puts down her cup. 'Ah,' she says.

'Will you do it?'

She leans back in her chair, her head tilted to one side as she eyes him. Then she laughs. 'Of course I will - unless something comes up for the LEP, obviously. But I'm not bringing you after-school snacks, you'll have to pack your own lunch.'

Artemis laughs. 'I'm sure Pierre does a wonderful after-school snack.'

'Well, I would expect to less from the man who "makes the best lamb outside Greece".'

'Will you never grow to like my father?'

'I'm working on it,' she says. 'But Frond, you're just so demanding, wanting me to like one unlikeable person after another. Your father. Minerva. _You_,' she grins at him.

'Terribly sorry,' Artemis tries to look contrite, but can't quite manage it.

'Yeah, I've never heard _that_ one before.' Holly laughs. She turns to look out over the square, a puzzled expression on her face.

'Yes?'

A slight laugh, then - 'Artemis, we're eating dinner together. At a posh restaurant in Dublin. We're talking about, well, banalities. I'm over a metre tall. Doesn't this strike you as just the teensiest bit odd?'

He shrugs. 'I find I'm growing accustomed to it very quickly.'

'But it's still a bizarre situation.'

'Alright,' he concedes, 'it is a bit strange.'

'I keep waiting for something cataclysmic to happen... anything... just a bit of normality.'

'Yes, global catastrophe, how commonplace,' comes the dry response.

The corners of her lips twitch. 'I know, I know, it's silly. But then, you and inevitable disaster have always been sort of synonymous in my mind.'

'I'll take that as a compliment.'

She grins at him. 'By the way,' she says, 'happy birthday – for tomorrow. Do you know, you're a very difficult person to shop for? What do you get someone who has everything?'

'Thank you,' Artemis laughs, 'but you really needn't bother. There's nothing I want.'

'Nothing at all?' Holly raises her eyebrows.

Artemis leans back in his chair and smiles with all his teeth. 'Well...' he looks at her across the table, letting the unspoken suggestion hang between them.

Holly sips her tea with forced calm. 'How flattering,' she says at last. 'Maybe for Christmas.'

Artemis sighs, still smiling. 'It was worth a try.'

She laughs. 'Yes, it was. Is anything happening for your birthday, though? Drunken rave on the beach?'

'Just dinner with the family, I believe. Nothing out of the ordinary. You'll be coming, won't you?'

'Well, when you give me such advance notice, how can I not? Of course I'm coming, Arty.' Holly grins at him from over the rim of her teacup.


	14. Chapter 14

Okay, this isn't really an update, you've read this chapter before. This is chapter fourteen, not thirteen. So, go back and read chapter thirteen! Because that one is new!

Sorry, guys. Really.

Yay! ilex-ferox!

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: Breakthrough

Minerva frowns, scrolling through her notes once more. Reaching the end, her expression clears and she smiles.

'Oh dear, Artemis,' she speaks to herself, 'I do believe I've beaten you to the end of the rainbow.'

Like Artemis and Foaly, she has long since discovered the serum's ability to re-assemble itself after being broken down. Intrigued, she'd separated the magic-enhanced mutagen from the human DNA and mixed it with dog's blood, then fed it into a sample of Holly's blood from the handkerchief she'd lent her. Amazed, she watched through the microscope as the DNA shifted, the genes' usual expressions blocked as the RNA confused the dog's makeup with what it was supposed to be relaying to the DNA for copying purposes. The transformation was incredibly rapid; in the space of a few minutes, Minerva had been sitting with a Petri dish of golden retriever genes. If that was the case, theoretically she could reverse the process by doing exactly the same thing using elf blood.

The only problem: where is she going to get elf blood?

Minerva isn't overly worried about this, the solution will come to her; it always does.

* * *

Holly knocks on Juliet's door, wearing a smock and a disgruntled expression.

'Come in, Holly.'

Pushing the door open, Holly enters the darkened room, arms akimbo. 'Juliet, I can't reach the back of my hair. I need your help. Good morning, Arthur. By the way, it's eleven; you might want to hurry if you're going to your lecture.'

A muffled expletive is heard, and the shock of red hair just visible behind Juliet's shoulder moves as a hand appears, waving hello. Holly chuckles.

'Wait,' Juliet squints at Holly, 'what are you trying to do?'

'Cut my hair.'

'Ohh. Why didn't you say so in the first place? Gimme one minute, I'll be right out.'

'Thanks, Juliet. I'll be in the bathroom.'

'Right. Now where the hell did I put my trousers?' Juliet peers into the shadows.

'Good luck.' Laughing, Holly exits the perpetual mess that is Juliet's room.

Five minutes later, Juliet joins Holly in the bathroom, where the red-head is snipping at her fringe. 'It's just the back,' Holly explains. 'I can't quite reach.'

'Mmm,' Juliet eyes Holly's hair critically. 'Well, I refuse to cut it back to that awful buzz cut -_talk_ about prison camp - so, if that's what you want, you're on your own, girl.'

'No, I just want to trim it a bit. I'm not used to being able to tuck hair behind my ears. It's weirding me out,' Holly scrunches up her nose.

'Oh yeah, national crisis alright,' Juliet takes the scissors from Holly's hand. 'You trust me?'

Holly shudders, 'I hate that question.'

'Well?'

The other woman sighs. 'Yes. Do what you want. But nothing crazy, okay?'

'Would I do that to you?'

Holly's flat look in the mirror is answer enough.

* * *

Absently, Holly runs a hand along the back of her head, making the hair stand on end. She loves the feeling of a new haircut. Humming along to the radio, she flips the pancake she's cooking into the air, deftly catching it in the pan.

'Well done,' Butler comments from the table. 'Pancakes, huh? You're really expanding your culinary repertoire.'

'I know, eh?' Holly grins, bending back to look at him through the space between the counter and the cabinets. 'Juliet's even taught me to make a proper pasta sauce. I'm well on my way to becoming a five star chef.'

Artemis snorts his disbelief.

'You don't have to eat them,' Holly waves the spatula at him.

'When did you have your hair cut?' he changes the subject.

'Friday. It was a joint effort.'

'Juliet did the back?' Butler guesses.

'Mm hmm. Artemis, get the plates, will you? These are just about done. It's harder to cut the back when you're not just buzzing it,' she turns back to Butler, who is watching in amazement as Artemis does indeed 'get the plates'.

'I hope these pancakes are worth all this manual labour,' Artemis comments as he lays out the crockery.

'You won't even know what hit you. I may be a novice, but I make a mean blueberry pancake. Plus, there's real maple syrup.'

'You really went all out,' Butler ruffles her new 'do as she brings a tottering plate of pancakes to the table.

'It's the fall equinox,' Holly shrugs. 'This is an important holiday under the ground; I wanted to celebrate.'

'Do we need to say a prayer or something?' Butler seats himself.

Holly looks at him, eyebrows raised, 'Prayer? I'm a modern fairy, Butler. It's eat what you can before Foaly does, where I come from.'

The giant man laughs, reaching for a pancake. 'Works for me.'

'I take it we'll be graced by Foaly's presence this morning?'Artemis nods to the laptop sitting precariously at the end of the overcrowded table.

'Right as usual, Arty. Any minute now. Tea?'

'Please,' Artemis holds out his cup. 'Where is Juliet?'

'She and Arthur went out for brunch at Odessa.'

Butler liberally dresses his pancakes in stewed fruit and cashew cream. 'I'm going to need to meet this Arthur person soon. I keep hearing about him, but she never brings him over. And how many months has it been?'

'Since June sometime. Maybe even May, actually,' Holly tucks one foot up onto the chair, her other leg swinging back and forth. 'He's really sweet. She's probably just worried he'll faint at the sight of you.'

Butler rolls his eyes, opening his mouth to speak when the laptop screen flickers to life.

'Happy Equinox!!' Mulch, Foaly, Vinyáya, N°1 and Trouble vie for screen space, grinning and waving.

Holly beams. 'Same to you!'

'Heeeey, nice grub.' Mulch peers at the stack of pancakes, 'You make that, Big Man?'

'No, Holly did.'

'Wow, and you guys are _eating _it? I thought the Mud Boy was supposed to be smart?' the dwarf cackles.

'I didn't realise you'd become so domesticated since moving above ground,' Vinyáya smirks. 'Nice hair by the way.'

'Thanks. You like it? Juliet did it. And don't worry – meals like this are hardly a regular occurrence.'

'Obviously,' Mulch snorts, 'or you three wouldn't still be around to tell the tale.'

'My cooking is not that bad!' Holly protests, smiling.

'That's true, Mulch,' Trouble turns to the ex-convict. 'After all, something that doesn't exist can't be bad, can it?'

'Hey!' Holly exclaims through her laughter.

Mulch guffaws, 'I stand corrected.'

Vinyáya snickers. 'Do you remember that time in the Academy when she lived for a month on fruit juice and rice because she couldn't afford take-aways or protein bars?'

'Yes,' Trouble crows, 'she swore she'd never eat rice again!'

'Look, there's only so much you can do with rice and soy sauce before it loses its charm, alright?' Holly defends herself. 'Besides, now I can make rice better than a Japanese grandmother.'

Mulch shakes his head. 'It's a good thing you went into law enforcement, Holly, because you'd have failed at housewifery.'

'She just has to marry rich and she's good to go,' Vinyáya adds, cackling. Artemis' lips twitch.

'O ye of little faith,' Holly crosses her arms. 'These pancakes are delicious.'

Five heads swivel to look at Butler and Artemis across the table.

'Fabulous, just wonderful-'

'Truly beyond compare. A masterpiece-' Butler and Artemis hurry to reach for seconds.

Underground, the Ops Booth erupts into laughter.

'Next time I visit, you'll have to make me some,' Mulch waggles his hairy eyebrows.

'After the way you've just been slagging off my cooking? I don't think so!'

'Well, how else am I ever going to know if they're any good?'

Holly laughs, shaking her head. 'Fine, fine.'

There comes a knock at the Ops Booth door.

'Oh, that's Doodah,' Mulch turns, talking from off screen. 'I've gotta hit the road, we're going for dinner.'

'Dinner?' Holly raises an eyebrow. 'Didn't your mother ever teach you not to date your co-workers?'

'Sure, but she never said anything about co-owners.' Mulch winks, pushing his way back into sight. 'I'll be up soon, okay?'

Trouble clears his throat.

Mulch rolls his eyes. 'I mean, I'll be by next decade when I manage to get a legal visa. Yeah. Right. See you, Holly. Butler, Mud Boy.'

'Have fun!' Holly calls after him.

'I always do!' comes the faint, disembodied reply.

'Wait,' Vinyáya pops a mint into her mouth, 'when did Diggums get together with Day?'

'A month? Two?' Trouble turns to Foaly for confirmation.

'Don't look at me. The less I have to do with that reeking midget, the happier I am,' Foaly responds. 'Two and half next Saturday.'

'You knew?' Vinyáya points an accusatory finger at Trouble.

'Even _I_ knew,' N°1 pipes up.

Vinyáya crosses her arms, blowing out her fringe. 'Why does no one _tell_ me these things?'

'We just didn't think you'd be interested,' Trouble shrugs.

'You always seem so above trivial office gossip,' Foaly adds as the two of them dodge her swats, snickering into their sleeves.

Butler watches Artemis watch Holly, who has forgotten about her food, resting her chin in her palm, watching her friends and smiling. He shakes his head fondly.

Meanwhile, below ground, Trouble's communicator has gone off. He sighs. 'Duty calls. As always. I've got to run. Take care of yourself, Holly. I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer.'

'It's always good to see you, Trubs. Don't let Grub get away with anything too ridiculous.' She leans forward, touching her fingertips to the screen. He reaches up, placing his hand beneath hers.

'See you,' he smiles, and leaves.

'How's he doing as Commander?' Holly asks when the door clicks shut. 'It isn't getting him down?'

'He's doing wonderfully,' Vinyáya answers. 'As gung-ho as ever.'

'Except when it comes to paperwork,' Foaly grins.

'But is anyone ever gung-ho about paperwork?' puts in N°1, around an enormous yawn.

'True.'

Vinyáya looks at N°1, shaking her head. 'I promised Qwan I'd get you back at a decent hour, N°1. We're going home.'

'What? But we've only just started! What's the point of being nearly omnipotent if you can't stay up past your bedtime?'

'Well, when you're entirely omnipotent then you can stay out as long as you want.'

N°1 pouts. 'Fine. You're just lucky I like you, or you'd be an iguana right now.'

Vinyáya laughs. 'If you turned me into an iguana, I'd bite your toes off.'

'No transfiguration or bodily harm inside the Ops Booth or I'll have you both vaporised where you stand,' Foaly wags a finger.

'Wouldn't that count as bodily harm?' N°1 points out.

'Sure, but this is my office, I can break all the rules I want.'

Vinyáya rolls her eyes and waves up at the screen. 'Good night everyone, Happy Equinox.'

'Good night, Wing Commander, 'night N°1,' Holly waves her fork.

''Night Holly! Or good morning, I suppose, for you three. Have a good day! Bye Artemis and Butler!' N°1 waves energetically. 'You know, I'm really not tired,' he turns to Vinyáya.

'Sure you're not,' comes her voice from off screen.

'No, really, I – ' the sound of a yawn can be made out as their voices fade. '- I'm not tired...'

Foaly shakes his head, watching them leave. 'You know, that little guy's kinda grown on me. I mean, he's a bit wordy, but he's alright.'

'He's certainly very enthusiastic,' Artemis agrees.

'Tell me about it.'

Holly takes her first bite since the call came through. She chews thoughtfully for a minute, then asks, 'What about N°1, Foaly? Couldn't he synthesise some kind of cure?'

'We've thought of that already,' Artemis says, not looking at her. 'But it didn't work out.'

'Oh?' Holly puts her fork down.

'We don't know what it is we need him to synthesise, you see. With JayJay's brain fluid, we had an example for him to work from. With this, we know what we want, but not what that is physically.' Foaly explains. 'That said, he could make you _look _like an elf again, no problem, but not actually _be _one. You know what I mean?'

Holly picks up her fork again. 'Yeah, I know what you mean,' she gives him a half smile.

'Those pancakes look delicious,' Foaly unsubtly changes the subject. 'I have to say I'm impressed. I've never seen you make anything more complicated than a nettle smoothie.'

'What can I say?' Holly shrugs, 'A girl's got to adapt.'

* * *

Juliet's mobile phone rings unexpectedly. 'Hello?' she flips it open, rising from where she's been crouching beside Holly. 'Hey, honey... oh sorry, no, we're downstairs in the parking lot... yeah, we're working on Holly's new bike... sure you can. Okay, see you in a bit.'

Holly looks up from where she is wiring a solar battery into the hole where her shiny new red motorbike once had an enormous engine. 'Arthur?' she guesses.

'Uh huh, he's coming down.'

Sure enough, a few minutes later, a familiar crop of carrot-red hair can be seen bobbing towards them over the roofs of the parked cars.

'Oh wow, when did you get this?' Arthur runs a hand along the body of the motorbike.

'Yesterday,' Holly grins up at him.

'What are you guys doing to it?'

'Replacing the engine with a specially designed solar battery,' Juliet shrugs, as though this were an everyday occurrence.

Arthur blinks. 'Solar battery?'

Holly nods, stretching the truth a bit, 'I got it from one of Artemis' friends. They're not in production yet.'

'Wow, impressive.'

'I just couldn't justify that much petrol consumption,' Holly shrugs.

'You're really into the whole "reducing your global footprint" thing, aren't you?' Arthur asks rhetorically.

'Something like that,' Holly replies, wiping the back of her hand along her forehead and leaving a streak of grease. 'I'm trying to get it done before tonight - I leave for Nepal at seven. Wish me luck'

'Luck!' Arthur smiles. 'Nepal, huh? Cool! For work?'

'Something like that,' Holly repeats, her head almost entirely invisible inside the motorbike as she fiddles with the battery's casing.

Looking impressed, Arthur turns to the reason he came. 'You still want to go for lunch, Juliet?'

'Always!' She gives him a heart-stopping smile. 'You good on your own, Holly?'

'Of course. I'm nearly done, as it is. Enjoy yourselves!'

'Always!' repeats Arthur, taking Juliet's hand.

Holly watches them walk off and smiles to herself.

* * *

Drawing her neutrino, Holly approaches the cave entrance silently. Three days of travelling through the Himalayan foothills, topped off by two hours of near vertical ascent to reach this cave, have not left her in the best of moods. She hopes, for their sakes, that the two sprites inside are feeling co-operative.

Below her, the Nepalese country side rolls away beneath the early morning fog; the village, where she's been staying, utterly invisible. Holly cricks her neck, like she used to do to get her magic flowing. Now it's mostly a relaxation thing.

'Hello, boys,' she says as she enters the cave. It's always good to start things off sounding confident.

Two sprites, busy eyeing pieces of turquoise with jeweller's loupes, jump comically.

'Frond, a human!' Sprite A says to Sprite B.

'Mesmerize her and get her out of here!'

'I don't think so,' Holly has already donned a pair of Artemis' specialty: mirrored sunglasses. The irony doesn't escape her.

'Wait - she's speaking Gnommish,' B realises, mouth agape. When you can speak every language on and under the planet, sometimes it takes a moment to register which one's currently coming out of you're hearing.

'How in Frond's name - '

'LEP,' Holly flashes a badge. 'Now, if you'd be so kind as to put your hands in the air. Unless you want me to use force?'

The sprites are dumbfounded. Then A's brain kicks into gear and he dives for the rear exit. Holly has immobilised him before he's even finished turning. She's pleased with her reaction time; all that training with Butler and Juliet is paying off. Sprite B's eyes widen and, shakily, he raises his hands. 'Okay, okay, I know you humans are all a bit crazy. I won't go anywhere, just please don't shoot.'

Holly rolls her eyes. 'I was crazy long before I was human,' she says, remembering one particular run in with a shuttle terminal official on her way to bring Artemis in for questioning.

Clapping handcuffs, more akin to high-tech cable ties than metal cuffs, onto her perps, she locks them both to the table. 'Now just hold tight while I package this stuff up. The retrieval team'll be here at sundown. So we've got,' she peers out of the entrance, 'another hour? Be good and don't make me hurt you.'

'Yessir,' the conscious sprite gulps.

Holly packs up all the turquoise and pieces of silver work, then sits down on one of the crates, chin in hands.

'Err,' begins Sprite B, his natural chattiness irrepressible, 'since we've got some time to kill, do you mind if I ask, ah, just how you came to be working for the LEP?'

'I've worked for the LEP since I was in my seventies. I went through the Academy like any other cadet. I was the first female Recon captain the LEP ever had.'

'Frond's hang nail!' The sprite's mouth falls open yet again. 'I _know _you. You're Holly Short! _Goblin Rebellion_ is one of my favourite films!' He squints at her critically. 'You look nothing like yourself.'

Holly laughs. 'You mean Skylar Peat looks nothing like me. I was me first, after all.'

'Err, right.' The sprite frowns over her logic. 'But wait - I thought you retired to Machu Picchu. That's what everyone's saying, at any rate.''

'Just goes to show you shouldn't believe everything you hear,' Holly shakes a finger at him.

'How did you end up _human_?' he scratches his green scalp with his handcuffed hands.

'Long story,' Holly says, scuffing the dirt floor with the toe of a boot. 'Someone had a grudge to settle.'

'That's a pretty serious grudge! D'Arvit does that suck. _Human_,' the sprite shudders, grimacing horribly.

'S'ok, I'm getting used to it - slowly but surely.' Holly is momentarily taken aback by the strength of the fairy's revulsion. She's forgotten how most of the People regard humans – it's been a long time since she's shared those views.

'Still,' the sprite shakes his head, 'Frond, I am so sorry - really.'

'Thanks,' Holly smiles. 'I don't usually get sympathy from my prisoners.'

'Hey,' B looks at her pityingly, 'this goes beyond cops and robbers. This is about Us and Them.'

'Right,' Holly says. Us and Them. She wishes, not for the first time in her life, that the borders between those two were just a little less rigid.

Her communicator buzzes, distracting them. 'Holly,' she answers brusquely.

'Kelp,' comes Trouble's no-nonsense Commander's Voice. 'We're landing in five. They ready to go?'

'Affirmative, Commander,' Holly replies in her best G.I. Jane voice, lips twitching.

'Good.' The line goes dead.

Holly looks down at the communicator in her palm, shaking her head fondly. _Oh, Trouble. _'Your ride'll be here any minute,' she tells her prisoner. The sprite sighs.

* * *

'I can't believe you actually bought that monstrosity.'

'What are you talking about? It's beautiful.' Holly pulls her helmet off, patting her new motorbike fondly.

'It's a deathtrap.'

'Oh well then, no worse than hanging around with you,' Holly grins, punching him in the arm.

Artemis rubs his much-abused limb and sighs. 'You're not driving to Myles' recital on that, are you?'

'No, don't worry, I'm coming with you guys.'

'Holly!' Before Artemis has time to reply, Myles himself appears at the front door. 'You came!'

'Well, I said I'd come to one of these, didn't I?' Holly smiles down at the boy. 'Sorry it took me so long.'

'Not at all,' Myles beams.

Angeline and Beckett join them on the front steps. 'Holly, what a pleasant surprise. How have you been?'

'Great!' Holly enthuses. 'Work's been good – I just got back from Kathmandu a couple of days ago, actually. It was nice to be somewhere where I wasn't a head shorter than everyone over ten.'

Angeline laughs. 'You need to come by more often, we miss having someone lively around. Juliet's coming for tea tomorrow, why don't you join us?'

Holly grins, 'Thanks, Angeline. That would be lovely.'

The other woman smiles.

'Well, look who it is! Hello, stranger!' Artemis Senior, followed by Butler, comes down the steps. 'Will you be joining us tonight?'

Holly nods. 'Yes, I promised Myles I'd come to a recital, so here I am.'

'Capital, capital,' the man smiles as Other Butler brings the car round.

Butler is admiring the motorbike. 'This yours, Holly?'

'Yes!' Holly's face lights up. 'I bought it right before my Nepal trip.'

'Oh yes, how was that?'

'Piece of cake,' Holly waves a hand. 'More importantly, look at my beautiful solar battery pack. One hundred percent emission free!'

'Very nice,' Butler runs a hand along the gleaming red metal. 'And if I ever catch Artemis on this, I'll serve you up for dinner. Do you hear me, Holly Short?'

Artemis scoffs, 'As though I'd go anywhere near such a ridiculous contraption.'

'I have two words for you, Butler,' Holly puts her hands on her hips, 'and they are: flying mattress.'

Butler looks chagrined. 'Desperate times,' he says.

Holly grins at him, showing her incisors. 'Let's hope I'm never desperate, then, shall we?'

'Flying mattress?' asks Artemis Senior.

'It's a very long story, I'm afraid,' Artemis ushers Holly into the limo before she can add anything.

'They always are with you,' sighs his father.

* * *

The next day, Artemis is waiting for the Bentley outside of the Fitzgerald Building with ill concealed impatience. A stream of boys his age are passing by, heading for the rugby field, shouting and kicking footballs back and forth. Shirts hang out, trouser hems run frayed along the ground, and bulging sports bags swing back and forth from shoulders. Artemis dodges one particularly close call with a rugby ball and checks his watch.

The other boys have spotted something. They cluster on the pavement in excitement, pointing. Artemis rolls his eyes and fiddles with his mobile. Then, suddenly, he hears a familiar purring, growing louder and louder. His face freezes in an expression of disbelief, his reflection staring back at him from the screen of his phone. 'Oh no,' he whispers.

He looks up. A brilliantly red motorbike has pulled up in front of him. The rider slips to the ground and the boys watch ravenously. It doesn't even matter what the face under the helmet's visor looks like because the body below it is undeniably female and to use the most suitable adjective, _hot. _And, whoever she is, she rides a motorbike for crying out loud.

The mystery rider grabs something from the compartment under the back seat. Another helmet. The boys are beside themselves. She's come for someone.

'You wouldn't dare,' Artemis whispers to himself.

Holly takes off her own helmet and leaves it on the bike. Holding the other in her hand, she moves towards Artemis, followed by a good two dozen appalled stares. _The new physics lecturer? Are you kidding me? He's the definition of nerd._

He looks directly at her as she approaches; his face is cold, his mouth perfectly straight, his eyes unblinking. _Over my dead body,_ says his stare.

_That can be arranged,_ replies her smirk.

_No_. The only physical sign of his point-blank refusal is a faint tightening of his lips.

_Oh yes, my dear Master Fowl,_ she replies in kind.

She stops less than a foot away from him, holding the helmet between them.

_I will not,_ continues his silent refusal.

She grins. 'Aw, come on, Artemis,' she whispers aloud, 'not even to see the look on their faces?'

His stony expression wavers ever so slightly. This is the problem with having friends, he realises. They grow to understand you so well that they don't need to be genii to know exactly how to manipulate you into doing whatever it is they happen to want done.

'Checkmate,' he concedes, sketching a bow.

'You don't need to tell me, I already realise.'

'Butler will have your innards for dinner,' he warns her, taking the helmet. She just laughs.

Gingerly, but thankfully with a surprising lack of clumsiness, he clambers on behind her, sliding the helmet over his carefully groomed hair. The last he sees of his new students, before sliding the visor down, is their horrified expressions at his inexplicable good fortune. Revving the engine with unnecessary vigour, Holly cackles away in front of him as they make the loop back onto Pearse Street.

Artemis is grateful that the solar battery keeps the motor from being any louder than a throaty purr. It doesn't, however, affect the bike's capacity to reach alarming speeds. As soon as they pass through the city and turn onto the M1, Artemis unashamedly clings to Holly as they scream back towards the Manor.

* * *

That night, Holly takes her wings and launches herself off the roof of their building. Under a full moon, she flies out over the bay, until she is far enough away for the lights of Dublin to fade. Dipping low over the water she calls softly, wondering if the dolphins will still come to her.

They do. Dorsal fins breaking the water, their backs blotchy with sores, they swim beside her as she skims low enough to feel the spray. Above them, the dark forms of seagulls swoop across the moon, their shadows flickering over the skin of the dolphins.

Up close, the water is calm and dark - blue deepening to black - but every tiny wavelet reflects the light of the moon until the sea stretches before them, twinkling away into eternity.

Holly raises her eyes from the animals below her to look out towards the horizon. The moon lights up the night sky, making the clouds eerie and iridescent. The tang of salt pervades everything. Even the light seems to smell of salt.

Running her hand along the back of her nearest companion, she waves, turning onto her side and peeling away upwards into the sky. She follows the coast for a while, turning inland when she passes Bally Lighthouse. Over Dublin's fringes she flies, until the suburbs sink into pasture land and the pasture land rise into the grounds of Fowl Manor.

As she approaches the house she wonders if Butler's security system is picking her up. Probably, he uses fairy cameras after all.

There's only one light still on in the Manor. Landing silently on the balustrade of his balcony, Holly crouches there for a moment, watching him at his desk, scribbling away furiously. She smiles.

He looks up as she opens the French windows. 'Hello,' he says, seemingly unsurprised by a be-winged red-head stepping into his room at one a.m.

'Hello,' she replies, shedding her wings. 'I was out over the bay and thought I'd drop by.'

'That must have been rather cold,' he remarks, eyeing her cotton shirt.

Holly laughs, tugging her sleeves over her hands. 'A little. I sort of forgot about my jacket.'

'It's not summer anymore,' he admonishes. 'Would you like a sweater?'

'That'd be great. No, don't get up, I can get it.' Briefly, she lays a hand on his shoulder as she crosses to the walk-in closet. 'What are you working on?' she calls from inside.

'The results of your blood analysis,' Artemis replies, after a moment's pause.

She comes out of the closet, pulling a woollen sweater over her head. 'Why?' she asks, when her face reappears.

Artemis frowns. 'Well, with the general idea of finding you a cure.'

Holly chuckles. 'I see.'

She sits down cross-legged on his bed and begins toying with the embroidered bed spread. 'You know, Artemis, you don't need to lie to me. I know you don't want to find a cure.' She pauses, licking her lips. 'Actually, Artemis, you don't need to lie to me at all – about anything.' Eyes fixed on the threads below her. 'I can handle the truth.'

She looks up at him then. 'I've seen you do your worst, after all. Next time you're doing something less than moral, don't bother pretending. It's... it's not worth it. You are what you are. I can deal with that. And if I can't, well, that's my problem. Which isn't to say that you shouldn't, at least, try to be a little more decent; only that... I know there's a limit to how much a person can change.' She snorts softly. 'Or should I say: to how much they _want_ to change? Anyway, the point is: I can take the truth, whatever it is.'

Artemis blinks, digesting this. 'What if it's another situation like my mother's illness? What if I need you to do something I don't think you'll do?' he asks at last.

Holly laughs. 'You should have a little more faith in the people who love you, Artemis. When have I ever not done what you needed me to do? Even back when I didn't much care for you, I respected you enough to do what I was told.'

He swallows. 'This is very... good of you.' He frowns at the inadequacy of the word.

'Well, one of us has to be, or this'll never work.'

'There's always the option of it not working,' but his throat dries on the words.

Holly just looks at him. 'And this from the boy who was so desperate for me to stay only last spring. I told you that you would change your mind.'

'I haven't changed my mind. I'm giving you a choice.'

'How good of _you_,' comes the dry response.

'Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.'

Holly eyes him speculatively, leaning back to rest her weight on her arms. 'And if I decided that this wasn't going to work, if I told you I was leaving, now, before it's even really begun, would you let me?'

Artemis opens his mouth to lie, but pauses. 'No,' he says at last.

She smiles wryly. 'I didn't think so. But see? Honesty isn't so bad, is it?'

He shakes his head, rising to join her on the bed. Cross-legged, they sit side by side in silence for a moment.

'I guess,' Holly speaks first, 'that it's a good thing this is going to work out then, isn't it? Otherwise I shudder to think what you'd have come up with to make me stay.'

He chuckles. 'I doubt that it would have been very pleasant.'

Holly rocks her shoulder against his. 'You should come by for dinner on Friday. I want to make my world-famous spaghetti and tomato sauce but Juliet's going away with Arthur, so I'll have no one to show it off to.'

He gives a brief laugh. 'I'd like that.'

'Of course you would, I make excellent spaghetti, don't listen to Mulch.' She punches him gently and rises to go. 'But I should probably get back. It's late, even for us.'

Artemis looks at her without speaking.

Holly contemplates his silent face for a moment before resting a hand on each of his knees and kissing him. 'Good night, Artemis,' she smiles against his cheek.

He grabs her before she can move away. One hand curling around her neck, the other in her hair, he doesn't bother speaking. She gets the point anyway. She pulls herself back onto the bed, and they fall backwards, softly thumping into the duvet as they land. Holly's conscience makes a feeble effort to remind her that he's a criminal and barely more than a child but, for once, she doesn't pay it the slightest bit of attention. Her conscience doesn't really mind.

Revelling in their new-found freedom, Artemis' hands wander; hair, skin, jean, wool, cotton beneath the wool and skin below that. He fights to keep his fingers from shaking as they trace the lines of her ribs.

When they finally remember to breathe, Holly swallows, moving back until their noses touch. 'I should go home,' she whispers, her voice hoarse.

'That is patently the most terrible idea you have ever had - and I have seen you at your most stupid,' he tells her.

She snorts with laughter, letting her head fall beside his on the duvet. 'Ah, Artemis,' she chuckles into the feathers. Turning her head slightly to look at him, she smiles with the sudden knowledge that she will never have enough of this being beside her.

She runs a thumb under his blue eye, 'Come for dinner.'

He nods and his hands tighten on her skin as he feels her shift, rolling off him. Unfortunately, in the physical arena at least, Artemis hasn't got a hope in hell.

He sighs, the picture of dejection.

Holly's lips twitch as she sits up. 'I'm going home now. I'll see you on Friday.' Quickly, so as not to be caught, she swoops down, kisses him once more and slips off the bed.

Artemis huffs quietly and pushes himself back onto his feet. 'At least let me help you with the wings,' he says, crossing to where she stands by the French windows, strapping herself in.

And, as it always does, helping the one you love get out of the door means delaying them for at least another twenty minutes.


	15. Chapter 15

So, I've upped the rating, just in case. AND THIS CHAPTER IS WHY. It's rated M for a reason, folks! And no, it's not for excessive violence.

Also, sorry if they get a bit soppy in the middle there, and sorry for the ending, it's just... I've _always _wanted to do that.

And, of course, heaps of thanks to ilex-ferox. My go-to person for all bad biblical puns, among other things.

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: Breathing Underwater and Other Talents of the Human Body

'_I... have no idea what I'm doing,' he admits._

'_No, really? I hadn't realised,' she teases, looking up from his shirt buttons._

_He pulls away. 'There's no need to be insulting.'_

_She pulls him back to her. 'I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry.' _

'_I just.... I am good at nearly everything. Being incapable frustrates me,' his forehead creases and he purses his lips. 'I don't like not knowing.'_

_She brushes her fingers along his throat, thinking. Suddenly she smiles. Pushing him away, she stands up, unsteady on the mattress. She tugs her dress over her head and spreads her arms out. His eyes follow the movements of her hands, pupils dilating. _

'_Then know me,' she says._

* * *

'God, Holly, what's wrong with you?' Juliet puts a hand on Holly's jiggling knee. 'You've been twitching all day, what've I missed? Did someone try to run you over when you were out biking or something?'

'Yes. I mean - What? Oh. No. ' Holly's thoughts are clearly elsewhere.

Juliet sighs. 'Then what's the matter?' She speaks slowly, as though to a very small, and very dim, child.

'Nothing. Nothing's the matter with me, I'm fine.' At odds with her words, Holly stands and begins pacing the room.

'Right.' Rolling her eyes, the blonde picks up her paper again. 'Well, when you feel like sharing, let me know.'

Holly, however, doesn't feel like sharing. She has butterflies like she hasn't had since the last time she was turned back into a teenager.

_Frond Frond Frond Frond Frond_.

Her delicate fingers drag at the skin of her cheeks, _I'm not ready, I'm not - oh Frond, I must have been crazy. He's twenty. Seventeen. _

_Oh Frond Oh Frond Oh Frond._

She pauses for a moment, staring absently through the sliding doors.

_I wish I had stayed. For d'Arvit's sake, why isn't it tomorrow yet? No, wait, I mean - oh _Frond.

Needless to say, Thursday passes very slowly for Holly.

* * *

'Okay, now, make sure you don't leave any candles burning or taps running when you leave the house. And – Oh God, I can't leave you like this; you'll burn the flat down.' Juliet shakes her head at the still jittery Holly.

The woman in question takes a deep breath. 'Don't worry about me. A few more hours and I'll be fine. You go enjoy yourself. I'm _fine._'

'I feel like you're one of those people who insist things are fine when, in reality, the sky's about to fall.'

'The sky isn't falling. And I won't burn the flat down. Now _go, _before I kick you out. Arthur's waiting!' Holly shoves the other girl towards the door.

'Okay, alright, going! But tell Artemis, when he comes by, that there's something for him in the cabinet above the bathroom sink.'

Before Holly can protest that he isn't expected when he obviously is, Juliet disappears through the door.

Curious, she goes into the bathroom and pulls back the mirror to peer into the cabinet behind. Sitting on the vacant top shelf (she has to stand on tip toes to see them) is a stack of square, coloured plastic packets.

'Hilarious, Juliet,' Holly mutters, rolling her eyes, but leaves the condoms where they are.

Returning to the living room, she stands with her hands on her hips and tries to think about something other than Artemis, dinner, or square, coloured plastic packets . She decides cleaning is a good place to start. Rolling up her sleeves, she gets to work.

The table is wiped down, the couch is brushed off and its cushions plumped. The floors are swept. Dishes are washed, the stove is scrubbed. Her laundry is jammed into its basket and hidden in the closet. Books are straightened, dead flowers put in the compost bin and their wine bottle vase in the recycling. Plants are watered and apologized to for having been left so long unattended. Last, but certainly not least, the garbage and recycling is bagged up.

Grumbling to herself, Holly hauls the garbage down to the underground parking. Of course they bought a flat on the top floor. Of course the wheelie-bins are underground. Of course she is too stubborn to take the lift.

Having successfully thrown her garbage into the _black_ wheelie-bin and her dry recycling into the _green _one (humans make garbage sorting way more complicated than it needs to be), which is always a tricky manoeuvre involving exactly the right angle of release and precisely enough leverage (too much sends it behind the wheelie-bin; nightmare!), Holly wipes her hands on her jeans, feeling very self-satisfied. She checks her watch. Five o'clock. Perfect. Start dinner. Shower. Change. She can do this. Everything is under control.

_Oh Frond._

* * *

Artemis watches Holly wash their bowls, holding his tea towel at the ready. She has long since given up trying to get him to wash anything; she swears he manages to make the dishes even dirtier. She almost suspects him of doing it on purpose. But damned if she is going to let him get out of doing any work at all, so drying it is. He can't make things wetter, after all.

Artemis, meanwhile, shakes his head at her - in his eyes - perverse perseverance with poverty.

'I'm going to Vancouver for a conference on nuclear physics in the first week of November,' he remarks suddenly. 'Can you come?'

'If someone was going to kill you at a nuclear physics conference, what would they do?' Holly muses, mostly to herself. 'Tie you to a chair and spout equations at you 'til you died of boredom?'

'My sides split at your incredible wit.'

'Not surprising - breathing is about the only exercise they get. Laughing must really do them in.'

He looks up at the ceiling as if asking for patience. 'Will you come, Holly?'

'Artemis, seriously now, do you really think there's any danger?'

'You know perfectly well that's not why I'm asking you to come.'

Holly purses her lips.

'Just out of curiosity, Holly, how long are we going to play this game? I would have thought we were done with it now, after... well, you seemed relatively decided. And yet today we're back where we started.'

She looks down at her hands in the soapy water. The autumn sun is setting and the flat grows dark as neither of them has bothered to turn on the lights. Slowly, she takes her hands out of the water and dries them on the tea towel he's holding.

A sudden thought strikes Artemis and he asks, 'Are you worried about the consequences should we find a cure?'

She laughs a little sadly. But, underneath, her expression is clear and calm. 'Artemis, there is no cure for me. And you know what? I don't really mind.'

This is not the answer he had been expecting.

'It took me a long time to realise but even early on, like with Spiro, when I was with you I didn't miss being anywhere else. I... I didn't think about anything except what we were doing. I mean, admittedly that's because usually we were a hair's breath away from getting killed, but hey. Even now though, just doing little, everyday things... they don't seem quite so every day. It turns out I was right, back in that gorilla's cage; I can do without a lot of things, Artemis Fowl, but not you. No matter what you are, or what you do. Talk about irony.'

In the deepening night she can see his eyes, their eyes, widen.

'Thanks for waiting,' she continues, 'until I realised that.'

'You didn't really give me a choice,' he points out.

'You could have found a way, I'm sure.'

He chuckles. 'I did - it was waiting. And being very, very good. Well, usually,' he concedes.

She blinks at him. 'Is _that_ what you were up to? All those months? Amsterdam? That time you were so cut up - when you first kissed me? "Oh, Holly, I'm so sorry"?' she misquotes. 'I _thought_ that was fishy.'

He shrugs, fighting down his smirk. 'Sorry.'

She takes his head in her hands and lowers his mouth to hers. 'No, you're not,' she says, kissing him.

Leaning his forehead on hers, he smiles at her through the gloom. He has loved her for so long that sometimes he forgets that he does; like breathing, it has become a reflex, something necessary for survival. And then, at other times, he remembers with piercing clarity.

'Though, I _still_ wish you would and come live at the Manor,' he says.

'And I am still going to refuse.'

'Holly-'

'No, Artemis.'

'Never?'

'One day. Maybe.'

'Why?'

Holly opens her mouth to explain, yet again, but finds all of her perfectly logical reasons have suddenly escaped her. 'I... can't quite remember,' she admits.

'Oh yes?' he asks, smug.

'Why did you have bring that up _now_, of all times, Artemis?' she huffs.

'Because I have just remembered, yet again, how much I dislike you living so far away.'

She laughs, kissing him again: his mouth, his eyes, his forehead.

'But who will keep Juliet company if I leave?' she asks, winding her arms around him.

'I'm finding that I really could not care less,' he says, already half-drunk from how close she is.

She laughs, 'Such a selfish child.'

'Old habits die hard.'

_Very true_, she reflects. _Even now we can't stop goading each other._

But, bickering or not, eventually they make their way to her bed. And, as long as they get there in the end, who's to complain about methodology?

* * *

Holly leans on the balcony railing, watching the sun rise over the distant bay. She bends down, resting her chin on her crossed arms.

There are clouds hanging low in the sky, moving ever closer through the cold air. She hopes the storm holds off until the sunrise is finished.

But the rain is impatient. Wind scuttles across the bare skin of her arms, pushing through her hair. She shivers as the first raindrops splatter along her back. The sunlight is swallowed by the clotted, dark clouds. Holly shakes water out of her hair and goes back inside.

The sliding doors snick shut just as the rain begins in earnest. Grey light fills the darkened living room as water hammers down on the glass of the doors and windows. The shadow of raindrops on glass patterns the opposite wall with strands of seaweed.

Through this aquatic world, Holly crosses slowly back to her bedroom, her bare feet leaving damp footprints on the wooden floor. Having only one window, her bedroom is even darker than the living room and she moves through it cautiously. Reaching the bed, she crawls carefully over the lumpy duvet and sinks back into the warmth.

'Get your feet away from me, they're _freezing_. And your shirt is damp,' comes a voice from under the bedding.

Laughing, she pulls her shirt off, winding herself into his thin limbs which, unlike his mind, are ill-made for trapping and holding.

'What possessed you to go out at such an hour - and in the rain of all things?'

'It wasn't raining when I went out. Besides, the sunrise is so pretty from the balcony,' she yawns into his collar bone.

Artemis rolls his eyes but doesn't argue.

The downpour continues all weekend. The walls drip perpetually with the shadow of falling rain and the dim light takes on a watery quality, as though it is a tangible thing to be waded through. So high above the sodden city, they feel utterly separate from the outside; they are like a world inside an old diving bell, looking down into the ocean flowing below them from their bobbing glass ball.

Their movements become languid and uncharacteristically graceful; they pass through the darkened rooms with ease, though the lights are never once turned on. Conversations are murmured and slow and, for the first time in their lives, never dissolve into fire and spite. They eat fruit and tinned rice pudding because that's all they have. Artemis doesn't complain; he barely notices what he puts in his mouth.

Juliet's Calla lilies bloom out of season and the only music they play is Debussy and O'Halloran. The enormous couch will forever have a dip in its middle after this weekend. Clothes, if attempted, are taken off again before they're even fully put on. He tries to make her enjoy Keats and she tries to make him enjoy gnome wrestling and, sooner rather than later, they give up on both of these and enjoy each other instead.

In the grey half-light, Artemis quickly becomes as well-versed in Holly's body as he is in most other, less concrete, subjects. He has an excellent teacher, after all. And, for perhaps the first time in his life, he is eager to please without any hidden agenda or self-serving ambition. Holly enjoys the uniqueness of that perhaps more than anything else. Perhaps.

Two days seem to stretch into eternity. Holly and Artemis become almost aquatic themselves. Stretching their capacity to go without oxygen, they rock in the pull of an invisible current, slipping in and out of the rain's shadows like fish flickering in and out of the waves.

Lying in bed, Holly combs her fingers through his black hair – it's grown tangled in the past few days. Soft and thick, she can bury her hands in it, though it's not much longer than her own. She chuckles. He looks up at her, feeling her laughter, resting his chin below her collarbone.

'Yes?' he asks, eyebrows raised.

She smiles. 'I was thinking about your long hair, when we went back to rescue Jayjay, and how silly you looked. And about that awful hair gel that you wore when we first met, and how silly you looked.'

'I had no idea my hair was such a continuing source of hilarity.'

'If you wear it slicked back with half a jar of pomade you must realise you're going to be ridiculed.' Her hands slide from his hair to his back and then up again, travelling along his spine.

'I was young,' he sighs, 'and naive. I didn't know any better.'

'Oh yes,' she tugs his face towards hers, 'you were _terribly_ naive.'

His lips twitch as he kisses her. 'Everyone is badly dressed in their youth, even genii. We simply do it with more panache. And my hair during the Jayjay escapade was hardly my own fault. As I recall, your own at the time left something to be desired.'

Holly remembers her silver wig and laughs. 'And I always thought I looked so good in silver,' she sighs in mock-dismay.

'Oh, to be sure,' his mouth lingers on her neck before slipping back down along her collar bone, 'but you look better out of it.'

She chuckles deep in her stomach, stretching her arms above her head. 'What a charmer you are today, Artemis.' Then she snorts. 'I look terrible in silver. Much be-' she shivers, breathing in sharply through her mouth, '-tter in gold,' she finishes a moment later on her exhale.

'Mm,' he replies from somewhere near her left hipbone. 'How fortunate that I have so much of it.'

She can feel his smirk against her skin and smacks him lightly, but not hard enough to dislodge him.

* * *

Minerva visits Butler.

'Come to clobber a feeble old man again, have you?' he asks her as he pours them tea.

She laughs; a bright, pretty bell-chime. 'No, I'm not totally heartless. I wanted to hear a story.'

'A story?' Butler raises an eyebrow. 'I can fetch the twins' nanny if you want - I'm not much of a storyteller.'

'No, I want a particular story,' Minerva shakes her head. Her blond curls glint, tumbling around a perfect heart of a face. She is stunning in the warm lamp-light of the study. 'I want to know how Holly and Artemis met.'

Butler looks sceptical. 'How they met? I told you that long ago - he kidnapped her.'

'I know,' she dimples at him over her tea cup and he remembers her doing so in all the days that she had kept him company in the firelight of that tiny, sea-salty cottage. All those years she'd been bright and hopeful and kept him from crumbling to pieces. Wittingly or unwittingly, there is very little he will not share with Minerva. 'But I want to hear the whole story.' She shrugs. 'I'm curious how Artemis' mind works, I suppose. Besides, from the little you told me, it sounded as though it would make a wonderful novel. And you know how much I love fiction.'

Butler smiles. Such a beautiful girl, so brilliant and young, but who would nevertheless come all the way to Ireland simply to console and converse with a lonely old man. Day after day, month after month, year after year. He was grateful to her, at first. As time went by he grew to care for her, to respect her. In some strange way, he had felt that she linked him to Artemis, wherever the boy was.

Lonely, stripped of his purpose, she had been his sole comfort. She had taken care of him when, for the first time in his life, he had needed care. He owes her more than he can repay from those three years, from his life's only moment of weakness. In the end, without any conscious acknowledgement of it, he grew to love with her, so beautiful, brilliant and young. His other child, his only daughter. 'Yes, I know how much you love fiction,' he says. 'But this isn't fiction, this is real.'

Minerva shrugs. 'It may as well be fiction though, really. It will only ever happen once, after all. Besides: action, adventure, revenge, desire, redemption, romance. It has all the makings of an excellent story.'

He laughs. 'Alright, alright, I'll tell you. But I won't do it justice. You'll have to ask Artemis to really get all the details.'

'But I don't want Artemis,' Minerva lies, the lamplight warming her pale skin, 'I'm asking you.'

What man could refuse?

* * *

The first thing Juliet does when she gets back is turn all the lights on. 'Hello? Anyone home? Holly, you there? God, is it dark in here or what? Holly? Ho- Artemis!' Juliet stares across the living room at the boy in Holly's bedroom doorway. He is standing just out of reach of the glaring electric light. Looking at him - eerily pale in the silty shadows of Holly's room, his clothes wrinkled, his hair disappearing into the dark behind him, those unnatural eyes boring into hers -Juliet shivers suddenly.

'Holly's asleep,' he says, his words low and even.

'Oh,' Juliet's voice is small. 'Sorry, I didn't know.' She looks out of the windows at the rainy sky, unaccountably ill at ease. 'Some weather we're having, huh, Arty?'

Reluctantly, he surfaces, moving into the light. 'Yes, it appears summer is well and truly over.'

Juliet smiles, beginning to relax as the electric light bulbs strip him of his otherworldly appearance. 'Have a good weekend?' she waggles her eyebrows, her natural good humour quick to return.

Artemis blushes, his dreamy calm quickly washing away under the harsh glare of the real world. 'Yes,' he replies shortly. 'Yourself?''

'Fabulous,' Juliet grins wolfishly.

'Good to hear.' Artemis wishes she would go away and let them be.

Woken by the sound of voices, Holly opens her eyes to see light flooding into her room through the open door, washing away the darkness. Juliet's voice cuts across the silence like an alarm clock, shattering their fragile quiet beyond hope of repair. Holly rolls onto her back, turning her head to watch the rain stream down her window, trying to hold onto the memory of their underwater world. She hears Artemis' terse replies, and sighs. Pushing aside the blankets, she goes in search of clothes.

* * *

Juliet is making dinner, humming along to A Hard Day's Night playing at maximum volume. 'Sooo, tell me about your weekend,' she glances at Holly over one shoulder.

'It was rainy,' Holly replies, peeling potatoes.

Juliet rolls her eyes. 'I mean –'

'Juliet, I know what you mean.'

'Not in a sharing mood?'

'Nope. How do you want these sliced?'

The blonde sighs. 'Julienned,' she replies, rolling her eyes.

The intercom buzzes. 'Artemis, would you get that?' Juliet shouts over the music.

Putting down _95 poems_, Artemis goes to the phone. 'Hello?'

'It's me,' comes Butler's voice, crackling over the bad line.

Artemis buzzes him up.

Butler enters the flat carrying a long, black umbrella under one arm and a heavy, dark coat over the other. He gives Artemis a once over as he hangs up the coat. 'Been a while, Artemis. I thought maybe you'd drowned in all the rain we've been having.' He speaks softly, so that only the boy can hear.

'You could have called, if you were worried,' Artemis shrugs. 'Or come over.'

Butler smiles. 'I figured you were in good hands.'

'Mmm,' Artemis responds non-committally.

'Well? Did you have a good weekend?' the big man eyes his charge's wrinkled clothing.

'Yes.'

'Better than Amsterdam?'

'Much.'

Butler smiles. 'Good. I just hope that this makes you two get along better instead of worse.'

Artemis shrugs with one shoulder, feeling the blood rise in his cheeks.

'Dom? Is that you?' Juliet's voice comes from the kitchen, shouting over the music. 'Are you coming in or what? Dinner's almost ready!'

Butler catches the tail end of Artemis' brief look of irritation and chuckles. 'Come at a bad time, did she, Juliet?'

Artemis has the good grace to recognise the jab. 'Any time would have been a bad time,' he admits.

Butler laughs, moving towards the kitchen. 'It smells delicious, Juliet.'

'Of course it does - I made it!'

* * *

Butler and Artemis return to the Manor after dinner, one satisfied, the other still starving. Artemis' father is waiting for them in the entrance hall.

'Artemis! Oh, thank goodness. We've been worried about you - not one word since Friday! Where on earth did you get to?'

Artemis keeps his jacket on, hiding the state of his shirt. 'I told you when I left - I went to dinner at Holly's. Butler drove me there, after all.'

'Dinners don't usually last three days,' his father points out.

Artemis shrugs and lies. 'We hadn't seen each other in some time. We had catching up to do.'

'She drives you to and from Trinity, doesn't she?'

'There's not much conversation that can be had whilst riding a motorbike,' Artemis notes. Butler makes an indistinct noise of displeasure behind him. He had been less than thrilled when Holly had first come roaring up the Manor drive, one terrified junior lecturer clinging to her waist.

Artemis Senior contemplates his son for a moment before taking the teen by the elbow. 'Artemis, could we talk for a moment? Let's sit down somewhere. Butler, would you fetch us some coffee?'

'Of course, sir.' Discreetly, Butler leaves Artemis to what could be his first ever parental reprimand.

Comfortably installed in a drawing room, father and son face off across an ornate coffee table.

'Artemis,' the older man begins, a little hesitantly, 'I realise that I haven't been the most conscientious of parents but I think the time has come for me to address certain, ah, issues. Now, I'm fully aware that Butler has taken excellent care of you over the years, and that you are a more than competent individual, but I still believe there are certain things which a father should discuss with his son...' he lets the sentence hang, pursing his lips, trying to find a way to broach his subject as casually as possible.

Artemis, on the other hand, is for once utterly perplexed. He tilts his head to the side, eyeing his father quizzically. 'Such as...?' he prompts.

'Well,' Artemis Senior clasps his hands on his knees, 'for example, is there anything you'd like to ask me? About anything - anything at all.'

Artemis thinks for a moment, 'No, nothing is coming to mind, Father.'

'Nothing about, say, Holly?'

'Holly?'

'She's a very pretty girl, isn't she?'

Artemis' lips twitch at "girl", but he answers straight faced. 'Yes, I suppose so, Father.'

'Well, as I'm sure you know, Artemis, when... when boys – men – reach a certain age –'

Artemis - never having had friends with whom to share, either cringingly or mockingly, their parents attempts to explain the birds and the bees - is still totally in the dark. Butler, however, who has chosen this moment to bring the coffee, fights to keep his face neutral.

'- there are certain, er, -' Artemis Senior continues doggedly, '– urges, I suppose you could say, and, well...'

'Sir, ah, may I?' Butler interrupts politely.

'Please,' Artemis Senior tries not to look too relieved.

'What your father is trying to say, Artemis, is wear a condom.' Butler paraphrases the other's stuttering as he pours the cream.

'Oh.' Artemis swallows, too busy being indignant at the inferred slur on his intelligence to be embarrassed. 'Father, really. I am perfectly aware of the consequences of unprotected sexual intercourse.'

Butler rolls his eyes. Trust Artemis to make a father to son chat sound like a biology lesson.

'Well, no, I realise that, I just wanted to be sure... I'm supposed to tell you these things, after all.' Artemis Senior hurries to assure his son. 'Wait,' he pauses suddenly, 'then you are – ah – sleeping with Holly?'

Artemis opens his mouth without having decided on what, exactly, he wants to say. All of this seems worlds away from the past three days, bodies slipping together and apart, deep in the sea. 'Yes,' he responds at last, faintly puzzled by his own answer, and leaves the room.

_What an inappropriate euphemism_, he thinks as he climbs the stairs, _"sleeping" with._


	16. Chapter 16

So, after a lot of "well that was silly of you"s I decided to go back to T. Having finally visited the M section, I feel this was an okay decision:P On to part II. Chapter title stolen from Monty Python but things are pretty temperate right now, so hey! Also, I have been told that Canadians do a lot of air-quotes with their fingers. And I mean, yeah, we do, but doesn't everybody? So my question is: do you (other than other Canadians reading this) use air quotes? And oooo hometown cameo. Couldn't resist...

Also! Side note: sorry, yes, I did skip over Artemis' birthday because I really didn't have anything to say about it. So yes, it did just kind of vanish. To tell the truth, I'd completely forgotten about it until ilex-ferox went: Sooo, what happened to his birthday? So, thank you ilex-ferox, for that, and for pointing out that my next few chapters really sucked (and then helping them get better).

Also, RIOT 2010. Enjoy.

* * *

Part II

Chapter Sixteen: A Temperate Zone

_The red motorbike is waiting for him as he steps onto the pavement, briefcase in hand. Its rider lounges on a nearby bench, her helmet in her lap, as she enjoys a brief moment under the frigid winter sun. _

'_Hello,' he says, sitting down beside her._

_She cracks one eye open, tilting her head to the side to get a better look at him. 'Hello,' she returns._

_It's been four days since their rainy weekend. Between preparing lectures and grocery shopping and a sudden, overpowering shyness, they haven't spoken since._

'_It's been a while,' he comments, trying to maintain his sangfroid._

'_Yes,' she agrees. _

_Minutes pass._

_She sits forward suddenly, resting her elbows on her knees._

This is it, _he thinks, _this is where she says 'Actually, this has all been a big mistake. This whole thing. I thought I cared but really I don't, and you're a terrible lover and your –'

'_Why didn't you call?' she asks._

_He blinks. 'Oh.' And suddenly he realises he's been an idiot and that there's no reason to be shy or wonder or..._

'"_Oh?"' She repeats._

'_Why didn't _you_ call?' he counters._

_They look each other in the eye for a moment, and both see the exact same thing._

_She snorts. He gives a tentative smile. She wraps her arms around his neck and laughs. Still a little awkward, he puts a hand to her hair._

_Leaning back from him at last, she wipes away tears. 'What total idiots,' she says, kissing his forehead. 'Come on, let's get you home.'_

_As they tear through town, he holds her more tightly than he needs to. _

_Despite all his complaining, he finds that a motorbike isn't such a bad way to travel after all. _

* * *

Holly races through the woods, jumping roots and dodging branches. Every breath burns its way along her throat as sweat runs down her face, beading on her eyelashes.

A sudden movement flickers on her left and she grabs a branch above her, swinging herself into the tree without hesitation, as two hypodermic darts tear through the air just below her. Swearing viciously under her breath, she disappears up into the tree, wriggling through its branches and jumping into those of the next one along. Scanning the ground she see nothing and drops back down, hitting the ground running, keeping herself low.

Artemis sits with Butler, reclining on an out-of-place deck chair and drinking a decaf cappuccino. He reads e.e. cummings; Butler, _Guns & Ammo_.

As she nears the stream a noise comes from her right. This time she doesn't turn, simply shoots a couple of darts from her modified Neutrino as she vaults the stream. Safely on the other bank, she continues to run.

Butler glances at his watch before lifting a plate of delectable looking snacks. 'Biscuit, Artemis?' he inquires.

She's only a metre into the undergrowth when a hail of bullets comes ripping through the foliage. Falling to the ground, Holly wriggles behind a tree then returns to her feet, running once more. The sounds of her attacker fade and she puts on an extra burst of speed, seeing the trees thin ahead of her.

'Please,' Artemis replies, reaching across. Just as his fingers close on a shortbread, Holly comes careening out of the woods, arms outspread as she leaps a particularly thick fallen birch. She lands without breaking stride. Behind her feet the grass is pockmarked with holes as bullets spew out of the trees, falling just short of her.

Butler, who has heard her coming for several minutes now, is unfazed, but Artemis jumps, his coffee sloshing over the rim of the cup and onto his trousers. Making a face, he stands, brushing at the liquid.

Holly slows infinitesimally before pitching forward into Artemis. 'Ung,' she says by way of hello.

Butler clicks a stopwatch he has drawn out of a pocket.

Sighing loudly through his nose, Artemis puts his coffee cup back on the table. 'You're covered in sweat,' he tells her, wrinkling his nose.

'Next time I'm letting them kill you,' she mumbles into his shirt.

Butler chuckles as his third cousin comes out of the woods, a rifle over one shoulder, two hand guns in holsters. 'How was she?' Butler asks.

'Fast,' comes the reply. 'She's so tiny and dark; in the dim light it's hard to spot her. Climbs like a monkey too. She'll be handy if you get lost in the wilds out there in the Rockies.' This is more than Holly usually hears from Other Butler in weeks. 'However, whatever it is she's shooting has got terrible range.'

Butler nods, looking at the watch in his hands. 'Yes, she certainly was fast. Let's get back to the house and find you a better gun, Holly. Those Neutrinos aren't much use modified for darts. And we're going to the coast, not the Rocky Mountains.'

Other Butler shrugs unconcernedly.

'We could go back to lasers.' Holly looks up at him, through the hair plastered to her forehead, moving away from Artemis to stand on her own. 'No bullets.'

'No bullets,' Butler agrees. Other Butler snorts derisively.

Holly ignores him. 'You coming, Artemis?'

'Mm? Yes, of course.' Artemis raises his eyes back to her face. She laughs at his distraction.

* * *

Holly has to admit that showering in Fowl Manor is a lot more fun than showering at home. From the wide choice of soaps to the gleaming porcelain, the experience is nearly, well, magical. Rain started as they returned to the Manor and now it ricochets off the tall windows that partially ring the bathtub. The view from under the shower is better than that from most five star hotels. Holly tilts her head back and lets the water beat down on her chest and belly as she watches the wind whip the rain nearly horizontal.

Stepping out of the tub, she stands on the bath mat and shuffles it along the tiles, trying not to get water everywhere. Successfully reaching the towels, she dries herself off, humming with pleasure; she's known rabbits less fluffy than these towels. Nearly dry, she wraps the towel securely around her body and returns the bath mat to its original location. Gathering up her sweaty clothes, she heads for the door.

Hand on the doorknob, she pauses. On the other side of the door are Artemis' room and the clean clothes she'd brought along to change into. She hadn't thought of it at the time, just dumped her bag on the floor and gone. She looks down at herself. Goodness knows Artemis has seen her in less than this before, and she thought they'd gotten over their momentary shyness. Apparently not entirely. Holly shakes her head at her own idiocy and, resolute, opens the door.

Artemis looks up from his book. Holly's arms tighten around the bundle of clothes she carries. They eye each other across the room.

'If you want, you can just leave those here, they'll be washed,' he offers, sticking to banalities.

'That'd be great,' she says, staying where she is.

'The laundry basket is in the closet,' he nods to the door on her left.

'Right,' she says, staying where she is.

They eye each other across the room.

'This is ridiculous,' Artemis speaks first, again.

'Yes,' Holly gives a sheepish half smile. 'It's just... different. Being in this house, I mean. There're a lot more memories here.' She chuckles suddenly. 'Too bad N°1 doesn't need to send us back in time now, eh?'

He smiles. 'Put your clothes in the basket,' he tells her. She does.

Emerging from the depths of Artemis' closet, Holly crosses the room to where he's lounging on the couch. She sits down beside him, elbows on her knees, chin in her hands. He watches her spine curve, rising from the towel. Hesitantly, he runs his fingers down her back, following that curve. She lets one arm slip from under her chin and leans sideways, her eyes half-closed.

'I guess it's not so different here, after all,' she murmurs.

'No,' he replies.

Leaning back, she wriggles under his arm, fitting herself in beside him. 'You never told me - whatever happened when you got back? From that weekend, I mean.'

'My father attempted to lecture me on safe sex. As though I were a complete idiot.'

Holly blinks, trying to picture the scene. Abruptly, she explodes with laughter, chortling into his ribcage.

'It isn't funny,' Artemis' voice is indignant. 'He kept sidestepping the point and asking me if there was anything _I_ wanted to ask _him_; I, of course, had absolutely no idea what he was going on about. Butler had to step in, in the end, to keep the conversation from lasting interminably. My father could not have come to the point if ordered to do so on pain of death. And all of it for nothing because, obviously, I am not an imbecile, nor a pubescent teenager. Honestly, sometimes my father gets the most ridiculous notions into his head.' Artemis _tch_es.

Holly wipes away tears. 'He was just trying to do his job. Parents are supposed to explain that stuff to their kids.'

'So he kept saying.' Artemis rolls his eyes, 'A bit late however, isn't he?'

'Well, to be fair, you were gone at what would have been the optimal age.'

Artemis nods slowly. 'I have to say, of all the things I regret missing, that is not one of them. I had no idea parents felt the need to explain such things. How can it possibly lead to anything but acute embarrassment for everyone involved?'

'Well, kids've got to learn it somewhere, right?'

'Don't they give classes on it, or something? I'm sure St. Bartleby's had some...' he thinks back, uncertain but not really caring.

'Oh probably, but it makes parents feel more secure to know they've said it themselves. As though that changes anything.'

Idly, Artemis runs his fingers through her wet hair. 'I hope I never feel it necessary to subject my child to something similar.'

Holly swallows, thinking about that hypothetical child.

'Mind you, I suppose I could always let you do it,' he muses, mostly to himself.

'And what if I don't want children?' Holly speaks, abruptly sitting up, away from him.

Artemis blinks, taken aback. He hasn't really been thinking about what he's been saying, or that she would take him so literally. 'All the better - that would bypass the entire thing completely,' he speaks flippantly, trying to lighten the mood, and draws her back toward him.

She doesn't resist. 'That's years off,' she says, slinging a leg over both of his and shifting to sit on his thighs. 'Who knows if we'll even still be...' she pauses. Who is she trying to kid? 'Well, at any rate, that's years off,' she reiterates.

He laughs at her unfinished sentence, cradling her face in his hands as she leans forward to kiss him, her elbows resting on his shoulders.

Then there comes a knock at the door. Holly is off his lap and carrying her bag of clean clothes into the bathroom before he has a chance to blink. Making a discontented noise in his throat, Artemis answers the door.

'Myles.' Artemis stares down at his younger sibling with unconcealed frustration. 'What can I do for you?'

'Is Holly here? Mother said she was here.'

'Yes, she's here, but she's showering at the moment.' Struck by a sudden thought, Artemis steps out into the hallway, closing the door so that Holly won't be able to hear. 'Actually, Myles, I have a question for you. Do you remember that time you came into my room and I was toying with a vial of red liquid, like rancid tomato juice? I don't suppose you've seen that vial around the house somewhere, have you?'

Myles swallows. 'Uh, n-no, I don't think so...'

'Are you sure?'

At the boy's vigorous nodding, Artemis sighs in dismay. 'Ah well, it was worth a try. If you do see the vial, however, you will tell me, won't you, Myles?'

More nodding.

Artemis smiles, showing his incisors. 'Thank you, Myles, that's very good of you. If you would like, I'm sure Holly won't be too long in the shower. You could wait here if you like.'

'Oh, no thank you, I'm alright.' The boy's eyes widen at the thought of waiting with Artemis. 'I'd better go before Nanny worries.'

'Yes, I suppose you'd better. See you at dinner then.' Another vampiric smile.

Watching Myles positively flee down the corridor, Artemis frowns. Surely his own brother wouldn't have stolen Opal's potion? Then again, why else would the boy be lying? Artemis wonders who else in his family Minerva has bewitched.

Returning to his room, Artemis finds Holly dry and dressed, slouching in his office chair.

'Who was it?' she asks.

'Myles,' he shrugs, voice even.

Holly sighs. 'He's a good kid,' she says, shaking her head.

'Mm,' Artemis replies.

She stands, laughing at his scepticism. 'Reminds me of you when you were young and innocent. Oh wait,' she teases, winding her arms around him, 'except that you never were. You were probably conning your nurses before even leaving the maternity ward.'

'One does one's best.'

'Always doing the family proud,' she chuckles, and kisses him.

* * *

The first week of November arrives, grey and blustery, to find Holly sitting at the marble-topped island in the Fowl's kitchen, sipping freshly-made carrot juice out of an enormous glass and trying to ignore her host. Artemis Senior stands across from her, leaning his elbows on the countertop, hands clasped before him.

'So. Holly. How are you these days?'

'Er, fine, Mr. Fowl. And yourself?' Holly glances not-too-subtly at her watch.

'Oh, I'm good, I'm good.' The man inspects his pristine nails. 'I hear that you are, ah, going to Vancouver with Artemis.'

'Yes, I am. Butler's coming too, apparently; wants to drop in on Mme. Ko, he said. Her training camp is in the Queen Charlotte Islands this year.'

'Ah, yes, yes, Butler. Mme. Ko. Yes.'

Holly frowns at his distractedness. 'Is everything alright, Mr. Fowl?'

'Well, actually, Holly, I was wondering if I might ask you –'

'Holly, you're here already. Excellent. Butler will just be a few more minutes – something about grenades, I believe.'

Three blue eyes and one hazel fix immediately on Artemis Junior. He raises a careless eyebrow in response. Nothing in his serene expression hints at the gymnastics his stomach has taken up. Please don't let his father have said anything embarrassing.

'Fantastic.' Holly hops down to the floor. 'See you later, Mr. Fowl.'

Mr. Fowl looks about to say something but Artemis ushers Holly out of the room as quickly as he can, throwing a 'See you in a few days,' over his shoulder.

As they enter the entrance hall, Artemis looks down at her front. 'Another gift from Juliet, I presume?'

Holly fingers the sea-green silk tie, decorated with large gold and white koi, and smiles. 'You're lucky it's just the tie. She was talking about getting me a sword. Apparently it would give me "street cred" and "sweet style". I told her the airport security might not care about my cred or my style.' She makes the quotation marks with her fingers.

'Ah, the things one has to miss out on when taking public flights.'

'I think I'll survive,' Holly chuckles.

Artemis shrugs. 'It was worth a try,' he smiles.

She beams up at him, rising onto her tiptoes.

Butler, coming round the bend in the staircase as he heads down to the entrance hall, pauses. After a moment, he continues, making sure to make unnecessary amounts of noise as he turns the corner.

* * *

As they settle back into their plush, first class seats, Holly pulls out the trip's security folder and waves it under Butler's nose. 'Talk to me, Butler, why exactly must I memorise the timetables of the Sky Train?'

Artemis tunes them out, picking up the conference's introductory packet. Flipping through the pages, he runs one slim finger down the list of attendees. He stops halfway down the line and taps the paper thoughtfully.

_Paradizo, Minerva._

Well, well, well. Out for more blood, is she?

He looks up, over the page, towards Holly, who is gesturing expressively with her hands. Closing his booklet, he decides not to mention it. In this case, ignorance really is bliss.

* * *

They are greeted by one of Vancouver's most prominent features: rain. As Butler drives them down the highway from the airport into town, Holly peers through the grey drizzle at the lush, roadside shrubs and grasses.

'It's November, but look how green everything is! It's incredible.'

'That's because this area is actually a temperate rainforest,' Artemis speaks from the back seat. 'Arguably greener than Ireland.'

'Impressive,' Holly acknowledges. 'Actually, I've been doing some reading, apparently there's some great hiking around here.'

'How fascinating.' Artemis has never sounded less fascinated.

Holly rolls her eyes. 'Well, _I _think a bit of hiking would be nice. Not to mention that it would do you good. Might even come in handy next time we're running for our lives.'

'Actually, I was thinking,' Butler puts his two cents in, 'that perhaps you two would like to come up to the Queen Charlotte Islands with me. The lecture you want to hear is tomorrow, Artemis, but the one you're giving isn't until four days later. That gives us a few days to see a bit of the islands. They're supposed to be very beautiful, a lot of nearly untouched forest, dating back to prehistory.'

Holly turns in her seat to face Artemis. He resolutely stares at his laptop's screen.

'Artemis,' she says.

He doesn't look up. She purses her lips.

'Oh, alright, if it means that much to you. Just don't expect me to hike as well.'

Holly laughs and smiles. 'What are you talking about, Artemis? I'm your bodyguard. You go where I go. And I'm going hiking.'

'And here I was thinking _you _worked for _me_,' he shakes his head in mock dismay.

'Ha!' Holly snorts. 'Perish the thought!'

Artemis sighs, and resigns himself to getting hopelessly wet and muddy. The things one does for people one cares about. It's disgusting, really, how far he's slipped.

* * *

As Butler collects the key cards from the front desk, Holly eyes the lobby of the Fairmont Waterfront Hotel. It is opulent in the extreme, but a bit too beige for her tastes. She shakes her head; all this travelling on a Fowl-sized budget is spoiling her. The hotel is incredible and all she can think is, "it's too beige"?

_If it were you on your own you'd be bunking in a youth hostel dorm._

_Too true._

Artemis watches her expression change and asks, 'Care to share with the class?'

Holly laughs. 'It's a bit beige.'

Her companion nods but his thoughts on the colour scheme are interrupted by Butler's return, two bellhops in tow.

'We're in the Royal Suite,' he passes a key card to each. 'That _is _what you booked, isn't it, Artemis?'

'Yes.'

Butler smiles as their luggage is carried off for them. 'Lovely. It's my favourite.'

'The "Royal Suite"?' Holly raises an eyebrow as they head for the lift. 'They think very highly of themselves.'

'Well, it was where Queen Elizabeth stayed when she visited Vancouver in 2002,' Butler points out.

Holly stops in her tracks. 'You have _got _to be kidding me.'

Artemis motions to the open lift doors. 'Stop hanging about, Short.'

'But Queen _Elizabeth_?' Holly mutters as she hops into the lift. Spoiling hardly covers this.

* * *

Another detail Butler and Artemis have forgotten to mention about the Royal Suite is that it only has two bedrooms. Standing in the doorway of their room, Holly isn't exactly put out by this, only surprised that Artemis would be so blatant about the escalation of their relationship. He's chosen not to mention his father and their little chat.

'Holy Frond!' Holly is pulled out of her thoughts as she catches sight of the view. Floor to ceiling windows are full of the dark pine trees of Stanley Park and the sun setting over the harbour. The ocean is violet and gold in the dimming light and far in the distance she can make out the Olympic Mountains.

Artemis sits on the king-sized bed, smiling, as he takes off his shoes.

Holly presses her face and hands to the window, unable to get close enough to the heady mix of ocean and sky. 'How do people get anything done in this city?' she asks. 'I'd spend all day staring at the water.'

'She's going to be in seventh heaven when she sees the Queen Charlottes,' Butler pokes his head around the doorframe.

'Don't remind me,' Artemis grumbles.

'I've booked our accommodation already. A cabin in Naikoon Provincial Park. Mme. Ko's training grounds are on a small island off the coast of the park, I'll be able to take a skiff out there and back.'

'A cabin?' Artemis repeats.

'It'll be good for you,' Butler tells him.

Holly is still too busy at the windows to comment.

Shuddering delicately, Artemis says, 'I cannot believe I agreed to this.'

Butler smiles seraphically. 'Let's put it this way: I'm sure you'll be well rewarded.'

Artemis shoots him a dirty look.

* * *

Holly rolls onto her stomach, resting her weight on her elbows. They'd left the curtains open and, in the dim city lights, she watches Artemis sleep.

_He's so white you nearly lose him in the sheets,_ she thinks. She smiles to herself and brushes his hair off his forehead. She's had a fair few lovers in her life and he is far from being the most talented of them – yet - but he is far and away the most memorable. She supposes it helps that their attachment goes much deeper than any of her previous relationships. _It's bizarre, really. I mean, emotionally, we've been close for a long time – like he said before, we've been through too much not to be. So, that said, it's no surprise that we fell in love. Or whatever. But sleeping with him? Let's be honest here; he's not ugly, but he's skin and bones and paler than a deep water fish. Those haven't ever been things I found attractive. Not to mention, I never showed a tendency towards paedophilia before. So what's the attraction?_

He opens his eyes, large and dark in his sharp face. 'Hello,' he says. 'Can't sleep?'

She shakes her head, pupils dilating. _Girl, _she tells herself, _this really isn't going to work. You keep telling yourself scrawny, malnurished boys aren't attractive and, all the while, you can barely keep your hands off him._

'Me neither,' he tells her.

'What a coincidence.' She smiles his vampire smile.

* * *

'Hello,' Butler opens the suite's door the next morning, smiling down at the girl standing in the hall outside. 'Do come in.'

She smiles up at him and follows him to the main room, trailed by a stocky, blonde man in a dark suit.

'Minerva,' Artemis looks up as she sits down across from him. 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you? Saw my name on the attendees list and thought I'd not be able to keep away? How typical of the male ego.'

'And yet, here you are.'

'Mmm,' she replies. 'Where's Holly?'

'Out running.' Artemis can't help a slight wrinkling of his nose.

Minerva frowns at him. 'You look like you haven't slept a wink.'

Artemis coughs. 'It's the pillows.'

Butler snorts and interjects. 'Coffee, Minerva?'

'Yes, please.'

Butler turns to her companion, 'You too, Mr. -?'

'Steeves, Harold Steeves. And please.'

'Why don't you come into the kitchen with me?' Butler asks the other bodyguard.

'Sure,' says the amiable Harold.

As the two walk away, Minerva refocuses on Artemis. 'Who sleeps on the couch?' she asks.

'Pardon?' Artemis frowns at her.

'This suite only has two bedrooms.'

'Yes,' responds Artemis unhelpfully.

Minerva opens her mouth to reply but Harold and Butler choose that moment to return with the coffee.

'Harold,' Artemis eyes Minerva's latest bodyguard, wanting very much to change the subject. 'Judging by your accent, I'm going to say you're a native of Vancouver.'

'Close. I'm actually from Victoria. It's on Vancouver Island, just across the Juan de Fuca Strait there. Capital of the province, actually, though no one knows it.'

'Vancouver Island?' Butler repeats, frowning.

'Yeah. There's Van Isle and Van City. It's okay, no one but the locals can keep them straight.'

'How confusing,' Butler shakes his head.

'We try,' Harold smiles.

Minerva is neither impressed nor fooled by the change of subject.


	17. Chapter 17

Okay, the first paragraph is a cheap gag. So sue me.

And, also, I forgot to delete a sentence last chapter where Artemis says he hasn't mentioned his father's attempts at sex ed. to Holly. Oops. Not only do I abuse my beta's research skills, I forget to do as I'm told. So thank you!! to the ever patient ilex-ferox.

* * *

Chapter Seventeen: Patience

The first day passes quietly - Holly clearly missed Minerva and Harold in the hall because, though returning from her run only a few minutes after their departure, she arrives in high spirits. The lecture Artemis attends goes well, Holly is enchanted by their surroundings, and her enthusiasm makes Butler smile. Minerva, though seen occasionally in the distance, goes unnoticed by Holly and tranquility reigns.

_I could get used to this, _Butler thinks to himself that night, watching Holly and Artemis peaceably – for them – play rummy. _No screaming, no punching, no snotty remarks, no broken hearts. Bliss. _

'What?! Don't even_ think _about it, Mud Boy. You slimy little cheat!'

_Ah, spoke too soon._

* * *

The next morning sees them on their way to Harold's Vancouver Island. Having decided that twenty-one hours by car from Vancouver to Prince Rupert is not for them, they're driving the length of the island and taking the ferry from Port Hardy to Prince Rupert, and then from Prince Rupert to Skidegate in the Queen Charlotte Islands. During a lunch break outside Campbell River, Butler frowns at the map in his hands. 'If I had known it was going to be this difficult, I would've thought twice before agreeing to visit her,' he mutters to himself.

Artemis perks up considerably. 'There's still time to turn back. I hear Victoria's a charming little city.'

'What a quitter,' Holly shakes her head in mock dismay.

'What a pragmatist is what, I believe, you're trying to say,' Artemis corrects her.

A day later, however, when they finally arrive at their cabin in Naikoon Park, Artemis grudgingly admits that the scenery might just have been worth the trip.

'But only just,' he repeats. Holly is too busy with sensory overload to retort.

At dinner that night, Butler asks, 'I don't suppose you two would want to come along to visit Madame Ko with me? The island is apparently quite attractive, and they're the only ones on it, so there won't even be other tourists to hassle you.'

Holly's eyes get very big.

Artemis sighs. Endless sitting in a car with one's legs cramped. Perpetual ferry trips with loud children and recycled air. And now a trip in a dinghy out to the middle of nowhere, who knows how many hours there and back, getting buffeted by that awful sticky-salty ocean air? Will it never end?

'Well, we've come this far,' he says resignedly.

Holly's smile gets very big.

* * *

The boat ride is all Artemis feared it would be.

After all, neither the Queen Charlotte Islands nor Madame Ko's academy are known for their luxury. When they finally land, he eyes the greying wood of the dock with deep misgivings. But, despite his fears, they make it across the dock and onto dry land (dri_er_ land, he thinks, frowning up at the constant drizzle) without anyone falling through rotten planking.

Waiting for them on this dry land, at the foot of a dirt path leading inland, is a frail, positively ancient, Japanese woman.

'You came down yourself, _Sensei_?' Butler asks with evident astonishment.

The old woman nods. 'I have heard stories about someone replacing you. I was curious. And it has been a long time since I last saw you, young man.'

Holly and Artemis share a sceptical look. _Young man? _

Madame Ko approaches the heterochromatic pair, eyeing them thoughtfully. '_This _is what is replacing you?' she asks Butler after a moment, pointing to Holly with her chin.

_Uh oh, _thinks Butler.

"_This"?_ thinks Holly, her eyes narrowing.

'Holly's perfectly competent – ' Butler begins.

In one sudden movement, Madam Ko spins Holly around, trapping the younger woman's arms to her evidently not-so-frail body.

'Hey! What do you think you're – ouch! Would you watch it with the nails?' Holly splutters, as Madame Ko yanks down the collar of her anorak and paws her shoulder blades.

Artemis blinks. It's an expression of extreme shock, coming from him.

Butler closes his eyes briefly.

As the older woman pinches her bare skin, Holly takes advantage of her distraction and tears herself out of the other's grip. Only to find herself inexplicably and instantaneously pinned to muddy ground, arms held fast behind her.

'Get the hell off me, you lunatic,' she spits over her shoulder.

'Hold still, girl,' kneeling on Holly's back, Madame Ko simply _tsk_s and swats her shoulder, as though she were a misbehaving child. Turning to Butler, she asks, 'Where is her blue diamond?'

'She hasn't got one, _Sensei_. You know she hasn't got one. There's no need to humiliate her.'

'A little humiliation is good for the character. Especially when one works for the Fowls.'

Calmly stepping off Holly, Madame Ko dusts off her trousers.

'At least we agree about something,' Holly mutters darkly as she rises, glaring furiously at Butler's teacher. She doesn't, however, get the chance to vent her anger verbally, as Madame continues talking.

'So what, then, is the point of having her?'

Holly's mouth drops open.

'You may as well get the boy a German Shepherd, or a Rottweiler maybe, at least they _look _dangerous.'

Holly crosses her arms and fumes.

'One would have thought that since you have become so attached to your principal, which we will speak about later, you would have had the sense to find him a proper replacement for you. There were several students of mine ready for the position, as you well know.'

Butler sighs. 'Yes, _Sensei_, I know. But I barely managed to convince Artemis to replace me at all. If Holly hadn't taken the job he would never have accepted a new bodyguard.'

Madame Ko throws up her hands. 'Oh, excellent. You hired her because the principal thought she was pretty; that is wonderful. Just wonderful.'

Artemis grabs Holly's sleeve to keep her from attacking Madame Ko.

'No, S_ensei_, Holly's a good friend of ours. We've worked together before. I owe her not only my own life, but Artemis' as well. Several times over.'

Madame Ko pauses. She turns back to Holly and gives the furious woman a long, considering look. 'Is that so?'

'Do you really think I'd hire her, if I didn't think she could do the job?'

'One never knows with bodyguards. Once they become emotionally involved, I have seen them make the most outrageous decisions.' She shakes her head sadly. 'What a waste. However, she is too slow. Also too small; if he were to fall over and break his leg, she would not be able to move him. And let us not even mention emotional involvement.'

'Yes, let's not,' Butler agrees fervently.

Madame Ko nods and, deciding enough is enough, reaches up, taking Butler by the elbow. 'Would you like some tea? That boat ride is terrible.'

'Tea would be lovely,' Butler says.

Madame Ko motions to Artemis and Holly. 'Well? Come along. Keep up.'

As she and Artemis follow in the wake of the odd couple before them, Holly whispers to him, 'Who is she to call someone short? She may be the only human _shorter _than me.'

Artemis decides it's safer to shrug and say nothing.

* * *

After an awkward cup of Gyokuro, Madame Ko and Butler head off to watch the latest crop of students take part in what had sounded to Holly like an inhuman obstacle course. Not much for gladiatorial entertainment, she and Artemis head out into the forest, along a path which Madame Ko marks down for them on a worn map; though not without Madame first passing several snide comments on Holly's ability to get Artemis through the forest unscathed. Holly takes it with remarkable stoicism. She's decided she doesn't care if Madame Ko runs the best training academy this side of Mars, the woman is not worth her energy; her pointed face simply closes up and ices over. Madame Ko is mildly impressed.

As they watch the other two disappear into the trees, Madame Ko turns to Butler, her dark eyes twinkling, and says, 'I think she will do an excellent job. Provided she becomes a little faster. Your sister is more talented, and much stronger, but she cannot control herself like this one.'

Butler isn't sure whether to be complimented, or insulted. He smiles and nods.

* * *

'Are you sure we couldn't have watched that obstacle course? It didn't sound _too _horrendous,' Artemis tries in vain to dissuade Holly from all this running and jumping.

She looks at him over her shoulder. 'Artemis. We've walked fifty feet. Even you can't be tired yet.'

Artemis' shoulders slump. 'The sacrifices I make for you,' he jokes, mock-dejectedly.

Holly stops and turns around to face him. Hands in her pockets, she tilts her head to one side and raises a solitary eyebrow.

Her silence slides through him like Abbott's sword through her ribs. Maybe sacrifices made aren't the best thing to bring up with her.

He opens his mouth to acknowledge his hypocrisy but can't find anything suitable to say. Apologies have never been his forte, after all. And this would require more self-abasement than he cares for. Instead, he lowers his eyes, looking down at his boots.

She grins, impressed that he actually feels bad. 'Suffering from a bit of a guilty conscience, are we, Fowl?'

'Only when you're around to impose it on me.'

She throws her head back and laughs. As she steps forward to kiss him, he thinks that, as guilty as his conscience may be, it's nowhere near enough to make him give her up. Not now.

In the beginning, he hadn't wanted to work on a cure, he will freely admit that; he had tried because he had known it was The Right Thing to Do. If she were to ask him now how things were going - which she never does - he would have no qualms in telling her that he has long since stopped even pretending to try. And Foaly, unusually for him, has taken the hint without comment. Artemis suspects Foaly's bug in the Manor's security cameras has given him ample evidence as to why. Does this make him a terrible person? He doesn't think so. Who could possibly give up what they most wanted, once it was given to them? Very few. _I'm only human, after all_, he thinks.

As she takes his hand, leading him down the narrow trail, he shrugs mentally. _She's happy, isn't she?_ _I will give her everything she will ever need or want. I can't give her back, but I can make her happy. Surely that has to count for something?_

Oblivious to Artemis' internal dialogue, Holly is in seventh heaven. As they reach a dip in the path she stops, for the umpteenth time, and points ahead of them. 'Look at that tree, Artemis! It's _huge_. It must be at least a thousand years old.'

Artemis has to agree that it is, indeed, a very big tree. Why this means they have to stop and stand around, for goodness knows how long, he's not quite so sure.

'Think of it as an art exhibit, Artemis,' comes Holly's disembodied voice from behind the cedar. 'Think of this whole thing as one giant canvas. Look at the texture, the colour saturation. The detail, for Frond's sake.'

She appears on the other side of the tree. 'I mean, think about it - how does any human take themselves seriously in a world where they're nothing but short-lived specks? We'll never live a tenth of this tree's life.'

'But we'll get a lot more done.' He emphasizes the 'we' very slightly.

'Sometimes, I wish humans would get a lot less done.' Abruptly, Holly sits down on a nearby rock. 'I mean, all these trees, this place, it's beautiful. Have you ever seen anything more _alive_? And we're just going to come in and - and cut it all down for toilet paper. How do we do it? I don't understand. I don't understand that part of being human. It doesn't make any sense. And yet... I think I'm like you now. Just by existing up here I'm endangering the lives of these trees. Well, not _these trees. _I mean nature - the earth - in general. But I don't want to give it up. I want to stay human and see all these things all the time. There are nearly seven billion of us on the planet and really, the last thing the world needs is yet another human sucking up resources, but here I am, not caring that I'm only going to add to the problem, as long as it means I can stay up here and walk around in the forest from time to time. That... that's so messed up. That's so incredibly _selfish_.'

'That's what humans are.'

'Selfish?'

'Basically.'

'I think that stinks.'

'Fairies aren't entirely altruistic, either.'

'No. But the People could never harm something this beautiful, not even indirectly. If it kept the world unspoilt, the People would stay away.'

'Really? Are you absolutely positive, Holly? Positive that Sool, for instance, wouldn't have this tree removed if it were in his way ? Or Opal Koboi, or even Grub Kelp or Lili Frond? What about some average Joe-Fairy on the street? If they wanted something badly enough and this tree was, for some reason, in the way, wouldn't they do away with it?'

Holly swallows. 'I - I don't know. I don't... I want to say no, but... well, I mean, Opal doesn't really count, but...' She looks up at him, stricken. 'I don't know.'

'I think they would.' _Cruel to be kind, or however that ridiculous saying goes. If she's to be happy as a human, she needs to let the People go._

'You don't know anything about the People!' She rises to glare at him.

He raises an eyebrow. 'Don't I? Haven't I read their Book? Haven't I seen them at their worst? A people is only as good as its weakest link. Give humans a few more centuries and perhaps we'll be as peaceable as the People. We do have quite a bit of social evolution to catch up on.'

Holly snorts. 'And pigs might.'

'Do you really think humans are _that _bad?'

She sighs, looking away into the trees. 'No,' she says at last. 'At least,' turning back to him, 'I really want to think we aren't. I am one of you now, after all.'

He tugs on her sleeve, 'Come on. Those ferns over there look particularly green, don't you think?'

She looks at him, then at the cedar tree, then back to him - in time to see the tail end of a frown slip off his face. He smiles winningly at her.

'Oh, Artemis,' she says. _Simple pleasures, _Juliet had said. She watches Artemis, standing uncertainly on the path, completely out of his element - wilderness _and _emotional women? - but trying to make things right - and she laughs. Joy whistles through her like a sudden wind, banishing all her regrets. At least he's trying.

'Yes,' she agrees, 'let's go look at those ferns.'

She steps off the path, pushing through the dense fronds to stand amidst the ferns. They are taller than she is, the tips arcing over her head. High above the canopy, the sun dips from behind the cloud cover and shafts of light cut through the trees. Holly takes Artemis by the cuff of his jacket and pulls him through the ferns, towards the sun.

Sifted through the gauze of countless spiderwebs and a tangle of tiny branches, the light has an eerie, pearly quality. It pours through the arms of the trees, bright-white and glaring, backlighting each blade of grass and leaf and twig. It's as though the sun has fallen to earth and lies nestled in the trees ahead.

Artemis puts a hand up to shield his eyes, and the light makes his skin blinding.

As suddenly as it arrived, the sun is gone again, falling back behind the clouds. They are plunged into gloom, green flooding back over the world. Holly and Artemis blink light spots out of their eyes.

Still half-blind, Artemis reaches for Holly before she can run ahead again. Might as well make the most of this silly hike.

'I _told _you the forest is pretty,' she murmurs into his collar.

'I suppose,' he admits, laughing and taking advantage of her still-recuperating vision to kiss her. He really couldn't care less about a bunch of trees, but if it makes her happy.

They turn back through the ferns, making their way through the forest until they reach the ocean. Following the rocky beach, they head toward Madame Ko's camp. Holly stops to play with washed up bull kelp and run her hands over the sea stars and poke the tiny sea anemones that crowd the bottom of the tide pools. She laughs like a child as their sticky tentacles close over her fingertips, wondering if she is edible. Artemis sighs, but waits as patiently as he is able.

* * *

Meanwhile, back on the mainland, Minerva is putting the finishing touches to her preparations.

The full moon is heavy in the sky, turning the meadow of dead grass to silver. Just next to the clearing, in a dark thicket of tree, trees Minerva reclines on a deck-chair, warm inside her fur-lined park parka and boots, sipping wine and waiting. She hasn't brought anyone with her; she knows how to shoot a gun. Unlike Artemis, she is entirely self-sufficient - when she wants to be.

She's been sitting in these trees for what feels like days, though it's only been a few hours. It is, however, her fourth full moon. Maybe Canadian fairies will be easier to catch than Irish ones?

During her many stakeouts, she sips her wines and researches her prey. Holly is an elf, so Minerva needs elfin blood. Not to be confused with demon, goblin, pixie, sprite, gnome, dryad, naiad or dwarf. Minerva is fairly confident that she can tell the difference now, despite admittedly vague and contradictory descriptions; after all, she has seen Holly in the original edition.

And, as fate would have it, tonight is her lucky night. At 1:47 a.m., precisely, out of the sky swoops a thin figure, landing gracefully at the base of a Garry Oak. Setting aside her delicate wine glass, Minerva readies her rifle. She's been practicing her marksmanship. She can shoot the creature from here.

Tammi Linden carefully unhooks her father's prize pair of Koboi Doubledex wings – they're a discontinued line, after all – and squats on the ground, searching through the wet leaves for an acorn. She wrinkles her nose at the thought of what all this dirt is doing to her new gloves. Just as her fingers close around an acorn, she suddenly finds herself whirling through the air to land with a thump on her back. There's something in her shoulder and it hurts. She's sure it's torn a hole in her fake fur jacket. Also new, she might add.

'Elf?' comes a voice above and behind her.

'Yeah?' she replies fuzzily. Something is happening to her vision, it's all blurry. And Frond, is she tired. What in d'Arvit's name is going on?

Minerva eyes her captive. She has the same coffee complexion as Holly, if a little lighter, the same pointed ears and hooked nose. Her face is round, her eyes too close together and her mouth is long and droopy, but she is, without a doubt, the same species. The girl sighs. Artemis catches the love of his life and she gets this idiot? Some rich girl out on a thrill ride, by the looks of her fancy clothes. Apparently the _nouveaux riches_ have no taste no matter what the species.

Might as well make sure, however. Crouching low beside the creature's ear, Minerva asks, 'Are you an elf, fairy?'

'Well, duh,' her speech is slurred and slow, 'what does... it... look like I ammmm...?' Her head falls to the side and she begins to snore gently.

Sighing quietly, Minerva sets to work. Pushing up the sleeve of the ridiculous purple fur jacket the elf is wearing, she relieves the fairy of nearly half a pint of blood; the magic will restore what she's lost, after all. Packing up her things, Minerva pats the unconscious elf on the cheek and heads back to collapse her deck-chair.

Forty-five minutes later, Minerva is flying back to Vancouver in the helicopter she'd landed in the next field over, and Tammi is just waking up.

'Frond,' the elf sits up groggily, clutching her head, 'what's going on, eh? Where am I? I fell asleep above ground? D'Arvit, that's _so _the last time I toke up before flying. Gods, what if some gross Mud Creature saw me? Ew. Oh great, and now my jacket's filthy. Just fabulous. Where's an acorn, for Frond's sake? I am so outta here.'

* * *

The morning after their return to the comforts of the Royal Suite, Minerva knocks once more on their door. Butler lets her in with a smile, which she returns, beaming up at him. In a show of girlish enthusiasm, she wraps her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek. Butler pats her hair.

It reminds him of her visits to the cottage. Sometimes, if she'd had a particularly successful day, she would fly in, throwing her arms around him and babbling away before he even got the door closed. In that way, she is a more gratifying companion than Artemis. Every parent or guardian wishes to be needed or, more specifically, _wanted_ by their child. To be privy to her joys and successes was to be invited into her world - a world to which he, by rights, should have no access. When Artemis was a child, no one was invited in. If you saw anything, you saw it by accident. You were a voyeur, and you knew it.

Even more rewarding is that Minerva is hardly that demonstrative with anyone else. It pleases Butler enormously knowing that she cares for him enough to let herself go.

'What impeccable timing,' Butler comments. 'Holly's out on her run again.'

'Really? What a surprise.' Minerva answers with wide-eyed innocence, as though she hadn't timed this visit to coincide precisely with when Holly had been out running last time.

'I'm sure,' Butler replies with a chuckle, not fooled at all. 'No Harold today?'

'No, I left him in the café downstairs. I wanted to visit you all alone.'

'Me? Or Artemis?'

'Both of you,' Minerva replies without missing a beat. 'But, is Artemis home?'

'Yes,' Butler laughs, 'he's in the sitting room, just go through, I'll put the kettle on.'

'Thank you, Butler.'

Artemis is reading on the loveseat when she enters. Without being asked, she sits down beside him.

'Hello,' he says, looking up from _If Not, Winter_.

'Hello. It's good?' She nods towards his book.

'Yes, it's a very... lyrical translation.'

'How charming. And speaking of things which are charming, did you see the full moon yesterday night?'

'No,' Artemis replies. 'Was it full? I hadn't realised. We were on the ferry.'

'Ah, yes, that's a pity. It was very beautiful.'

'I didn't realise you were such an appreciator of nature.'

'There are a lot of things you don't realise about me, Artemis Fowl.'

He raises an eyebrow.

She continues. 'Have you found a cure for that little problem of Holly's yet?'

He frowns. 'No, why do you ask?'

'Well, you must admit, it _is _very interesting as a puzzle.'

'Yes, it is.'

'Have you never thought of replicating her transformation? With other species?'

'No, that seems rather macabre to me.'

'Macabre? Are you playing at being a good boy, Artemis? It doesn't go suit you. Good people have no imagination.' Her lip curls.

'I'm not playing at anything, but thank you for your concern.'

His calm infuriates her. 'Play all you want, Artemis, it doesn't matter; you'll never be good enough for her. I mean to say in a moral sense, not in general.'

'I'm afraid I don't follow,' Artemis replies.

'Yes, you do. You'll never be good enough for Holly. For what she believes she deserves. Someday, someone will find a cure, and she will go. Do you really think that you are enough to keep her above ground, away from her people? Away from her magic?'

'You have no idea what you're talking about,' Artemis' voice is cold.

Minerva grimaces. 'Artemis, _écoute-moi_, she will leave you. Maybe not now, maybe not for another ten years, but she will. She will never understand you. You are a criminal, she's a policewoman. You're brilliant, she's normal –'

'Normal is hardly a word I would associate with –'

'I mean her IQ. She's not a genius. She'll break your heart, Artemis. Why don't you believe me?'

'Perhaps because it seems a bit convenient for you.'

The girl pauses, sighing. 'Yes, yes it is. But that doesn't make it any less true. For once, I really am trying to help you. Don't push me away, Artemis. You and I, we're the same.' And, because for once Minerva actually believes what she's saying, her words come out with unusual passion. Though she has a sinking feeling that she has lost already, before she has even begun.

Artemis looks at the beautiful girl before him. He is incredibly lucky, he reflects, to have his pick of two extraordinary women, when he is nothing but a scrawny, cold-hearted criminal. She is right too – she and he are very similar. Somewhere deep in his mind he realises that, had he not woken up one morning at the age of ten and decided to kidnap a fairy, Minerva would have been the woman he married. If he married at all, that is. However, he had woken up one morning at the age of ten...

'I'm sorry, Minerva, there is nothing you can say that can change my mind.'

'You're being an idiot,' she says bluntly, her eyes suspiciously bright.

He laughs without humour. 'There's a first time for everything.'


	18. Chapter 18

In celebration of 'The Dead, the Broken and the Living', by Kit Heart! Wahoo! At last!

Well, this is where the proverbial shit hits the fan. And probably my least favourite chapter. I think it's kind of subpar - choppy _and_ sappy - but I couldn't force it into something better so ah well. Though, hurrah! Minerva characterisation. I think I may finally actually be starting to warm up to her... shock and awe.

Praise be to ilex-ferox, most thorough of betas. Sunrise times for Nice, people! I am a lazy author who takes advantage of her beta.

* * *

Chapter Eighteen: It's Always Darkest Before Dawn.

Minerva frowns down at the Rocky Mountains far below her. Resting her forehead on the window pane, she shifts irritably in her luxurious leather seat. Artemis and Company may have reverted to public flights, but Minerva has none of Holly's environmental misgivings. Her family's personal jet is lavish in the extreme - and yet all of this does nothing to improve her mood.

She is coming to terms with the fact that she cares for Artemis Fowl. She is realising that, unthinkable though it is, should her scheme not succeed and should she lose him, possibly forever, she will be heartbroken. And this betrayal of herself, _by _herself, appalls her.

However, now that she recognises her feelings for what they are - instead of simply a vindictive desire to have something because another holds it dear - she tries to trace it to its roots. Given a choice, she would cite her rescue from Billy Kong as the turning point. As the moment when she began to derail.

In truth, her attraction goes farther back.

From the moment he had applauded her at the Opera, Minerva has subconsciously begun to attach more importance to Artemis Fowl than was strictly necessary. Here, at last, was a person worthy of her admiration. Here was someone who understood her. Here was someone just like her. And, as a girl moving from childhood to adolescence, as a girl who had never been understood before, her craving to be accepted and, above all, _esteemed_ by her peers, was strong. And Artemis Fowl II was the first person to ever, with complete comprehension, give her the applause she deserved.

Of course, it helps that he then sallied forth and, at great personal risk, rescued her from nearly certain death, only to vanish into infinity. It's really very romantic, when you think about it.

So for the first three years of her adolescence, she lived in awe of this boy-genius, made all the more awe-inspiring by his non-existence. Every teenage girl wants to be swept off her feet, wants that mysterious hero to come for her and her alone. While most girls have to settle for fantasizing about movie-stars, however, Minerva really did have her own vanished champion to daydream about. And three years worth of daydreams creates a lot of expectations - not that they are always acknowledged, even to oneself.

Teenage fantasy or not, the fact remains that she and Artemis are nearly perfect for each other. Brilliant, young, and rich, with their penchant for petty cruelty and criminal activity, they would have been an incredible match.

Minerva wrinkles her pretty nose at the 'would have been'. Would have been, if it hadn't been for someone - someone who could not be more dissimilar to them - butting in. As moral as they are corrupt, as old as they are young and as common as they are elite. As fierce as they are cool and collected. Holly Short should never have happened. She is an aberration, a mistake, the only flaw in an otherwise perfect masterpiece. And everyone involved knew it.

The girl frowns. It's time she did something about Holly Short.

* * *

A few days after their return to Ireland, Holly turns a corner in central Dublin on her way back from Meeting House Square. A car goes by and she represses a shudder at the exhaust fumes that pass her. The moon slides from behind the clouds and strikes the corner of the building, sectioning the pavement into triangles of light and dark. Holly shivers as it hits the back of her neck; with November on its way out, even the light is cold.

From an open window across the street there comes the sound of a violin being tuned. Holly turns her head to listen. The player is invisible behind the curtains but they play with confidence, moving quickly from scales to a sweet, high air. Their playing is beautiful, never slipping or scratching; making the strings hum and sing, but never screech.

Another car passes. Holly doesn't notice. She sits down on the kerb, propping her chin in her hands. In this moment she is completely happy.

When the violinist only plays a few songs, however, and when he finishes she gets up, dusts off her trousers, and continues on her way.

She doesn't get far.

Ducking into a side alley to shave five minutes off her trip, she walks straight into a waiting mob. The six men encircle her immediately, before she has the chance to run. Bending her knees slightly, she frowns. This is hardly the neighbourhood for gangs to be loitering in not-so-dark alleys. She smells a rat.

'Can I help you, gentlemen?' she asks, hands in her pockets. 'You lot do realise 8:30's a bit early for this kind of thing, right? Couldn't you have waited a couple of hours? Until it was properly night, at least?'

'I'm afraid we're in a bit of a hurry, actually,' replies a heavyset blond on her right. 'There's someone we know who's very keen for your ... help.'

'Really?' Holly's fingers curl around the keys in her pocket. They aren't a fully-charged Neutrino but, then, you've got to work with what you have. 'What an odd way of asking for help,' she raises her eyebrows.

'Well,' the blonde shrugs, 'we're told you're not known for your charity, eh?'

'Ouch,' says Holly and jumps. She takes one out with a jab across the windpipe and another with a kick to the head. Recovering quickly from their momentary shock, the remaining four jump on her simultaneously.

She fights dirty without a moment's hesitation, swiping at eyes with her keys, biting earlobes and clawing at whatever skin comes her way. Another two go down, before the blonde, helped by a tall, slender brunette, gets her arms behind her back, hoisting her off the ground. She kicks when the brunette comes too close in an attempt to gag her. In the end, the blonde yanks her arms tight against his chest, pinning them there with one gigantic one of his own, and clamps a hairy hand over her mouth. She promptly bites his fingers but he just laughs.

'Get the guys up 'n outta here,' he tells the brunette. 'I'm taking her to the car.'

At the other end of the alley they're met by a sleek black sedan. A uniformed chauffeur opens the back door and Holly is quickly and unceremoniously thrown in. The blonde man follows more sedately.

Clutching her head where it has hit the opposite window, she grabs the door handle in an attempt to escape out the other side.

'Don't worry,' Minerva speaks from the front passenger seat, 'I've put the child lock on.'

Holly whirls at the sound of a familiar voice. The blonde man takes advantage of her momentary distraction to slap a pair of handcuffs on her.

'Minerva! I might have known,' Holly growls, lashing out at the girl with a free leg. The girl ducks, laughing, as the blonde man grabs Holly by the foot and cuffs her ankles together as well.

'As feisty as always, Holly,' Minerva smiles at her captive. 'I wonder that Artemis doesn't find it trying.'

All her limbs bound, Holly resorts to spitting. 'I'd rather feisty than treacherous.'

'Ah, but that's something Artemis and I have in common, isn't it?'

'What can I say?' Holly flops back against the seat, glaring. 'Opposites attract.'

Minerva's lip rises in a slight sneer. 'Goodness only knows why.'

* * *

Juliet paces her tiny living room, her mobile jammed between her ear and her shoulder as she listens to the ringtone on the other line. She is getting worried. Holly promised to be back in an hour. They had had some serious wrestling to watch, after all. Now it's past midnight. The phone in Juliet's hand rings again. 'Come on,' she growls, 'pick up your damn phone!'

'Hello?'

'Artemis? It's Juliet. Is Holly there?'

Silence. Then, 'No. Should she be?'

'I dunno. She was supposed to be back here by 9:30, to watch a film with me. But she never came back from her errands. She's been gone more than four hours.'

More silence.

'Artemis?'

'Have you called her phone?'

'Obviously,' Juliet scoffs. 'She hasn't picked up.' She hears tapping in the background. 'What are you doing?'

'Running a trace on her LEP communicator's tracker.' There's a brief pause. 'Apparently the reason she's not back yet is because she's in the south of France.'

'_What?_'

'Come to the Manor. I'm calling Foaly.' Abruptly, the line goes dead.

* * *

'I believe Minerva may have kidnapped Holly.'

This is not Foaly's idea of the model opening sentence for a conversation.

'You're kidding me, right? Artemis, your girlfriend is a serious pain in the _derrière_.'

For a moment, Artemis is puzzled. How is Holly to blame in this situation? Then it clicks. He rolls his eyes. 'And now is not the time for pubescent jokes, Foaly. I need Mulch. And blueprints to Minerva's villa. I know it's bedrock underneath, but just how deep is the topsoil, can you find out?'

Foaly whinnies indignantly. 'Can I find out? I'm not your personal secretary, Master Mud Boy.'

'Holly,' Artemis replies.

The centaur sighs and calls Mulch. While the phone rings, he pulls an LEP satellite out of orbit and snaps a few shots of Minerva's seaside villa. Hurriedly, he sends the satellite back to hovering over Tara - before Trouble comes for his tail. As his computers make a 3D schematic from the snapshots, Mulch answers his phone.

'Diggums and Day.'

'It's Foaly. It pains me to say this, but you need to come down.'

'Frond, can't you even do your laundry without my help?'

'It's Holly.'

A brief silence. 'Why am I not surprised? Give me ten, wouldya?'

The computer chimes as the schematics finish processing.

'I'm sending you the blueprints now, Artemis.'

'Thank you. Ah, Butler, Juliet, just in time.'

A window pops up on Foaly's screen, a video of the three above ground. Foaly returns the favour.

'What's the game plan, Artemis?'

Artemis smiles his vampire smile.

* * *

Hands on hips, Minerva eyes her captive. Holly glares back at her, securely strapped to a chair in the middle of Minerva's study.

Her eyes wandering, Minerva catches sight of a slight bump under Holly's jacket. Stepping forward she pushes aside the coat and rifles through Holly's shirt pockets. Her fingers close on a small smooth object which she twitches irritably into view. Abruptly Minerva's frown changes to a look of total bafflement.

'What is this?' she asks, dangling Holly's fairy communicator in the elf's face.

'Highly advanced portable video game equipment?' Holly tries.

Minerva closes her eyes briefly, two fingers on her temple. 'You didn't get rid of her electronics?' Her voice is deceptively calm.

From the corner, Harold shrugs. 'I chucked her phone back in Dublin. Besides, don't know if you noticed, but I kind of had my hands full as it was. Besides which, I don't even know what that thing _is_; it's not a cellphone.'

_Which is exactly my problem. _On any other occasion, Minerva would have jumped at the chance to dissect what was clearly fairy technology - and not of the entertainment variety. Right now, however, she just wanted it as far from her as possible. Goodness only knows what it could have built into it.

'You _imbecile_,' Minerva snarls. 'Here, take it! Take it and get it as far away from here as you can. Leave it in town somewhere. I can only hope Artemis hasn't gotten suspicious yet. At this moment, him on my doorstep is the last thing I need.'

As Harold leaves, Minerva groans quietly to herself. Holly sniggers loudly. Minerva shoots her a withering glare. 'It doesn't matter. You're still here, aren't you? He'll never make it in time.'

Holly snorts. 'Right. Sure. Whatever.'

_It's nothing,_ Minerva tells herself, wishing she believed that. _Let Artemis come if he wants to. I will see this through._

* * *

Mulch makes it to Fowl Manor in record time. He's always preferred autumn and winter, the nights are so much longer.

Munching on a chicken leg, he peers at the map before him. Artemis traces a line across it with his finger and explains the plan. 'Foaly's ground survey shows that the topsoil is markedly deeper at the rear of the house. Presumably this is because of the vegetable garden they have just begun beside the back drive. Butler and I will park there. It's not unusual for us to use the back door, after all. From the car, tunnel straight down and, once under the house, go right. There's a pantry there which I believe is mostly unused. Parked correctly, the car will provide you with cover from the security cameras.'

He says this in a way that leaves no doubt that the car will be parked correctly.

'Here's the floor plan of the house,' Artemis continues. 'You'll be taking Juliet with you, in case you find Holly and she needs to be moved quickly.' He doesn't offer an explanation as to why Holly would be unable to move herself.

Mulch nods, politely refraining from speaking with his mouth so full.

Juliet makes a face at the prospect of crawling through Mulch's recycled clay, but knows better than to say anything.

'One question,' Foaly asks from the computer, 'how do you know it's Minerva? Why would she want Holly?'

'Well, the fact that the locator in Holly's communicator shows her to be in Minerva's villa outside Tourrettes Sur Loup was, I thought, a relatively clear indicator.'

'What if it's a decoy; Minerva's too smart to leave Holly with a locator on her.'

'True, but Minerva hasn't dealt with the People as I have. Should she find Holly's communicator she likely won't know it for what it is. Not to mention, her henchmen certainly won't know what to make of it. Besides, they'll throw away her phone and expect that to be the end of the matter. Holly doesn't exactly flaunt her communicator. Moreover, Minerva knows Holly has changed species. I believe she may want to do research on her.' He doesn't mention the vial of stolen serum.

'_What_?' Foaly gapes.

'Right, well, let's get a move on then, shall we?' Before Foaly can verbalise his disgust more eloquently, Mulch swallows and speaks. 'And next time, go heavier on the pepper, Butler.'

Artemis frowns at the dwarf.

'Hey, relax, Mud Boy. We've been in worse jams than this, and when have I ever not pulled through for my little girl?'

Shaking himself from his horror, Foaly pipes up. 'I'm going to have to cut contact, guys, before someone down here gets suspicious. I'll be around if you need me but-'

'Only if it's absolutely necessary. Or when we find her,' Artemis nods. 'We are, however, going to need you to make a loop for the security cameras. Juliet and Mulch are hardly invisible.'

'Way ahead of you, Arty; I sent a present along with the Smelly One. It's like my fibre optic twists,_ however, _not only does it allow me access to closed systems but, if I'm too busy to bother, it's programmed to automatically film a ten minute clip of everything the networks sees and then feed it back into the cameras indefinitely. At least, until someone reboots the system.'

'Clever,' Artemis says.

'I think you mean brilliant, but I get the point. Good luck,' Foaly is lining up his monitors as he closes the screen.

'Well,' Artemis straightens his cuffs, 'shall we?'

'Who wants to fly the jet?' Butler dangles the keys.

* * *

Minerva swabs the inside of Holly's elbow and takes a sample of her blood. 'Now I'm going to show you a magic trick,' the blonde smiles thinly, shaking the vial slightly.

'So, look closely at this,' Minerva waves a Petri dish of blood under Holly's nose. 'This is your blood.' Minerva slides the dish under the microscope and puts the lens to Holly's eye. 'Look.'

'It's blurry,' says Holly with evident satisfaction.

Minerva sighs, adjusting the focus.

'Stop, it's clear.' Holly peers through the microscope. 'What exactly am I looking for?'

'Nothing, just look, and remember.'

'If you say so.'

'I do.' Minerva takes the microscope back. 'Now I'm going to add my own version of the serum - with elfin blood instead of human.' She squeezes a capful into the dish. The blood swirls of its own accord, incorporating the new substance. 'Look again.'

Holly does, swallowing. 'The shapes are different.'

'Yes,' Minerva replies scornfully, 'the "shapes" are different. That's because those are elfin "shapes", not human ones. That's elfin blood, you're looking at. Note the magic which attaches itself to the red cells.'

Holly looks up at the blonde, eyes wide. 'Magic? But that's my blood.'

'Exactly,' Minerva smiles.

'You found a cure?' Holly whispers.

'You and Artemis owe me a Nobel Prize,' the other woman says.

'No,' Holly shakes her head. 'No! You can't show this to anyone, it'll be even worse than capturing N°1!'

'Not at all. I don't need to use fairy blood; I could turn a dog into a cat, or a dolphin into a chimpanzee. I could recreate extinct species.'

'And the magic? How would you explain that?'

Minerva shrugs, unconcerned, 'Don't worry your pretty little head, I'll think of something.'

Holly growls, straining at her handcuffs.

Minerva tightens a rubber strap around Holly's arm. 'Why are you struggling? Don't you want this?'

Holly glares. 'Yeah, I just _love_ being treated like a lab rat. _Frond!_ I can't believe this. Butler is usually a better judge of character than this.'

The girl pauses midway through re-swabbing Holly's arm. 'What I am doing isn't bad. I get my Nobel Prize, you get your magic back. How am I hurting anyone? Honestly, you should be thanking me.'

'You kidnapped me! _Again_! Never mind the havoc you'll wreak with that serum.'

'I'm not going to wreak havoc. I _have _matured. And you were hardly going to come with me if I asked nicely, now were you?' The girl squints at the syringe as it fills with liquid.

'Gee, I wonder why?'

As Minerva turns back to her worktable, Holly frowns, leaning back in her seat. 'This isn't just about a Nobel Prize, is it?'

'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Sure you do, you're a smart kid, after all.' Holly licks her lips. 'Do you really think getting rid of me will bring him to you? This is all a bit paperback romance-y, don't you think?'

Minerva puts the Petri dish down very carefully. 'I don't know what you're talking about.'

Holly sighs, and begins lying through her teeth. 'He really isn't worth it, you know. He's just a scrawny little man. He's not worth all this effort.'

'I know,' Minerva turns to face Holly at last. 'They are never worth the effort.'

'_Tell _me about it.'

'But there is no one else.'

'Minerva, there are over six billion people on this planet. There's always someone else.'

Minerva glares at the equipment on her desk. 'You don't understand. I have had enough of being talked down to because I'm young and because I'm a girl. No one takes me for serious. And I am tired of talking down to everyone else because they are stupid and useless. He and I ... we are equals. I have never had an equal before. I want ... I want to be respected. No, that's the wrong word. I want ...'

'To be appreciated?' Holly tilts her head. 'I used to be a member of the Fairy police. Part of a really elite branch. I was the first female fairy to _ever _be allowed in. I think I may understand perfectly.'

'That must have been very trying.'

'It was.'

'And did you find someone who was worth your respect? Who respected you?' Minerva focuses on her with such intensity that Holly nearly flinches.

'Yes,' Holly nods. 'I found several people.'

The girl's intensity vanishes and she spits out, 'Then why don't you go back to them! You want to, don't you? You don't care for him_. I_ care for him; we are made for each other, as you English say.'

'First of all, I'm not English, and secondly, that may be so, but Artemis has changed drastically since he was "made". It's what he does that matters, not what he is. I mean, it's what he does that makes him what he becomes. It's what we all do that makes us what we become. And he has become nothing like you.'

'You tell yourself that because you want to make a pet of him, a good little lapdog. "Look how I've changed him!" you'll say. "Look how I've made him better." You love him because he is something you can fix.'

Holly blinks. 'That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.'

'Ah yes? Then why do you love him?'

Holly frowns, momentarily silent.

Minerva snorts. 'Exactly.'

'No, wait a minute. Give me a second to gather my thoughts, here.' Holly takes a deep breath. 'Because he _has_ become different. Because he's trying to be good. Well, better. He _chose _to, I didn't make him do anything. And _that's_ what I love. That there's more to him than just his brilliance. And honestly, if anyone's the lapdog here, as much as I hate to admit this, it's probably me. I'm the one running around pandering to his ridiculous schemes.'

'Then just say no. Leave him.'

Holly shakes her head. 'It's too late for that. He and I... we were the same person once, you know. In the time tunnel, we were just one and it felt... it felt... I knew I would never be more comfortable than that. It was home. That sounds stupid.' She frowns at nothing in particular. 'And we're nothing a like but it works, everything balances out. Without him,' she shrugs, 'without him, there wouldn't... there isn't... there isn't anything. I would be alone and I wouldn't even be me. I'd be... I don't know. I've forgotten what I was before. Good God, would you listen to me? I sound like a total sap.' Abruptly, she refocuses on Minerva.

The two women look each other in the eye and, for a moment, understand each other completely.

* * *

Having entered the grounds without difficulty - the guard at the gate knows them well, after all - Butler drives past the villa, heading towards the rear car park. As the car comes to a standstill, carefully blocking the security camera above the back door, Artemis turns to his three companions, two of whom lie hidden below him.

'Does everyone understand what they need to do?' he asks. They nod silently. Juliet mouths _duh_; Artemis ignores her. 'Excellent. If all goes according to plan, we'll be seeing each other in another few hours. Good luck.' He opens his door to get out of the car and Mulch and Juliet quickly clamber out with him.

As Butler and Artemis walk away, Mulch opens his jaw, diving into the ground below without further ado. Juliet takes a deep breath and, with one last look at the moon - still just visible in the early morning dark, crawls after him.

The autumn sun won't be up for at least half an hour.

* * *

'She's fine,' Butler says, as they walk to the door.

'Who said she wasn't?' Artemis replies with apparent calm. To all intents and purposes he could be going on an early morning stroll. In his mind, however, he's hearing Minerva's words on a loop. _"You'll never be good enough for Holly. For what she believes she deserves. Someday, someone will find a cure, and she will go. Do you really think that you are enough to keep her above ground, away from her people? Away from her magic?" _

_It's not her safety I'm concerned about; _he wants to say._ Minerva won't hurt her, she'll cure her..._

'Artemis, you don't need to worry.' Butler reiterates.

'Trust me, old friend, I'm not worried. In fact,' Artemis turns to his bodyguard, a cruel smile on his face, 'I'm positively looking forward to this. My guile has been getting rusty.'

Butler eyes his charge's tense shoulders and sighs. 'Whatever you say, Artemis.'

* * *

There's a knock at the door. Minerva loosens the tourniquet, puts the syringe down and goes out to see who it is, locking Holly in behind her.

'There're two guys here to see you,' Harold is waiting for her in the drawing room outside. 'Everyone's favourite bald giant and malnourished teen. What should I tell them? That normal people don't make social calls at seven a.m.?'

Minerva presses her lips into a thin line. '_Putain de __merde__,_' she mutters.

'Pardon?'

'Stay with the prisoner, I'll deal with them.' Minerva hands him the keys. 'And for goodness sake don't touch anything, or I'll have your head on a platter.'

Harold gives her a mocking salute as she rushes past.


	19. Chapter 19

* * *

I really, really wanted Minerva's villa to have an ocean-view. Arrr!! I mean come on! Who has that kind of money, lives in the south of France, but not right on the water? No one, that's who!

Anyway, I think you all know where this is going.

Thanks to ilex-ferox for laying down the law on dream sequences.

* * *

Chapter Nineteen: In the End

_Holly stands before him, one metre tall exactly. 'It's for the best,' she says. She is wearing her LEP jumpsuit, helmet tucked professionally under one arm._

'_You don't believe that,' he looks down at her from his chair._

'_It doesn't matter what I believe.' She refuses to meet his eyes. Her eyes. She is lying to both of them._

'_We both knew this would come in the end,' she says. Putting down her helmet, she reaches forward, gently pulling the elastic strap of the goggles over his head. _

'_That is not true. You need me. What happens next time the People are in trouble?'_

'_There won't be a next time.' She is still refusing to meet his eyes. He wants to reach out and force her to look at him._

'_There is always going to be a next time. I will create a next time.'_

'_Artemis, please -' she swallows, 'please don't do this.'_

_She does look at him then, and her eyes are mirrors of his. He can feel hopelessness sliding between his ribs like a knife, cutting through his desperation. Cutting straight through until it hits the centre of everything: the foreknowledge of his own impending heartbreak. And it's made worse because he can see all of that again in her eyes looking back at him. In some deep part of his mind he is impressed. This pain is far worse than anything he could ever have inflicted. Fate is, at long last, putting him in his place. _

'_This is not how it should end,' he whispers, fierce._

_The world bleeds into itself like watercolours. Its lines blur and the colours muddy, becoming shadows that eat away at the walls around them, at his body, at Holly's face before him. _

'_Things don't always work out the way they should,' she replies. 'This is how it _has _to end. This is how it was always going to end.'_

'_It can't,' his voice isn't pleading; it's assertive. Calm and collected because he knows, for once, he's speaking the truth. 'You can't do without me.'_

'_We can do without you just fine,' comes Trouble's disembodied voice from behind him._

_But Holly is looking him in the eyes. She knows what he's talking about. She is remembering exactly how this will feel._

'_At least _you_ won't remember,' she says pulling down the goggles._

'_That's the worst part,' he says, catching hold of her wrists, his voice still level. 'I'll never know what it is I'm looking for.' _

_She frees herself, tugging the goggles into place. _

_'__I'm sorry,' she says, and he can see that she is. To him, her face is an open book. 'This is the end, Artemis. I'm so sorry.'_

* * *

'Artemis! Butler! What a surprise.' Minerva is all charm by the time she greets her guests in the front hall. Artemis, at least, matches her watt for watt.

'Minerva, I know it's horrendously early, but we were in the neighbourhood and thought we'd drop by. I _do_ hope we're not disturbing you.' Artemis' smile is terrifying.

'Disturbing me? You two? Never,' she tinkles. _Clearly we didn't get rid of that fairy device fast enough, _she thinks. Then she catches sight of Butler's face behind Artemis. His features are perfectly composed, not betraying even a flicker of emotion, but his eyes meet hers and guilt rises like a tide in her stomach, threatening to engulf her. She has never been made to feel such an utter failure in her entire life; and all without one word spoken. 'C-come this way.' She shakes her head, pulling herself together. 'Would you like tea?'

'Tea would be lovely,' Butler may be devastated but Artemis, despite his unacknowledged anxiety, truly is revelling in the chance to be vindictive without having to feel guilty about it.

* * *

'Why are we stopping?' Juliet whispers, her headlamp illuminating almost nothing in the oppressive darkness of the tunnel. She's glad - it saves her from seeing things she doesn't want to see.

'Because we've arrived.'

She might not be able to see much, but Juliet can hear condescension a mile away.

'Well, how was I supposed to know?' she hisses back.

'Shh, I'm concentrating.'

'Uh oh, trying to count to ten again, are you?'

'Ooh, ouch. Now be quiet, I'm listening to see if it's safe to go out, genius.'

This shuts Juliet up. 'Sorry,' she whispers, contrite.

It's a moment before Mulch responds, and the sounds of him chewing reverberate through the small space. 'Don't worry,' he speaks at last, 'not everyone can be as brilliant as I am. All clear, we're going up. Be quick about it, I've got some serious gas to release.'

'Right.' Juliet scrambles past the dwarf, coming out onto the wooden floor of a dark, cramped room. 'Gah, it's nearly as small as the tunnel was.'

The sound of Mulch passing wind echoes down below her. She wrinkles her nose. 'Next time Dom can crawl after you.'

'I love you too, Stinker.'

Juliet chuckles. 'Right back atcha. Now, let's get this show on the road. What're the infra-reds showing?'

Mulch pulls out a small, flat device and holds it in his palm. A screen comes to life, showing them the blueprints that Foaly made up. Superimposed onto them, the tiny machine's infra-red sensors have painted glowing patches moving through the rooms. Mulch squints at the screen. 'I'm seeing the kitchens, couple of people there; next rooms are empty ... oh, I think I found Artemis and Company, one of those blotches is huge, must be your brother... ah, here we go: tiny person who looks to be sitting down with someone larger circling 'round. Can you say prison guard or what? They're in the opposite end of the house though, southern corner _and _on the second floor.'

Juliet _tch_es. 'Well, let's hope these distractions work. You got Foaly's looping gizmo?'

'Yessir.'

'Right, let's move out.'

'Affirmative, Captain,' Mulch sniggers.

'Oh shut up.'

* * *

'So,' Harold circles the woman, 'Holly. How are you feeling?'

Holly glares at him.

'Not a big talker, eh? That's okay, I like monologues. You can just listen if you want.'

'I hardly have a choice in the matter,' Holly points out, nodding her chin at the restraints on her wrists and ankles.

'True,' Harold muses. 'Though, what does that say about me? Resorting to force just to have an audience?'

Holly sighs. Even the thugs she ends up with fancy themselves intellectuals.

* * *

Artemis' mobile rings suddenly, interrupting an apparently pleasant conversation about hydrogen fuel cells. He looks down at the number and pulls a face. 'I'm sorry, Minerva, this is terribly rude, but I really must take this call. I'll be right back.' Getting to his feet, he disappears into the hall.

Usually, when Artemis leaves a room, the atmosphere warms up a tangible two or three degrees. This time, it drops even more.

Minerva sips from her teacup, unable to look Butler in the eye. They both know why he and Artemis are here.

Butler, on the other hand, watches her intently. He has suddenly realised what it is like to be Holly and love someone, though you know they are going to let you down: again and again and again. And know that you will forgive them each time and hate yourself a little for doing so. But a little hate is better than not loving them at all.

* * *

'Yes?' Artemis speaks softly. Though he's speaking into his mobile, his voice is also being picked up by the throat mike plastered, invisible, to the skin of his neck.

'We're in,' Juliet replies. 'We've been watching the infra-reds and, just for the record, I'm pretty sure Minerva has a rats and -'

'_Juliet_.'

'- right. Sorry. We think that Holly's up in the southern corner, second floor. There's two humanoid blobs up there, one stay perfectly still while the other paces. Not sure, but just a head's up.'

Artemis frowns. 'Minerva's rooms are near there, that would make sense. Perhaps she's got a lab set up. At any rate, be ready to follow her when she leaves. Can you see us on the blueprints?'

'Yep, we've got you. Front salon?'

'Yes, that's right. There's a stair way just to our left.'

'Yeah, I know. Don't worry, Mulch and I have this all figured out. We're going to go detonate now. Hold onto your hat!'

'Good. And don't let anyone see you.'

'No, really?'

Artemis can nearly hear her rolling her eyes.

* * *

Mulch and Juliet follow the blueprints to an empty room with more than one exit. The map points them to an out of favour parlour on the sout-east side of the villa. Using the infra-red sensors to avoid what would have otherwise been several close calls with Minerva's horde of security guards, they sneak across the rambling house. Slipping into the deserted drawing-room, they take a minute to sit down on a dust-sheeted couch and catch their breath. When Juliet stands again, she has a small sphere in her right hand.

'It's too bad Artemis won't let us use real grenades,' she pouts.

'Don't worry,' Mulch tells her. 'I've used bangers before. They're the next best thing. All the smoke and noise, none of the clean up. Besides, Foaly inveneted them. If he knows how to do anything it's causing an uproar over nothing.''

Juliet eyes the tiny ball doubtfully. 'Well, here goes nothing, I guess. Get ready to run.'

She and Mulch head for the opposite door and she pulls the pin, throwing the grenade into the centre of the room. Sure enough, ten seconds later, the house shudders with the noise of its detonation. Mulch tucked under one arm, Juliet is already rooms away.

* * *

Minerva's head whips around as the sound of an explosion thunders through the villa. '_Quoi..._?' She rises from her seat, pulling out a mobile phone as she heads for the door. '_Jacques!_ _Qu'est ce qui s'est passé? Tu n'sais pas. Oui, évidemment, ça s'voit. Non, je m'en fou de tes excuses. 'Scuse-moi? Tu te fou de ma geule ou quoi là? Non, c'est ça que je croyais. Bon, ben, vas-y alors!' _She turns to her guests, switching back to English, 'I'm afraid I must leave you. Hopefully, it's just the cook having trouble with the ovens.' Flashing them a smile, she disappears into the hall.

Running for the nearest staircase, she opens the phone again. 'Harold. Move Holly into the lab. Then go downstairs and have your men stall my two visitors. Invent an excuse to keep them there. Some regulation or something. No death, you understand?' _As though those idiots have a chance against Butler, _she thinks. _I just need them delayed a little._

'Sure thing,' comes Harold's reply.

Minerva shuts her phone with a snap. _Merde. Merde, merde, merde. Artemis has done something, I know he has. _She takes the steps two at a time.

Immersed in her worrying, Minerva doesn't notice a very odd-looking couple slip out of an old broom closet and stealthily follow her down the hall. Not even when the taller of the two types a stealthy text message on the go.

'Rite bout room. C u thr.'

* * *

'That's our cue.' Artemis rises from his chair as Minerva leaves. 'Juliet believes Holly's in Minerva's suite. She'll ring when she's sure. But I suggest we head in that direction.'

'Southern corner?'

'Exactly. Juliet marked the room on the floor plan for us.' He pulls the map up on the screen of his mobile as they make for the stairs.

At the foot of the staircase, however, they are met by half a dozen men in security uniforms.

'Excuse me,' says a tall, thin brunette, 'but I'm afraid I'm going to have to detain you for security reasons.'

Butler eyes the six men and sighs. His back really isn't the thing today. It's going to be close.

Meanwhile, Artemis checks his messages.

* * *

Minerva enters the lab, gasping for breath.

'Out of shape, are we?' Holly asks brightly.

Minerva doesn't bother replying as she picks up the abandoned syringe.

'What's with the explosions?' Holly continues. 'Electrical problems?'

'Straighten your arm,' Minerva tells her.

'No,' Holly says.

'Don't be difficult. Straighten your arm.'

'No.'

Minerva shakes the needle in Holly's face. 'I am returning you to your people. Can't you at least be a little bit helpful?'

Holly sneers, 'We both know that's got nothing to do with it.'

'I am giving you back your _life._ Can you really begrudge me my prize?'

'Don't come over all "angel of mercy" on me. Who are you trying to kid? We both know you couldn't give a shit about me. And which prize? The Nobel or Artemis?'

Minerva draws herself up to respond when suddenly she has a change of heart. With vicious enthusiasm, Minerva unties Holly's wrists. 'Here,' she says, taking Holly's hand and forcing the syringe into it, 'do it yourself then! You know it will work, you saw the results of the blood sample. What are you waiting for? Go on, go.'

Holly looks down at the syringe. The liquid is thick, gelatinous. Opal's original magic, captured so long ago, still sparks blue. She looks down at her arm.

Suddenly the room shudders, shaken by another distant explosion.

'_Putain,_' Minerva mutters. Then she smirks, 'Your cavalry has arrived, my dear. Honestly, all the fuss Artemis is putting into coming after you - it's almost as though he doesn't want you to change back. And after _all _that work he's put into finding a cure himself...' she lets the sentence hang.

Holly gives Minerva a withering glare. 'Do you really think I know Artemis so little? He doesn't want me changing anything and that's no secret. I know exactly how much he wants to find a cure - which is not at all - so don't bother playing your silly games. There's nothing you can tell me about Artemis that I don't already know. '

Another explosion rocks the house.

'Well, that's all terribly heart warming but get on with it, would you?' Minerva sneers. 'Or are you afraid of needles?'

'Everyone's afraid of needles,' Holly replies absently, eyes returning to the syringe.

* * *

'Artemis! Dom! God, Dom, a black eye? Talk about amateur. What happened?' Juliet and Mulch skid to a stop to avoid colliding with their partners in crime as all four of them simultaneously turn a corner.

'Getting old, what can I say?' Butler shrugs as he and Juliet soon outstrip the other two, running towards Minerva's rooms.

Juliet _tsk_s.

As they approach the study, Mulch checks the heat sensors again and calls ahead to the Butler siblings, 'She's still in there.'

'Right,' Butler answers. 'You ready to break down a few doors, Juliet?'

'Are you kidding? I'm chomping at the bit here.'

* * *

Holding the syringe in her right hand, Holly looks up, into Minerva's expectant face. Staring straight into the other woman's eyes, Holly pushes the plunger home - emptying the contents of the syringe onto the floor.

Minerva's eyes widen, 'What on -.' But that's as far as she gets before Holly knocks her unconscious.

Undoing the straps on her ankles, Holly rolls Minerva into a corner. Sitting back down, she rests her elbows on her thighs, letting her head hang between her knees. Directly below her, the pool of elfin blood swirls as the magic dissipates into the floor. When, at last, the liquid stops glowing, becoming nothing more than a puddle of muddy red and brown, Holly starts to cry. She curls her arms around her head and sobs for an entire minute.

At the end of the minute she swallows, wipes her eyes with the backs of her hands, and goes over to the desk. Picking up Minerva's laptop, she scrolls through the files open on the desktop. Following them back to the umbrella file, she taps her finger three times on the side of the keyboard, then presses DELETE. Setting down the computer, she picks up the canister of fairy blood from amongst scattered notes and enormous texts.

There's a thumping outside the doors. Holly ignores it. She grasps the lid of the canister in her left hand and begins turning it, trying to force herself to think about what she's losing - just in case she wants to change her mind.

Butler blows in the reinforced doors of Minerva's study just as Holly inverts the canister. Artemis, Juliet and Mulch push through the dust and debris in time to see the last of the blood fall to the ground, droplets spattering Holly's trousers, her shirt, her face. With the backs of her hands she smears blood across her cheeks in an attempt to rub it off. She smiles at them.

Artemis stumbles through the rubble, 'Holly! Holly, are you alright? Are you -' He stops short, taking in Minerva in the corner, the blood on the floor, the strap wrapped around Holly's arm. 'You're still human.' He frowns and reaches to take off the tourniquet.

She holds out her arm complacently, 'Yes.'

The autumn sun is finally rising; its light floods in through the high windows of the lab.

'Why?' Artemis asks, holding the tourniquet between them. They watch each other for a moment.

At last Holly shrugs, stepping forward to drape a comradely arm around his shoulders, 'Because, Arty,' she gestures expansively with her free hand, 'when seen in a certain light ... well, humanity's really not quite so bad.' And then she smiles at him and he realises the full extent of what she's done.

Butler doesn't think he's ever seen Artemis beam before.

'But the formula!' Mulch moves forward, 'That's all warm and fuzzy, but what if you change your mind?'

Holly shakes her head. 'I'm not going to change my mind. I'm either one thing or the other, and I made my choice a long time ago. Besides, I don't want anyone else having to live through what I did. Or any other human seeing that formula.'

Butler reaches forward, cupping her face in one giant hand. He doesn't say anything but his eyes are suspiciously bright. Holly swallows, her own eyes stinging.

Mulch looks away, busying himself with rifling through Minerva's things. Juliet comes up beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

'You okay?' she whispers.

'Yeah, 'course,' comes the gruff reply. But, when she crouches down beside him, he has to smile through tears.

'Hey, our plumbing's always open to you,' she says, shaking his shoulder gently, 'you know that, right?'

The dwarf sighs, covering her hand with one of his hairy ones. 'You're a good kid, Blondie.'

Juliet winks. 'And you're a better dwarf than you like to pretend.'

Artemis meanwhile has taken up Minerva's computer. 'We'll have to clean this out, delete all of her research.' He looks back at Holly, 'If you're sure.'

Holly shakes her head, 'I've already deleted everything. She had it all open. At least, I think it's all gone, I suppose you should probably double check.'

While everyone else is busy, Butler crosses the room to where Minerva is just regaining consciousness. Unnoticed by the others, he picks her up, carrying her into the outer room and laying her on a sofa. She groans quietly, blinking at the bloody sunrise above her.

'Red sky in the morning, sailor's warning,' the girl mumbles, saying the first thing that comes to mind. She shakes her head at her own rambling and focuses on the man beside her. 'Butler,' she sighs. 'It's all over then, if you're here.' She doesn't sound angry, or even disappointed, only tired. Looking out at the sky, she frowns. 'I just... I don't understand... why didn't she take the cure? Isn't that what she wants? She could have gone back to wherever it is she came from.'

'Apparently she doesn't want to go.'

Minerva's pretty face contorts with sudden rage. 'She was right! He doesn't deserve that kind of devotion!' she spits out, sitting up, her anger giving her strength. 'You, her - it's ridiculous. What on earth do you people see in him? He's a thief. Nothing but a charming, brilliant,' she swallows, her chin trembling, 'crook.'

Butler puts his arm around her, not seeing a criminal master mind or a child prodigy, only a sixteen year-old girl swept up in all the passion and misery of her first heartbreak.

'It isn't fair,' she sobs into his shirt. 'He has everything. Couldn't he be generous for once and take me too? We're p-perfect for each other. And she- she- _Mon Dieu, _Butler, this hurts so much - I can't believe how much this hurts,' she gasps.

He nods, rubbing her back and letting her cry everything out.

'Will it always be this painful?' she asks eventually, taking deep, steadying breaths.

'No,' he lies. 'No, it'll get easier. The first time is always the worst.'

She nods, shoulders still shaking. It's another moment before she sits up straight and brushes her hair behind her ears. 'Thank you,' she looks him in the eye. 'And I'm sorry ... I'm sorry I disappointed you. That I ... used you.'

Butler chuckles. 'I work for Artemis - don't worry, I'm used to it.'

Minerva manages a wobbly smile.

Holly, watching unnoticed from the ruins of the doorway, feels, for the first time in her life, sympathy for Minerva Paradizo.

* * *

Artemis frowns out of the window, all the other possible endings to this day running through his head. _Stop torturing yourself,_ he thinks scornfully, leaning back in his seat. Looking down at the Brittany coastline, he shakes his head at his own masochism.

Holly enters the Lear jet cabin from the cockpit. The Butler siblings have told her they're flying, there's no point in arguing, so just get out of their hair. Mulch has locked himself in the toilet, trying not to be ill.

He watches her cross the floor towards him, and his breathing begins to return to normal.

She smiles, coming to sit next to him. Laying a hand on his arm she frowns, 'Artemis, you're stiff as a board. What's wrong with you?'

'Nothing,' he lies.

'Artemis -'

He turns, looking her in the eye. 'This isn't how it was supposed to end, is it?'

'What do you mean? How what is supposed to end?'

'This,' he gestures to her and himself. 'Us. Our friendship. By rights it should have ended in misery.'

'Artemis, what are you talking about?' She curls her legs under herself, reaching to take his hand.

'I was supposed to be mind wiped and you were supposed to be an elf and it was supposed to end.'

She purses her lips. 'Well, yes ... that's how it would have been if everything had gone to plan after Spiro.'

'No, I mean that's how it would have ended in the future. In a month, in a year, a decade; that's how we would have ended.'

'That's not how it'll end now.' She is assertive.

He looks out at the ocean again, silent.

'No,' he shakes his head at length, 'somehow, we finally managed to have a bit of luck.' He looks over at her face next to his. 'Though...' he lets the word hang between them; she knows full well what comes after.

'It was my choice.' She leans over, kissing his forehead, 'Get some sleep, Artemis. I'm not going anywhere.'

His lips twitch. 'I know,' he says. 'And it's hardly a choice, really - you can't do without me.'

'Go to sleep, Artemis, before I take the choice of unconsciousness out of your hands.'

He sighs dramatically and closes his eyes. Taking advantage of his feigned sleep, he lets his head droop onto her shoulder. She clucks her tongue, but doesn't move.


	20. Chapter 20

I know people were thinking this would be an epilogue. Instead: part three! Hurrah! Moving into the last act here, folks.

* * *

Part III

Chapter Twenty: Lucky

If Angeline and Artemis Fowl I are surprised to come down for brunch and find their breakfast room already occupied by various exhausted looking - and mostly unexpected - people, they don't show it.

'Good morning, Mother, Father,' Artemis, dark circles under his eyes, is spreading marmalade on his toast. 'Lovely day, isn't it?'

'Very,' Angeline smiles. 'And how nice to have company for it. Though would anyone mind if I opened the blinds a little more?'

The slatted wooden blinds are almost entirely closed, letting in only faint slits of watery November sun. The room is dim, but Mulch has made sure to sit in its darkest corner.

'Actually, I've got an awful headache,' Juliet lies quickly. 'I'm sorry to be a pain, but I just couldn't take light right now.'

Underneath her tan, Juliet is pale from lack of sleep and, like Artemis, her eyes are underlined in violet. Angeline eyes the group before her, frowning with worry. 'Of course not, Juliet.'

'You lot look terrible,' her husband grins. 'Did you have a good night?'

Holly looks up from her fruit. 'One to remember,' she deadpans. Nodding their heads, her companions chuckle quietly in agreement.

Artemis Senior knows asking for elucidation will only get him a long and involved lie.

Escorted by their nanny the twins arrive, joining the already crowded table.

'What have you been doing?' Myles asks, frowning like his mother. 'It looks like none of you slept.'

'That's because we didn't,' Mulch pipes up from his corner. He rolls his eyes, turning to Artemis, 'Really takes after you, doesn't he, this one?'

Myles and Artemis both purse their lips.

Juliet giggles.

'We were visiting Minerva,' Artemis looks his younger brother in the eye. 'She'd taken several things of mine that I needed back.'

Myles swallows.

Unnoticed by everyone but Angeline, Holly raises a sceptical eyebrow at the possessive pronoun.

This is too much for Artemis Senior: he opens his mouth to ask, but Angeline gives a quick shake of her head and he closes it again, sighing.

* * *

Later that day, Myles stops Holly on the stairs as she returns from the gym.

'Are you alright?' he asks her, his big child-eyes wide.

Holly blinks. 'What do you mean, Myles? Of course I'm alright.'

'No, I mean, did Minerva do something to you?' The boy is smart enough to have put two and two together and come up with the only thing Minerva could have stolen that would cause Artemis to chase after her that same night.

'Oh.' Holly shakes her head, 'No, she didn't do anything to me. Your brother was too fast for her.'

Myles nods, taking this to mean that Artemis has succeeded in curing Holly. 'Will you be leaving us now, then?'

'What?' The woman is baffled. 'Who told you I was leaving?'

The boy frowns. 'Minerva did. She said Artemis was going to cure you because you were different and then you'd ... go.'

Holly stares down at his heart-broken little face. She sighs and, putting a finger under his chin, squats down to his level. 'Minerva had it backwards, Myles. I'm not going anywhere, don't worry.'

'Ever?' he asks.

She laughs. 'Well, I mean, let's put it this way: if I go away, I'll always come back. Is that okay?'

Myles' face is identical to Artemis' when she refuses to live at the Manor. 'I suppose,' he says at length.

Still chuckling, she rises, ruffling his hair. 'Thanks for your permission. I'll see you at dinner, okay?'

'Alright.' He cranes his neck to watch her as she continues up the stairs.

* * *

Artemis is still in his clothes, asleep on top of his duvet.

Holly smiles and, instead of heading straight to the shower, pads over to the bed.

His eyes open as she approaches and he yawns into his sleeve, shaking his head. 'How on earth do you have the energy to jump about like a maniac right now?'

'Well, I wasn't running around flying across the continent in the wee small hours of the morning.'

'No, you were tied to a chair and being threatened with syringes, so the question remains.'

She smoothes back his hair. 'I guess I'm still running off adrenaline. Or maybe it's all of my healthy living coming into its own.'

He harrumphs.

'Did you know,' Holly changes the subject, 'that Minerva told Myles you were trying to cure me and that when you did, I'd leave forever?'

Artemis rolls onto his back, rubbing his face with both hands. 'Did she now? Well, that makes things clearer.'

Holly frowns. 'What things?'

'Nothing important,' he says, playing with the hem of her shirt, making her unconsciously lean closer.

'Right,' her scepticism is plain to hear.

'Honestly,' he says, openly pulling her towards him.

Holly raises her eyebrows, 'Oh, I believe you,' she smirks. 'So much so that I'm going to go have my shower now.' She's off the bed before he can react.

Artemis makes a face. Foiled. 'It really isn't important,' he calls to her as she heads to the bathroom.

He can hear her laughing as she turns on the taps.

* * *

It's three days before Holly and Juliet finally make it back to their flat. In that time Artemis comes up with a myriad of different schemes to keep them at the Manor; not that he has to try very hard; neither of them, especially Holly, are in any hurry to go.

'You know,' Juliet speaks while serving Holly squash soup, 'you could have just stayed.'

'I signed the lease for a year,' Holly reaches for a slice of ciabatta.

Juliet shrugs, sitting down to her own bowl. 'The term's almost over, I'm sure I could find a new student to sublet for Hilary.'

Holly shakes her head. 'I'm staying 'til my lease is done. I like having my own space. Unless, of course, this is a ploy to get me out of here so that Arthur can move in?'

The other woman laughs. 'Not at all. God, we'd need a whole other flat just for his books.' But Juliet's gaze drifts, sliding out of focus as she thinks.

Holly smirks. 'Right, and that would just be terrible.'

'Shush, you.' Juliet snaps back to the present.

* * *

In the end, it's Artemis (and, by extension, Butler) who moves out first; buying, that April, a loft apartment near St. Stephen's Green. He leaves his post at the university at the end of Trinity term, becoming a guest lecturer there instead of a permanent one. Everyone - especially his students - feels that this is for the best.

The year passes quietly enough. Christmas dinner, and all of its accompanying meats, is as awkward as everyone had hoped it wouldn't be but knew it would. A few months later Holly is nearly crushed by an errant tractor when she goes to Kansas to arrest a gang of dwarves stealing cows from local farmers. Around Easter, she and Artemis don't speak to each other for two weeks over something trivial that neither can remember at the end of the fortnight. N°1 and Mulch come up to spend Beltane with their favourite humans and they all go down to the beach once the sun has set, picnicking and watching N°1 try to catch seagulls.

In the summer Artemis begins working on Riemann's Hypothesis. He debates whether or not, when he arrive at the proof, he will make his results known. The ability to bypass any and every number code, as he believes the proof will do, is worth slightly more than a measly one million American dollars, after all; especially considering their recent fall in value. Of course, that's without factoring in Holly's fury when she finds out what he's doing.

As the summer progresses, however, Artemis does have to admit that, so far, she has stuck to her word to accept his less-than-saintly moments without comment. In August he begins an illegal trade in soy products with a friend of Doodah Day's and, when she figures out what he's up to, she barely bats an eyelash.

'Just don't let Trouble catch you,' she says, and returns to frowning over her income tax forms.

Occasionally, her unwavering acceptance makes him feel slightly guilty. Usually, he assuages this by taking her somewhere exotic.

Then again, stealing countless billions from anyone and everyone on the planet is slightly larger than harmless unauthorized imports.

But what if he stole billions and then donated half of them to numerous charities? Think of the advances the human race could make if Exxon had a few billion less and the World Wildlife Fund a few more. Surely she would agree to that?

At any rate, he's a few years from proving the hypothesis – he can cross that bridge when he gets to it.

As to the question of Holly's living arrangements, it's never really addressed. One night, during the last month of her lease with Juliet, she comes to have dinner with Butler and Artemis and is still there three weeks later. During this time Butler and Juliet surreptitiously begin to move her things into the apartment.

'Wait,' Holly stands in the walk-in closet, two weeks after the dinner, 'I don't remember bringing the Matt Doodys over. Or my trainers, for that matter. How did they get in here?'

Still in bed, Artemis shrugs.

Not hearing his shrug, Holly pokes her head back into the room. 'Artemis, are you having Butler bring my things over?'

'No,' he tells her, propping himself on his elbows.

She narrows her eyes.

'Honestly,' he says, lying back down. Holly clicks her tongue and Artemis asks, 'Why are you getting up now, anyway? We've nowhere to go.' Having Holly around all the time is making him indolent.

She laughs. 'If I don't, we'll stay in bed all day.'

'I fail to see the problem with that. Look, it's even raining; why bother going anywhere in such miserable weather?' He gestures towards the floor to ceiling windows. The panoramic view of Dublin stretching out before them is grey, berated by a sudden summer storm. Far below, the still green treetops of St. Stephen's poke through the mist, made all the brighter by their dreary surroundings.

Holly laughs. 'Fine. But only until noon. After that I'm out of here.'

'Of course,' Artemis replies, without believing a word of it.

* * *

'Minerva phoned today,' Butler says one September night, as they sit down to dinner.

Artemis raises an eyebrow.

'She's in Cork with her father and brother. Wanted to know if we would like to have lunch.'

'Why on earth would we want to do that?' Artemis asks, with only the slightest emphasis on 'we'.

Butler shrugs. 'It's been a while since...'

'I think we should go,' Holly says.

Artemis looks at her, his surprise evident. 'You hate Minerva.'

Holly plays with her spaghetti. 'She's a rich, spoiled brat, but she's not so bad, really.'

'Have you forgotten last November already?'

'No, obviously not. It's just...' Holly shrugs, looking at Butler. 'Look – I can understand why she did it. It wasn't out of greed, it... She wanted your attention, that's all.'

Artemis blinks. 'She wanted a Nobel Prize.'

'Well, yes, that too. But that wasn't really all of it, was it?'

Artemis raises his hands in a gesture of confused acceptance. 'Well, since you both seem so anxious to go...'

'I'll tell her we're coming then, shall I?' Butler asks, smiling.

'If you must.'

* * *

Holly comes to help Butler as he empties the dishwasher. Artemis is typing away in the study. The sun is sinking below the city skyline, reflecting red and gold off the windows of the flat.

'You really want to see her again, don't you?' Holly asks, as she stretches to put away the plates.

'Minerva?'

'Mm.'

'Yes,' Butler sorts silverware, 'I do.'

'It's hard isn't it?' Holly grabs a handful of spoons, 'Always having to forgive and forgive and forgive.'

Butler nods. 'Do you ever find that you start to hate yourself a little for being so pathetic?'

'No,' Holly shakes her head. 'Forgiveness gets a bad rap in situations like this; it takes a lot more guts than people give us credit for. It takes courage to bare your throat to someone who has bitten you before.'

Butler eyes the tiny woman before him. 'You've changed your tune, Holly Short.'

She smiles. 'I have, haven't I? Which isn't to say that there aren't going to be times when I hate his guts; I'm sure I'm going to spend a good portion of my human life yelling myself hoarse. But what I'm _trying_ to say is that I - we - shouldn't feel bad about it.'

He chuckles, 'Our roles certainly have reversed.'

Holly smiles. 'I wonder who's the luckier of the two?'

* * *

Minerva, though oblivious to the distress she's causing, is just as anxious about lunch. She catches herself twisting the hem of her shirt in her hands and forces them to lie still on her legs. Just then, the door of Restaurant Patrick Guilbaud opens and in they walk. Her hands return to her shirt.

'Minerva,' Butler moves forward, knowing he will have to play peacemaker throughout meal.

'Butler,' her face lights up as he opens his arms, though her smile wavers slightly. Without hesitation, she walks into his embrace. 'It's good to see you,' she murmurs into his shoulder, hugging him tight. Behind him, she can see Artemis, his eyes hooded and cold. She watches Holly as frowns, elbowing him in the ribs.

Butler steps back, pulling out Minerva's chair for her to sit back down. She knows better than to move forward for a greeting from Artemis, but still has to swallow her disappointment as she sits.

'Hey,' Holly sits next to the blonde; Artemis sits across the table, as far away as possible. 'How are you doing these days, Minerva?'

Minerva looks at the other woman, confused. Of all the people to be kind to her, Holly Short is the last person she would have expected. 'I'm fine. Keeping busy. I've studying for another Masters degree in 20th century Latin American Literature. A lot of Neruda, that sort of thing, you know.'

Holly doesn't know, but makes an effort. 'Are you enjoying it?'

'Oh yes,' Minerva smiles despite herself. 'I've never really made as much time for art and literature as I should have and Neruda... well, he writes so beautifully.'

'Do you speak Spanish, then?'

'Yes, I learnt when I was twelve.'

'Right,' says Holly, and looks to Butler for help. Surreptitiously, she kicks Artemis under the table. He remains mute.

Butler, however, is more than capable of keeping the conversation afloat. His efforts, with the occasional comment from Holly, keep the lunch going smoothly. Or, at least, as smoothly as it can be hoped to go with a dead-white statue lording it over one end of the table, oozing cold and disdain. Every once in a while, Holly gives him another kick for good measure, but Artemis may as well be a statue for all the response he shows.

At last, the food is done and even Butler is beginning to feel the weight of Artemis' perverse silence.

'It's been good to see you, Minerva,' he says as they rise from the table.

'You too. Really, I –' she pauses, fiddling with her hem again. 'Thank you, Butler,' she says at last, looking him in the eyes. She is perfectly aware that he is the only person at the table who, currently at least, genuinely cares for her.

Holly puts a hand on the other woman's shoulder. 'You should drop by the flat the next time you're in town. It's got a wonderful view and that way you two could play chess all day long,' she smiles.

'That would be lovely,' Minerva says in a small voice.

Holly can feel Artemis' eyes jabbing her in the back. She ignores him. He briefly considers passing a snide comment about inviting Minerva to the wedding but knows that not only is this vastly premature, but that it will get him more than just a subtle kick under the table.

He opts instead for, 'Shall we go, then?'

Butler and Holly exchange a look and, waving to Minerva, follow Artemis out onto the pavement.

* * *

Once safely in the car, Holly lets him have it.

'Artemis, what under the earth got into you? I have _never_ seen such rudeness from _anyone _in my entire life!'

Butler, knowing this argument had been imminent, has refused to let her drive, so she sits twisted around in the front passenger seat, glaring at Artemis over her headrest.

'Really? I have.' Artemis looks her straight in the eyes. 'From you, when we met Minerva at that conference in London. Or had you conveniently forgotten your behaviour then?'

'That's not the same. I have a reason to be rude to her, you don't! She's your friend.'

'_You_ have a reason to be rude to her, but _I_ don't? She kidnapped you!'

'Isn't that supposed to be my line? And might I remind you that once you _let _her kidnap me.' Holly is even angrier because she knows he's got a very good point.

'To save N°1,' Artemis bites back. 'Or would you rather have left him there? To be subjected to goodness knows what?'

'Don't talk to me about subjecting fairies to goodness knows what, Artemis Fowl!' Holly spits. 'That's hardly a subject that will do you any favours.'

Artemis' face is pinched and closed. 'Stop dragging up the past, Holly. That was years ago and you know perfectly well that I've changed. Drastically.'

'Yes, well, maybe so has she. But what, only the great Artemis Fowl II deserves a second chance?'

'You're being an utter hypocrite. You were frightful to her before - hardly giving her a second chance then, were you? Don't try to pretend to be a saint, Holly Short, because you aren't.'

'At least I'm not a monster,' Holly snaps back.

Artemis recoils as if slapped. For a brief second his eyes are wide with hurt, but then he turns his face away and, silent, watches the city flow past his window.

Holly faces forward with an angry 'Ugh!', swiping viciously at her treacherous eyes. She hates it when Artemis reminds her of how cruel he can be, and it's that, more than anything else, that has made her angry. She takes a deep breath and slouches in her seat. _You made a choice, _she tells herself, _and you knew exactly what it entailed. So grow up and deal with it. He is always going to be that person. Besides, he's right; you were hardly lovely to her yourself at the conference. You're hardly being lovely right _now._ You can't blame him for being angry. _

Her head falls back. _Frond, it's even worse when he's right._

Butler doesn't say anything, but thinks that he's lucky that at least he's been spared from the pain of things like this.

* * *

Holly sits on her hands on the edge of the bed and looks at her toes. Artemis is still in his study, clearly wanting to ensure sure she's fast asleep before he comes to bed. She pulls a face and stands up.

The living room is dim, lit only by the streetlights through the glass walls. She pads across, heading towards the sliver of yellow peeking out from below the door of the study.

Entering without knocking, she drags a chair over to his desk and sits down cross-legged. His profile is perfectly composed as he studiously ignores her.

She sighs. 'I'm sorry, Artemis. It was a terrible thing to say and, at any rate, you were right – I've been horrible to her too.'

Silence except for the sounds of the keyboard.

Holly frowns. 'I mean it, Artemis, I'm sorry.'

More typing.

'Look, what else is there to say? It's not like you're some poor victim here, you behaved as badly as I did to her.' Holly clenches her fists in her lap, fighting to keep her temper down. 'I'm _sorry_, alright?'

He checks something in one of the many books beside him.

She growls quietly. 'What else do you _want_, Artemis?'

Artemis chuckles, turning to her at last. 'To see how long it took for you to get angry again.'

Holly stares at him. She drops her head into her hands, groaning. 'I hate you,' she says, laughing as she stands.

'With good reason,' he replies and moves to let her join him in his seat.

'Next time, just be a bit nicer, okay?' Holly says sometime later. 'For Butler's sake.'

'Butler?' Artemis frowns, puzzled.

'They're friends, Artemis. He cares for her. And so do you.'

'You don't though, so why does it matter to you?'

Holly sighs, pulling away. 'I guess... I just... I can understand how she feels. I can sympathise with her, even if I don't like her.'

'How annoying,' he tugs her back. 'All that empathy will get you, Holly, is obnoxious house guests.'

She moves closer, laughing.


	21. Chapter 21

And the anti-climax continues! Watch as I try to write a wedding while not actually wanting to write a wedding. And, to answer most people's question, there's still a few more hcapters to go, I'm afraid, we're not quite done yet. Nearly!

Props to ilex-ferox, who makes sure I don't look quite so much like a total idiot as I would usually.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One: All Grown Up

'Well,' Juliet looks around her empty flat, 'this is it, I guess. It's been a bloody long four years but, Mexico, I'm coming home!'

Holly grins at her friend as the blonde pushes a packing crate out of the way of the door. 'You're sure you have to leave so soon?'

'You bet. I love you guys, but the rain here gets me down. I want sunshine! Mostly so that I can mock Arthur for all the sunburn he's gonna get.'

The man in question rubs his freckled nose and glares. 'Thanks, Juliet. Really.'

She winks at him as all three head back outside.

* * *

Waving as Juliet and Arthur pass through security, Holly turns to her companions and says, 'I can't believe she's actually going through with that school idea. I'm so proud of her.'

Butler smiles, watching the blonde ponytail until it disappears from sight. 'Me too. And Arthur will make a good teacher, I think. Much better than Juliet would.'

Holly laughs, 'Tell me about it. It's a good thing she's only handling the administrative half or there'd be a lot of traumatised orphans running around Yucatán.'

'But can Mexico handle that much women's liberation all at once?' Artemis wonders out loud.

'Here's hoping. Because, let's face it, they don't have much of a choice,' Holly grins, hopping down from her perch on the metal railing. She punches Butler in the arm, 'Come on Big Man, I'll buy you lunch!' And with that, she runs off down the hall.

Butler sighs, shaking his head. 'I just don't have the energy to keep up with her these days.'

'You're better off than I am,' Artemis replies. 'I've _never_ had it.'

The huge man laughs, briefly hugging his not-so-young charge with one arm. 'We'd better get moving before she leaves without us.'

'Oh God, you let her keep the keys?'

* * *

The phone is ringing as Holly enters the flat, a canvas grocery bag in each hand. 'Aw, d'Arvit,' she mutters, dropping the groceries and jumping for the phone. 'Hello?' Holding the phone between her cheek and shoulder, she slides her bag off her arm, opening it to pull out a bundle of sunflowers.

'Holly? It's Angeline. How are you?'

'Oh, I'm great, just walking in the door as usual!' Carrying the flowers to the kitchen, Holly rummages for a vase. 'Yourself?'

'Wonderful, wonderful,' Angeline laughs. 'Is Artemis there, by any chance?'

'No, I'm afraid not. He and Butler have gone down to Brown Thomas.' Successful in her quest, Holly fills the vase with water, cramming the sunflowers into it en masse. Fondly, she rubs one of the petals between her fingers. Even the colour gold attracts the People.

'Oh, well, it doesn't matter; I'm calling for all three of you, really. I was wondering if you would like to come over to pick the last of the blackberries this evening. We've been doing it a lot this year and I thought that you, at least, might like it. And I'm sure the twins would love to see all of you. Really, it's just an excuse to have everyone at the Manor for once.'

Holly is silent for a moment.

'Holly?'

'Oh, sorry, Angeline,' she laughs, 'I was trying to picture Artemis picking blackberries but I couldn't quite manage it.'

The other woman laughs. 'No, I suppose not, but do drag him along. I feel as though it's been ages since we've all been at home together.'

'Of course I will, I'll call him now. We've nothing planned for tonight, so I can't see why we couldn't come. That'd be lovely.'

'Around four, let's say? Then you can all stay for dinner.'

'Wonderful,' Holly puts the vase on the coffee table.

* * *

'My mother wants us to do _what_?' Artemis' incredulous voice issues from her mobile.

'You don't have to pick anything, Artemis, keep your hair on. That's for the rest of us mere mortals.'

Butler says something indistinct in the background. Artemis harrumphs in response.

'What did he say?' Holly asks.

'That I will nonetheless enjoy the 'fruits of others' labour.'

Holly laughs. 'He knows you too well.'

Artemis sighs and she can picture his disgruntled expression. 'Do you want us to pick you up?' he asks.

'No, I'll take the bike and meet you there.'

He doesn't say anything to that, but she can hear his pursed lips.

* * *

Holly brings her motorbike, still shiny and red from years of loving care, to a gravel-spewing stop in front of the Manor. A few feet away, Artemis heaves a long-suffering sigh.

'You're still driving that beast?' Artemis Senior laughs, as she slides off her helmet.

She grins fondly at the bike. 'You bet. It's almost as good as flying.'

The front door opens and Beckett and Myles arrive on the steps, bickering. When they catch sight of the latest arrival, however, both nine-year-olds forget about the other and run down to greet her.

'_Holly_,' Beckett hollers, jumping the bottom step, a football under his arm, 'you _have _to come play football with me. Father can't, our Butler won't and Myles is _awful_.' He grabs her by the hand, tugging her after him

Myles wrinkles his nose. 'I'm not awful; I just can't see the point in playing such a ridiculous game.'

Holly digs her heels into the gravel, to keep herself from being dragged away by Beckett. Laughing, she ruffles Myles' hair. 'How's the cancer research going, Myles? Have you - okay, okay, stop pulling, Beckett, one second!' She laughs as the only, in her eyes, sane member of the Fowl family yanks her onto the grass.

'It's coming along.' Myles shrugs after her.

'Slowly but surely?' Holly calls over her shoulder.

'Something like that,' he says, watching as she and Beckett begin to play.

'Oh good, we're all here,' Angeline arrives at last, carrying several large baskets. 'Ah, I see Beckett has kidnapped Holly already.' Her eyes drift to her other twin. 'Myles, darling, would you come help me carry these pails?'

'Of course, Mother.' A heartbeat later, he tears his eyes away from the footballers and dutifully returns to the steps. As he takes a basket from his mother, he looks up, meeting his older brother's eyes. _Well, _Myles thinks, as he has many times before, _at least she's not leaving us. _Myles sighs, and tries not to listen when his father begins making his usual round of unsubtle references to marriage. Yet another thing he and Artemis have in common.

* * *

'Artemis,' Holly rolls onto her side, propping her head in her hand, 'how old am I again?'

'Pardon?'

'How old am I supposed to be? I can't remember.' She frowns in the dim light of the windows.

Artemis pauses before answering, 'Twenty four, nearly twenty five now. Juliet's been gone almost three years.'

'Twenty five again?' Holly rolls onto her back. 'It's feels like millennia since I've been twenty-five.'

'Only decades, I'm afraid.' He fingers the sheets.

She eyes him speculatively. 'Yes, Artemis?'

He laughs. 'Holly,' he pauses, frowning, '_would_ you marry me?'

Holly blinks, then pulls a face at his emphasis. 'What's with the use of the subjunctive? Shouldn't it be 'will you marry me'?'

'Oh, I know you _will_, I'm asking if you _would_.'

'What's the difference?'

'Whether or not you would like to.'

'Well, seeing as you know that I will, why bother asking would I like to? Isn't that implied by that the fact that I will?'

'Not at all.'

'I can't believe you just turned a marriage proposal into a grammar lesson and/or a threat.'

'Oh, I wasn't proposing, I was simply curious as to what your answer would be.'

She rolls over, bracing herself on her elbows and looking down into his face. 'Let me get this straight. You know, without asking, that I will marry you – a fact which, by the way, I have yet to confirm – but nonetheless you ask me if I_ would _marry you, a question you promptly turn into a session of grammatical hairsplitting, simply to know what my answer would be and not because you particularly want to marry me?'

'I never said that,' Artemis objects.

'Which part?'

'That I didn't want to marry you. Other than that, however, yes, you've grasped the essentials of it.'

'Oh good,' Holly blows out her fringe in exasperation. 'And do you want to marry me, Artemis?'

'Well, why don't you get yourself a special licence and find out.'

Holly lets her head drop onto his chest so that he can't see her smile as she groans in frustration.

'I'll marry you, Artemis Fowl, when you figure out a way to have all of _my _friends attend the wedding ceremony alongside all of _your _family.'

Artemis scoffs. 'Is that all? I didn't realise I was marrying a woman so easily pleased.'

'Oh, _now_ you use the indicative, do you?'

* * *

In the end, it's N°1 who solves the fairy/human attendance issue. When Artemis approaches him with the problem, the little imp scoffs, much as Artemis had, at the simplicity of the question.

'Obviously I can arrange that. I've sent you back in time and you're asking me if I could perform a little camouflage? Do you have any idea what these fingers can _do_? I'm insulted, Artemis, I really am.' N°1 pauses, a finger on his chin. 'But, there'll be a price.'

Artemis raises his eyebrows.

'I get to be best man.'

The man shakes his head. 'Butler's best man.'

'Aw, c'mon, Artemis. Please? How many people do you know who've had all powerful demon warlocks for their best man? Seriously, now.'

'I would, N°1, but it was decided a long time ago. I can hardly go back on my word.' Artemis stretches the truth.

'Why not?' the imp asks.

* * *

'What do you think of this fabric, Holly? Or this one? I'm leaning towards the satin, myself, but...' Angeline holds out two samples of cloth to Holly.

Holly frowns at the bits of white material before her. 'Angeline, I, uh, well... why do you keep showing me white fabric?'

Angeline blinks. 'Because your dress will be white.' She pauses, then adds, 'Won't it?'

It's Holly's turn to blink. 'White? Why would it be white? They're usually gold, aren't they?'

'_Gold?_' Angeline repeats. Then comprehension dawns. 'Gold is what the People get married in?'

'Well, the females at least,' Holly nods. 'You wear... white? Why?'

'Why gold?'

'We love gold. It's beautiful, it's long-lasting, it's pure; it's a symbol of prosperity, good luck and happiness. What more could you want? Why white?'

Angeline swallows. 'Well, it's a symbol of purity - of innocence. It was, traditionally, to show that the bride was still a virgin.'

Holly raises an eyebrow. 'Would you mind terribly if we went with gold?'

The other woman shakes her head. 'Of course not! It's your wedding, Holly.'

Looking over at the stacks of books and invitations and plans that cover Angeline's desk, Holly thinks, _You could have fooled me._

* * *

'No, Mother. Small ceremony. Large reception. The Von Martens can come to the reception.'

Angeline sighs. 'Well who _is _coming to the ceremony, then? So far it's only you two, Butler, Juliet, Arthur, myself, your father and the twins; that's hardly a wedding. Never mind which, why are we using the family chapel? Why not Christchurch? That old chapel has been deconcecrated for years, you know, something about your great-great-uncle needing storage space for illegal rum, or something.'

'It was for opium actually, Mother, and I do know - the fact that it's deconcecrated is exactly why we're using it. Foaly, Caballine, Trouble, Mulch, Vinyáya, N°1 and Qwan are going to be in attendance, you see. Mulch may also bring his partner, but I'm not sure. At any rate, Doodah doesn't take up much space. But the People don't ... enjoy concecrated earth.'

'Oh. Well why didn't you tell me there were fairies coming?' Angeline hastily jots something on her notepad. 'But how on earth are we going to – with your father and the twins?'

'N°1 is coming up with something.'

'Oh good.' Angeline taps her pen thoughtfully against her lips, 'Do we know who's giving Holly away yet?'

'I believe she'll be doing that herself.'

'Don't be silly, dearest. She needs someone to give her away.'

'Why? She's all she has.'

'It's tradition, Arty.'

'So is a white dress.'

'Artemis! You know you're not allowed to look at the dress before the wedding!'

Artemis puts his hands on his mother's shoulders. 'Don't worry, Mother, I didn't. Holly told me about it. Everything is going to be fine.'

'Of course it is, this is going to be the most extraordinary wedding Ireland's never seen.'

'They'll see the reception, and that's all anyone really cares about anyway.'

His mother laughs.

* * *

Juliet looks critically at her reflection in the mirror, fingering the green fabric of her dress.

Holly laughs. 'What do you think?'

'That I'm very lucky to have such a practical bride. Just think of the awful dresses some bridesmaids get stuck with. Ugh! This way, if there's some kind of disaster – and let's face it, this is you and Artemis we're talking about, so chances are good – at least I can run away.'

'You're just happy I talked Angeline into letting you have a short skirt.'

'You know me too well. Anyway, you're not exactly trailing flounces either.'

'Much to Angeline's dismay. If it wasn't for the fact that Doody designed it, I doubt she would have let me get away with something so untraditional.'

'Ah, Angeline. Bless her, she does love a good dress.'

* * *

'I can't _believe _this,' Holly mutters, tugging at the skirt of her wedding dress. Juliet slaps her hand away from the fabric.

'Can't believe what?'

'I'm nervous.'

'You're getting married, of course you're nervous.'

'But it's just so ridiculous. It's not like I wasn't going to stay with him anyway, so why should I be nervous? I haven't had nerves this bad since... since... Frond, I don't know, that time Abbott nearly killed us all? No, not even then, then I was just frustrated.'

Juliet laughs. 'It's normal. Everyone's nervous before they get married.'

'How would you know? You've never married!'

'No, but it's just, you know, common knowledge.'

Holly lets out a disgruntled sigh. 'She can face down man-eating trolls with composure but can she walk ten metres without passing out? Not looking too likely, here. Frond, I am so glad I don't have a train: I would fall flat on my face.'

Juliet watches her anxious friend and chuckles.

* * *

Artemis fiddles with his cuff links.

'Cut that out, you're making me nervous,' Foaly whispers from behind him. The centaur's conspicuous legs have been magicked into a wheel chair by N°1; Foaly looks entirely human.

'Making _you _nervous? _I'm _the one getting married here.'

'Does this look like a face that cares? Leave your cuff links alone or I'm going to send you the mother of all computer viruses.'

'You wouldn't dare. I'd decimate your network.'

'Oh-ho? Cocky little Mud Boy, aren't we?'

'Better that than a talking donkey.'

'Ooh, ouch. That hurts, Arty, that really does.'

'You are possibly the worst best man imaginable, Foaly. You're supposed to be reassuring me, not insulting me.'

Butler's role in the wedding has been rearranged, leaving Foaly and N°1 to fight it out between them for best man. Foaly's triumph is pure luck, having narrowly won 27 out 52 rounds of rock, paper, scissors.

'You'd see straight through me if I tried to reassure you. It wouldn't help distract you at all.'

'Oh yes? And antagonizing me will?'

'You bet. She's coming in now.'

'_What_?' Artemis whips his head around to face the opening doors. Foaly smirks. A job well done.

* * *

'I could've given myself away you know, Butler,' Holly whispers as they enter the Fowl Manor chapel. 'I'm twice your age, this whole thing is absurd.'

'Well, you two always have been a bit heavy on the irony,' he replies. 'But look at it from my perspective. I get to walk calmly up the aisle with a pretty woman on my arm instead of trying to pacify a terrified, not to mention crotchety, groom.

Holly snickers.

* * *

'Well, Artemis, what do you think?' Holly asks, sitting in the back of the Bentley, smoothing down her skirt.

'That I'm very glad you never thought of using your motorbike for the wedding car.'

'What makes you think I didn't think about it?' she asks, raising an eyebrow.

'Then I'm very glad you were good enough not to mention it to me,' Artemis replies, gallantly.

'Yes, you're terribly lucky,' Holly sniffs, putting her nose in the air and clasping her hands primly on her knees. 'You've married an incredibly good woman.'

'Unfortunately for her,' he smirks.

'Tell me about it,' Holly's posture once more reverts to a relaxed sprawl. 'But that's not really what I meant when I asked what you thought.'

'Well, what did you mean? Did I like the flowers? Do I think it went off alright? Do I like your dress? Am I planning to have venison or salmon for dinner?'

'All of the above. Though, if you eat either of those things you can kiss yourself tonight,' Holly wrinkles her nose.

'The flowers were lovely, it went off as I expected it go off – perfectly, like all of mother's parties. And you look _stunning_ - so may I eat salmon for dinner?'

She laughs and holds out her arms to him.

* * *

Life goes on as normal. Or, at least as normal as life with the Fowls ever has been. Artemis continues to be criminal. Holly continues to forgive or, at least, turn a blind eye. Occasionally, they fight, sometimes for weeks. If things get really bad, Holly will pack a suitcase and vanish for a few days. But she always comes back the morning Artemis plans to set out after her.

Once, however, things get so out of hand that Holly - slamming the front door in Artemis' cool, composed face - swears she's had it. She finds a field job with a linguistic anthropology professor, packs a bag, and moves to South America to study an indigenous tribe deep in the Amazon rainforest.

Five months into her six month contract, Holly is squatting next to two other women, helping them prepare dinner. Her hair has grown out shaggy and unkempt and both her ears have been pierced with long, wicked-looking bone carvings. Her employer is impressed by her ability, not to mention willingness, to integrate herself with the community and its customs. Never has he seen someone throw themselves into an utterly foreign environment with such vigour – it borders on violence.

Holly meanwhile is doing her best to erase every trace of Artemis from her life; including all of herself that would be recognizable to him.

So there she is, barefoot on the dark earth, when out of the forest, like a god out of myth, comes a tall, thin man. His pale face is a striking contrast to the black of his perfectly combed hair and his impeccable Brioni suit. The villagers, the professor and Holly all gape.

The professor steps forward, 'Er, excuse me, sir, are you in need of assistance? I'm afraid you're miles away from Rio.'

'I am perfectly aware,' replies the man in cool, aristocratic English, 'that Rio is nine hundred and seventy-three miles south-east of here. And no, I am not in need of assistance, thank you - at least, not from you.'

The professor blinks. 'Um, well, if you don't mind me asking,' the professor is acutely aware that he doesn't, and never will, look as well dressed as the man standing before him, 'just how, exactly, did you get up here? The closest road is hundreds of miles away. Not to mention that the villagers don't let just anyone wander through here.'

The man smiles, showing all of his perfectly white teeth. The professor shivers, reminded of a vampire movie he saw as a child. 'Don't worry, Professor Dalvidas, I am not just anyone.'

Professor Dalvidas gapes at the use of his name and Holly decides that enough is enough. 'Quit frightening him, Artemis. You're not twelve anymore.'

The man raises one delicate eyebrow. Holly notices he's thinner. 'You're hardly one to lecture me on immaturity, Holly.'

'You know this man?' Dalvidas turns in shock to his promising young researcher. The contrast between the dark, sinewy girl in her dirty clothes and this pale, elegant spectre is nearly absurd.

'I'm her husband,' the man replies.

Dalvidas is now one hundred percent sure he's dreaming.

Holly steps forward, letting Artemis get an eyeful of her new wardrobe.

Artemis sighs. 'You know I hate it when you grow your hair out,' he says plaintively.

'Did Butler bring you up here?' Holly asks, ignoring his comment.

'More or less; we borrowed a solar-powered hovercraft from a friend. They're incredibly quiet. You could be standing right beside one and never hear a thing. We're moored on the river, Butler's waiting there.'

'You'd best not keep him, then,' Holly crosses her arms.

'Well, it's not really up to me, is it?'

'What on earth are you talking about, Artemis? It's entirely up to you.'

'Don't play dumb, it's never suited either of us. Get your things and we'll go.'

'Artemis,' Holly's hands clench into fists, 'I don't know if it has escaped your notice but we are standing in the middle of the Amazon rainforest. How far away do I need to go before you realise that I _don't want to see you?_'

Artemis snorts. 'Well, you'll certainly have to do better than this. Seriously, Holly, South America? That's hardly a challenge when you think about everywhere else we've been. Try the Cretaceous next time.'

Holly makes a wordless growl of rage in the back of her throat. 'You can't just show up here, out of the blue, in the middle of literally nowhere, and expect me to come home! Do you even remember why I left?'

'No,' Artemis readily admits. 'Do you?'

'You pissed me off. Again. That's why.'

'It was a silly argument that got blown out of proportion, as they always do, and you simply overreacted,' Artemis shrugs, as though wives running away to the other side of the planet to live with jungle tribes is merely an occupational hazard of domestic bliss. 'Be honest - you can't remember why that argument started either.'

'Okay. Fine. So I can't remember.' Holly marches up to him, taking hold of his perfectly pressed lapels in both hands. 'But do you know why our silly arguments always get blown out of proportion, Artemis? Because there are so many bigger issues between us that we never talk about. And the only way for us to express just how infuriated we are by these other, more important, things, is to lose it over the smaller ones. If not, we'd just go crazy!' She eyes him for a moment. 'Crazi_er_,' she amends.

He puts his manicured hands over the top of her dry, dusty ones. 'We _have_ talked about the bigger issues. I am what I am, Holly. If you weren't so impossibly _moral _-'

'Don't blame this on me! You're the criminal, for Frond's sake.' Reverting to Gnommish oaths in her frustration, she tightens her hands around the cloth of his jacket and shakes him. But she doesn't move away.

'Yes,' he says, unflinching, 'but you knew that long before you married me.'

'Your father became a good man for your mother.'

'Do you want me to become my father?' Artemis raises an eyebrow. 'Admit it - I'm much more interesting as I am.'

Holly bites her tongue. He's right, of course.

'You don't need to be ashamed of it,' his voice softens and one of his hands comes up to brush her cheek. She breaks away before she can be sucked in. But she misses him as soon as she's let go; she wonders how she ever managed to get so far from him in the first place.

'My contract isn't up yet,' she says abruptly, 'I've got another month left.'

'I'm sure I can sort that out,' Artemis smiles, sensing victory.

'Uh-uh,' Holly shakes her head. 'I've worked hard here. And, though I may love one, _I_ am not a cheat, nor a liar, nor a thief- '

'I do not _cheat_-' Artemis begins indignantly.

Holly holds up a hand. 'Artemis, for once, just shut up. My point is: I'm not going before my contract finishes. So, you can leave without me now or you can stay and leave with me in a month.'

'Or I could go and come back,' Artemis points out.

Holly shakes her head. 'If you go, I'll be long gone before you get back. And I'll do it properly this time. You know I can. Those are your choices.'

Artemis stares at her, then past her - at the village, at the villagers (still utterly confused), at the dirt and the half-feral dogs and the scanty huts.

'That's not really a choice,' he points out.

'It would have been plenty of choice for you when we first met.'

He grimaces, 'If only I were still so lucky.'

Holly watches him, terrified as to what he will decide.

Suddenly, he flips open a phone, pressing speed dial.

'We don't get reception up-' begins Dalvidas, cutting himself short at one withering look from Artemis.

'Butler? Yes, she's here. Yes, obviously, she's fine. Yes, she's in excellent spirits, unfortunately. I'm afraid we're going to be staying a little longer than planned and-' Artemis pauses, listening to Butler speak. 'Mosquito nets? Iodine? You brought – you _knew_ she'd do something ridiculous like this, didn't you? No, I'm afraid I made the mistake of giving her sanity the benefit of the doubt. What do you mean – of course not! How on _earth_ should I have foreseen something this absurd? Not at all- no! Oh, very well. And could you at least _try_ not to sound so thrilled about this?' Artemis snaps the phone shut. 'Butler pre-empted your insanity apparently. He's going to need help unloading.'

'Oh no, we aren't bringing in any gadgetry here. This is a delicate cultural environment. There can be no intrusions from the outside world if we're to properly study this fascinating-'

'_You're _a cultural disturbance,' Artemis interrupts. 'Please, calm down. I've had a degree in anthropology since the age of nine; I was too young at the time to realise that it is perhaps the most useless degree in existence. However, I do know how to conduct research. The villagers have already been supplied with mosquito nets,' he waves at the dirty white nets, hanging from the ceiling of each hut, 'and I doubt if you yourself are not also treating your water with iodine.'

Dalvidas shrinks, 'Well, if that's all.'

'Unfortunately, yes, for the most part,' Artemis glowers.

Holly shoves Artemis to one side, 'Stop terrorizing my boss. Where's the hovercraft? Butler's way too old to be clambering around in the jungle on his own.'

'Don't let him hear you say that,' Artemis grumbles, 'I haven't heard him get so excited since that time you and he "haunted" Arno Blunt.'

Holly smiles fondly at the memory.

One month later, after she has bid a tearful farewell to the villagers and she, Artemis and Butler are starting off in the still-borrowed hovercraft, Artemis leans over to Holly and whispers, 'We were arguing about whether or not to paint the bedroom.'

And she remembers, once again, why she loves her husband.


	22. Chapter 22

I'd just like to say that I really, really love Butler.

And that this chapter is brought to you with the grammatical support of ilex-ferox (it's like we're PBS!).

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Two: Normal

_He lies in bed and stares at his ceiling._

_She watches him without speaking._

'_Why is it that nearly everyone I love will have died twice by the time my life ends?' he asks at last. _

_She sighs. 'Because, unlike Coral's, your life has been anything but normal.'_

_He turns to look her in the eye. 'Is it a life he could have been proud of?'_

_She nods, running her fingers over his face. 'Nearly always,' she replies, smiling a little._

_He swallows, reaching for her. 'Thank you,' he says. _

_

* * *

_

A little over a month after their return from the Amazon basin, Artemis is writing a paper on anti-gravitational transportation when Holly enters his study.

'Sooo ... Artemis,' she perches on the arm of his chair.

Suspicious, the man in question looks back at her out of the corner of his eye, but continues typing. 'Yes?

Holly licks her lips. 'Well, let me put it this way – what do you think about children?'

Artemis stops typing. He twists in the chair to face his wife. 'In general? Or my own, hypothetical, children?'

'The latter. But with more emphasis on "your own" and less on "hypothetical".'

Artemis blinks. 'What exactly are you attempting not to tell me, Holly?'

'Ah ... well ... see, the thing is ...' Holly looks up at the ceiling, over to the door, out of the window, and then down at Artemis. 'I might not have had my period in over two months.'

'"Might not have had?"'

'We-ell, okay, so, I was supposed to have it just as we were leaving Brazil, but it didn't turn up. Wasn't too worried - times of change, sometimes that messes it up so, you know, whatever, no big deal. Anyway, I should have had it last week but, once again, it was a no-show. Well, I went down to the pharmacy and got one of those bizarre little test kit things – sometimes I _still _find human products strange – and drank about two gallons of orange juice –' Holly realises she's rambling and pulls herself up short. 'The point is, Artemis, the test was positive. Which I guess isn't too shocking seeing as I wasn't taking anything while we were in the jungle and you didn't bring anything with you and, well, we _were_ rather happy to see each other, after all was said and done.'

Artemis stares at her as though she's grown a second head.

Holly swallows, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. 'Say something, Artemis.'

'My firstborn was conceived in a _hut_?' His face is the very picture of revulsion.

It's Holly's turn to blink. 'So ... you're okay with this?'

'Are you? It's your nine months of discomfort followed by intense pain, not mine.'

'Oh, yes? Just wait until I'm waking you up at two in the morning asking for pickles and ice cream, then we'll see who's in discomfort and pain.'

'Seriously, Holly.'

She swallows again. 'Yes,' she speaks quietly, 'honestly ... well, it'd be kind of nice. But it does seem ... young. I'm not even one hundred yet!'

Artemis laughs as she clambers down into his lap. Suddenly, however, she rounds on him, one finger prodding his chest. 'But I am not giving birth to a criminal, Artemis Fowl. I don't care how smart this child is, you are not indoctrinating it into the Fowl family creed - Myles' and Beckett's kids can carry on the family's criminal legacy.'

'But it's a time-honoured tradition!' Artemis protests in mock-horror.

'Just think of it this way,' Holly plays with his shirt buttons, 'I could always put it up for adoption.'

Artemis sighs dramatically. 'No inclusion of child in illegal activities. Yes, yes, alright. However, should the child decide of its own free will to become a criminal, I will not be held responsible. It could be genetic, you know.'

'I am so sick of genetics,' Holly kisses the underside of his chin.

Artemis shrugs, fighting down a smile. 'That's a pity. They've always been very good to me.'

He distracts her before she can deliver her scathing reply.

* * *

The next few months do not pass quickly. Artemis has no qualms about irritating Holly in her current condition, despite Holly's temper being markedly shorter.

A month before the baby's due, Butler gets so fed up with their bickering that he, too, loses his temper.

'How on earth do you two expect to be parents when you're barely capable of acting like adults yourselves? For heaven's sake, you've been living together for over _eight years_. You should be used to each other's idiocies by now.'

Holly and Artemis stare at the enraged man, mouths agape.

'Butler,' Holly begins uncertainly, 'are you alright? You're acting even more hormonal than I am.' She turns to Artemis, 'Maybe he's got that thing where the men get so caught up by the pregnancy that they start acting like an expectant woman too.'

'Sympathy pains?' Artemis supplies.

'Exactly,' Holly nods.

'Shouldn't it be me that sympathises with your pregnancy?'

Holly gives him a dry look. 'Artemis, you couldn't sympathise with a dying kitten.'

For a moment, Butler fears another row but then the man laughs, leaning down to kiss his wife's neck. 'Come on,' Artemis says, 'let's get you into that bath.'

'Look, I may not be able to touch my toes, but I _can _get to the bathroom on my own. Let's not exaggerate,' Holly crosses her arms over her enormous belly.

Artemis raises an eyebrow and holds out his arms. Having registered the obligatory protest, Holly shrugs and lets him help her navigate the furniture.

* * *

'I don't want human doctors.' Holly's face contorts as pain spasms through her.

'You're not serious.' Artemis informs her. 'You can't possibly be. Get up; we're going to the hospital.'

'No.' Holly shakes her head emphatically. 'Call Foaly; he'll send a midwife.'

'Holly, there's nothing wrong with the human hospitals in Dublin.' Butler speaks softly, trying to calm her down. 'We've the very best of treatment –'

'_Please._' She looks up, eyes wide. 'Artemis ...'

Artemis stares intently at his wife for a moment before pressing the speed dial on his mobile. 'Foaly? Yes – what? No, she's not fine, she's asking for a fairy midwife. Well find one, she's gone into labour. Yes, I know I shouldn't listen to her in this state but it's difficult not to. Ha ha. Yes, you're very funny,' Artemis' expression is anything but amused, 'now find someone.'

Two hours later, Foaly, N°1, N°1's bodyguards and Mulch are taking up, in Artemis' opinion, far too much space in his bedroom. However, they brought with them a fully certified elfin midwife. The minute woman is standing on a chair to reach Holly.

'That's it, that's a girl. You're doing fine, now just breathe...' The midwife's soothing voice abruptly turns sharp. 'Why are you lot still hanging about? I want all of you out! Except you,' she points at Butler, 'you look useful. You stay. The rest of you _get_ _out_.'

'But I'm the father –' Artemis begins, frowning. Some morbid curiosity is compelling him to stay, despite his established incapacity to deal with Holly in pain.

'You could be King Frond VI and I wouldn't care. Out!'

Artemis opens his mouth to protest, but Holly swears at him in Gnommish and he thinks better of it, following the others into the living room.

* * *

The four friends take turns pacing around the room and sitting agitatedly on the couch. When one gets up, another takes his place.

'Why is she _screaming_?' Artemis asks when an agonized shriek sends him rushing wide-eyed towards the door. Mulch grabs him by the elbow just in time, dragging him back to the couch.

'Well, generally, screaming is an indication of pain. Usually of the excruciating –' N°1 notices Artemis' expression and cuts his jittery ramble short.

'Right,' Mulch eyes his three companions, 'I think what we need here is some tea, and a plate of biscuits. Maybe even sandwiches. No, stay there, I'll do it.' Mulch raises a hand as Artemis begins to rise. 'It'll at least be partially edible that way.'

Artemis opens his mouth to retort when the bedroom door opens and Butler comes out, wiping his hands on a towel. Six heads swivel towards him, six pairs of eyes fixing on him.

'It's a girl,' he says simply, and grins.

He flattens himself to the wall as they stampede past him.

* * *

'Oh, look at her, isn't she beautiful? Smile for your favourite uncle, honey. Coochee coochee coo...'

'Hey there, darling. I'm your Uncle Foaly, woojee woojee...'

N°1 eyes his two friends with disdain. 'You two sound ridiculous. She obviously doesn't appreciate being spoken to as if she were totally brainless. You're way too smart for these idiots, aren't you? That's what I thought,' N°1 grins as the girl lets out a minute yawn.

'Oh Frond, would you look at that?' Mulch waves a hairy hand at the baby. 'She's got a face to melt the heart of a hardened criminal.'

'Useful, considering the company her mother keeps.' Foaly eyes Mulch and Artemis.

'Gone straight,' Mulch reminds him absently, waggling his fingers at the child.

'She's got Holly's eyes,' N°1 peers over the lip of the cradle. 'Look how big they are.' With a dreamy smile he watches the sleepy baby.

The midwife joins them at the crib, 'She is pretty cute, I'll give you that.'

'"Pretty cute"?!' Foaly whinnies indignantly. 'She's the most beautiful baby Mud Men have ever seen. Aren't you, darling? Yes, you are. "Pretty cute"! My Frond-daughter is going to break hearts!'

'Hey, hey, wait a minute now,' Mulch pulls away from the crib, arms akimbo, and glares up at the centaur. '_Your _Frond-daughter? I don't think so, buddy. Her parents wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for me. She's _my _Frond-daughter.'

N°1 scoffs. 'You two've both got it wrong. I am the most powerful warlock that's ever been. Clearly, as Frond-father, I would be unparalleled. Why would they choose one of you?'

'_Excuse me?_' Foaly whinnies indignantly. 'Holly – Holly, are you hearing this? I am your oldest and dearest friend. You wouldn't make some pipsqueak upstart like this imp Frond-father, would you?'

Holly turns to her husband. 'Would you bring her here? I don't want them drooling on her before she's been vaccinated.'

Artemis laughs and does as she asks. Holding the child in the crook of his arm, as Butler has taught him, he looks down into her wide eyes. He smiles: he wanted the child to take after its mother.

'So,' N°1 asks eagerly, as Holly takes the bundle from Artemis, tucking the yawning girl gently under her chin, 'who's it going to be?'

'Butler,' Artemis replies.

'_Butler?_' Three horrified voices sound as one.

'Do you have a problem with that?' Butler asks mildly, from where he stands at the foot of the bed.

The other three gulp, eyeing Butler. The former bodyguard may have grown old, but he hasn't grown any less scary.

'No, none whatsoever.'

'Nope, not at all.'

'Who could?'

* * *

When, at long last, the fairies return underground and Butler kindly makes himself scarce, Holly lets her head fall back against the pillows, her breath coming out in a rush.

Artemis pushes her hair off her forehead. She leans into his palm. 'I'm exhausted,' she groans, chuckling slightly.

'What a surprise,' he replies. Gently, he reaches to take their baby from her. Her arms tighten instinctively. 'You need to sleep, Holly,' he says, and reaches for the child again.

She nods silently, letting him take the girl.

Tucking the baby safely back into the crib, he asks, 'Do you want anything?'

Holly shakes her head. 'No, I'm fine. I just ... it feels so strange to be only me again.'

Artemis returns to the bed, shedding his clothes as he goes. 'Mm,' he agrees.

She laughs suddenly. 'Artemis, we have a _child_.'

'Really? I thought you'd simply put on weight.' He slides in beside her.

'Prat,' she smiles. She runs her fingers through his hair, still soft and thick, remembering that first weekend in the rain. She lets him tuck her against him and marvels at being already so much smaller.

'What are we going to call her?' he murmurs, not really expecting an answer. They'd refused to think about it until they'd seen the child.

'Coral,' she replies, without hesitation.

Artemis blinks at the readiness of her answer. Then he smiles. He can't really argue with passing on family names, can he?

'Short,' Holly adds.

Artemis blinks. This he can argue with. 'No.'

'Yes.'

'We'll discuss this in the morning.'

Holly snorts. 'Remember, I can punch again.'

Artemis tightens his hold on her. 'Battles but not the war,' he tells her, kissing her hair.

'You just keep telling yourself that, Arty.'

* * *

Holly leans over the crib, rocking it gently with one hand and singing softly in Gnommish. Artemis watches from the doorway. The setting sun throws mother and daughter into shadow, illuminating only the thinnest slivers of their skin. The curve of a cheek, the line of a jaw.

'You realise,' he speaks softly, crossing to join them, 'that she can never know what you were?'

Holly pauses, still half bent. She swallows – the only outward sign of the pain that, out of nowhere, is slicing through her like the falling blade of a guillotine. It's an old pain, one that she thought had long scabbed over, but in that moment its edge is as sharp and fine as it ever was, all those years ago.

Artemis watches her face, frozen in the act of singing. He knows it was cruel, but he knows it was necessary.

'Yes,' she whispers.

'Holly –'

'Sh,' she shakes her head. 'You'll wake her.'

He rests a hand on his wife's head, cradling her delicate skull in his palm; her thick hair stands up like feathers between his fingers. Coral murmurs in her sleep and Holly begins to sing again.

'_A la claire fontaine, m'en allant promener_...' she leans into his hand.

* * *

Artemis Fowl II frowns at the imp before him. The man is one of the few people above or below the earth who can get away with frowning at N°1; which is lucky, because he finds he does it quite a lot.

'What exactly do you mean by "grow up with her"?' he asks at length.

'Exactly what I said, obviously,' tuts N°1. 'I'll give myself a human disguise and you can introduce me as one her cousins and from then on my human body can just get older as she does. It's perfect! After all, it's not like she's going to have any other cousins in the near future - unless one of the twins has a secret lover stashed away somewhere.'

'And what, exactly, will we tell her about your parents?'

N°1 shrugs. 'Tell her they're dead; tell her they're on a scientific expedition to the centre of the earth; tell her I was born in a test tube. Do I look as if I care?'

Artemis Fowl II frowns at the imp before him. N°1 smiles back winningly.

* * *

Coral Fowl (Artemis won that round by pointing out that she'd chosen the first name, though Holly insists that it sounds funny) is a pretty child; some would even go so far as to say beautiful. Thin, with a heart-shaped face topped by thick auburn hair, she has the typical pale complexion and hazel eyes of a red head. Attractive yes, but in a conventional way. She doesn't have the striking colouring of her mother or the icy good looks of her father. Unlike her parents, she is an average human being; in more ways than just her appearance.

Her grandparents, her uncles, Butler, all dote on her. She is an easy child to love. Precocious and quick to smile, she is ready to enjoy life and, in return, life offers her the best it has. Holly shakes her head at the ease with which her daughter passes through life. Artemis shakes his head at how his daughter lets life pass her by.

In truth, the only extraordinary thing about her is her family, although it isn't until she reaches primary school that Coral realises that most girls are not escorted everywhere by their behemoth God-fathers. Nor do they live in eyrie-like flats with mothers of no discernable heritage and fathers who rarely use words under three syllables.

Something else that surprises her as she begins frequenting the houses of her economic equals, is that most young girls worth several million euro do not wash their own dishes or make their own beds. A point she is quick to take up with her mother.

'But Mu-um, Olivia's got staff who clean for her. Why've I got to help with the washing up?'

'Good luck,' says her father as he passes, 'I've been asking her the same question for years.'

Coral points to her father's quickly retreating back. 'Dad hasn't got to do his own dishes.'

Her mother purses her lips. 'That's because your father –' she pauses, taking a deep breath. 'Your father has other work to do, sweetheart. And no more whining. I washed my own dishes when I was a child; don't worry, it won't kill you. Besides, if you don't do it, Butler will have to and he's got enough to do already, don't you think?'

Coral glances at her uncle and sighs. Reluctantly, she turns back to help her mother finish loading the dishwasher.

* * *

'I'm not having her turn into some spoiled rich girl, Artemis, so just drop it.'

He sighs, curling the arm she's lying on around her so that she can't roll away from him. 'But the washing up? It's so menial, Holly. She's a Fowl not a – a –'

'A Short?'

'That is not what I said.'

She sits up, to be able to look down her nose at him. 'Artemis, I'm not saying this to hurt you, but of the two of us, who had the happier childhood?'

He frowns at her in the gloom and she can feel his body tense.

'Exactly. So I am going to raise her like my mother raised me.' But she leans forward, kissing his neck by way of apology.

'But it's useless knowledge, Holly. She will never need to know how to load a dishwasher or make her own lunch. We can employ –'

'I don't want servants, Artemis.'

'But-'

'Please, Artemis. I'm not asking you to wash the dishes –' she pauses as they both smile, remembering her earlier attempts at just that, 'I just want her to be at least vaguely in touch with reality.'

'I still think it's an utter waste of time.'

'You keep on thinking that, Artemis, I don't mind. I think lots of things about the way you spend your time but I never bring them up.'

He sighs. 'Yes, yes, we both know your ethics are vastly superior to mine.'

She laughs, kissing him again. 'Well, they're really all I've got left to me,' she says, shifting her weight.

This makes him smile as he kisses her.

* * *

Another thing most girls her age haven't got, Coral discovers over the years, is a cousin like Norbert.

Orphaned at the age of five while his parents, distant relations of her mother, were in Tasmania researching a rumoured sighting of the Tasmanian tiger, Norbert is now independently wealthy, coming to visit her and her parents with surprising frequency for someone who allegedly lives in Australia.

It isn't just his unusual life-story that makes Cousin Norbert special. To begin with, Coral has never met anyone, not even her father (who is the smartest man she knows), with a vocabulary like Norbert's. Honestly, how many nine-year-olds are there who know at least ten synonyms for the word 'confusing'? And she swears that Norbert makes things _happen. _For example, that one time, when she had wanted to go for a walk and it had been raining:

'But it's awful outside. Butler won't let me go out in weather like that.' Coral presses her hands to the huge windows of the sitting room.

Norbert stares out over the city, frowning. Before her wide eyes, the rain stops, the clouds begin to recede and, from nowhere, a rainbow arcs over the wet roofs of Dublin.

'Oh, I don't know,' Norbert replies casually. 'It looks pretty nice outside to me.'

Coral stares at her cousin in disbelief.

Usually, however, it's smaller things. Flowers that bloom out of season, just where she happens to be walking; queues that vanish as they approach the zoo or the cinema; playground slides that are longer and more exciting than they have any right to be, judging by their outward appearance.

Needless to say, her slight, red-haired cousin has impressed her from the very beginning.

* * *

'"Norbert"? Are you serious?' Holly asks N°1 incredulously.

'Why do people always ask me that?' the imp huffs. 'Obviously. My name should start with an 'N' so it's easier for you lot to get it right, and what's wrong with Norbert? It's better than Ned or Neville. I like Norbert!'

'All right, all right.' Holly waves her hands. 'Remind me again why we're letting you do this?'

'Because you want your daughter to have at least some contact with your former life, however hidden,' Artemis speaks from the couch.

Holly looks at him, an unreadable expression on her face. N°1, quite forgotten, quietly leaves the room, deciding that maybe they don't need his company right now.

* * *

It isn't until Coral is halfway between fourteen and fifteen that her parents realise exactly how attached she's become to 'Cousin Norbert'.

'I'll get it!' Coral flies out of her room to pick up the intercom phone for the downstairs lobby. 'Norbert? Yes, of course, I'll buzz you through.'

Artemis, Holly and Butler simultaneously look up from the contents of an unlabelled manila envelope, the annual budget proposal of Médecins sans frontières, and _Guns and Ammo_ respectively. They wear identical expressions of scepticism.

'Well,' says Butler casually, 'glad to see your cousin are you?'

'I'd say so,' replies her father.

'You seem a bit flushed, darling.' Her mother says, straight-faced.

Coral swallows under the scrutiny, trying to will away the blood in her cheeks. 'No! I'm just ... it's just ... it's hot in here, okay? And I don't get to see Norbert very often! I'm just happy to see him!'

'Well that went without saying,' Holly fights down a smile.

'Look, he's my _cousin._ I'm supposed to like him.'

'No one was questioning your familial ties, Coral,' Butler points out at the same time as Artemis says, '"The lady doth protest too much, methinks".'

Coral flushes an even darker red and flounces back to her room with a resounding, 'Whatever!'

Holly leans back in her chair. 'Ah, Artemis, if only you had had the debating skills of our daughter... I'd've won so many more arguments.'

Artemis snorts. 'I suppose it's too much to hope that between myself, "cousin Norbert", and her incredibly expensive education, her vocabulary would be at least a little more sophisticated.'

Holly and Butler grin at each other over their respective reading.

* * *

A week into the imp's visit, however, Holly realises that Coral's attachment is not a joke.

One night, a few days before N°1 is planning to return 'down under', she knocks on her daughter's bedroom door.

'Coral? Can I come in?'

There's a muffled reply that Holly takes to be an affirmative. Stepping into the darkened room, she lets the door hang open behind her, letting in a little of the hallway's light.

'Coral? Are you okay?'

The girl is sitting against her headboard with her knees drawn up to her chest and her face buried in her arms.

Holly sits carefully on the edge of the bed. 'Sweetheart ...'

Out of nowhere, comes a sob. Coral launches herself forward into her mother's waiting arms, crying uncontrollably. Holly sighs, smoothing the girl's hair.

'I don't w-want him to go!' Coral manages at last.

'I know, darling, we're all very fond of ... Norbert, but he needs to go home. He's got school and ... other things, to take care of. He'll come and visit again.'

'No! You don't understand! I'm in love with him!' Coral flings herself back melodramatically, staring at her mother with wild eyes.

Holly takes a calming breath. 'Coral. I know you may think that you –'

'Are you saying that I don't love him?' Her daughter's face becomes hard and cold, strongly reminiscent of her father's at that age.

'No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that you're very young and –'

'I'm nearly fifteen!' Coral huffs.

'She has a point. I wasn't much older myself, was I?' Unnoticed, Artemis has been leaning in the doorway. But he speaks in Gnommish and, though Holly glares daggers at him, Coral only looks bemused. She's heard her parents and, occasionally, Butler speak her mother's bizarre native-tongue, but she's never learnt it.

'Not helping, Artemis,' Holly replies in the same language, before turning back to Coral. 'Yes, you're nearly fifteen, and I know you're terribly grown up, but, darling, Nu–Norbert – he's ... well, he's family, isn't he?'

Coral scoffs, her disdain reminding Holly once more of Artemis. 'Barely. The son of your second cousin, or something? That's hardly incest. Mum, I _love him. _He's special. He knows things ... he can do things, he -'

'What things?' Holly's eyes narrow in suspicion.

'Nothing, you'd think I'm being silly.' Coral catches sight of her mother's expression and quickly changes tact, 'Mum, it's nothing. Really.'

Holly does not look convinced, but she lets it go.

'Well,' Artemis speaks from the doorway, 'you're certainly correct about one thing: he is, without a doubt, special.'

Coral looks up hopefully. 'So you're okay with it, Daddy? _Please _say yes.'

Artemis is not a sentimental man, but there is something about having one's only child, now teetering precariously close to adulthood, turn to you and say, like she used to as a child, 'Daddy', that makes him become uncharacteristically maudlin. 'Eh ...' is all he manages.

'Coral,' Holly takes her daughter by the shoulders, 'listen to me. Norbert is wonderful, and if he were anyone but himself I would be thrilled for you. But not him. It's just ... it's just not possible.'

'Why not?' Coral's jaw sets defiantly.

Holly sighs. 'Why did she have to inherit your stubbornness?' she asks Artemis as though Coral weren't there.

'I beg your pardon, _I'm_ the stubborn one now?' Artemis crosses his arms huffily.

Holly turns back to their daughter. 'Trust me, Coral, there'll be others.'

'There weren't for me,' Artemis speaks softly in Gnommish once more.

Holly swallows hard, staring intently at their daughter's face, refusing to look at him. 'Artemis, please,' she replies in the same language, 'don't give her false hope. This isn't the same. You know it's impossible. _Please help me_.'

From his post at the door, he can see her shoulders shake with the desire to tell her daughter everything.

'Does it end with us, then?' he asks quietly. 'No more contact? The People a secret we take to the grave? Would it be so very bad if -'

'Yes.' Holly's voice is harsh. 'Yes, it would. You know how much I wish we could all live together. You _know –_ but you don't know the fear they live in: of being discovered, of being hunted down again. They have nowhere else to run! Isn't it you who's always saying I can't tell her? Isn't it you who's always reminding me that it ends with us?'

'Would you guys stop talking in that language? It's really rude you know: I can't understand it at all!' Coral crosses her arms, pouting, effectively ending her parents' discussion.

'Sorry, Coral,' Holly turns her attention back to the teenager. 'Is nothing I say going to persuade you that Norbert isn't the one for you?'

'Nothing,' the girl confirms.

Holly sighs. 'He'll break your heart. Trust me, I should know. I have terrible taste in men.'

'I am standing _right here –'_

Coral giggles. 'You know,' she looks up at her parents, her dramatic love life momentarily forgotten, 'all of my friends know how their parents met. Their mums always get all soppy and tell us about it. But you've never told me how you two got together.'

Her mother blinks. Her father gives what can only be described as a predatory smile. 'I kidnapped her and held her for ransom,' he says.

Coral bursts out laughing.

Artemis frowns. 'In what way is that amusing? I'm telling you that I abducted your mother, and you laugh?'

Taking several deep breaths to calm herself, Coral manages to get out, 'That's a good one, Dad. Really. But come on, do you really expect me to fall for it? Mum could beat you bloody.'

'Well obviously I had help, Butler isn't just a, well, butler, you know.'

'Sure, whatever, Dad.'

Standing, Holly takes her affronted-looking husband by the elbow, shepherding him through the door.

'Good night, Coral.'

'Good night, Mum, Dad.'

As Holly closes the door, Coral calls out, 'And Dad can come up with as many mad stories as he likes, I haven't changed my mind.'

Artemis looks deeply offended. 'This is what I get for not raising her to become a proper Fowl. No respect! I would never have doubted my father's claims of abduction.'

'Yes, honestly, the youth of today. Shocking.' Holly shakes her head in mock-dismay.

'Thank you for your support,' Artemis returns dryly.

Holly smiles up at him in the dim light. 'Come to bed?' she asks, wrapping her arms around his torso.

'In a minute, I want to speak to your esteemed cousin.'

Holly nods slowly. 'Do you want me to –'

'No, go on to bed, I'll be along shortly.'

She shrugs, turning to go, but he catches her arm. She raises her eyebrows. He cocks his head slightly, looking at her. She raises her eyebrows in a 'Yes, and?' expression. He licks his lips, putting the back of his hand to her cheek. She nods, accepting his apology.

* * *

He knocks on N°1's door.

The imp, his human disguise still firmly in place, opens the door. 'Isn't it a bit late for visits, Mud Man?'

'Decidedly. Don't worry, I won't be long, I have other things I'd much rather be doing than this,' Artemis steps into the room, shutting the door behind him.

'I can think of one in particular,' N°1 replies, waggling his eyebrows. 'Not quite five-foot, red hair -'

'I've come to ask you a favour,' Artemis interrupts.

'Oh yes? Well, do tell!' N°1 hops onto his bed, patting the eiderdown next to him. Artemis sits, resting his arms on his legs.

'Coral has become ... rather fond of you.'

'Well, I should hope so! I'm the most interesting family member she's got. Tragic, because I'm not even family, not really.'

'I mean she's infatuated with you.'

'Infat – you mean as in romantically attached, in love with, desirous of –'

'Yes, yes, all of those.'

'Oh.'

They sit in silence for a moment.

'You want me to tell her I don't ... reciprocate her feelings.'

'Precisely.' Artemis frowns suddenly. 'You don't, do you?'

The imp shakes his head. 'Call me crazy but, personally, I like to stick with my own species. I mean, I love her - she's the little sister I never had – but that's all.'

'Good,' said Artemis. 'Tell her tomorrow.'

'What, just knock on her door and say '"Hey, Coral, your dad just wanted me to tell you that I'm not in love with you?"' That'd go over like a lead balloon.' N°1 grins at the idiom.

Artemis pinches the bridge of his nose. 'I'm sure you'll think of something.'

* * *

And, of course, N°1 does think of something. His sudden desire to start talking about his girlfriend Annie over breakfast the next morning might not have been any subtler than his original proposal, but it got the point across.

Coral spends the three weeks after he leaves sulking in her room, banging doors and spontaneously bursting into tears. The three adults learn to avoid her unless she approaches them first. Her eyes aren't the only thing she's inherited from Holly.

Eventually, Butler decides enough is enough. One Friday after school, he picks her up and, instead of heading back to the flat, takes her on a road trip. They drive down to Cork where he takes her shopping and out for a greasy dinner Artemis wouldn't touch with a barge pole. The next day they go to Blarney Castle, and laugh at the tourists, and kiss the stone, and eat proper seafood in a village on the coast.

'Did you tell my parents about this?' Coral asks him the next day, eating chips out of their paper wrapping.

'Sure,' Butler shrugs. 'I left them a message on Artemis' voicemail.'

'You rebel! Dad'll be pissed that he didn't have a say in it.' Coral seems to relish the idea of Butler having got one over on her father.

'I don't think so, Holly'll keep him occupied. Besides, it's good for him to be taken by surprise once in a while. Though, having said that, I should probably tell him Juliet's coming back next month. Keeps slipping my mind ...' Butler's words trail off as he chews his food thoughtfully.

Coral leans on his shoulder, 'Just tell him it's senility kicking in.'

Butler laughs, but his face is sad.

* * *

When Butler and Coral return to Dublin, Artemis and Holly are amazed to discover that Coral has completely forgotten about her heartbreak. In fact, to all intents and purposes, she seems to have forgotten she ever loved Norbert at all. Once again she's cheerful and smiling and closing doors without breaking the doorframes. Her father is appalled that three days on the coast are all it took to make her forget. Where is her resolve? Her passion?

'She isn't like us,' he tells Holly one day, as they sit in St. Stephen's Green, watching children, much younger than their daughter is now, run screaming after a giant red ball. They're waiting for her to return from a sleepover. 'She forgot all about N°1 after only three weeks of sulking and three days' holiday. Why isn't she hatching some sort of plan?'

Holly shakes her head. 'Because she's normal, Artemis. Because she isn't like us. Or should I say "you"? This is how normal people are.'

'It's odd,' he mutters bemusedly.

Holly laughs and swings her legs over his. Thoroughly middle-aged now, she enjoys shocking her age-bracket with youthful displays of affection and by arriving at functions on a red motorbike.

* * *

Pushing her fringe out of her eyes, Holly comes to a gasping stop. She leans against a lamp-post for support, clutching a stitch in her side and swiping her bangs out of her eyes, glaring up at the grey in them.

As her pulse slows, Holly peers up the street. She's at least four streets from the flat but she knows she won't be able to make it running. Frowning, she begins a slow walk. She's never not finished before.

Butler is reading on the couch when she gets home. He looks up from Coral's letter as Holly kicks off her shoes, still breathing heavily.

'Are you alright?' he asks.

'Yes, I think so. I just ...' she takes a deep gulp of air, 'I couldn't finish my run. I had to walk the last four streets.' She flops down next to him on the couch, looking dejected.

'Do you want some water?'

'Yes, I'll – don't get up! – I'll get some in a minute.' She lets her head fall back against the couch. 'God, Butler, I'm getting old. My hair's more grey then red these days and now I can't even ... I'm only fifty-two! A hundred and eighteen. Whatever. Way too young for this.'

'Fifty-two's about when I started having trouble,' Butler remarks.

Holly rolls her head to face him. She opens her mouth to say something but then pauses, frowning. When she does speak, her voice is quiet. 'At least I got to enjoy my forties. I'm sorry, Butler, you're the last person who should have to listen to me bitch about my lost youth.' She puts a hand on his arm.

His wrinkled face breaks into a grin. 'Not at all, reminds me of mine.'

'You're so good to me, Big Man.' She punches him very, very gently on his arm, then wraps her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. 'But tell me, what does my errant daughter have to say for herself?'

Butler puts a hand to her hair and begins to paraphrase drastically.

* * *

The first time Coral remembers being absolutely, truly, heart-broken - more than the loud, shattering moments after Norbert's defection or the quieter but deeper pain of her later relationships - is when her god-father dies.

For as long as she can remember the huge man has lived with her and her parents. He is her brother, her uncle, her teacher, her first friend. But, even then, she can see that the pain she feels is nothing compared to what her parents are going through. Her father - her cool, calm, collected father - seems to be going to pieces. She's never seen him cry, not even get teary-eyed, but now he sits on the edge of Butler's bed with his arms around her mother's waist, crying into her stomach. Her mother runs her fingers through his hair, making soothing noises that come out uneven over the hiccupping of her own sobs.

Juliet, her beautiful, if elusive, aunt, sits next to Butler, a hand on his shaved head, her lips pressed firmly together, but still quivering. At the foot of the bed is a strange woman. She has her face buried in her hands, her blonde ringlets falling forward to hide both.

'I wish you would all stop crying,' Butler whispers feebly. 'I'm nearly as old as Holly. It's time to go.'

This just sets off a fresh flood of tears from her mother. Coral frowns, not getting the joke.

'Holly,' Butler's voice is painful to hear, 'for heaven's sake, stop that.'

Before Holly can reply, however, the laptop on the desk flickers magically to life, her Uncles Foaly and Mo, and cousin Norbert appearing on it. Briefly, she wonders how Mo and Norbert got out to Foaly's research station. It's somewhere unreachable in the Himalayas, after all, which is why Foaly never comes to visit.

'Oh good,' Foaly says, clearly relieved. 'I thought we might be too late.'

'How you feelin', Big Man?' Mo peers out from the screen.

'So much better now that I get to die looking at your charming mug,' comes the dry response.

'Hey now, don't talk like that. You could have weeks left.'

Holly shakes her head. 'He's got minutes,' she whispers.

Foaly turns on her sharply. 'You can still –' He catches sight of Coral and stops abruptly.

Holly nods. 'Yes,' she says.

'Well,' Butler tries to sound cheerful, 'if this is all I've got, I'd just like to say it's been a pleasure. A man couldn't have asked for a better life.' He raises one arm feebly. 'Come closer, Artemis; I can't reach you.'

Letting go of Holly, her father rises shakily and comes to sit at Butler's side, opposite Juliet. He looks, for a moment, like a lost child. 'You needn't – we could find something – Domovoi, be reasonable –'

'I'm old, Artemis. After all the times I've had to come running after you, I deserve a rest,' he replies, chuckling faintly.

'There's a difference between resting and dying, Domovoi -'

Holly clambers over to join Artemis. 'Do you remember that time,' she changes the subject, before Artemis can press the matter, and tries to smile while wiping at her eyes, 'that we thought we were going to die in Opal's labs, with all those go – soldiers?'

Butler closes his eyes, smiling and nodding. The blonde at the foot of the bed raises her head and comes to sit next to him as well. 'Or that one time you beat me at chess?' She takes his hand in both of hers.

Butler smiles but doesn't open his eyes.

'They still have that tape, you know,' Foaly pipes up. 'Of you fighting the – ah – bull. They use it for training recruits.'

'What about that time I punched Artemis in the nose in Russia? That was always one of Root's favourites,' Holly tries out a watery smile.

Coral stares at her mother in disbelief.

'Or Trouble's poor Retrieval squad,' Holly continues, as though determined to push the present aside. 'Or that time I sprayed you in rad gel and you looked like a foam-covered yeti.'

'Or when we moved that enormous couch into Holly's and my flat, and you nearly broke your b-back.' Juliet speaks for the first time, before her chin begins trembling too hard to continue. 'Oh, Dom.'

'Or the time we drank cappuccinos on the beach while Holly was perched on the luggage rack, following Minerva,' Artemis speaks at last, smiling faintly.

Holly rounds on him, hamming it up. 'I _knew _it! Goddammit, Artemis, I _knew _you two weren't at the library.'

Butler wheezes with laughter.

'I can't _believe_ you –' Holly stops abruptly, turning back to Butler. 'Oh no. No ...'

Juliet's chin quivering dissolves into full blown sobbing. Artemis goes so still that, for a moment, Coral is worried he's died too. The blonde at the foot of the bed kisses the hand she holds, whispering an apology: for what, Coral has no idea. Her mother places a hand on Butler's chest, over his heart, crying unashamedly. On the screen, her uncles and cousin are silent and solemn.

Coral can feel her own throat close as she wipes vainly at her face, trying to keep her tears from soaking her shirt. Giving up, she climbs onto the bed and into her mother's arms. As Holly holds her painfully tight, Coral wonders who is comforting whom.


	23. Chapter 23

Well, I'm afraid this is it, folks. My obligatory 60 000 words are far away and passed and I've dragged this on for long enough. I hope you enjoy this one last, little bit; it had to be done, really. I make no apologies if you find this maudlin, melodramatic or mawkish (aha! alliteration!), this story's going out with a bang. Thanks to everyone for all the wonderful things you've said!

Once and for all, ilex-ferox has been beyond compare, especially with this chapter. So thank you, one more time. And just keep thinking about Never on a Sunday.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three: No Parenthesis

_then laugh, leaning back in my arms for life's not a paragraph _

_And death i think is no parenthesis _

_- ee cummings._

'Is he here?' Trouble crosses the floor towards her.

Holly shakes her head. 'Coral's taken him to lunch,' she replies, her voice paper-thin.

Trouble runs a hand through thick brown hair. 'Good,' he says, coming closer, 'I wanted to talk to you.'

'Oh?' Holly rearranges her frail body in the armchair. 'What about, Trubs? Nothing's wrong is it?' Her eyes are bright above her sunken cheeks and dark, dry lips.

'No ... nothing's wrong.' Trouble stands next to her, coming up to her shoulder.

'You've got a new scar,' she smiles, tracing the fresh white line with one thin finger. His skin is still smooth and dark, soft under her trailing nail.

'Yeah, accident with a couple of goblins yesterday,' he shrugs.

She begins to let her hand drop but he takes hold of it, keeping it pressed against his face. His dark eyes are a little desperate.

'Trouble ...' she frowns, 'what's wrong? Something's wrong.'

'Nothing's wrong. I just ... I wanted ... I needed to speak to you before,' he swallows, 'before ...' But he is not brave enough to say it.

'Trouble, I've years to go before I die: the doctors say at least a decade.' She rolls her eyes, 'What joy, what rapture.'

'You know time passes differently below ground. I may not get another chance to come up in the next decade. Or what if you ... if you ...'

'Okay. Alright. It's alright, Trubs, you want to talk, I'm here. It's alright,' she speaks softly, as though to a frightened child.

'I love you, Holly,' he blurts out, still holding her hand.

She smiles, 'I love you too, Trubs, you're one of my closest friends. And you've been fantastic about this whole thing, really. You've been the best.'

'No, I mean I love you. I wanted to marry you, Holly Short.'

Holly licks her dry lips. 'Marry me,' she repeats slowly.

'Yes.'

'Why are you telling me this?'

'Because ... I needed to tell you. But I just couldn't ever get the nerve up before, and then, afterwards, you seemed so happy with,' he wrinkles his nose, 'Fowl.'

'I am happy with him. I love him, Trouble.'

'I know. I _know._ I just ... I couldn't let you go without telling you how I felt.' He lets her hand drop, turning back towards the window. 'I'm sorry if I've offended you, Holly.'

'Oh Trouble,' she sighs, 'don't be silly. I'm not offended. It's just ... well, it's a bit selfish of you, dropping this on me now.'

'Selfish? What do you mean?' He turns back to her, puzzled and hurt. 'What should I have done? I couldn't have told you before. A Commander and his Captain? A fairy and a human? Either way, we couldn't have done it.'

'No,' Holly nods, '_we_ couldn't have. Trouble,' she sighs again, 'it wouldn't have mattered when you told me. I've always loved him. Even before this. Even when I was...'

Trouble stares, 'You're kidding me.'

'Nope.'

'Holly, that's sacrilege. That's -'

'Love, Trouble, is what that is.'

'I couldn't have done that,' he repeats.

'No,' Holly agrees again, 'you couldn't have.'

Trouble looks at the tiny human before him, her delicate bones barely hidden beneath dark, wrinkled skin. She seems so fragile, as though she couldn't stand up in a breeze, never mind break every taboo thrown her way. He discovers that he feels ashamed. "Courageous Commander Kelp", he laughs to himself. He finds he loves her now more than ever.

He smiles at her suddenly, 'You're a better man than I am, Holly. And you deserved better than me. I'm glad you got it.'

She laughs. 'Oh Trubs, don't overdo it. I know how much you hate Artemis.'

* * *

Artemis Fowl II is a person who should have, by rights, spent his life alone. He is a man apart, and always has been. His friends can be counted on two hands; one, if you don't include family. His lovers can be counted on a single digit. One may be the loneliest number but, in some cases, it's all that's needed.

So when Holly tells him, with terrifyingly calm certainty, that she is going to die tonight, he finds himself faced with a decision that, had he read or heard about it elsewhere, he would have condemned as melodramatic and clichéd. But he has never played the Capulet before, holding that happy dagger.

'How do you know?' he asks. 'You're weaker, but you could live for months yet.'

She laughs: a tired, scratchy sound. 'Yes, and wouldn't that be lovely? The People always know when they are about to die, Artemis. We can feel it coming, like we can feel it in others: the exact moment the spark goes out. I reckon I've still got just enough elf left in me for this. Funny, aren't they, the things that stick?'

'You're sure?' he presses. 'Positive?'

'Mm hmm,' she murmurs, her voice fading.

'You were always supposed to outlive me,' he tells her, as though this makes a difference.

She shrugs. 'I always meant to read _War and Peace_, too,' she says, her eyes closing.

Artemis sighs, watching the sun play in the wrinkles of her skin. She is so thin and frail now. Though, if her body has betrayed her, her mind has stayed as sharp as ever, never succumbing to human senility. He thinks back over his life and is hard pressed to remember a time when she wasn't present. The few memories he does come up with are hardly worth remembering. He finds that, over the years, 'Holly' and 'living' have become more or less synonymous in his mind. It isn't an act of hopeless romanticism, he realises, only one of accepting his time to go.

'It's been like a really incredibly novel,' she speaks suddenly, 'the kind where the end always comes too soon, though you were desperate to find out what happens.'

'I wasn't desperate. I always know what's going to happen,' he retorts, cradling her face.

'Oh?' Voice arch, 'You saw Opal's gun coming, did you?'

'I believe you have become even more quarrelsome with age.'

'Like how cheese just keeps getting smellier.'

'You're really enjoying your similes today, aren't you?'

'Trying to keep the mood light,' she smirks. 'And anyway, at least it's been a good novel. Sometimes they're awful and the end can't come soon enough.'

'Holly,' he runs his thumbs along her cheekbones, 'stop talking about novels.'

She _tsk_s. 'It's _my _death-bed; I can talk about whatever I want. Like that song, you know,_ It__'s my party, and I'll cry if I want to ..._'

'It always made me distinctly uncomfortable when you tried to reassure me. Something terrible was nearly always imminent.'

'Well ...' Holly gestures eloquently to her failing body.

He draws closer to her, their old bones settling against each other through the thin layers of their papery skin.

'Don't worry, Arty,' she yawns, 'you're supposed to have a good few years left in you. Enjoy them. Eat out with Coral and little Artemis. Terrorise the kitchen staff. Swindle a last couple of billion for Coral.'

'Yes, when put like that, my life sounds just wonderful.'

'It is,' Holly tells him. 'You've got more than enough food, clothes to wear, an enormous roof over your head, and a loving daughter and grandson. If only everyone were so lucky.'

'Let me enjoy my grief in peace, would you please?'

Holly sighs, wrapping her arms around him. 'Don't grieve, Artemis. I've had an extraordinary life. If it's time to go, it's time to go.'

'You could still be young now, if -'

'But I'm not. And how do you think I would feel, standing here, watching you fall to pieces in front of me, knowing that I still had another thousand years to go?'

'I think I can imagine it relatively easily.'

She chuckles. 'Ah, Artemis.'

He smiles, having no trouble remembering when she had lain on top of him, laughing into the duvet, saying, "Ah, Artemis," and telling him to come for dinner on Friday. He swallows. _Acceptance_, he tells himself.

_This isn't acceptance, _says his cruel streak, _this is cowardice. In the end, you're nothing but a coward._

_Perhaps. But haven't I earned a little cowardice?_

Reaching into the drawer of the bedside table he pulls out a bottle of pills. Shaking out a white one, he has to hunt for the red one, put there by himself. He passes the white pill to Holly and pours them both a glass of water from the pitcher on the table.

Holly frowns at the pill in her hand. 'What's this?'

'Sleeping pill,' he answers.

'Why's yours red?'

'I'm going to need more help falling asleep.'

Her frown deepens, then understanding dawns. '_No,_' she says, as forcefully as her feeble voice will allow.

He smirks. 'It's my death-bed; I can do what I like.'

'Artemis, you can't. I won't let you.'

'Oh? How? Punch me until I relinquish my pill?'

Holly leans her forehead against his, already worn out from such a long conversation. 'Artemis ...'

'It's getting late, Holly. Even for us.'

She runs her fingers under his blue eye, swallowing. 'Okay,' she whispers, then sighs, 'I _am_ tired.'

'I know,' he says, helping her hold the cup to her lips as she swallows her pill. She returns the favour.

Lying back down, she laughs quietly. 'This isn't how I thought it would end, that's for certain.'

'No, I'm sure it's not what every LEP hotshot dreams of.'

Another chuckle. 'Hardly a blaze of glory, is it?'

'I'm sure I could find some matches,' he offers.

'I can see the headlines now: _Ancestral home of Fowl clan destroyed in fire when eccentric elderly couple commits double suicide_.'

'How melodramatic,' he mumbles, eyes fighting to stay open; fighting to watch her until she sleeps.

'Is this going to be like one of those telephone calls where neither person wants to hang up, so they both just stay on the line until it gets really awkward and they feel silly?'

He laughs feebly. 'Something like that.'

She resettles herself next to him, their bones sliding together like puzzle pieces. 'Just this once, I'll let you win.' Stretching up, she kisses him, their lips dry and delicate. 'I'm closing my eyes now. Good night, Artemis Fowl.'

'Good night, Holly.' And he wraps his thin arms around her knobbly back, finally letting himself fall asleep.

* * *

'Good mo-orning up there!' Foaly has donned his biggest smile. 'Holly? Artemis? Wake – oh.'

For a moment, the Ops Booth is completely silent: even the whirr and hum of machinery stops.

Then, on the other end of the line, birds begin calling to each other. Drifting in through an open window, the noise is picked up by Foaly's celebrated microphones and relayed hundreds of miles underground. The booth is filled with the sound of birds singing.

Foaly sags suddenly in his chair, closing his eyes. 'But I didn't get to say goodbye,' he whispers.

The morning sun pours in through the French windows, and dust motes float down through the shafts of light to land on the white sheets. For once, the two of them are peaceful; folding neatly into each other, they might be only sleeping, there in the warmth of a summer sunrise.

* * *

'_Trouble loves me,' she tells him that night, as they lie beside each other, 'or, at least, he did. I never knew.'_

_He laughs at her. 'Are you serious?'_

'_About what? That he loved me, or that I didn't know?'_

'_The latter.'_

'_Obviously I'm serious, why else would I say it?' She frowns at him, 'Don't tell me you knew.'_

'_I'm relatively sure _everyone_ knew. Except you, clearly. Isn't that always the way?' He smiles sardonically. 'What did you tell him?'_

_She blows out her fringe. 'I told him the truth. That you'd got there long before any of this species business even came into play.'_

_He is silent for a moment. 'Is that true?'_

_She stares at him. 'Are _you_ serious?'_

_He watches her, not saying a word._

'_Yes, it's true. Of course it's true. Don't you remember anything? Oh, you silly old man, I've loved you for so long now, how can you possibly still need reassurance?'_

_He gives a rueful smile. 'Every now and again, I still worry that I'll wake up to find that you're a metre tall, and young, and always have been.'_

'_Would that matter? Even if I were, it wouldn't change anything.'_

_He chuckles, putting a hand to her face. 'No,' he agrees, 'I don't suppose it would.'_

The End


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